0:00 [Music] According to a study, 50% of men think they could land a plane in an emergency. That's crazy. With no with no training. No training. Guilty. Just like that's crazy. Hey, is there a pilot on board? And we're like, I could do it. Stand up. Full of men. I play plane simulator. I got this fully capable. My favorite comment that I saw was somebody said, "And the other 50% are ████ They're not thinking big enough." Have you guys been That's pretty funny. Um like in the Cessna where like you watch them do all the take off all that. It's a lot, dude. So all those buttons they're using. They're telling me they're using all those buttons. 47
0:51 commercial. That's even crazier. That's what I'm saying. Well, you got like 800 buttons available. I'm like, "No, dude. I'm sitting down and I'm dying." I use this ████ Hey, but I thought a lot of that ████ was autopilot. Like when it's right, but you have to land. Wait, the landing is not the landing is not. You can't just put it on for landing. Give me like a right brother. I thought like taking off and landing is all on the pilot. No, you get a running start. I think so. It's the course that's auto. Yeah. Buddy of mine's a pilot. I think so. Yeah. He he he says that things fly themselves and then you just land it. So they just ████ it. It's like a Tesla. They got to turn on the engine and then press the start and then when it's ready to go they just they chill out. It's like it's like cruise control on a road trip, right? Or like it's like his Tesla. It's like ████ doing all this ████ Yeah. Like you still got to park your in your own driveway. Get paid that much then. I don't know how to land a plane. But if there's a hundred of us, 100 men only on a plane, right? And then it's like, hey, somebody
1:41 needs to land it. I'm not going to put my hand up. But the person who gets picked and puts their hand up, I will judge them. Yeah. And then I might go, not him. Yeah. Not him. I don't think so. Maybe him. Yeah. All right. So, if there's a 100 guys on the plane, 50 of them raise their hand, right? The other 50 are ████ We got to choose from the other 50 because it's always the Jon Snow is like, "I don't want to lead." But they're the best leader. That's true. See, the reluctant leader is the best. The one that's like, "Oh, I don't want the job." He goes, that's the guy that's actually if you're too like who you don't pick that guy up, though. There is a higher likelihood that a nerdy person will have played a lot of flight simulator. True. That's what you ask. Who plays flight? That's the closest thing to being able to do it versus like Yeah. But can they handle the pressure? But sometimes a reluctant leader can be the lamest choice because
2:32 like that wheelchair kid in in Game of Thrones. Yeah. Make a decision. He's the It's like why should I be king? Cuz you don't want to. Like it's the most boring. No, but then at the end it's like well why am I here? Right. Yeah. Yeah. Spoiler. He's like, "Cuz Hodor took you all the way over here." Hey, let's carry the king up and down the stairs, everybody. Like, give me a break. Do you think Do you think it's a higher likelihood that between 100 men and 100 women on a plane that the person who can successfully land it is a guy? Yeah. I think it's higher likelihood that the person who's doing flight simulator is a guy. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's a like higher likelihood because all the women would have been fainting already. Yeah. They're just screaming. They would have been hysterical in their chairs. They're either crying or fainting. But what if the plane is not having turbulence or anything? It's just going chill and then the they just need to find someone to land it now.
3:22 Like it's not a ████ It's just still like How would you like I think you can follow the directions from air traffic control. Yeah, cuz I think I could do that. Well, like like uh when you're diffusing a bomb and you don't know how to do it and you're on the phone with somebody. I think I could be a drone effectively, but I don't think I could if I had a manual or a tutorial. I'm ████ Well, hopefully they're talking to you like I'm like, "Hey, you know, explain like I'm five." And then they're like, "Oh, we're ████ This person This guy's an idiot." What about How old are you, sir? I'm 39. Oh, god. It's We're going to die. Also, if there's You have to find the button to talk to them. Yeah. What if there's no um air traffic control explaining it to you? Then we're ████ We're all going to die. So, you got to choose who What's the process of elimination? I'll do I'll start flipping us upside down. Just a couple barrel rolls and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just for funsies. Why not? We're going out anyway. Would you try a water landing or
4:12 a landing strip landing if you had to choose? Water landing for sure. Landing strip. Strip for sure. It's harder, dude. You ████ He doesn't know how to take the wheels out. This guy plays games on very easy. Clearly. No thanks. What was the last game you played? Uh, I started playing that new Oblivion one. Oh, the remake. The remake. The remaster. Yeah. All right. Fine. I learned how to fly a plane on um a lot of walking. Lot of walking. GTA got a lot of plates. Yep. On GTA. I got really good at GTA flying a plane on that. So there you go. I would trust you though. Pilot Wings 64 had a lot of that. Oh yeah. Do they have parachutes on commercial airplanes? Of course they do. Cuz I'll just put that on and dive for every single every single passenger. Dude. Good lord, man. Just for the 50 who rose their hand. The one Oh, the under the
5:03 the Yeah. I'll put that on and I'll jump out. under the chair. Joe's halfway down and he's like, "Ah, ████ I don't think this." And I go like that and it goes he takes a little straw and he's like, "If we're this room right here and we're all on equal playing field and we're all going down, I'm voting Ryan to land the playing." Yeah, I think Ryan. No way, dude. Yeah, Ryan for sure. No way. Assistant, who'd you have to pick a co- captain? ████ Colleen. She probably and then I let her do all the work. Yeah. And then take credit for you blame her. Then I would come out, yes, a man has done this. Take credit for it. If you landed and then blame me. I think has a higher chance of ████ figuring out than me. I told you I was in a plane. I don't know modern ████ at all. I don't think I don't think I don't even want to DEI this landing. I was in the
5:54 on the front cockpit. Yeah, I was pressing the buttons and I ████ controlled it. Yeah, but I we're just too scared of you in general know that there was I'm the best driver in the world. Joe wants it so bad that I don't want to give it to him. It might be his blood to be a pilot though. You know what I mean? No, but if the crash, he's almost too confident. My blood type is the crashing kind. ████ The worst scenario that you drop the speed too soon or too late. It's probably the descent. Like, you have to nail that ████ You probably have to drop at a certain rate and actually steering it to get on the uh cuz whenever I watch whenever I watch those um those first person demonstrations of when they land planes, I also go, "Oh, dude, that's you're going to ████ crash. That's too Oh, okay. You know what I mean? Like it always looks wrong." Video planes going like this. I'm like, "Oh, they're all f█████." Yeah, right. My normal that
6:45 you've even seen these videos. I'm voting for you. Put these videos up. That's not on my algo. I see these videos. I don't know what they're doing with their hands though. I'm just looking at the situation cuz you have to assess what's the closest landing option. Yeah, true. And then you have to call tower closest option. So are we landing tower? Maybe then you have to see if that landing option is even long enough for the inside of an airplane landing strip. It's like the Vegas strip. What the ████ Oh ████ It's Rainbow Boulevard. You got to do it. It's going to be chaos regardless. Dude, you know what I would do? I would get on I would be on there and I'd be like and then it's a female and I'd be like can I get a man on here please great we got a sexist up there emergency land emergency land immediately is there a man I could talk to you isn't Isn't half the battles
7:37 anything insane confidence cooling your I don't know about landing planes for that yeah I don't know I don't know about feelings when it comes to this kind of ████ Yeah. Yeah. Cuz confidence that could just lead you cuz like that's hard to say because there's some situations like if you're landing a plane, if you were really confident about this part, you're ████ if you figured out that was too much by then. You know what I mean? Like you can't go back on your like confidence, right? And then imagine if you don't have enough runway and now you have to take back off, circle again, find another runway that's long enough to communicate. She knows the word runway. Yeah, I know the word communicate. Hey, but you know, do you know the code though? Cuz they'll be like echo echo tom Tom.
8:27 That's a license plate number though. I say Omocrron. Omocrron. Omocrron. Omocrron. No, that's the guy that's the pilot's name. I'm the co-pilot. Hi. I don't know. When I was on the plane, they did that. Really? Yeah. They're like, is there a dude? It takes like ████ 30 minutes to check everything on the plane just to start going. Joe's not landing for us. Joe's not landing for us. What if the the landing uh runways aren't clear yet? So now you have to buy time in the air. So now you're off auto. Casualties of war. You guys rely too much on your brain. I will YouTube a video and watch it as I do it. But then there's no internet. No, they got wiped in the cockpit, right? Starlink. I'll be like, "Hey, can you guys can someone pay for my Wi-Fi? Can you have a card on file?" Yeah. That's probably the best bet you have is
9:17 just to like look up what the hell kind of plane you're in. Go to YouTube and go, "How do you land this exact plane?" If you don't have reception, you just push the steering wheel down like that and then it takes you down. It's a steering bar. Yolk. It's a yolk. And then you go down like this and then you get to a reception level. Then you can go on just before anything in regards to landing in a plane is hilarious to me. That's all you just got to do. Wi-Fi. Then you have to then you you probably have to go simply the monitors and find out like what movies they have. See if you find Flight. Watch that a little bit upside down. Yeah. Get in the game. See how he does it. Oh, dude. That's easy. I mean, if you just chug all the alcohol that's in the bar cart. Yeah, that helped him. And then confidence is through the roof. Skyhigh. Too bad we don't have a bump of cocaine. If you have to if you have to talk to uh
10:08 air traffic to even find a place to land, then you could probably ask them how to land it, right? Yeah, that's what I would I'd say ████ it. We're going water landing, dude. I'm not I wasn't born to play it easy, boys. You're also tarpets landing. You're assuming that air traffic knows how to land a plane. They're not skilled in that. Maybe they can connect me to the ████ structure. Or another pilot in another plane. Oh, there you go. Yeah, the same plane landing somewhere else. Hey, so what are you doing? Yeah, walk me through this. I need you to do it backwards cuz I'm dyslexic. So you got to flip it around. All I know is I wouldn't Not this guy. Not this guy. Not this guy. All I know is I wouldn't touch anything randomly. I would just have I would ask before ████ with anything. You got to start testing though to see what the buttons do. What does this one do? Yeah, this loses all thrust. It's important. Oh, this turns off the engine. Yeah, cuz remember how it's like I don't know if it's true now for most planes, but then
10:58 they're like, "Oh, you turn the engine off. It's going to take ████ 20 minutes to like get that thing going again. I'm on some weird ████ like this in your face, you guys. Now, yeah, let's do it. We should all do it. The careful boys get their in my face me proof. Definitely not a joke. It's definitely not a joke. I drive way better than everybody. I understand mechanics better than everybody. All right. Who drives stick? Who drives stick? Crash B's truck. I didn't crash. We all drive stick. Okay, that's good. his truck. His car was parked illegally on the side and then um my my car rubbed against his That's what happened. Rubbed. Yeah, I'm probably the best autopilot driver here. Oh, yeah. You do it all the time. So, I'll land it. You could just autopilot it. Anthony has more experience on what it's like to be a pilot. I think Bart should just manage people's emotions in the back. That's
11:49 Stop crying. Stop crying. That's amazing. Shut up. He's like, "We could die." We could die right now. We're all going to die one day. We're probably going to die. Yeah. As soon as Bar walks out, he would just get that whole oxygen mass thing to drop out unnecessarily. He's like, "Just in case, dude. That's scary." Fat people in the back. We need to weigh this thing down the right way. We have to distribute the weight. Do they um do they do that at all? Like if somebody who's like the equivalent of like four people, can they just sit anywhere on the plane? Dude, I hear all kinds of ████ Like when I on Spirit Airlines, like nobody moved cuz of weight distribution sometimes. And then sometimes they're like I'm like this is scary first of all, but then sometimes they don't they don't it's there's like they could give a ████ Plus, it's also like no, no, no. You can't have extra
12:39 weight in your carry-on. Put in your check bag. Right. Huh. It's a I don't I don't know about commercial, but they do for small flights. So, like we had like um we had to give our like weight when we were flying in the Cessna to check like the And then there they do have to see the weight distribution and who sits where. Mhm. Cuz that's my buddy my buddy plane all whatever. But I mean commercial that thing is like you're flying tons of metal in the air. Yeah. But that would be hilarious though if someone was like you too fat. Well, didn't I thought I saw something where like too fat to enter. I thought I saw something where they were like um attempting to weigh passengers for a thing and this lady was like that is ████ insulting. And she refused and made it. Yeah. She like said it was like discriminatory that they're weighing the passengers. It's not
13:29 though. It's it's a number, you know. That's how you end up falling out of a roller coaster, right? I don't know, man. Because when I fly uh Hawaiian, there's always some big ass Polynesians and they're just like sprinkled all over the airplane. And I'm like, I'm sure they don't weigh them. They're sprinkled all over. Also, it's distributed. Well, they don't know how much they weigh when they're booking the ticket though. Unless they just are racist and they just go by their names. That's true. Put them in the corner. Sounds the moment. But then if you're Hawaiian Airlines, you probably already knew going into it with what your pasture you choose your own seat. Oh yeah. I'm sure all the poly like don't all the island nations have like some of the biggest people like period. Yeah, for sure. So then all of their airlines are probably built for that. I know, right? It's like you're not going to, you know, go into the Hummer business thinking the seats should be small. You got to get those Rolls-Royce engines for that.
14:22 They are Rolls engines, right? I know my plane ████ dude. I can I can ████ about planes cuz I I know about the engines are Rolls-Royce. Planes have Rollsroyce engines. All of them. That's like it's like the gold standard in the industry. Wow. Which is weird, right? Cuz it's like Boeing, but then they use Rolls-Royce jets. Well, the dumb part then is that they buy such nice engines and then don't maintain them at all. Some a lot of times. Yeah. They're called Los. Remember when that Remember when that dock got leaked that like that none of these airlines were doing their checks for like Oh, and then they assassinated the Boeing dude. We talked about that like 2 years ago. Yeah, that was crazy. The fool got killed. He had a comment. Dude, you know what makes his mouth shut? Now that I know that it's all Rolls-Royce, I wish that the interior and the whole plane was Rolls-Royce cuz then they'd make it so much more
15:12 luxurious. Yeah. They they mostly focus on keeping our legs as close to the plastic as possible. Cuz if Rolls-Royce did it, if you look up, they would have made I feel bad for you though, Steve, cuz that's a different experience for you, man. I feel great. It's a rough one. I can fit in most seats. Actually, every flight I have, I'm just like feet straight up like this. My feet are dangling when I'm sitting on the airplane. Yeah, that's how much room I have. It's crazy. But Nikki's such a sweetie. She always gives me her seat if if she has like if I'm like a middle guy, she she always gives me a seat. Yeah, it's the best. But that's if you fly alone, you you're just rolling the dice on what you're going to get, who you going to be next to. Like if you're next to a guy that's your size. been there. Jeez. I could have sworn the extra preferred seating was normal seating and then they they changed the normal seating to be smaller. Yeah, that's what I Yeah. Yeah. They're going
16:02 to try to pack as many seats in there. Bigger. Maybe. I think Frontier they're getting smaller for sure. Maybe. Smaller and smaller. Yeah, cuz last time I was like this. Yeah. Legit. Yeah. And then and then I pressed the button to go back and then it went like this. When I was just Frontier to San Francisco, it was like this the whole way. The whole way. That's I mean times are tough, you know? They got That's like a diff. Yeah, that's what sucks, man. Like sweat shop boys are like sweat shop airplanes. Those are not built for your height and mind at all. I do be wondering how Spirit's making money though with $20 tickets. Well, they're going bankrupt every every 3 months. I hear they're going bankrupt again. It's wild. Maybe that's their racket, huh? I don't know. I mean, if there is something to gain from like like reporting almost going bankrupt, then of
16:53 course everybody would do that, right? I have no idea how it works. I think companies get to a size where like bankrupt is such a ████ great thing. You know what I mean? Like when when you get bought out or you get some kind of like you're you're able to take like massive risk, they don't have to pay debt. Yeah. There's like something there. Yeah. I don't know how it works, but it sounds like that's the way to go. But then they play a different game cuz they always get bailed out. They always get build. So they don't care. The worst thing you could do is report ████ gains. Yeah.
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