0:00 [Music] and welcome back to careful boys official nations well we've got d-chicks welcome back hey it's been a minute huh i haven't seen you in like oh ████ what the ████ you guys gave me the broke ass chair no these chairs some of them are booby trapped yup i was sitting here the other day i just fell out somehow i don't even know how that was crazy also did that answer your question yeah last time i was here it was so long that this seat worked oh that's true we had better chairs a lot of things worth two years ago do you want to talk about it no it was like three years ago give us a crash course update on what's been going on so many things uh i've been at home i've been eating ████ yeah sick i feel like people either got way bigger or way
0:50 fitter during the pandemic or way poor who got fitter just one person no i gained 30 pounds that's true he gained it on his ass i remember i was gonna fight his ass i was training for the marathon so i was actually getting leaner right and then right when the marathon was over in march is when the pandemic hit and i just ate and i had all that freezer food it's also i can't let this go to waste so i'm eating frozen pizza like once a week and i gained 30 pounds by uh i think by december but then i ended up losing it after oh and now you're just a god we're talking about the pandemic is still happening dude well like i guess it's a two year after the halftime the second part of the half time whatever it is you look sexy now so good job i went into this guy's freezer he had like eight ice creams dude who has eight i love ice cream he wants a variety what's your favorite ice cream oh it used to be mint chocolate chip but
1:40 then i found this ice cream shop next to my house they do this thing called uh gram central where it's like sounds like weed it's crushed well graham has a graham cracker it's crushed graham crackers with blobs of random chocolate and marshmallow in this kind of cinnamony ice cream it's ████ good that's not ice cream dude you're ████ eating like a whole different dessert man it's like a s'more frozen s'mores it sounds like cold stuff like there's hot cheetos yeah what's your favorite ice cream he's like he's describing his cold stone order i hold it down thrifty bro thrifty's the best ice cream ever and it's like two bucks still that's what's your favorite flavor there chocolate molten crunch is that yeah oh i never had that these little crunchy things on the inside oh my god crunchy dude i'm horny you get the 50s bucket or do you get them below the column
2:31 the cylindrical shape and ████ dude they got the bird they got the pints at thrifty now you can get them at not thrifty too i was at like some some gas station and they had them there and nikki's favorite is chocolate multiple crunch oh they sell the thrift i've never tried that damn they're branching out the cookies it's hands down the ████ best chocolate multiple you know what they need to do is they need to sell that damn ████ ice cream like cylindrical scoop ████ yeah that you ████ put in and you scoop it out like a gun and it comes out perfectly they should sell ice cream scoopers like that i really think that would be a good idea but where do you get it i don't know where you get perfect cylinder nobody knows dude yeah cause it comes it's like uh like the size of a uh like a soup can yeah but you know you know to tell you the truth i never even looked that's why i don't know if they sell it i'm trying to look for especially thrifty babies i'll buy that ████ right ████ now dude oh dude it's not bad they have the legit exact words
3:21 they don't got the thrifty one no really look it says thrifty stainless steel cylindrical ice cream scoop 24.99 and it's called the cylindrical ice cream i made that ████ ████ up 25 bucks though just use your hair hell yeah this was joe's idea this is ████ up yeah dude they're taking your ████ been selling it bro they are selling it off of righted so it does look pretty like legitimate but right it is thrifty dude right dude the best is have you guys been to a rite aid lately yup i got my pfizer vaccine there so yeah the when you go to the ice cream part they're basically like oh for yup oh yeah why do they get pissed every time yeah they're like cause they're well cause they're working the register too they're never at the ice cream place you gotta ████ walk all the way back to the register that's why they're constantly checking i get it like the other registers you're standing there and there's nobody there and then they look at you and they're like oh for ████ yeah i hate the
4:13 ████ scooping of ice cream dude they hate it yeah i'm gonna get that dude 25 bucks is going to be the best that's going to change your life i've ever spent that'll be sick what ice cream do you like do you have a big tub at home vanilla bro do you use like a little pint though i don't even ice cream that's a dick scooper do tricks know about the dark knight i don't know but i want that ice cream scooper i just love the ice cream i don't want the scooper almost comes out of it it's a it's a very uh popular sex toy that we're all up on oh a different type of ice cream we're way up on it we bought it early and we're way up on it yeah yeah yeah it's going to up now you're going to crazy we have one we need to order one one dark knight to split between the rest so we came across this a few weeks ago and it's this theme that has a suction cup and it does this crazy gyrating
5:04 motion and it looks like it'll make you come in two seconds and it does dude it does make you come too and it's got a suction cup handle you tried it dude we all tried it we all have one that we wrote around all over i would want to go how much is it i'm going first it's 69.99 that's a good price you buy two you get 20 off if you buy three you get 25 if you buy four you get 30 off dude we should have a dark knight party where we pass it around yes oh we make eye contact the whole time yeah yeah we do a little mushroom like hot potato you turn off the light when you throw it back on see who has it yeah and then they win or they lose i think why can't we just have each of our own yeah first one to shoot it's like it's so expensive eye contact what if it's like human centipede we take the suction cup we put it on the back side of everybody and then we stand in a line and it's a conga line yeah and we do eye contact guys i should still obsess with that look back at it look over your shoulder every now and then like this oh
5:54 remember that game you play uh was it like 30 seconds in heaven or something you go in the closet so was it seven minutes i don't know dude joe got rejected i never played um it's actually 30 seconds i know it's 30 seconds my lawyer's here oh okay that's just in the movies that doesn't last 30 seconds that's why so we're gonna sit we're gonna stick that in the ████ closet right and you guys got 30 min 30 seconds to finish and if you can't the door opens up it's like a public bathroom dang if you can 30 seconds so your goal is to try and bust you gotta try to come fast have you ever actually done that in 30 seconds yeah that's why guys come quick they're all trying to break the world record yup we're very competitive better very competitive we're champions my goal is to be a three punk chump that would be a little bit of a cool like social weird thing right it's like
6:44 that's who can come fast yeah because obviously it's like yo who can last a long time but wouldn't be ████ funny you just live in the world like what's the fastest you ever came i'm trying to be first place probably 45 seconds i went against my brother my brother had a competition we didn't look at each other yeah why not did you time it he thought it was weird i was like what the ████ you said you went against him it sounds very interesting yeah who can come who can come first were you shooting at each other no no no but i would destroy them because i got distance bro anybody else got distance i do have distance it's like crazy like distance i'm pretty good distance i have dribble dude 100 i never tried shooting it what do you mean i can't help it it just does it on its own well you just hand it out slowly no i just i like green pies dude that's it i like cream pies mine's like when uh when a guy slips on a diving board
7:34 [Applause] and then the scoreboard because that was like zeros yeah exactly is it the short dive or the high dive either one it's the same it's the same problem comes out like a ████ chinese diver did in the olympics i have to lock that up so what does that mean no splash no splashes it just disappears it's like just you're a distant star too honestly that thing always shoots at like i can't um gauge the distance yeah it's hard man you never know how far it's going to go i contain it huh ah this is telling me how you guys like to come explode joe's excited about this he's a connoisseur dude you're trying to come like a ████ circus cannon like a man in a circus cannon just ████ explode no that tells me you like to ████ nut outside so you pull out you ████ jack
8:26 off on the face on the body whatever that's how you know how much you ████ shoot a true chromologist yeah i came on my face before on your own yup accidentally that's how i found out i was a like a far shooter yeah i was on my back and then it went and i thought i was just like chillin like three seconds later yeah yeah it had arch damn dude do you look at yourself in the mirror like i have a piece of ████ after you watch your face laughter my own property where did it land smile on my chin but you know the post calm guilt right then you gotta come all over your face too did you go like this did you go no no we're laughing testing the waters just testing it yeah let's see like quantum control oh no like this was like him bart and yeah yeah no that was just like over 10 years ago but i was i was
9:17 trying to pull out so i won't ████ bust inside and then i pulled it out and then it did the toilet though like a door stopper and then it went ████ uppercut me and ████ and i went back and i walked in your health bar drained that's how this pull-out is oh no you got a cartoon dick bro that's crazy i can't believe it took us five whole minutes to not talk about dicks but like pretty good how are we going today's video is brought to you by upstart if looking at your credit card statements make you want to scream you are not alone that's why upstart is here to help you see the light at the end of the tunnel upstart is the fast and easy way to pay off your debt all with a personal loan all online whether you're paying off credit cards or consolidating high interest debt or funding personal
10:08 expenses over half a million people have used upstart to get one fixed monthly payment upstart knows you're more than just your credit score and is expanding access to affordable credit unlike other lenders upstart considers your income and current employment to find a smarter rate for your loan with a five minute rate check you can see your rate up front for loans from a thousand to up to 50 000 wow and receive your funds as soon as the next business days after you get accepted so fast find out how upstart can lower your monthly payments today by going to upstart.com off the record that's upstart.com off the record loan amounts will be determined by your credit income and other information that you put on your
10:59 loan application that's upstart.com off the record and don't forget to use the url so they know that we sent you guys bye-bye thank you upstart it went from ice cream to dicks dude the second we got to cylindrical scoop why did you pull out the ████ dark knight steve inspires me it was the scooper now everyone's been sending me sex toys right now it was so horrible until you pulled out the sex toy i have to say we did bring a lot of visibility to the dark knight no question yeah do you feel like we should get like promo code who first found this who brought this up no no we were watching porn and then the dark knight came up as a pop-up ad it was an episode often times we randomly uh find some i think the contest we might have been looking up somebody's old like celebrity sex tape or some random ████ right yeah i think it was a movie that you had mentioned somebody who yeah and then there's this ████ advertisement whereas you know those advertisers are always they almost look like gifs they're they're like yeah yeah
11:49 480p like ████ fast thumbnail 2x speed things it works though it sticks a suction cup on the wall and you see the dick in and it's just rotating this is like skinny-ass dude the huge piece like man i haven't seen dietrich's in like three four years and then you had to bring the ████ into this picture i wouldn't want it any other way i was i was just trying to get to know the real him dude oh ████ yeah hey let's you know let's take the dicks out of this the dick trick let's put the dicks into it what is the d stamp or is it the dick trix that now did you catch kova in the last two or three years good question i think so good transition you never tried you went from dicks to copenhagen i was just thinking because he was like let's get the real story what is the real story that united he just like re-scrambled the word dick he's like oh yeah yeah i think so you never tested it no
12:39 no because it was the year before it like popped off so no one really knew i went to my homies indian wedding and half the party uh had like the worst fevers of their lives and i was out for two days and i've never felt like that oh ████ you're only out for two days oh good no it started probably like two days before but two days like in bed uh not knowing that it was two days that passed what were your symptoms other than fever i don't i remember i was just like passed out the whole time the fever was the worst that's when i went into the doctor there's no great ending i'm alive i guess that's kind of cool yeah that's really did it ████ with your breathing no uh the fatness hat it has though did you get sleep apnea yeah when i was fat as ████ i got sleep apnea what's the apnea mean again well you're like this and you're sleeping and it feels like oh you're just beatboxing no no no no uh i i think i snore i don't know about
13:29 all that that's that was you don't choke when you're sleeping sometimes you ever took yourself to wake up actually choke yourself to wake up while you're sleeping and he and then you wake up did you know you were choking well that that's that's not happening to me what happens to me though but people that would sleep after that happens too yeah you ever drown in your dream and then you're like can't breathe in real life i've fallen and i wake up like this yeah dude that happens to me you've drowned in a dream before yeah yeah like my head's on the pillow and like i can't breathe and then my in my dream i can't breathe you're suffocating yourself yeah and then i but then i wake up thankfully i'm just i am here after all and that ████ fish comes out wow wow i don't know i'm just seeing i like the imagination world zoom between dimensions and ████ it's probably the dream in real life in real life i imagine things that happen in your dream right you wake up oh it's just a dream but it's real steve doesn't own fish i don't have fish dude so how'd that happen why would you anyway yeah you're right you're right let's take it back to somebody listen i'm not i'm not against
14:21 you on this i think it's a great imagination the artists have to keep it down here yeah i get it keep that ████ to yourself i get it but just make it funny next time yeah you know i will say on sleep apnea oh i have this problem where i don't snore like a like a i don't know a ████ cartoon snore like me me me me me who doesn't mean no i do i do that choking sound or like yeah like like you sound like you're dying yeah yeah you know in the middle of your sleep you're like just rossell yeah just like ████ dying you know and then uh every um
15:12 because i used to like travel with dudes all the time when we were like teaching stuff and people was like dude are you okay and they wake me up and i'm like yeah i'm fine what the ████ you wake me up like dude you stopped breathing you sound like you're dying and i just learned that that's what i that's a problem oh the rhythm was probably off it's weird when skinny dudes got um sleep apnea because usually like when you gain weight you have visceral fat and it's like squeezing up all your ████ lungs and organs inside that's why it's like choking you sounds like science yeah pretty scientificals [Laughter] was that a sneeze laugh no it's uh apparently it's a not welcome laugh i'm not walking yeah you gotta laugh out of here you can't [Laughter] hey did you go out during like
16:02 times like when lockdown was going on like did you go out like illegally doing ████ no no like not like that but like like did you socialize and stuff yeah a lot oh because i didn't even see it on your instagram you kept it low-key we had like more friends like like a lot of parties like of like friends from like our hometown that live in l.a cause people got mad at you for hanging out with other people during covet yeah if you made it public yeah people are like why are you gathering like people will love doing initially yeah unless you're protesting that's true we're protesting yeah obviously a lot of people like you know kobe changed a lot of ████ um like what was probably the biggest life change for you oh probably 40 pounds other than the gaining of the weight you look sick is that the is that the biggest you've ever been yeah really yeah i think i got to 210 and i'm usually 155. oh whoa yeah like eight like abc moons
16:54 ago it like 155. yeah well abdc were all malnourished sure that was not healthy environment in general third world country dancers i mean what about like work and stuff like that like what have you been nothing sick man you made it ████ major yes maybe you needed to just chill the ████ out because of how hard you've been like hustling for so long i'll say this like i'm an extrovert usually uh and so like staying inside all that time did that ████ you up yeah cause you know like you talk a lot but then like when one's around you kind of still talk just inside yourself it's equally as loud uh but nah i i like i kind of liked it you didn't feel like you missed people or missed people's energy no because i think i still had them over hmm i thought you didn't change so you didn't really change anything no if anything i kind of went out more than i usually do
17:44 like kind of during coping because no one was around so it's kind of still like uh there was no crowds anywhere unless you go to like you know uh like huntington beach or like we're done like yeah yeah yeah yeah republican orange county the red hats are a little bit you know more stern yeah more stern everybody was out but when you go with quest crew and we still look like quest crew we look like we're not supposed to be there but [Laughter] we're having a blast in orange county yeah they shame you if you wear a mask out there they give a little bit you gotta get beat up a little bit i went to i went to a friend's powerlifting meet in florida and i'm just used to california rules at the time yeah and i walked indoors into the gym and i had a mask on and everyone looked at me weird i was sure did they spit on you no but it was like oh this is this fool was like the stranger in the saloon when he opened up the double doors and everyone looked over there
18:36 they were like you better be a ████ kenja or a half jabberwocky or go the ████ home but it was also freeing because it almost just felt like let's get back to normal it was it's actually kind of nice yeah yeah i like it i'm a fan of not working and i was in a room with i don't know ████ like 300 people i didn't catch covet did i catch it already i don't should have made out with more people you got to start feeding people more steak and ████ you know i passed that over you didn't catch it because you're the one giving it oh i learned a lot about family and like uh because that's like it's big on belief right so inside the family there's different beliefs this topic was like a weird one of hearing like everybody's belief so it was really cool what's your favorite take on it yeah the people that are super split on it like yeah yes i believe in this i think it just comes down to at least for me it was just more i let it be for other people because with or without the match
19:26 for me like i'm pretty this like the same what about the 5g theories do you have anybody in your family people say 5g made people get coveted so people were like burning down 5g towers and ████ like that yeah dude all right that's one yeah so what is six g gonna do then probably get more coverage reporting according to them yeah according to i don't know i it might is kind of ████ up but i feel like it's worth it for the i like the new iphone what they're saying dude 5g is pretty good i don't want to try to make this ████ fast faster bro i don't give a ████ if you could download it into my ████ brain i would i would have a chip in my head i can't wait to get chips elon's narrowly you guys have the new iphone the iphone 13 with the new cinematic mode or whatever i'm gonna get it though i don't know i got it ordered my girlfriend got it for me for my birthday which uh just passed and uh thank you for the birthday shout out but the rest of you guys ████ off sorry happy birthday happy birthday dude
20:17 when was it uh the 15th it was oh that's type oh you're sagittarius uh i'm dietrix ████ oh sorry i thought you i saw somebody else uh libra libra libra i don't really know what that means i don't know anything i think that means you don't know anything like tigers i'm not mad at them were you born with the gap between your tooth uh no but i had a a lot of gum that's a libra thing it was like a gap between libra because that's what jill keeps telling me she's like what libra's got getting she was born with the gap and then she was something that's part of a libra thing i'm a libra but so far it's wrong she's gonna lie to you about a lot of things i'm definitely not a true libra then what about if you have an underbite that's me i'm a libra and i gotta you're a libra when's your birthday there's a gap somewhere 24th or september everybody's giving it to people that's like dig better what about overbite because that's mine i got the freddie mercury
21:08 thing oh yeah you got the chompers going on so i'm a libra tube what does this mean i'm not good at giving head well let's find out [Music] [Applause] [Music] you
// end of tape