0:00 You might think this motherfucker's an ████ Um you might not like what they stand for. You might not like their politics or whatever, but you got to get the deal done. You're not going to walk in a room and be like, "I don't work with Jews. I don't work with blacks." You know? Like you can't You can't do that. You got to work with everybody, right? Welcome back to another episode of Bart From the Heart, where we take harder questions and we answer them calmly and collectedly. Give a little bit of time to each person to formulate their answer. Today we're going to talk to Joe and we're going to ask him, "What is something that you believe or live by that most people disagree with, but it works for you?" What I live by. And do you have any close friends that maybe have an opposite belief as you in that field, but it's still works? I feel
0:51 like Joe has a bunch. Yeah, I feel like you got a lot. >> He has a very unique perspective on life and I I remember for the longest I've known Joe, I've known Joe to think the majority are weird. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. That's spot on. So like Wait. I'm having trouble with the question. So is it like something that I feel is morally right? It could be morally. It could be even business-wise. It could be a belief that you have about how you work and other people don't work that way and you are aware of that. And maybe even it's the majority. It's like that's Have you ever felt like you're the odd one out and how like certain people feel >> All all the time. Yeah, and I Okay, I think it would be uh my ability to accept the world as it is versus how I want it to be. So like I think a lot of people they live in this idea of
1:42 how the world should be, which makes it very difficult because they get their heartbroken when something doesn't play out uh as they expected. >> Yeah, like if a politician's shady. Whereas like oh, I expect them to be lying and shady. And then if they act otherwise, then it's fine. I mean, it might be a cynical way to look at the world, but like for me it's not You know what it is is is I don't think in terms of like that's wrong or right. I try to go why do they do it? So like why like so like why why does um a person act shady to be greedy? Like well, first of all, I think all humans kind of like they kind of want what's best for them. They don't think about other people. Generally, right? And if they do, it's
2:33 because they have a lot of um restrictions that prevent them from doing it. Like so social shame and all these other things, right? So then when someone does something, I'm just like for me I'm like, okay, cool. That's how this person is. Let me figure out why. But then I don't actually like think they're a terrible person. And I think I can I I made a lot of friends because of this reason, but then like and I I don't think people can make friends with everybody. As soon as they figure out like, oh, this person's like bad news. It's not that I look at the good in everybody, but I know how someone's program works. So I don't look at it as like this person is um I try to figure out how someone is truly
3:25 the way they are if no one was watching them. And I like that, even if it breaks my heart. Cuz not everyone's shady, right? But then it's just understanding in this situation how this person will act. And I like to look at it for everything from friends, relationships, how uh my leaders work, how this business works, whatever. Cuz if you think about the individual, they'll act accord they'll So it's like you're you're studying an individual, but you also study how a group of individuals will be. A group of individuals can be toxic, right? There's groups out there that are like criminal, there's whatever, and then they'll create like a set of programs of how to operate in this kind of community. So, because that's what I'm constantly looking at, I think sometimes I do a really bad job of like
4:17 speaking to people at a at a place that they can understand and and it gets I I get misunderstood because like let's say like the eye stuff, right? If I look at the situation and I go, "Okay, so um I'm trying to dissect what's going on. Did he actually pull the gun out?" Uh and then, you know, what's happening in the in the court of law? Like what what the rules of the of this culture says. Like in court with this within legal confines. >> Yeah, but instead of doing the normal human thing, the first thing is that's ████ up. >> Yeah, exactly. And then empathizing with the people and going like yeah, like dude, that's terrible. >> That shouldn't happen. But that's how humans first react, right? They first react to the emotional aspect. This is in like this isn't just I agree with all that, right? But for me I'm it's such a
5:07 common sense agreeing thing that I'm past that conversation. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so it doesn't need to be said. Exactly. So, for me the that's how my that's where my brain goes first and foremost, which makes it seem like I accept shady behavior when I don't. >> Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. But you're just watching like salmon swim upstream and then the bear eats it. You're like, "Oh, that makes sense. They're swimming up to mate. Bear just came out of hibernation." Versus most people like, "Oh, the fish." But you're like you know, you're just explaining what's happened the dynamics. And then so, because I observe things like that, I think um it sounds like I'm morally justifying or I'm on the side of evil or like whatever. But you're unfeeling. No, like I'm I'm looking at it like as a sociologist. Like someone that's just
5:57 studying human behavior and what they do and why they do it, right? But then also now that applies to my way of looking at people and then whether I accept this person and and and if if I can work with this person or whatever. And I've worked with a lot of shady characters because I just like for me I'm like, "Oh, I know where your set of morals are. You're not unpredictable to me." Whereas other people might be like, "Hey, man, like you should stay away from this person." Why? Because like XY they're you know, maybe to them it's unpredictable or maybe to them it's like crossing a line. But for me I'm like it's I'm not going to cross the line so I know my ethics is on point. But then yeah. But I think there's other things like yeah, I'm not going to ████ like there's non-negotiables like a pedo. Like I don't want that person around me. You know what I mean?
6:47 Like stuff like that, but yeah. So like I would say I have I I yeah, I'm more accepting of certain compartmentalized relationships with people that a lot of other people are uncomfortable with. Which is why I could I could make friends with both cops and thugs and I can I can be friends with people that are on the right or the left. And then it doesn't bother me at all. Huh. Yeah. Cuz it's yeah, I don't know. So you never have like an off-the-cuff emotional reaction to most things? What do you mean like? Like you know how you're saying like you see a you see a video of something go down, your mind skips over the emotional re- reflex and you go straight to like analytics? No, I do have emotional feeling to it, but it you know what it is? It's more like yeah, it's almost like yeah, we already
7:37 agreed upon that. We don't need to talk about it. >> Oh, okay. So like let's like it's tragic, right? So let's move past that. We already know it's tragic. And then let's talk about this. But then most people are like, "No, that's that's too early." >> Oh, right. >> Let me process this. >> Or they're like, "How dare you focus on that when Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But because I'm capable of doing that and then setting aside my feelings or whatever it is or maybe I'm desensitized that it just seems like I'm skipping a process. And when you skip that process it makes it seem like you're okay with a certain behavior. >> Yeah, you're condoning Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. violent lack of outrage. Let's say like in business, right? Like you might think this motherfucker's an ████ Um you might not like what they stand for. You might not like their politics or whatever. But you got to get the deal done. You're not going to walk in a room
8:27 and be like, "I don't work with Jews. I don't work with blacks." You know, like you can't you can't do that. You got to work with everybody, right? So when you go into the space and you're like, "Well, I don't really like this ████ but I need him to like me to get this deal done. I got there's more bigger things in line, right?" And I feel like that's to me that's a mature kind of way of approaching people. Yeah. >> Cuz it's like it's really difficult to only surround yourself with people you ████ with. Like it's doable, but it's difficult. Yeah. It's easier to learn how to navigate with as many people as possible. And you don't have to love everybody, but it's like you got to learn how to work with everybody. >> Find a way to connect with anybody. Yeah. Do you have anyone in your life or previously or currently that has a very
9:18 stark difference to the way that you view the world? Yet you guys are still friends or you're still cool. Even you and Hannah, do you have anything that you like are almost dead opposite on how you see it? No, I actually the the reason why I'm so close with Hannah is because we don't have to explain to each other how we view the world. So, like this is where I feel very understood by Hannah and I don't have to say that many things and that's actually both of our weak strength is a vocab or like verbally explaining things. >> Oh, okay. Articulating. We'll end up fighting because we end explain things. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. If we didn't say anything, we were already on the same page. >> understood each other nonverbally. Yeah. Yeah. So, it's kind of like we had intuition as children watching a political speech and going they're
10:09 lying. I can see it. They're lying. And then like there's just certain things that you pick up on. It is not like we have magical powers. I just think seeing ████ is just maybe a natural ability for some people of like I don't know. Like and then just not believing and not trusting someone or whatever it is, right? Um but she was able to see a lot of the same things that I saw. The way we handle it is different. So, the way that she'll do it is like let's say she gets a spidey sense of someone. Her intuition tells her like this person's no good. >> Something's off, yeah. Yeah. And then so she's like I don't ever want to see this person again. They make me uncomfortable, whatever whatever. For me, I get curious. I go that like this person ticks this way? Well, let me see what else and then let me test
11:01 like how far they'll go and then like I get more interested because I'm like this is a unique person. Where she's like this is dangerous or shady or unpredictable and I see it. The spidey sense is there. I don't want them anywhere around me. And for me I want to spend more time with them. Mhm. I see. And I not not because I agree but it's like that's why I majored in social psych and things like that. It's what I truly find interesting and fascinating. Yeah. And I'm and I feel like I'm playing with fire but it's not enough to where I know my boundaries of like how far I could go with someone and how close I could >> going to shatter you if you put your trust in them for real. >> Yeah, yeah, or like if you let someone take advantage of you or get to that point, but most people aren't that dangerous. So, I don't know for I guess
11:51 yeah, I guess for me that's that's probably the extent of how much I would play with that fire and a lot of people won't. Like a lot of people when they see something and they that's kind of like, oh, this is a person's dangerous. Like it's not a good idea to be around them. Yeah. Where I go, oh, wow, like like for example, like Kim Jong-un, like that is a fascinating character. Like imagine being 40 years old and you have all this power and you assassinated your uncle and your brother. And then I'm like, I wish he was my friend. >> [laughter] >> You know, like because like I want to know what that's like. I'm so curious, right? And then but it doesn't have to be sinister. It could be just like a a very wild, weird artist where people just be like, that guy's too ████ weird. He makes me uncomfortable. I might be like, well, I'm just I'm ████ weird, too. >> Like like Woody Allen. Yeah, but like
12:42 >> [laughter] >> Like yeah, he's just weird, right? But then for me, I find that so fascinating and interesting and I'm like, I want to learn who this person is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense because you're looking at it from a observational standpoint almost. >> Yeah. But I feel like you're kind of like that, too. What? Like you're fascinated with interesting characters and people and then you're more accepting of it because you know your boundaries with them. So, I think it's more like a extroverted trait where you're like, oh yeah, let's just ████ meet everybody. Introverts are more like protective of their time and space and how much energy they put. Where for us, I think it's just entertainment. >> I am similar in the way that I I try to connect with people that I like if I see a million red flags, I'm still trying to find the green one in a way. But then still I'm I think I'm still more apprehensive or scared to jump in completely versus how you would do it. Like you're
13:33 just like invincible at that point cuz it's it's not going to affect you. No, cuz I also can stop hanging out with them if I want to. And yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> And it's not a big deal. But yeah, I yeah, I think there's there's that and then the the ability to, I guess, turn on and off uh when I need to. Um feeling deeply tied to someone. Right. You can just walk away at any time. >> Yeah, cuz you could be taken advantage of when You won't You won't be like, "Oh, I don't want to be rude." >> Right, right, right. I think that's If you don't have that, then you can't you can't play with fire. That's true. >> can't say no, they're going to manipulate and drag you in. Yeah, they know what to say so that you can't get away. Yeah, that's true. Right. Hope you're not doing that with any of us.
14:24 No, I feel safe and chill [laughter] here. Imagine this whole >> For now. This whole time see, that's why this works. Thanks guys for uh watching this video. This has been another episode of Bart from the Heart. If you have any other questions that are pretty deep like this, uh please write them in the comments below and we'll add them to the next time Bart decides to do one of these.
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