0:00 [Music] and welcome back everybody to another episode of the careful boys where we keep it careful here almost always always you know so uh let's let's have fun let's do another little prom let's ask a question okay okay and everybody go around share a little bit of a story but uh we were just talking about how everybody here used to ditch school let's hear some of the reasons for why some of y'all were leaving school ryan you got an excuse dude i just i just hopped the fence and walked off i feel like joe needed a reason to go to class yeah yeah i i grew up really close to my middle school in high school so i could walk home don't you start your house like every day like ████ i just want to go home well i'm going to tell this girl i could never use the bathroom like i could never take ████ in school like
0:50 everything about bathrooms yeah of course oh like it just gets locked up like i just can't go it's like too dirty i'm just like whatever i'm like this is whatever some people are like when they travel too yeah like i have a hard time going to the bathroom so i used to call my mom and be like yo mom i gotta take ████ and she used to call in and be like he's got a doctor's appointment oh she backed you up yeah then i'm home i'm like i'll have lunch like whatever and then i'd walk back to school then you went back to school that's the ████ sicky ████ ever yeah cause i'm like yeah whatever what because you want to stay home and just watch tv and just say like no because like then i would get in trouble because my parents would know because then my teachers would know so it was just like you know it was the unwritten rules i could do that as long as i went back to school
1:41 dude i ████ gave myself pneumonia bro so i didn't have to go to school for a couple of weeks you gave me you gave yourself pneumonia really yeah what would you do i wield it i was like every day you know how they say like in the ████ secret right you gotta like ask and manifest right every ████ morning i was like oh i'm so sick i i i believe it i believe i'm so sick right and they're like you ain't ████ sick get your ass to ████ school right and i'm like i swear to god and i rat i would run to the kitchen try to boil some water put the thermometer in that ████ and i'm ████ pull it back out i'm like you see mom i'm sick as ████ and then every day i wasn't sick till one day i started coughing like a ████ right like yes they took me to the emergency room at like three in the morning it was pretty nuts i was hooked up to ivs and i was like ████ yeah i see it believe it achieve it i i tried
2:32 to do that once when zelda came out majora's mask i was like i'm sick i'm sick and i remember i i like wheeled myself to a temperature of 99 but really i think i was just holding my breath so it was like sweating and it got up to 99 cause i also tried the thermometer trick yeah put the thermometer in boiling water it got too hot yeah it got too hot it broke 200. it broke and then all the mercury came out and then like solidified and i was like oh ████ i was like well that there goes that i probably caught a sickness you know from one of the students or whatever but i remember being out for like weeks and i was like yo this is a ████ dope racket man like i'm gonna try to get sick some more and i remember one time i had this like stomach flu thing and then i had to go to the uh to get a what do you call it the ████ cat scan ████ and then i actually had a piece of ████
3:22 stuck in my intestines yeah the ultrasound so i was like dude this is the best gig in the world like i feel like ████ but i could watch tv i get taken care of i'm like i am the best kind of milker but that sounds like a nightmare to me because you were constipated and that's all i can do it ████ hurts i'm like dude i'm like this is the opposite of what i want he ditches to ████ but you know what i didn't have to go to school and and then at a certain point i'll be like oh i think i'm feeling better i need to go hang out with my friends and then they're like all right ████ it just do whatever you want so i get to play every ████ day oh my gosh when you when you're like on the verge of death your parents are afraid that they're going to lose you right so they're like you gotta exploit that you gotta exploit that ████ and then you get to play as much as you can i love how nonchalant he just yeah you know your parents are like you know afraid they're gonna lose you so if there was anything wrong with me
4:13 there was two there was two solutions it was toast or take some advil like that was it like you didn't have the robitussin for everything no it was it was toaster like it was advil and toast and your parents are doctors yeah no they don't give a ████ people who have uh you know parents who are doctors or in the medical field they definitely pay less attention to your medical issues and because they've seen that at all they usually say stop being a ████ yeah basically they're just like you know like fine i could have a bloody nose my dad's like you know whatever like take eat some toast was it wheat or was it white no it was white bread bro this was in the 90s like wheat bread wasn't a thing yeah if you wanted wheat bread you had to pay like 400 dollars and hire a baker bart or something like there was no wheat buyer a bakery yeah
5:04 did your parents pick yourself or did your guys mom have like a split personality disorder where like when uh like when you're normal right she's a ████ ████ but then the minute you're sick she's like the best nurse in the world you mean she was your mom she was everyone like normally she all of a sudden she got like this ████ hot soup with ████ dates and ████ oh yeah yeah like towel on my phone with the goji berries in there yeah and if she comes are you okay and ████ puts a pillow underneath my feet i'm like damn you were a ████ ████ yesterday you just say that to her heart was the worst kid ever dude this guy was such an ████ he's terrorizing
5:56 i'm so confused because yesterday you were ████ because i was playing hooky at ████ ethan allen i'll get you massaging my head every day what the ████ is this you're a terrible mom i would uh sometime i really actually rarely ditched uh in high school because i was able to just get like off periods like during lunch and break and stuff so i was already good with that but i remember having my sister uh pretend to be my parents and like write a letter and like signed it as if it was like a parental note that i had like to do stuff but i could only pull it off like once or twice you know what i mean um and then from there i'll ████ just go play magic the gathering wow varsity varsity magic together
6:48 i will say when it came to college though disney class was way different scale because if you didn't have to take attendance in the class i never showed up yeah literally especially if notes are online there's like 300 kids i'm never going to show up to a lecture hall like you're just going to fall asleep anyway you're just going to be on your t-mobile sidekick anyway you know what i'm saying so it's like never went to class never and still got bees hey yo let's go dude so you're so you're a failure in the asian eyes is what you're saying with your being well i already had a sister who was doing better so no matter what i failed no matter what you were in the shadows yeah my s███'s highly opposite um i never ditched school in high school whatsoever i was like really good at that and then um i but i didn't get good grades so i had to go to community college and i was going cerritos college
7:38 and uh it was like spring break you know spring break you get like a week off so i just hung out at my homies house a whole week played video games and then once it was over i went back to um my first class at cerritos college and then they were like oh spring break just started now you were one of those guys were you just blazed out of your mind you said no ████ clothes dude you took a week off before the kitchen stopped that semester because of that i flunked the entire semester oh all 12 units gone over that so you missed the final everything no i just missed too much class that they just w'd me because they were like you didn't show up for us weeks straight yeah but you could have been like i was really sick after the video
8:28 but there's just like community college like a weirder thing where they just assume you ████ gave up like half the class does every class oh that's true though because the first week of school it's a full campus but by the end of the semester nobody's there yeah there's always like four people at the end of the like thing because it's like a purgatory you're basically trying to fight this is the step before hell like welcome just battle royalty right so yeah that whole semester was just gone i was just like oh that's halfway through and now i got nothing to do community college is like that it's a full class and by the end it's like five students like to retake everyone's classes halfway in and then by then there's another edition of the book you got to rebuy that ████ oh the scam i'm a college textbook buying books bro unintentional ditch story that everybody was like you're a ████ idiot
9:19 i used to try to ditch kumon all the time it's the most asian thing i've ever heard i want to ditch cool i just like now if you look at the logo of kumon it's just a child's face with like just a straight neutral he's not even happy he's not even happy he's not sad he's void of personality math it's like lobotomy they've lobotomized the kumon how long would did you go to kumon for like two or three years was kumon boring yeah it was here's the thing my parents would only get involved with my schoolwork if i was doing bad so i was never bad but like you know it was a traditional indian kid i was like all in ap classes and like i just didn't want to do the extra ████ homework today's video is brought to you by upstart think of all the things that you could be doing right now if you didn't have high interest
10:09 loans or credit card debt well upstart can help you make those dreams a reality by helping you pay off that debt quickly and easily upstart is the fast and easy way that you can pay off your debt with a personal loan all online or funding personal expenses over half a million people have used upstart to get one fixed monthly payment upstart knows you're more than just your credit score and is expanding access to affordable credit unlike other lenders upstart uses your income and current employment to help you find a smarter rate for your loan with a five minute rate check you could see your rate up front for loans of 1 000 to up to 50 000 and receive your funds as fast as one business day after accepting your loan wow find out how upstart can lower your monthly payments today by going to
11:00 upstart.com off the record don't forget to use the url below so they know that we sent you upstart.com off the record your loan amount will be determined by your credit your income and other certain information that you put on the loan application make sure you go to upstart.com off the record and i'm like why do we have extra homework like i just don't want to do it so one time i think i was like in eighth grade sixth seventh or eighth grade we were going and i just didn't do any of it like i didn't do the packets my dad would like hide an answer key we went to kumon i brought in my bag like a bottle of coke and ritz crackers and like you have to take the placement exam like after every grade you take an exam to get you to the next level i gargled the coke in my mouth with the ritz crackers and then i pretend to throw up everywhere that's so ████ scary
11:52 i don't know if my dad remembers his story and then he was like my dad i know in his head he was probably like what the ████ my son said he's a ████ ████ he was like i guarantee my dad was like he did all this to get out of a goddamn math test he must ████ hate this ████ and then finally he was just like oh you don't need to go yeah because i was like this i think once that was a waste of my money exactly like in hindsight if i were if i wasn't my son did that i've been like dude what the ████ what's wrong with you man yeah and that's when you became an actor yeah and then i was like well i knew i wanted to be an actor in sixth grade and so my parents gave up hope i think on all of my academic dreams around like eighth or ninth grade dance i used to go to sylvan learning center you know what that yeah yeah yeah yeah the white kumon basically what's that like over there what's the difference it's uh it's always in a mall
12:42 and then you you depending on how well you do at the tuning session you get gift certificates to mall stores what positive reinforcement that's so much better all i would get was just like congratulations here's a more difficult exam they would give you like they would give you like an electronics boutique like gift certificate yeah dude i was sick but then they also were really really bad teachers like so you really didn't ████ learn anything so they just give you coupons and you're like ████ yeah yeah ████ it's like it's almost like a it's almost like a handshake thing where the teacher is like hey you know like just act like you learned a lot so your parents continue to pay for this akuma and everyone was a ████ human abacus but yeah because you're not allowed to use calculators they had the english portion but i honestly don't even remember that because that was like reading comprehension and grammar and so as long as you just physically read it you're like oh i can figure this out
13:33 but the math was like if you didn't know how to do it you didn't know how to do it yeah because you didn't have a calculator i remember going to kumon for like two classes and then my mom pulled me out because she found out they don't hit the kids there that sounds about right that sounds about right she's all like wait they don't ████ him up she's like if he doesn't go what am i paying for he doesn't do the work you don't hit him like we're not going there she's like man i can't find a quality place with child abuse man america man it's getting soft see that's why like my parents put me in martial arts because like if i got in trouble they'd be like you're doing 25 push-ups so you imagine like a five-year-old skinny indian kid who can barely stand up and hold his body weight like they're like no on your knuckles i'm like five yeah i'm five years old you know what i mean and my indian
14:24 parents are like yeah and all the white parents are like what's going on i miss that type of discipline what about you uh nick you ever ████ dis you know i mean not really i do remember this one story because i was i played sports in high school not any cool sports but i played water polo and i swam that's cool anyway so i would always leave at like eighth period for games so i would leave and all that ████ right eighth period eight period yeah is that your last period that was like like seventh and eighth we would leave what the ████ is seven so yeah i don't know we would just get to leave early seventh period and honestly that was the reason why i played sports so i was like we get to leave early okay how long were the classes 10 minutes it was 55 minutes actually in our high school mine was similar did you get out
15:14 of school at five that feels long like we would start it was funny we would start our day on second period weird our first class of the day was always second period anyways this doesn't matter this is not important no we like all these intimacies wait it started at second so i really want to know how your school system works where'd you grow up i went to pasadena high school okay so it was uh it was like a zero period or something home room home room yeah pretty much but we didn't get to go to that i was for like the extracurricular whatever anyway so seven days period we would leave and you would usually have out my seventh period was a physics class and my eighth period was my sport class for whatever reason so when i would leave to go to the games i guess my teachers would just mark me absent and at the end of the year my senior year they started sending like uh progress reports of everyone's attendance because ditching was a very popular thing in my school it was like probably the most common issue it's pretty popular in a lot of
16:05 stuff exactly but like like it was it was like really bad it was like i don't know epidemic it was it was a pandemic bro it was a ditch democrat yeah pasadena baby kids would get arrested and ████ like it was like a whole ████ thing anyway it doesn't matter um so i got a notice in the mail from the school saying i had 65 absences for the whole year oh ████ whoa but like that was considering for one period one period would be in absence right everyone else all my other friends that would ditch all the time they were like the 200s for periods that they would miss wow and i don't know i've never seen my dad to this day so mad at me ever in my life like he was like i can't believe you've been ditching class like this i can't believe this he's like i am so disappointed oh it's over i cannot believe you and i was like that like it's only because it's the sports
16:56 classes everyone else has over 200 absences and he goes i don't care about the other kids yeah of course and i was like is this ████ guy giving me ████ for this right now you're like you see how wide my back is like you see i'm ████ water i'll throw a ball at your head 45 miles i'm 115 pounds i can kick your ████ ass sir how dare you i mean while he's like yeah is he pulling out the belt he's like that's a water ball these swimmers bro i don't know why they they would always slap their bicep against their lat and it was like the coolest ████ thing i don't know why but i was like why do they do that cause they're lame dude okay but anyways my parents got they've nev i've done way worse ████ in my life i've come home smell like pot just wreaking a pot my dad wasn't even mad at me at all but when i ditched 60
17:48 classes for the whole year he was like i can't irresponsible how many times this is ████ have you guys gotten detention i was like this kind of oh ████ i got attention for fighting when i was like in middle school and i was like junior high and cheating probably every single day for both seventh grade and eighth grade dude i got saturday school because of that ████ yeah i got saturday school couples i got banned from taking math at my high school how'd you get banned from learning you got banned from learning because i talked ████ about the ████ quadratic equation or something like how do you i mean you got cancelled no it's the dumbest it's the dumbest thing like this um you know you every ████ time you like when you when you get to algebra you just have that moment maybe you didn't but like you get that moment where you're like when are we gonna ████ use this like oh absolutely yeah we're still
18:39 there i don't even remember algebra and it's so like i was just very ████ loud mouth about it and then uh the teacher was like you are gonna use this and it was right when all the numbers were gone and it was nothing but letters and it was like l x over d whatever it solved for d or whatever and i was like when the ████ is this ever gonna i didn't say ████ but i was like what okay am i gonna end up at ralph so they're gonna go your total comes to eight x over x v that's the right answer though and then she was like get out and then she was like i'm never gonna teach you in this school so they they let me uh they made me not take math i had to go to a different school for just math she ████ refused the right to give you service yeah well i have a question how many times have you used the quadratic equation post that man only in math class wait i think she's ████ up for that she's ████ up and ████ her because she sucks and she sent me down a spiral of
19:29 thinking i wasn't good at math because like she was a s█████ ass teacher yeah and then so what happened is i had to take a math class at don bosco tech which is like a catholic all-boys school for real and i was like the bully there and i made these kids ████ cheat for me for three years wow and i got all the way to like trig and i didn't know one ████ thing about math oh that's how you do it so then when it came to entrance exams for colleges i ████ massively failed the math portion even though i was in like pretty good math classes and then uh i believed i sucked at it up until cyprus community college and then i was getting all a's and i was like holy ████ math is ████ dope she explains the world man that was freshman year that was my first ████ month taking algebra one and because i mouthed off she banned me from math that ████ crazy yo this is hey what's his teacher's name uh miss
20:19 dumbass her name's miss silau she was filipino too she ████ had my back my ap chem teacher mr langella he's out there ap cam you're smart bro he probably just became in third grade or some ████ dude uh i was in 10th grade he had a bet with me which he definitely has lost he said hundred dollars that i wasn't going to go into the arts that i would fall back why would he want to bet you though he's going to be eating oh yeah 100 he's being racist but he doesn't know that i got a movie coming out in six hours [Laughter] what's that teacher's name mr langella mr langella i bet he would trip the ████ out if he knew you were the voice of ken he was i will say this he was he was he was always good he was always a good guy yeah but i think i think secretly he did it to motivate me that's what i would
21:10 like to believe oh dude that's why awesome he because he was also the football he was a football coach yeah and i i don't know i think he saw me in the show once or twice i mean who knows i played the ████ place i told you what you needed to hear yeah that's what i always think it's missing but like no matter what it doesn't matter everyone's gonna be a hater she actually did spin me into like because of that i did find dance all day wow uh you know dancing wasn't allowed in seventh-day adventist schools but then when i had to go to that all-boys school that's when i got into dancing that's when i met other b-boys and then that was my first b-boy crew was the guys at that she's the wow dude yeah everything happens for a reason and she sees the algebra of life but ████ the quadratic equation that was the worst one that's the worst one [Music]
22:13 you
// end of tape