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I Dropped Money and Accidentally Said It Wasn't Mine

#ticktick#stall#boomboom#counter#restroom
the transcript auto-captions · entered into evidence

0:00 All right, I'm going to tell you guys a story. This happened to me about a week and a half ago. I was at With Love Always over down by the bend. Delicious burgers. I had a nice seat by the stools. You know, like on the you know the high chairs. >> Yeah. >> The way when there's like Oh, like the counter. >> Yeah, I was at the counter. And uh so what happened is I'm sitting there enjoying my wonderful uh >> SOB >> burger. SOB double patty. And uh this girl comes up and she goes, "Oh, I think you dropped some money." And I look down and there's like a ton of cash just next to the stool. And I was like, "Oh, ████ That's That's that guy that was sitting next to me a moment ago that left." And she's like, "Oh, okay." So she put it on the counter and then the the workers took it and they were like, "Oh, hopefully he'll probably come back for it." So they uh take the cash and they're just like they put it on the counter

0:52 uh closer to the service window, like away from people. >> Yeah. >> And I'm just [snorts] like, "Oh, I hope that ████ guy comes back. That sucks. It looked like it was it was like a good amount of money." >> Yeah. >> Uh like a wad of 20s. And I'm sitting there and I'm you know finishing the rest of my meal. I ████ realize that's my money. >> Shut the ████ up. >> Because [clears throat] I thought I was only holding hundreds cuz that's what I pulled out, but I forgot that I spent 20 bucks to get into the ████ jam. You know, the the B-boy jam that over at uh So I was like, "That's my $80." And I just said it was someone else's. >> And then if you come back like, "Uh it was mine." They're going to be like, "This guy's ████ nuts." >> Yeah, I'm going to look like a creep. Like if I go, "That's my money." >> Ah. >> So I'm sitting there at the counter staring at my $80 in 20s. And all I'm hearing them they're just walking back and forth going, "I hope he comes back. Hope that guy comes back."

1:42 [laughter] >> They're hoping. >> I'm just staring at it and I'm like, "I really ████ up." I'm like cuz I'm the I'm the kind of person where I have no guts at these moments. I almost I could have left. >> Yeah, yeah. >> I could have spent 80 duck dollars on nothing. Cuz I was that embarrassed to be like, "Actually, now that I think about it." >> Well, did you have your receipt from pulling it out? >> No, I didn't have nothing cuz it was just like a cash thing. I just They just gave me 80 bucks in cash at the event I came from. So, it wasn't There was no like proof and I was acting like a good Samaritan minutes ago. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> So, I'm >> Like this guy's bipolar. >> So, dude, it took me so long to muster up the courage to where I finally went So, this is what I thought of. Okay, this is the best solution I could think of. Shave your beard. Because it was a Cuz it was all Shave my [laughter] beard and come back

2:32 >> Hey, it's me. I'm the guy that left the $80 here earlier. >> [laughter] >> Somebody got I SEE SOME CASH ON THE GROUND. NO, IT UH >> YOU COULD HAVE PULLED IT OFF, I THINK. >> DUDE, I thought of every possible scenario to to avoid embarrassment. The best I could do. So, it's all wadded up, right? Like in a ████ And this is the reason I made a move. I I originally, to be ████ honest, I was just going to leave cuz I was so embarrassed. Which is nuts. 80 bucks. >> Imagine the person you that picked it up, you told it to. She's like, "I could have swore he dropped it." >> Yeah. >> I don't know why he said someone else says, [clears throat] "Okay." >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. She must have thought I was crazy two different ways. Yeah, so I'm like I'm like, "Okay, um I wasn't going to say anything, but I heard them say, 'We're just going to put it in the safe for now.'"

3:22 Uh because they didn't know whose it was cuz I would I've been waiting so ████ My food's been done. I'm just sitting there going >> [laughter] >> And then so Yeah, and it's So, what I did at that point, I go, "So, it's it's wadded up. Looks like ████ nothing. There's no way to tell what amount it is." I go, "Excuse me. >> [snorts] >> Is that $80 exactly?" >> [laughter] >> That's good, though. That's good. >> She goes the worker at We Love Always goes, "Uh I don't know. Let me check." And I go, "If that's $80 exactly to the dollar, I dropped it. And I'm very sorry cuz I didn't think it was mine. Yeah, and then so she looks through it and she's like, "Yeah, it's $80 exactly." And I'm like, >> [laughter] >> Who would have thought? >> I'm sorry. And she gave it to me and I was like, What other ways could I have gone about that? Like, >> I think maybe if you just told her the truth.

4:12 >> Yeah. Like if you're like, "Hey, >> Does the truth sound truthful? >> I think at that I think it doesn't matter though. >> Yeah, it sounds shady. >> matter cuz I think it's it doesn't matter. >> It's how you say >> Did I do it Does that the best thing? That's the best. >> It's it's how you speak and how you talk how you carry yourself. >> Plus if you end like this, >> [laughter] >> Like yeah, I think that's the best. >> over 90 degrees. I felt so embarrassed because the girl who told me that I dropped it was right behind me still. She was still there so she heard me do this whole thing, too. So I don't know, she probably thinks I'm lying, too. >> No, but that's what Yes, I understand but that's why the magic of being It's like guessing the jelly beans in the jar. Like you knew it was exactly 80 and it's wad it up. That's guaranteed the best. However, if also, let's say you waited like 30 minutes for no reason. >> staring a long time. It could have looked like I was counting it. >> You were counting [laughter] the whole time. >> looked like I was counting it. >> Like you also could have just been like like actually,

5:02 this sounds weird, that's actually mine. I'm pretty sure it was this reason is mine. >> Yeah. >> But Anthony's a sex haver and then the girl would have been like, "Here's also my number." >> [laughter] >> Here's 80 more dollars. >> Where's my dude? >> Yeah, I don't want to overdo the charisma. >> I think okay, I'll say this. If >> [laughter] >> If I was in your situation, >> Yes, tell me each of you how you would do this. >> She probably would have thought I was lying because every time I feel like I have to explain myself, I ████ up initially. I >> I feel like I'm lying anytime I'm like >> up hey uh the thing about and then they immediately think I'm unreliable. >> When I hand my ID to get into a club, I'm shaking already. It looks like a fake ID cuz I'm going like this. >> Yeah, I'm like that, too. >> I think they won't believe me. >> So how would you have done it? How would you got the money? >> I would have probably went up >> Can't do my way. You got to do your own. >> I would have been like, "Hey, sorry. I just was at a B-boy jam and it was $20.

5:54 I paid with the 80. I paid with 100 and that's the reason why it's 80. I'm sorry. I forgot about it. Like, can I have it can I have my money back? You know, I'd probably do something like that. And I'd do it in that style. >> Like you're in pain? >> Yeah, like a little like, "Uh, you know." >> I'm going to give I'm going to give that kind of a guy 80 bucks. >> to give it cuz you feel bad for >> You're right, but I can't >> That's all he's got. >> you're right. That is better. I can't do that execution though. >> I'm sorry. But, that's how I would do it. I'm very But, I think the way you set it straight up was very like, you know, it was >> That's why I thought maybe the proof is I know the exact amount. >> Yeah, that's good proof. That's good proof. >> All right, Anthony, what would you do? You can't use mine or Nick's Nick's tactic. >> said just tell the truth. >> You got to ask her out on a date, I think. You have to ask her out on a date. That's the only way you get them >> Oh, use charisma? >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> What the ████

6:45 >> Mac the dollars back to your pocket? [laughter] >> I think to me to me my nervousness builds with more time. >> Yeah. >> So, I think I have to quickly go for it because I just know myself. If I wait another 10 minutes >> You're stewing. >> Straight up say, "Actually, that's mine. My bad." >> Yeah. >> Because no matter what, that's going to suck. But, also sitting there for 20 more minutes about how it's not going to suck as much. That's my mistake. That's where I ████ up. >> Also just the same Yeah, that's just sucking, too. >> I ████ up. >> Yeah, why were you just staring at it? >> Cuz I was trying to think I was concentrating. I was like, "How do I do this? My phone's going off, not picking it up. I'm just going >> Like I think it's more sus. Like, imagine it's like, "Hey, dude, that guy's food's been done for a while." >> I've never been in that situation where I accidentally tried to good Samaritan my own ████ money and it's sitting right over there. >> Yeah. >> To me, this is like when I told you guys that like I accidentally took a ████ in Caesar's Palace forums in the women's restroom. >> [laughter] >> Right? Because nobody was in there. I

7:36 had to take I HAD TO >> BUT, THAT'S normal though. That's okay. >> know when when hits you like out of no >> But a single stall or like a >> Single stall single I mean no no no no no. It was a bathroom. It was a bathroom. So like but like >> No, there there was another family in there. >> I rushed in. I could point out exactly where this restroom is. It's confusing because the men's the entrance in bathroom in general is huge, but >> Is it the one next to Hell's Kitchen? >> No no, it's inside by the phone shops. Uh anyways, I I I run in cuz it hits me bad. And there's nobody in there, so I I'm just hurrying. I was like, "Dude, these are really nice vanity mirrors, by the way." And but I'm hurrying, right? And then I sit down in the stall, [clears throat] and then I'm unloading. And then speaking of unloading, it it sounds like a bus of women un- suddenly unloaded into the restroom. >> Yeah, a show got out. >> Yeah, and it was like a boom boom boom. All stalls boom boom boom. People are talking and ████ Like tick tick tick [laughter] tick tick. With these high heels, and I was like

8:26 And immediately I like pulled up my feet. >> Yeah, they're like, "Who's Who's that in stall number one with size 15 feet?" >> [laughter] >> But the thing is, it's same thing. It's like my my my old dance team were with me. We're out here for HHI's back in the day. Well, everybody's trying to call me cuz I'm they're like taking a 30-minute ████ but really my ████ was like 6 minutes. I'm just sweating, trying to be like maybe there's a quiet moment I can go out. Maybe there's another hopeful moment that nobody's here at the exact same time, but I can't tell. >> Yeah. >> Cuz I'm in a stall. So I finally go, "F███ it." I I go out. I see a bunch of people in the kind of like the washing area this lot. All the women are looking at mirrors are all sudden Yeah, all chicks are sounding like And I'm just like, "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I'm so sorry." And I just I just go, and I don't look back for a long time. >> though. >> No, you should have just started speaking like Chinese or something. >> What? >> To make all of Chinese people even

9:16 worse? [laughter] >> Sell out your race, dude. >> Yeah, I'm not going to sell out a country. >> After you already spoke perfect English? >> Stains are balanced. Even my friends were like, "What happened?" I didn't talk to them. I walked another like quarter mile before I felt like it was okay to turn around. Created some distance. Yeah. And then after that, I really realized I'm like I It was going to suck either way, but maybe 20 minutes earlier would have sucked 20 minutes less. >> Yeah. >> Oh, yeah. There's no way you could have Yeah. There's no win. >> have suffered. >> There's no win. It's just the suffering now or like what's, you know? >> Yeah. >> Ladies' bathrooms are never empty, either. They're always full. >> empty and when I went in it was so empty. >> That was an anomaly, dude. >> You know, nobody was Nobody was like, "Hey, there's a guy taking a ████ in that stall." >> Yeah. >> How would Well, the other way around like if Bree, if you went to take a ████ in a guy's restroom, you don't need to hide. Guys don't even care. >> No.

10:06 >> Guys don't give a ████ >> Don't do it in my bathroom. I'll beat your ass, dude. [laughter] >> How would you have gotten your money back in my situation? >> Um I would have pulled out your money that you had on your cell. >> My whole total money? >> Yeah. And I would have been like, "Oh my god, you're right. It was mine." to the girl. >> Damn, that that easy? >> Yeah. And then And then be like, "I'm so stupid. It actually is mine." Go up to the counter. At least she knows that you're not trying to pull anything. >> Or you just keep going, "I'm a ████ dumbass." >> Or Or just stare Or just stare at it for the rest of the day. >> I thought you were going to say pull out my money and try to buy my money back. >> [laughter] >> No. >> Look at the barcode. Look at the barcode. Does it match? How would you have done it, Bart? Using your actual Bart brain? >> I think my actual Bart brain I probably I would describe the situation because I think that makes it either

10:56 myself feel better. I'm like, "Hey, this This is going to come off really crazy, but I just realized that money is actually my money." So, I would like you know, kind of describe it. And then maybe go like, "If you don't believe me, check the cameras." >> [laughter] >> That's a good one. That's a good one. Put in that option. >> But I'm going to try to go like, like "I don't care if you examine the evidence or the proof. Like it'll be in my favor and I'm not I'm not embarrassed to like to admit that I'm I was dumb in by doing it." >> Or you say, "I swear to god I'm not lying." >> No, but like maybe just even 5 years ago >> Yeah. >> I probably would just kiss the 80 bucks goodbye. >> [laughter] >> That's where I was a little bit. >> "Oh, ████ I'll just I just won't make this mistake again." >> [laughter] >> I deserve this mistake and you leave out. >> In any world would you have left 80

11:46 bucks on the table like that? Would you have been like Is it Would anything make you be like 80 bucks is worth the embarrassment? Or would you do anything to get it back? >> [snorts] >> And let's say you just smashed two windshields. >> [laughter] >> The front and the back one. >> Well, you say I'm taking that 80 back. I'm Even if it's not my windshield the girl's like, "Is this yours?" I'd be like, "Yeah." >> [laughter] >> Oh, you found my $80. >> I'm I'm creating distance again. >> [laughter] >> Damn. Well, let me know if I These are all the best possible scenarios that you could think of. If you got something better than that, please put it in the comments below. I think each of us handled it pretty well, but I'm sure there's a perfect method that we don't know about. Let us know.

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