0:00 [Music] there is a company that is willing to offer more than six thousand dollars if you will smell dog ████ for two months hell is the company freaking jackass how long are we waiting for six because i've done that before what do you mean how long it doesn't say how you think this is how long you gotta put your nose in it you gotta wait 35 like it's fear factor wait what do you mean you've done it so i had three dogs at one point and i had a small backyard and they're all ████ ████ all day so you could clean up the backyard and there's ████ tons of ████ in one day already and it's just constant so we just left one of the windows closed but as soon as you go outside you smell it so i'm pretty used to it i think oh i always like it when my dog would ████ and then there's like a bunch of hair in it it's like my girlfriend's hair and
0:50 i'm like you ate hair absolute ████ happened in here so you would do this challenge i think you could do i would i think what's the end goal of that yeah they're like recurring health problems though like you know what i mean what happens at the end of the month how much does it against six thousand six years yeah six days for how long about two months for two months without and you can't do anything else for two months you guys are just smelling dogs are you just living with it or you know what they're doing so they're doing it's called this company is called omni okay they they specialize in plant-based dog food they're basically saying hey we want we want a dog owner to be dedicated to sniffing the dog's poo poo in order to to um test the effect that a plant-based diet has in the dog's digestion the odor and the health yeah that's actually pretty cool that's not bad dog ████ is really colorful because you can go from like white to brown sometimes it's like mustard yellow
1:41 it's pretty cool you amaze me every time you say something like just like the the sentences you put together i wouldn't expect you because it's very colorful yeah like human s███'s pretty colorful sometimes too right you just don't stare at it at all it does have a lot of variety though see you know what i'm talking about yeah yeah human ████ has variety too i don't know you guys are i think we just don't have to scoop the human ████ so we don't think about it i've never had a uh mustard yellow dookie in my toilet that's true i've never seen the mustard yellow one except for out of dogs have you ever had green green dookie i like green dookie oh yeah yeah definitely red little shop you smile when you say that i don't know shabu shabu without rice that makes it green yeah you just get all greens and meat you remember those caramel apple pops dude ████ in green for days which one remember the ones it's like it's like covered in caramel and it has green inside of it oh ████ you're ████ green for a week though you ever eat beets and then see your ████ the next
2:31 day it looks like you bled your ████ intestines that's bad dude yeah that's bam yeah you know what my favorite dog ████ prank was of old days when you when everyone runs out to the basketball court to play and then you get the ball and you just put in some dog ████ and then you just go all right guys game on you throw it the first guy gets it classic they start passing around and they just go what the ████ man i love that i love it why did every kid do that dude every school nobody ever trusted me if i'm the first one out there like man we're gonna be able to have a ball recess and ████ and then you're in the water fountain trying to ████ wash off the dog ████ you're like ████ you riot dog ████ pranks with a z dude i'll never forget when i when i lived in koreatown uh my buddy at the time he's a ████ wild man uh
3:21 so this guy we're pulling into a parking spot parking in that area is a ████ nightmare right and we always let my chick park in the structure so i couldn't get a spot and we're circling forever finally a spot opens up we're turning in and this guy just bolts in ████ parks there right what a ████ we had we had a we had some panic express in the car and ████ so we finally we go like nine blocks away park we'll walk all the way out right he just sits there in my in my apartment he's ████ stewie but he just sits there and orderly like eats his panda express then he he doesn't say anything to me he just goes into the bathroom okay he brings his panda express bag into the bathroom he takes a ████ into the bag the bag oh ████ and then he's he's like you want to come outside with me and i'm like what's going on he's like come on let's go outside and i was like all right well because the neighbor was kind of bad so i was alright you didn't smell anything fishy
4:11 now so we go outside it's got this warm bag with me he walks all the way to that car and he ████ takes the bag he flips it over and he ████ dumps his ████ on their hood that's dope that's ████ baller and honestly that is a wild man it's a wild man that's poetic justice though i think that's what they got deserved he was like dude it was that car that's my car man like it's dark dude always coming someone walks up and like who put cockney on my hood man i didn't deserve this he falls to his knees i like to think that that guy walked out and he never even noticed the dog ████ like ever yeah the punishment fits the crime on that one like just rolls right off the hood and he just drives like and it rains at night there's this guy that uh used to rent
5:01 from my mom's house and he's like one of these guys where like you look at him and you're like you kind of want to bully him and you know you know this guy's been bullied his whole life your bully bone goes off he's been bullied his whole life and you want to bully him yeah when you see it when you see him you're like okay yeah i know what you're talking about um so because so one of the things he does is he likes to wash his car in the driveway right but before he washes his car in the driveway he'll take like grocery bags like this and then he'll put it on his shoes like shower caps hmm nice so that his shoes don't get wet what a ████ yeah he should be like either you just wear sandals or you go barefoot or i don't know just just don't do that right but that's crazy just don't do that afraid of water bud but that's the stuff that he would do that who gets those hair shower caps and puts it on his shoes and ████ and walks around the house and i would i would uh so i helped manage my mom's rental property and this guy would
5:51 literally call me every single month that people are rubbing ████ all over his car and i'm like what the ████ what are you gonna do he's just flipping like what you're going to do and i'm like nothing i'm like you call the cops i don't even live around here and every single month i think just because the way he looked or the way he acted all the kids on the street were like ████ this guy why i don't know he's just so weird this guy installed a ████ rear view mirror on his back of the ████ van you know the kind that's like the arm so and the face is down so that the mirror so your rear view mirror can see that mirror can see this guy's an ████ he's also one of those guys that has a steering wheel thing that has a circular thing on here so you can grab it so that you can just turn it i thought if you're like if you have like a disability you can use it do you
6:41 think he has disabilities no he bought it at the ████ sanrio store like one of those kinds you know like that's a ████ corruption he's the kind of guy he gets out of he gets out of this van he has this like electric door he gets he gets into this like little wheelchair he has to like get lifted all the way this guy's an ████ this guy's a ramp everywhere he takes so long to get in his wheelchair and he's like complaining because there's no ramps and we're like nobody needs a ramp you know he goes to those like just you dude gift shop type stores that sell like car air fresheners and he buys all the accessories like that this fool is like he's the kind of he's the kind of guy that like this will faint when he sees a cat or something and his wife will pick him up like this and bring him home and ████ like he's a damsel in distress too yeah
7:31 no my dog i remember he would be doing laundry because i lived with him a little bit too i would be doing laundry and this i mean he'll be doing laundry and then i had a little chihuahua that would come out and then the chihuahua would be like whoa whoa whoa whoa and he's and i'm like what the ████ dude that's a little dog like he'll bring the laundry because the laundry machine is on the back so he'll bring it and then like he opens the metal gate and he's like looking for the killer chihuahua yeah and as soon as he sees him he slams the gate drops his laundry like a ████ cartoon character and then runs back and calls bart and leaves the ████ laundry thing what a ████ weirdo yeah but these are very minor infractions yeah this guy's just like timid dude yeah he just he just he probably has some trauma he apparently needs ████ smeared on his car though for this all of these crimes i don't know who's doing it it's bart doing it has been smearing ████ the whole time like
8:21 he was there's communication in your car he does have a weird rear-view mirror he is kind of a nerd she should have went to sanrio recently probably said he probably said something is like someone walking their dog one day and he was like are you gonna pick that up and then they were like yeah i'm gonna pick one guarantee yeah i'm gonna pick it up yeah i'm gonna pick it up every day all right so this article is basically about how they're bragging about their ████ dog dog food it's like better for your dog stool and all kinds of ████ so i could get back to it but really it's not as interesting as somebody wants to pay you to ████ sit there and smell poop six g's though that's what they gave somebody who an owner who was dedicated to actually sit there they got they're getting six thousand six hundred eighty five dollars to use their food dog food for two months and then you have to every time is vegan dog food though aren't they omnivores or whatever dog do you need to record yourself doing it because what if you just ████ lie yeah dude that's what i would do that's what i would do too for my science fair
9:11 experiment what was your science experiment it was the the effects of gingko blow bomb mice i did it for like three days and ████ forged all the rest of the data i did that too that's how you do a real science experiment global advice yeah i was like does it affect their memory and then i got really bored of it really fast so what what was your conclusion that you forged i said sure i said sure we need more studies to find out that's what it was i met one of these parents at titus jujitsu and they told me uh red dragon karate if you if you go home and you certify that your kid has practiced for however many hours they'll advance them belts too so you can go to class maybe like like once a week but then if you're like i swear i saw him train 20 hours this week they'll be like here's your next belt no way wow because kids love to train i think they're just like college application patterns
10:01 so i was like oh i have no idea how i got a purple belt and take one down karate does that you having a like a a black belt in red dragon karate does that help you get into universal not anymore but it should before probably they like extracurricular helps you get into the kumite well it used to be it used to be you could get a belt but now they'll just ████ take it away from you i guess even if you start a little tiny war oh a little tiny you took two belts away from him but judah wanted to take one honorary judo and taekwondo that's ████ up man he's no longer a master of sport i just don't know how someone can get an honorary black belt like i thought you had to earn one oh he's not even a real black belt it says honorary black belt type that's lame bro so i'm like how do you get one but he's a judo guide me i heard but who's gonna who's gonna let him not be a judo guy that's true it was uh he was given to a at an honorary judo studio he created did you guys see the clip of uh like him
10:53 and conor taking a picture and connor's like yeah yeah and then you see the uh bodyguard guys like this and you see connolly arm over him like but i guess you can't touch the god of the king putin's allowed to he could touch anybody once he ████ grabbed all the balls [Music] [Applause] [Music] you
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