0:00 It was never like an obstacle. It's just how do we get around this obstacle? And I feel like that resourcefulness I took a lot from her. >> And she found the time to still like track you down at school if you had hair gel. >> [laughter] >> Some ████ somehow somehow she still did that. That's crazy. >> You can't get hair [laughter] gel. Welcome back to Care for Boys. Today we force Bart to say nice things about his mom for 15 minutes. >> [laughter] >> What the hell? >> Usually we go the other way. >> Okay. >> Yep. >> I do have some nice things to say about her. >> All right. >> She's very determined. >> [laughter] >> Still mean, still mean. >> Yeah, you can't do you can't do backhanded ones, man. >> What do you mean? No, she's really >> That's double entendre. >> You have to say like like there's no way to spin the compliment. >> Like what did you learn from your mom that like was good for you?
0:51 >> Determination and relentlessness. >> [laughter] >> And to never give up on beating your son. >> [laughter] >> Like I've never seen her take no for an answer. And she's always good at chipping at something until something ends up her way. >> Wow. >> So like I think in terms of the what I took from that is and I feel like I do have this attitude towards things which is helpful. Which is you just keep Uh people will say like they'll see wins and losses and usually when they see a loss they kind of like oh, make a left turn or right turn. I just see that you just keep losing until you win. And then so you can just So I think I have pretty thick skin because of that. And uh I think I have my mom to thank for that. And then the other one I think the the
1:42 biggest one I took from her is growing up with her like although it was it was weird um to have roommates um and have all these strangers in the house. The biggest thing that I took away from that was when my parents got divorced and my mom had the house and she had to carry the mortgage. Instead of doing the thing what most people would have done, which is like like sell the house, downsize, whatever. Like let me live within my means. >> Yeah. >> For her, she's like, "No, the house is an asset. What can I do to maintain this asset?" And then so I would go with her every week cuz it's before you don't have websites as a kid. So we would go to the Asian supermarket cuz she's looking for roommates that speak her language. Then we would make like those papers like, "Hey, looking for a roommate." And you would write your phone number and you cut them into like little Yeah, tear it off into those little strips. And we would go every single uh weekend if we didn't have a roommate. And most of the time we don't
2:33 because there's three rooms. So one of them will probably be like about to be vacant soon or whatever. And just seeing how she always made that work. Or um I'm she was a single mom, but I also still had extracurriculars like kung fu whatever. And so she would always figure out a way that I can either carpool with someone else there or she'll make friends to like network and just like always seeing for her like she never really had an uh there was never like an obstacle. It's just how do we get around this obstacle? And I feel like that resourcefulness I took a lot from her. >> And she found the time to still like track you down at school if you had hair gel. >> Some ████ somehow >> [laughter] >> somehow she still did that. That's crazy. >> You get hair gel. >> Holy cow, man. She should have been like CIA. >> Yeah, for sure. >> By the time I was in fourth fifth grade,
3:23 I already got kicked out of two other schools. So now I'm going to this school on the other side of town. Which is like opposite to the side of where she needs to go to work, which is San Pedro. So she found out that one of her coworkers lives across the street from that school. So I ended up uh she would drop me off at the coworker's house so then I could just walk with those kids to school. But she always found a way to make every single thing work. >> Yeah. Like it would it it was crazy to see her always just get creative and and um like even with I think the first taste that I had in um I guess like semi real estate would be like when I got out of the military when I was 18 or 19 uh me and my dad were fighting every single day. We just butt heads like we just don't get along and um
4:13 and I was like, "You know what? Me and my other buddy, we're just going to ████ move out cuz we both had GI bills. So we're like, "We'll use the GI bill. That'll pay for the rent. I'll get a part-time job or whatever." And then my mom's like, "Part-time job? Why would you ever use your real uh your your GI bill and just have it go down the drain?" She's like "What we should get a house. And then you just pay me the mortgage and your your guys's GI bills will cover the mortgage." And I was like, "What the f███?" Like she always thought big picture. >> That's sick. So your mom was the more financially savvy out of the two be between your dad and your mom? >> Yeah. And that's how we got 619. Like she's a single mom on like single income. There's no way she could really own another house. But because she was like, "Wait, if you are going to get another place anyways why don't I get the I have enough money for a down
5:03 payment. But then you guys just pay the mortgage." And that was the house that like JK was born at and all >> Wow. Dang. >> Yeah. I always just saw her like kind of like make ████ work like that. That's dope. >> Yeah. So she's very resourceful. >> She house hacked it into three different units. >> How did she house hack it? >> Uh I lived in the garage. And then Bart lived in the front and a gay ass Filipino man lived in the front. >> I don't remember living there. >> [laughter] >> He had a daughter. >> It was a a two bedroom house that she added another two bedrooms to. >> Uh-huh. >> And then uh then she built the garage in the back. She converted that to a single bedroom. And then she built this drywall up so that she can rent it into like a duplex in the front and then unit >> So she literally split it. >> She split the whole thing. So, now this current property, which she still has, makes like
5:54 maybe like five or six grand a month. >> It makes five or six grand a month? >> a long-term rental, because it's technically three properties. So, it'd be like 2,500, 2,500, 1,000. >> Holy ████ >> Why don't you talk about this instead of what a ████ she is? >> [laughter] >> I GUESS I SHOULD START TALKING about it now. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, but a lot of that helped me like really like think about like all the shady scholarships that I applied for. It helped me like always think >> Wow, that's cool. >> and like how do you how do you get after what you want in creative ways? Or like Do you know the story about when I failed my organic chemistry test? So, like uh organic chemistry, like if you're a science major, you have to take that class. And it's the one that everyone dreads, no matter if you're bio, >> Yep, it's terrible. My sister hated it. >> Exactly. Bio, chem, physics, doesn't matter. It's the hardest ████ class
6:47 you can take. >> My sister's a bio major, by the way, so she knows. >> Yeah, if you're if you're in the sciences, it's the one that everyone dreads. >> Okay. >> It's ████ hard. Um there's O-chem 1, O-chem 2. When I was on O-chem 2, I would study my ████ ass off, and I actually did really good. Like my first three tests, they all got A's. And I sat in the front. Like I already fixed my my my study habits and all that. To study for our final, um they're like think uh think the the final are molecular essays. So, it's like putting two molecules together, and you have to write an equation of how like ████ this carbon molecule adds that with through whatever, add heat. It's crazy. It's like crazy ████ And uh I was like, "Okay, I'm going to nail this thing. I'm going to get an A in O-chem. I'm going to ████ crush it." But because I pulled an all-nighter, my mind blanked. And it was something that I knew I had
7:38 down. >> Oh, that sucks. >> "F███." And that molecular essay was worth 50% of the >> Damn. >> test. So, even if I got everything else right, I would have gotten, I think, a B or a C, which would have taken down the average of all my other tests. I didn't know what to do, and I was like, "You know what? I'm just going to write the professor a letter on this molecular essay." So, I remember I wrote like, uh "Dear Dr. Ruiz or Ramirez, whatever." And I was like, uh "You know that every single test I got an A. I sat in the front of the class. I really pay attention. I go to all your office hours, blah blah blah blah blah. For some reason, my mind blanked, and I swear to ████ god, I know the answer to this. I just don't know it now. I I hope you can take all my other past performance into consideration in giving me my final grade." And I turned that in. And I think I was taught that by my mom.
8:28 Cuz you know, like, most people would just be like, "F███." Like, the test is the test, right? >> The L Z L. >> Yeah, but for me, I'm like, the test is actually only a way to communicate to the teacher how much I know. So, I could communicate the subject matter, or I can communicate my performance or whatever. And I'm like, "I'm going to communicate my performance." And I remember I turned it in, and then it was one of those when like the college would announce your grade on the website. And I'm like, "Holy ████ I hope I don't get a ████ B. I tried my ████ ass off." And I looked, and it said, "A." I'm like, "Oh ████ it ████ worked. That thing ████ worked." >> So, you learned how to ████ from your mom. >> I guess so. But I really knew it though. Like, you know, I I really And I really had A's on all the tests. >> Obviously, there was like evidence that you don't you're not just doing this to be a ████ liar. >> given me >> He obviously bought it, yeah. >> Yeah, or he wouldn't have given me a a But that's like probably one of the biggest lessons from my mom is always
9:19 like how to like work the system and >> Cuz that it would take something special for you to think that ballsy move would work. >> Yeah. >> [laughter] >> Like, I was >> Or was it a Hail Mary for you, or >> It was a Hail Mary, too. >> Yeah. >> Hail Mary. But I think most people would have just been like, >> Left it blank, yeah. >> ████ I ████ up. >> had a blank nothing there. >> I would have. I'm too Catholic and guilty. I'd have been like, I deserve it. I should ████ put it around my neck and walk, you know, through the desert, brother. >> Damn, that's a big ass move to do. >> That's really good. >> Yeah, my mom taught me that. >> Lillian Brand tactics. >> Yeah. >> The ultimate tester. >> Well, now you have five more minutes to talk about your mom in a nice way. >> What else is awesome? >> No, I'm kidding. Anybody else have nice things that you learned from your moms or or dads? >> Mhm. >> Everyone else hates their moms here, too. It's not just me. >> [laughter] >> I think work ethic >> Mhm. >> for my mom, it's like, dude, when it
10:09 comes down to seeing how much 6:00 a.m. go out, work, and then like just uh I've never heard her complain. No matter how tough life got, like and then that's why I think when I see like when people's like their families are complaining and like they can't handle discomfort, I just look at them so pathetically. I'm like, dude, you guys suck. Like and I and then actually makes me feel better about my like household of like how awesome my mom was to like um not put her burdens on me. And I see that a lot where adults will like openly talk about their struggles and ████ around their kids. And I was like, damn, like they don't they're too young to like know some of this ████ right? And then so I think things were probably tough, but like she just powered through and then made sure
11:00 like we could still have fun even though things got tough. And I mean that's the cool thing is she didn't stay very um she's very optimistic and she didn't she never stayed like depressed. You know what I mean? Like some people they get really like pissed off with the smallest ████ But for her, she'll get pissed real quick and then later on she's like, you know what? There's this new restaurant in town. We should go check that place out. And then like we'll go, we'll have dinner, and then we'll talk about other ████ So she was really good at just like >> distracting. >> Yeah. Focusing on better topics. You know what I mean? And then so my mind was like not always focused on such s█████ life things and it was just like, yeah, that happened. Okay, move on. Think about this. Think about that. And she's like, life's too short. You don't have to think about that. So I was like, that's a that's a pretty cool mentality to have cuz then it's like teaching me at an early age, you can choose like
11:52 what you think about. And then people like ruminate and complain a lot around me. I'm like, I don't like you. I don't want you to be around me. It's too much. Like it's too negative and it's almost like you're weak cuz you don't know how to like shift your focus anywhere else and that's what you choose to be addicted to thinking about. And then I think that's I was never around it. So I'm probably like even more um sensitive to that kind of personality trait. Yeah. >> I think that made you hell of resilient. Having known you for a long time, like you're one of the more resilient people I know. You both are. But like that that makes so much sense hearing that. >> Of like why I think the way I do? >> Yeah. Cuz you can like go through a lot and you can still be like one of the funner dudes to be around. You know what I mean? Like and I think that only comes from one place. It's like somebody who taught you to shift your perspective in real time. >> I think I really owe that optimism to
12:44 her. >> That's sick. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, well my mom is a tough ass broad. Uh very quickly, obviously I've talked about this before but there was a like guy who was like a diddler in my neighborhood. She put a bunch of flyers around >> That's on I love that, dude. >> my whole neighborhood and I'm talking about not just my neighborhood, Carriage Park Road in Virginia. She put it all over the damn place where it made the news and then the ACLU wanted to sue my family and my mom was still like, ████ them. Like I'm protecting my kids and I'm protecting my neighbors' kids who already got diddled by this guy like in a life changing altering way. So uh and my mom to this day forgets how strong she is and I I want to remind her of that cuz that's who she is to me. Like you just that just doesn't go away, you know. Women become like Superman when it comes to their kids though. Like they never protect themselves, but
13:35 when it's like my kids no ████ that ████ and the Hulk comes out. Yeah man. No it's like that it's like that meme about how moms get that crazy ████ strength out of nowhere if something happens to their kids they can lift a car up. I think that's what she did there but it was mentally. Well that's crazy cuz she's putting your guys whole family at risk being sued by the ACLU of all things. That's insane and she's just like I don't care. Yeah, didn't care. Yeah she was like test me test me. That's so cool man. She's a badass man.
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