0:00 thank you [Music] welcome back to an episode of the careful boys today we have Colleen with us here's an interesting question that I wonder if anybody would know how to navigate this but I do if you're if you're attracted to someone over social media and you'd like to ask them out how do you achieve that without being creepy oh that was tough I feel like that's been most of how I date Joe's a master then okay how'd you do it without being creepy well either even if I meet them briefly in real life most of the chatting is on social media but let's say like then how do you cold chat someone that you like I say you've never even talked to them you just see their account and they're hot I want to know
0:51 me pursuing them and they're not pursuing me that doesn't even relate to anyone I first he's on another Universe no no no before YouTube okay believe it or not I dated okay I had girlfriends okay Ripley okay believe it or not this was okay there was Myspace there was and way before that there was find the picks oh yeah that's what I was on that remember find a pics because you could just rate whatever and then you can like get their email or I forgot exactly how it went down but you can chat with the person on Final you could get their aim or whatever right still not relatable to a lot of people okay Facebook we're moving further away Facebook yeah another tactic
1:42 thing like how do you cold chat someone that is not talking to you at all they're just a person on a page and you want to reach out that's the opener what's the hey believe it or not believe it or not okay on Instagram yeah this is this is no particular specific person but I think the easiest way is comment but don't be a ████ fan don't be a ████ weirdo be authentic so find like a picture okay right so if it's a post of a girl cooking what would you say damn look at that ass no like not that you could you could comment right you could like their pictures no but what I do is like if they if they if they visit your page and they like your photo they comment back then you know it's game on and then
2:32 you DM them whatever so that's your like Olive Branch yeah if they interact then there's a there's a there's there's an open door for you those are the rules of social media right you're saying though like what's uh or like dming you know you could sometimes directly DM yeah but like what is the deal I know all the platforms what's the actual words okay I'm trying to start from Basics yeah that people don't even know what to do okay yeah you're right you're right okay so like some guys or some guys all right so guys are just going [Music] um some guys they don't even know they don't even know proper and like
3:22 some guys they don't even know like all right they'll be my stupid younger self right yeah put it this way right um like let's say you're on a plane and there's a pretty girl walking by okay if she looks at you and you guys lock eyes and you give each other a quick smile my younger self would be like what a friendly person my older self would be like oh what's up and then I might say something because I feel like oh she she opened up a little bit Yeah okay versus back then would be like oh she's so friendly okay minding my own business she was pretty though damn I I wonder if she'll ever date me versus now I'm like oh okay that was a she recognized and there's a possibility we could have a conversation it might be that she's
4:13 friendly or it might be that uh she found me attractive so there's a different mentality right so see what that means same with Instagram it doesn't always mean that but I mean like some people they're they're like this some people they're like this because they don't want to ████ talk to anybody and you can feel it you can tell same thing with Instagram right you know they're not really open to have a conversation or anything get the ████ point versus oh okay this is like somewhere something that they're interested in maybe what I'm doing my you know my Adventures whatever like there's like you got to know like what's in their head too yeah reading the room a little bit exactly so read the room so it's like they don't even know that so first and foremost don't go straight to the ████ DM and just like profess your love to a complete stranger
5:04 that does work sometimes though yeah well you're come on you're playing with a different deck over there no no relatable guys all right first of all off the market just speaking hypotheticals here all right totally worthy anyways Vietnamese Harry Styles yeah oh that's a good one he's not um you know uh I got one one of the homies in Kansas uh I'm not gonna put his name on blast Charles um Charlie but man this guy the way this guy ████ just slides into DS and just throws them out there and and maybe it's a numbers game I don't ████ know how many no's go by and how many how many times it doesn't work do you know what he says your copies and paste all day long I feel like it's like very very direct it's not like hey let's go on a date
5:55 it's always like hey you have a nice smile but it's also very is that in the comments or is that in the DM DM or something like so it's like it's very uh forward but it's not that forward it's like it's still in a safe place I guess but the way this guy throws this kind of stuff out and it works I'm always I'm honestly like very impressed because not because he I don't think he deserves it but because I'm like wow that it works often and suddenly it's like oh yeah I'm going on a date with this person but you never did it uh dude honestly I was in the ████ Myspace area you know what I'm saying find a pic no I've been a long-term relation for a long time I don't feel like I got a chance to use social media like that oh you know what I'm saying but like that's why when I see it I'm very impressed because I didn't know how that ████ worked I was I was in the like where I think it doesn't
6:45 matter if it's social media it's just if you know how to talk or not yeah like everything is just like talking to someone at the bar or in person or at an airport or restaurant is the exact same thing and someone like like uh Charles I think if you know how to put like your intention forward but you're so secure with yourself the other person feels it yeah if you're like do you want to go on a date with me they're like I'll be like of course I really like to smile she put it you put it out there and then you're fine are you a dentist you know regardless you know why your question so hard I don't use pickup lines I don't go in with the intention of immediately wanting to ████ so like mentality that I have is I just have a genuine interest in people and if this is an interesting looking life that they have on Instagram then I'll comment on
7:36 it but then if she's just then I guess like the younger me would just care if she was pretty but now there's so many pretty girls so when I was single like it was like what's the bars what what's beyond that like you better be fun like you could be pretty as hell but you might just you better be fun beautiful but you better be fun that's actually kind of bad that's kind of fire and that's not really a neck it's actually a pretty funny thing because it puts a ball back at her Court her Court to respond to it yeah instead of just you're pretty fine you better be fun okay I say the difference is the younger the younger self the younger self would be asking for the younger self would be asking for approval
8:27 so that's the different mentality and approach the younger self is look is auditioning and looking for approval the older one is just like let's just talk who are you and then do We Vibe and oh yeah we don't okay anyone's looking to not waste time exactly and then the younger ones just looking for something pretty different you don't even know what you want uh so I think the DMS change and the conversation changes depending on what age you are based on what you get in your inboxes what's an example of somebody who could talk to you that you had never even seen this guy before that you were like actually interested a little bit um to continue it helps because we have mutual friends so you know in like Instagram sounds like followed by z um the conversations topic started off
9:19 of that person and not between us the bridge yes okay so that I think that helps just to like have a conversation or like a topic to talk about that isn't so geared towards my interest in you or how fun you are that's I think the best Yo that is such a mall opener back in the day yeah do you know Stacy you look so familiar so if you want to cold call someone on the DMS and you don't have mutual friends you got to be like oh my God like you look so familiar no no it does type so familiar so familiar like um you hang around blank spot right and then just try it out and see what happens that's happened a few times and it works right all the time
10:10 just because it's literally like I I just look at him like where are you gonna go from here like keep building the narrative it's the same for everything like everything like whether you're hiring someone making a friend networking and trying to find a significant other you just want to meet someone that's interesting right so it's the same one or like wait Elon Elon Musk it is me are you looking for an appointment like that's so weird right so that and and the girlfriend realm is the same thing like wait Stacy hey it's me Stacy yeah they just want to put out something you have to put out something that's interesting that makes the other person go okay this guy is interesting enough for me to I already have like my friends that I want to let someone new into my life and even start something new yeah right or you you cold call somebody and you text somebody you
11:00 go what do you bring to the table and just see just see what's up that's ████ hilarious what can you bring to me I think that's a big key thing is like finding a common interest or something in common yeah you can at least tap on because that happened to me with uh with a girl that I dated for a little bit um I didn't know who she was like we had no mutuals no nothing but we were following the same car pages on IG and like I would see her comments sometimes I just remember her because oh what's a pretty girl like that doing in these same car Pages come to find out we have the same car like we had the same like 79 and then uh and then we just started I think I talked to her and I was like what what are you doing when the car like that in her area because she lived in like a snowy part of Canada I was like how do you even drive that and then we just would talk about that first like
11:50 wait let me masturbate before I continue this conversation yeah and it wasn't like I never I never like straight up said like oh you're hot it was like months and months went by of us talking about other ████ yeah until like that's how it goes now yeah and then she was the first person to initiate some form of like hey that was a little flirt why did you say that yeah I'm like because she's probably like you ████ take too long man yeah ████ me already and then I was like why are you trying to ruin our friendship for it's like that and then you pull that same ████ and it's like okay but then again like some dudes some dudes were like super eager like can't really do that but also you may not even be genuinely interested in the same thing she is so then that's kind of a yeah I think there's a different approach if you're out there trying to bang a lot versus if you're trying to have relationships like the whole conversation is completely different
12:41 exactly and they can sense it I think it's so apparent when dudes are just trying to ████ yeah but guys are so stupid they think they're smooth and they say stupid things well I know it works both ways like I've seen I've seen homies in the uh I've seen homies in like the dating app space like a like a Tinder right and you know when somebody's on the market like sometimes they're out there to date and like look for Love sometimes they're just trying to have fun and like that ████ just happens like people be in the in the DMS right and it'll just be like oh you're just looking for some fun and people will just like be out that it's the same thing as literally just like hey I'm just trying to ████ real quick that's it one time transaction don't make it weird and that's just common you know what I mean so I just feel like the culture of sliding into people's games even by way of things like dating app because if you're already on the market you're already looking for things like this you're probably yeah you're familiar with it and I think that there
13:31 is an actual culture to it I know a bunch of dudes that actually get slid into the dams by chicks now that I never thought would have ever happened were like chicks making the first move he's talking about me yeah that probably helps if they have like some sort of foundation as far as their profile like yeah interactive value like like 30 million followers [Laughter] yeah like that's that's when that's happening but if you are just like a regular you know human being that just happens on social media platforms I think context is always helpful too right um outside of just like the uh the the thing in common or the bridge it's like even this ████ time stamps on when your messages go through you know what I mean there's a difference between texting somebody at like two in the morning versus like in the middle of the day you know what I mean the time zones
14:21 are replying every five seconds yeah or replying every five six or when it says like just seeing your messages but like you don't respond for like two days you know what I mean it happened to me so I sold something on OfferUp I sold like an Apple Watch and so the guy of Isaac comes he buys it cool like maybe like a five second exchange right 2 am he sends me a message on offer I can't stop thinking about you man through his Apple watch though you're hot you're testing the Apple watch for his girlfriend for her birthday oh he messages me yeah he messages me on offer up at like 2 A.M just like you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen I'm like what you should have just sought it out a little who knows where that would have gone I gave him a deal too because he's like
15:11 I'm buying it for my girl I'm like I don't even know want to even have a girl too I hope you don't have a girl because that's so ████ up he was gonna re-gift it to you he was gonna make you his girl cheers [Laughter] if he did that as a joke yeah I think that would be funny but if it was serious I'd be like when you got that message and you were like oh what a disgusting guy hold on you're like block you're like still got it part of you that was like damn I'm good like holy
16:02 that's right before I go to bed soon I'm like oh my God I slept extra well that night stopping in your eyes you're like I am that ████ a lot of girls on offer which sucks because they find out where you live bro if you're a girl you can't stop things on offer you gotta you gotta meet up at a gas station give it to me yeah I don't even like selling ████ on offering other people sell ████ on OfferUp cause I'm too lazy dude that sucks man other people know where I live but that's a good place to pick up women though yeah um I'm gonna start shopping it's a good place to re-gift
16:54 guys are always searching though that's such a funny thing so funny good sketch dude that's kind of brilliant yeah you see like an attractive person selling an item you're like yeah I'm gonna go buy this but just give it back to you and then like take her out on a date maybe something into your Apple watch this is so funny and random weird things have happened on offer up you know it's like what Craigslist it used to be yeah brain is going no I'm just like laughing at the idea of doing that to everybody like if you buy flowers on the roadside and you just give it back to that woman I got these for you as a seller that's great thank you so much because now she could sell it back again let's keep doing this exchange selling it to you over and over that's like those bar girls at the lounge
17:44 they're like you want to buy me a drink and it's like come on dude yeah what's the equivalent to women doing that to men when women are very clear and you can smell it they're just trying to use you for your table and or like for the alcohol that is all it's trashy to me but if you're like hella fine and I'm like lonely then like it's worth it I don't know if women even do that a lot because that doesn't happen to me very much where like a girl DMS me and it's just like being straight up how many guys doing you though you're ████ fine dude gay dudes whoa whoa guys I've had homies on Tinder where they're like talking to a girl and then it's like going well and then they'll be like all right we'll hang out I'll see you Thursday night at this place I can't wait to meet you cuckoo cool cool and then the message of the next day is like
18:34 hey uh I need to get a haircut and and my haircut's 300 could you send me that dude like that's that's that's really a guy running that account it could be it could be but if it happens pretty frequently maybe to my buddy yeah yeah yeah that's the thing it's like I think it's the cold the cold talk is probably the most challenging for a lot of people who are like lonely yeah because if you're it's the hardest for anything even if you've ever done like a telemarket or sales job it's just hard oh you know what if if you're lonely I think the first step before you start looking for love or something is just get friends yo community one of me for being basic that's what I was trying to tell people is there's steps to this ████ yeah you gotta like their picture before you ████ message them straight up and say I wanna ████ no
19:24 I don't think that's a good idea right like you can't yeah you're not gonna climb Mount Everest and the first time you want to go hiking right well you know even to to Bart's like cold calling analogy that's like a good point because cold calling anything is difficult until that's your only job yeah and you do it like 80 times you get desensitized to something and you get better at something dude yeah just look at Indian dudes on Instagram so you're not thinking about your failure you're just thinking about finding the success when I was a waiter right like my I used to hate I used to hate it no is that funny no I used to hate going up to tables I used to hate like making the intro like oh ████ like hi guys I'm Nick I'll be your server a little bit of Johnny Rockets you know server came over and didn't it like uh like I would I was pretty social like I had no problem talking to people but like I'd always hate to be
20:14 like oh ████ but then the more you do it over and over again it's like not a big thing probably because it feels fake from a conversation where it's again like you have Rapport or yeah when are you doing enough you find your voice yes and then you feel comfortable just talking to people about anything and anyone like could be a girl or a guy or whatever now there was this one waiter and he would always do this he'd pull up and he'd be like he'd pull up a chair to the table and he goes hey guys uh what can I get for you hey I'm Toby I'll be uh I'll be ready your your your table today uh what can I get and you make stupid things hey guys I'm Nick I'm Toby's A co-worker I don't need any uh shakes so Toby had to run out for a moment [Laughter] I need somebody to work with Toby I'd be like this ████ guy dude I was like nobody likes that I'll be talking yeah
21:05 everyone's like okay but it's also because it's not natural yeah because if people are really themselves people feel it and they'll actually like Toby some some guys could pull it up and they're like all right dude you just want tips bro get the ████ out of here foreign [Music]
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