0:00 Yo, you know what? It's on the house. And they're like, "Oh, my god, really?" You're like, "Yeah, I'm the owner, no big deal." Like No, no, NO, NO, NO, NO. HOLD ON. I CAN'T GIVE OUT A FREE DRINK. Like I have the power to do it. Like the other managers, they don't. >> It's too thirsty. It's too thirsty. Boom. Imagine this horrible disaster happens and whatever that is, you've ended up a single man at 40. How are you going to navigate the dating world of today? Give up. Start with just giving up. >> Yo, you know what? A lot of guys are taking taking that. Just give up. Like They're just opting out. They're just like, "Yo, I love my peace." And then there's like a whole movement of guys who are just like >> Yeah, like they're They don't hate women or nothing like that. I mean, there are that segment, but then But they're they're more like, "Yo, I just like chilling." And then like I don't want to play the field. I just play the games, video games. I got And then they show
0:51 their living room. It's just like a couch and a TV. >> But in a couple years >> I think that's them coping, to be honest. >> couple years, they're going to realize that they were wrong. I think. Cuz I feel like everybody wants somebody to ████ be with, you know what I mean? They're all looking for that life partner. You know, like And if you're a 40-year-old dude and you're single or maybe you just got divorced and you go through the stage of like you wanting to be alone, I feel like that's totally fine. That's like a healing thing. But I think once you come out the other side of that, which they eventually will What about you? What would you do if this was you? I would if I was coming out of a long relationship I just got divorced >> He can't imagine himself with anyone but I would literally just take a year off, bro, from like dating, just being by myself, maybe like a year and a half. And then, you know, your boy is going to start DMing everyone. Yeah. Everyone.
1:41 Yo, what's up? I'm single. It's Nick. I'm on the block now. >> You make it a DM group instead of a inbox. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, what's up? Which one of you lovely ladies want to go on a date with me? Why are we in a group? What's What's your What's your first move though as a dating like Like let's let's talk personally like you you as you. I stare at girls at the gym I want to talk to. That's the way you WOULD GO ABOUT SO SHE KNOWS I'M INTERESTED. >> Like Nick Dunn in today's dating world as a single man, where do you see yourself meeting somebody that you might connect with? Like what's the setting? Where would you possibly >> I think you would just have like if I'm starting from scratch, I think I would hop on the apps and just try to just do a bunch of dates and just run through a bunch of dates. >> I would probably do I would probably start with Instagram. Stealing someone's wife? No,
2:32 I I'd start with Instagram. I'll probably start with Instagram. What what would you do? Would you go through your inbox and see if anybody in the past hit you up? >> No, no, no. I would I wouldn't do that. I think I would do it where it's like >> Would you have a leopard thong and then have a muscle shoot and then be like, "I'm single, ready to mingle." I would be I think like um cuz I think one of the perks of online is you can fast forward and cut out the drag time. So like let's say if you're you go like, "Oh, you know what? They always tell you to go do more activities so you can meet more people." But like to go ████ bouldering or go to play pickleball, you have to drive and do all that stuff. There's a lot of drag time and I feel like with online, you can make friendships. And so I think what I would do, I would probably start
3:22 very platonic conversations and be just be way more open cuz you know like having married and committed life, I don't even like chicks photos at all. Even if they're my friends or whatever. I just try to do this is this is my straight this is my straight and narrow, right? But then I would be more I'll be more friendly and platonically friendly and then comment and then see what naturally comes out of there. You see your chick in a bikini or whatever and then Bart goes, "HOW'S YOUR DAY GOING?" CAN YOU IMAGINE PART OF THE COMMENTS? DUDE, to watch him Do you go to the beach a lot? DO YOU GO TO THE BEACH a lot? Is that why you're in a bikini? I go to the beach, too. Hey, how are you doing? It's the craziest You want to beach sometime? Hey, what's up? Honestly, you know what? My style would
4:13 probably >> wouldn't work though, I think. >> My style would probably be if there was a girl that was wearing a bikini that was like and I want to want to like talk to I'd probably find that bikini. I wear it. DM her that. And then in the comments I go, "Yo, check your DMs." That's probably That's probably what I would do. BECAUSE HONESTLY, THAT'S Bart in a nutshell. >> Cuz if they don't ████ around if they don't ████ around from the get-go, it's not going to work. >> Yeah. It's It's already not going to work. >> that's hilarious? They're in They're in a work. It'll work. But it'll Honestly, that'll stand out. People are throwing so much dumb ████ to girls. Like that'll stand out. >> Yeah, but if she's like, "What the ████ This guy's a creep." I'm I'm sorry, this is never going >> Yeah, sorry. Sorry. I was trying to be funny. Cuz that's the That's the tip of the iceberg. I'm sorry that you laughed. My bad. Do you want the bikini? It wasn't supposed to be creepy. >> anymore. It was mostly for laughs.
5:04 That is a That's a really really fun way to go about it. >> Or you just go on all your stories. Any girl, heart eyes, heart eyes, heart eyes, heart eyes. Wait, you wouldn't just go to Barbell and be like, "You know you still own this gym?" NO, NO, NO. OH, THAT'S GOOD. YOU YOU SHOULD just stand around girls at the gym and go, "I remember when this was just an empty old warehouse." In my 20s >> the lease on this place. In my 20s I probably totally would. In my 20s, I think I would go to That's so funny. He's touching the turf. He goes, "You know I laid this down myself." In my 20s, I think I would go to anywhere I had access to and probably try to like uh maximize my quantity there, right? Like shoot my shot everywhere at Barbell, shoot my shot everywhere at my jujitsu
5:54 spot. Shoot my shot >> crazy. Shoot my shot at Taika's school with all the single moms. In my 20s, I probably would, right? I'm assuming I had Taika at 20. But I think when you're 40, you you do care about peace so much. And then that concept of like not ████ where you eat or whatever, you don't want to disturb any places that are peaceful. You don't want to be Will's dad and ████ all your ████ now text. I think that's a big deal. >> huge deal. I can do this and if it doesn't work out, it ████ all of this up. Cuz it gets messy, dude. >> then you're and in your 40s, you're like you know how big the world is. I'm like, I don't have to shoot my shot at this one branch. Yeah. You know what I mean? >> But Braden's mom's giving ME THE EYES, THOUGH. But man, be having your own being part
6:44 of Barbell was such a funny just to walk around and go I'm surprised that held up through the years. Ask him what the Y I numbers in this place is. Yeah, I think you know what's funny? I actually think like God forbid, I mean this is a dream scenario. We break up with our wives. Yeah, he was a single 40s guy, you're off to a pretty good boost. Like You're cleaning up, dude. >> I think you would have a pretty easy time. Well, also I think you ████ crashed and burned so much through your 20s Yeah. that you have so much more like and you're more secure with who you are, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's the main thing. Yeah, it is, yeah. But it's so much more important to be like you have your health and money in your 40s because all the girls that dated artists that are now regretting it.
7:34 Cuz they're like with broke artists and they're like ████ All right, what would you do? Imagine you're single Joe and you still have Junbi. You have to find a girl while working at Junbi. >> To run it? Hey, you want to be my manager? Hit on customers at Junbi. If you had to. If you had to. >> Oh, we have a lot of hot customers. >> Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You got to like >> Cuz some Cuz the beach is right there. So, there's hella girls in just bikinis walking up. >> you break the ice from being a worker to like a man? Oh, dude. You know I actually own this place, right? I'm just kidding. I'll get you some extra free boba. Or Or you just go, "You know what? It's on the house." And they're like, "Oh my god, really?" You're like, "Yeah, I'm the owner. No big deal." Like >> I No, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. HOLD ON. I CAN'T GIVE OUT A FREE DRINK. You're like, "Ah, don't worry about it."
8:24 Like I can't give out I can't give out a free drink. That's too No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like I have the power to do it. Like the other managers, they don't. >> to give them an employee discount, though. >> You want some Miffy dolls? Or they're like, "You own the whole plaza?" >> It's too thirsty. It's too thirsty. >> No, no, no. Just a little little stint. What What's the hand signal that you're getting kidnapped? >> Oh, it's this with your When they come, you go like this. And it's just like, "Wait, what?" You're like And there's the worker back there. And like you need And it's like a teenager. Yeah, you need to be saved. You're like, "Save me." >> Take me out of here. SHE'S LIKE, "FROM HER?" Or Or but I feel like most people wouldn't know what that is. I don't know. They're like, "What the hell?" Sorry, I'm not deaf. >> Yeah, oh, I don't speak sign language. Is that the Big Trouble in Little China thing? Yeah, how do you do that? How do you How do you like start talking to a customer
9:14 so that it breaches over like, "Oh, this is just some guy that works here." Like how do you get that appeal going? Besides saying you own it. >> I I'll pretend like I work there. I I don't know. I just If she leaves me like a lowlife, I don't care. You know, um one one thing I would do is like ask the standard questions so she doesn't think like it's a special like creepy thing for her. Cuz most people be like, "Oh, how's your day going?" Yeah. It's actually the easiest to hit on a customer cuz they're right in front of you, right? And then you're like, "How's your day going?" Oh, cool. "You guys tried any, like, good restaurants around here?" Oh, ████ I know a ████ really good place. And then this and then like, "Oh, you like you just served?" Cool. Then just talk to them. You hear what they've been doing. You'll be like, "I I should I have And then you pull out your phone. >> When do you hit them with the big questions? No, you hit them You pull out with the phone, right? So, then if you
10:04 already have your phone out and you're showing them activities, be like, "I could take you to this. My friend owns this boat." Oh. See, Joe's Joe's a smooth one. And then, cuz my buddy does own Oh, you've been snorkeling? Cool. Now, we could go out for free. Let's go. And then when you're on the boat my friend goes, "Yo, how's the store been?" Oh, it's all right. "Oh, you actually own the place?" >> Takes that long? OH MY ████ GOD. IT'S THE PAYOFF, THOUGH, DUDE. It's the payoff. I'm humble. I don't ████ go and be like, "Actually, I'mma give you 15% off cuz I own the place." >> No, you got to Tell them from the top, dude. Joe's the smooth type. I'm saying that's the best kind of guy, though, dude. But I think Joe's the smooth type where it's it's like that where it's so natural and organic, you're on a date, you don't even know. And then before you know it, it's it's too long to swim to shore.
10:54 You have to say you like him now. And he's like, "Guess what? It's a date." And you're stuck here on the boat. No, I'm the guy that was like, "That was a good date." She goes, "We didn't have a date. You're just my friend." And I'm like, "F███." Yeah. Go home, change your Facebook status. Hey, what the ████ What? >> It's complicated. In a relationship. Cuz I think I'm I'm more gimmicky. Yeah. I would probably have like a clipboard with a paper. I'm like, "Hey, for today, limited time only, uh we're doing hot girl surveys." Uh can you I would I'll make it like this weird thing. And I she's taking the survey she realized I'm just hitting on her through the survey. But then it's obviously not even part of Juvia or whatever, you know. >> How many pronouns do you have? You have a lot of pronouns, though. I can't let her see the other ones. You can't be too available. >> Nick, you're single, you're you're your age, you have to hit on a girl at the gym.
11:45 Dude, I can't. You have to. I can't ████ where I eat. Okay, how about this? How about How about she's outside on the sidewalk and then it looks like she's lost. She couldn't find what she's Where's Sarkis Pastry at? Yeah. And you're like, damn, she's cute. >> Yeah, she's I got Hey hey uh do you do you need help with anything or Do you Do you like need help or Yeah, I'm looking for a ████ Tour de Tours. Oh, I yeah, I don't I don't know where that is, actually. Um hold on, give me a second. I got my phone. >> Yeah, you got Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pull out your phone. >> I go, hey. Um Make sure you clear your cookies so you don't she doesn't see the porn. He go, hey, I found out where it is, but it's it's a 5-minute drive. I'll take you. Damn, so aggressive. >> Yeah, I go, I'll take you. I'll take you right now. And she goes, she'll probably say something like, oh, no, it's okay. It's okay. Like, I'll
12:35 I'll I'll walk. I'll figure it out. And I say, no, let me take you. Let me take you. >> Showing confidence. Yeah, girl wants you to take charge. And I think that's kind of the dynamic I want to set up up front because I think a lot of people see me as a goofy guy. So, if I come out as a strong silent type, I think that'll be good for me. Is that Why are It's pretty cool. You think that doesn't work or or is it just creepy? You're making it sound creepier than it is. Really? I think that's how I would have to start. And I think that's what people think about. They think about they'll have great ideas like Bart and Joe off the jump. But when you first start, you're going to ████ cuz I'm going to feel nervous. My heart's going to be beating out of my chest. >> Isn't the best way to just tell girls that they're doing their like set wrong and then you got it like your reps all
13:25 off, your form's ████ up, and then you got to correct them. You just go spot them. You just spot them whenever they need help. Squatting, you just go right behind. >> Woah, woah, WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, THAT WAS TOTALLY WRONG. >> That's what you do. Um, ████ dude. This is bad because I really don't know how to flirt with girls, I think. Or another one is when they're doing pull-ups, you grab their foot on the bottom and put the put their face on you put your face on her ████ and then push them up like this. That's one way. Yeah, that's one way. >> You go like this, you help them. Good thing I won't be confident enough to do that. That's how you That's how you end up dating. She's like, "Pull it up." And then She's like, "Well, I could do way more now. Do you want to go on a Do you want to get some coffee later?" AND YOU GO LIKE, "I GOT YOU." SHE'S LIKE, DOESN'T even need the help, but it's like the support. She goes, "You're thoughtful." Right after, she's like, "What are we?" Based on the scenario you gave me, I don't think I'm good in a random scenario like that. In a a random scenario? I don't think I'll be good in
14:15 Maybe you're like one of those that's like uh you feel more comfortable when it's like friends of friends of friends type of Like someone already co-signed in the group. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think um initially when I meet somebody, I'm not good at small talk. Not really good at small talk. I got one for you. It doesn't require any talking, right? So, like, just have a friend like be ready when you see a hot girl and then they'll throw a turtle like there and then you come back and it and then you're like, "Oh my god, I got to rescue this turtle. I wish someone would help me carry it." And then it's in front of the girl, too, so she goes like, "Oh, I'll help you." And then like you both carry the turtle. >> Pull out some romaine lettuce for it? Just have it on hand. Well, if it was Hawaii, it's a sea turtle that needs to go back to the ocean. Dude, you go to jail if you touch it.
15:05 >> No, but you're saving it, so that's the Oh, that's the caveat? >> Yeah, yeah, that's the caveat. I thought you just can't touch it. >> I I thought that, too. Okay. >> Yeah, but if if if it needs to be if it needs to be rescued I get arrested for this hot chick? You have to, right? Yeah. So, like, well, in your case, it's a tortoise, a desert tortoise cuz you live in the desert. >> Yeah, for sure. Makes sense. Bring the tortoise. Get a tortoise. You just got to have a friend to help you. Like cuz if you're not a good small talker, then you're like there to help. What if they're like this, "Hey, I have a hard time like saying what I really want to say. I have a sock puppet that says what I want to say." Do you bring him out? "Hi, do you like juice?" Oh, that's a great icebreaker. Oh my god, that's probably top five ways to get arrested. Pull out a ████ sock puppet, dude. Talk about worst first impression ever. Sock puppet. And it's like it's like uh
15:57 really Chinese and stereotypical. Like really racist. And you go, "Oh, hello. I would like to take you on date." 6 million.
// end of tape