0:00 I guarantee that if when we have a break yeah and I make a grinder profile for you by the next time we film you're going to have so many matches not even joking you think so the last time I did that as a joke to somebody the last time I did as a joke everything matched the joke was on you yeah then the joke was on me because I dated all those guys [Music] welcome back to another amazing episode of careful boys today we have all of your favorite careful boys in the episode except for Anthony no one likes him anyways I kind of miss him dude I'm not clapping that he's missing I'm just pointing that out is he missing though because that would be kind of a different episode we don't know where he is he's missing he hasn't texted back in the group chat in like weeks is he in Vietnam or something or where is he he's always in different countries isn't he yeah he's on he's on
0:51 a tour right so it's kind of going in is it Mel Gibson doing a documentary about him what that's what I heard the passion of the Vietnamese Christ now something about something about kids I don't know child labor like like Hollywood kid aficionados operation uh Anthony Lee child abductor you wanna you wanna do it in Lee episode yeah I do I do how do I do that how do I do that how do we make that happen I thought you had footage for us or something no I don't have footage but what was it I posted that recent video of everyone roasting on him when he wasn't here oh man and then he did say in the comments that he was gonna turn in his resignation do you think he misses us yeah yeah because he texted us about that video oh yeah he misses it he's like no one's
1:43 making fun of me like this is just not cool out here everyone's praising me and throwing me flowers do you think when he's dancing on stage he's thinking about us while he's up there going ████ if they could only see me now my glory my glory could be I mean yeah that's you think they will ████ make fun of me he's like I'll show them dude he's pretty glorious when he moves yeah but look I bought this little golf thing for us to have in the office that where we could play with Anthony Kinda Yeah I bought it but yeah but he hasn't been here that's true oh he hasn't been here since you got it I got this ████ alcohol because I don't even drink but Steven Anthony dude and Anthony's never been here to taste the wines he's been gone for like two months huh or about to be
2:33 rolling I don't remember the last time we shot with him because the one time he was supposed to be here he was like I'm sick I'm not feeling well that's a really good Anthony yeah but he was yeah he was he was like deathly ill actually just him talking like this and he's like moving his head like this because you know he's all about movements and stuff like that right he did text me he was like Hey like yesterday like it didn't feel good he goes I'm not feeling good this morning what should I do do you like this he's like and then he was like he was like I don't wanna but I don't want to like let you guys down and all that you already did but with this text so I'll just stay home then knock the boys down you're like oh well it's okay and he's like okay cool I'll see you guys next time see you in four weeks immediately takes me out I'm like when
3:23 it comes to when it comes to feelings I'm the worst person to text you like go text someone else there's the feelings you get that thing where it says Anthony has his notifications off when you text him back oh you texting me the screen goes I'm like bro my ████ dad died and I still came um I don't give a ████ what's going on in your life if you want someone to sympathize go text someone else obviously that's like that's like an unbeatable thing you have yeah can be like man my dad didn't just die either I'll tell you that he's always bringing that up every single time he bails yeah he did it just died didn't like go away and sleep I'll tell you that much how would we be how do we top that so
4:13 then if my dad dies I'll show up even if we're not filming yeah you have to show you we know what the standard is I'm like this with my mom too what what are you like like wait sometimes my mama like like well we're trying to grab like dinner or lunch or whatever like every two weeks and then she'll be like man we're at IHOP enjoying the strawberry pancakes just ████ enjoy the goddamn ████ fruity Tootie there he's like this is living baby this is living this is why can't you focus on your strawberry ████ pancakes look at all the different kind of syrups we have here we have butter pecan I'm like where we're on Atlantic and you're thinking about Cerritos let's just be on Atlantic
5:03 please [Laughter] man up mom is the funniest you get embarrassed when she starts crying you're just like hey stop crying stop crying you do that no and then I go home I tell Gio what happened she ████ yells at me the best thing about that is Bart going to go being like can you believe this ████ strawberry pancakes and then he has to learn that that was that was ████ up actually she has to turn him around and go no no that was funny oh like an hour conversation and he's like I don't know I don't get your point and bar has a oh moment and he goes ████ I don't get it but I guess I have to do it now and he's venting to us I'm like yeah Geo's like getting mad at me it's like I don't understand is your wife on your back your back like this
5:54 he's like we're on Cerritos we're not in Atlanta she doesn't understand that why do you want to destroy your pancake strawberry Cafe Moment by ████ seeing his hanging ass you're bumming me out what does Geo say to you like what did she tell you just yells at me like oh like you know it's pretty traumatic and all that and she's like You Gotta Be You Gotta Be uh you gotta empathize you gotta see where she's coming from and try to like like don't use the triggers that's when I was like a kid you know like when she used to come at me like I think probably because she shut off my feelings when I was a kid so now it's like a really natural Niche reaction no no no I do actually yeah that makes sense yeah I can't wait to like take all her ████ stupid ass Buddhist philosophies and then like
6:44 and then ████ counter on her ass you know feels good dude my parents were still sheltered about sex stuff that I love rubbing in that I'm ████ they're my parents any chance I get yeah just rub it in they know everything about your foot on Nikki's face put on Nikki's back of her head oh backwards that's barbaric sometimes yeah [Laughter] in front of her face that's just disrespectful all right I'm always wondered what the appropriate response is to when a mom says I can't get the image out of my head draw a picture tell her to draw it draw it in your pancakes well if you think about it maybe that is a cathartic way of getting it out she ████
7:34 probably but probably not because then you're gonna eat the pancakes it's gonna go back into you that like uh she was like um I think I tried I think maybe I have like a um like a two-week grace period you know oh so when the incident happened when the incident happened she's like oh like this is really traumatic oh yeah for sure I get it so I went straight to her I stayed with her in her room I slept in the same room as her for the whole week to be support and I'm like okay cool like the time's running out of this ████ grace period and then she was like still feeling traumatic she's like you know what I'm just gonna sell the house I just gotta lose this energy I don't want to think about anymore every time I pull up into the garage I get that image I'm like dude I totally get it so let's help you sell the house we sell the house now it's been six months after the house is sold I'm like ████ the ████ house is sold I don't know what the hell you're still
8:25 thinking about we don't got any of these ████ things like like lingering triggers anymore and then so now the grace period is over you know yeah it's over yeah take it too long to cope remember when but when uh this happened Bart texts the boys and he's like hey you guys are my friends and if any of you ever needs anything let me know and now we know the clock starts then there's a shot clock yeah yep look at the calendar okay Market two weeks when did I say that I was like hey Bart can I can can I get some help but he's like hey dude what happened oh you know what we never asked you uh remember how like so when you brought your realtor friend here we asked him some questions about like how to sell a house if someone had like passed away and he said that you
9:15 have to like disclose the info if they ask you have to disclose but you don't have to you don't have to be proactive and then like oh so did you run into anything like that when you were trying to sell no one ever no so what my mom what my mom ended up doing is uh she sold the house to one of her time traveler friends no right [Laughter] because I think my mom was so like traumatized with the event that she was like ████ but what if like we go through an actual escrow process and then people ask they have to reveal it and then it's gonna be re-triggering whatever and I was like I was like just let sign me over to be your power of attorney and I'll sell the house and try to maximize profits for you but then I just think like ████ when a ████ is frazzle dazzled then she
10:07 can't think straight ████ I mean sometimes I feel that way yeah yeah so she was just like I'm just gonna sell it to my ████ because that time childhood friend came over and kind of like did like a a week-long exorcism you know if she got a good deal yeah she sold it like it was like 100 G's under like marketing those Time Travelers are con artists dude I don't think they're from the future I really don't you're not buying it starting to not think so I'll Farm but I was like fine if this is what's gonna make you feel good ████ go ahead yeah maybe because a time traveler was like oh my God inflation's that much more right now they're like oh I kick just came from the 90s houses weren't this expensive and your mom felt bad yeah 100 G's under and I was like dude that's a good deal and they didn't know they didn't know about anything like the buyer no because that that lady was the person that came over and helped
10:57 my mom like conduct exorcisms like the whole week yeah yeah because I apparently there's like demons and ████ in there now there's just Dad right and then so it's I don't know so like it's just Dad I see him and I'm like Hey Dad see you later you know she's saying ████ like that yeah oh assistant did you have a dream last night because I had a dream and I felt like the presents come over my mom's like she eats it up she was like oh your dream what's your dream she's like oh he came to just say like goodbye one more time or whatever you know my mom like just eats all that ████ up those guys probably love her that's just her ████ REM sleep speaking to her like I'm like I don't know dude you know mine's going crazy she got such a good deal out of that man
11:48 yeah I feel like all those people are con artists and they try to ████ wrap around your life and then try to extract everything out of you and taking advantage of a frazzle dazzled ████ and all you gotta do right listen sometimes you feel that way sometimes you feel frazzle Dazzle it's a real term yeah I could have gone over with some incense and ████ that's what the lady did see that's all and then I got a 100K discount on the house damn okay dude they're really good because they come over like during like a time of Crisis yeah and they really help during that time and then so they don't really like charge anything they just have like like front load a ton of Goodwill and then later on it's like yeah that Bart's ████ shaking his watch like all right isn't that also like the Scientology business model is it they come to you at
12:39 a time of like distress to like kind of pressure you to is that what Colts do in general yeah that's why like that's why they build Scientology places so close to Kaisers and other hospitals you know no way like look at the Hollywood um the the Scientology centers always have like a hospital really close by why because they like to go to the emergency room and get some followers I mean it's just like an easy way to like prey on people that are at their lowest is there a hospital off the 101 off the the Scientology building was it Franklin or something yeah yeah it's that's this that's the big one it's like right next to the hospital yeah literally shares the same parking lot the cell of the cult leader like who sits the husband and wife down and explains to them that he's gotta ████ his wife too it's so good oh my gosh like imagine picture that dude every documentary I watch on Cults they end up ████ the wife and somehow the husband sucks the guy's dick too yeah
13:33 how do you do that it's like I don't got ten percent but I can suck your dick this is why it's not working so far in this cold we're not ████ yeah and then they're like oh I can feel it nice man yeah my life is in pieces of ████ right yeah so all I gotta do is suck on your dick and you gotta ████ my wife okay all right let's do it does that mean the term sex cult is redundant title it seems like because all cults have sex in it yeah what cult doesn't exactly yeah suicide call what called wooden if it's on the table it wasn't Heaven's Gate really no I thought they were all just drinking the Kool-Aid no but the guy the leader was like ████ all the other dudes in there oh really yeah he was a gay man
14:25 if it's all dudes ████ each other is that so bad for society but if it's as long as the ages are all lined up yeah otherwise because they got to be lined up yeah yeah it's gonna be a straight line you don't want one of these where it's like 13 to 70. you want like you know everyone's like kind of like 35 or something yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh it gets weird have you seen that documentary about that Japanese sex cult no it's pretty that just sounds like Japan but it's very low it's like I don't know I think there's only like a handful maybe like a dozen members or something oh really what did they do but then like I think half of them are like disabled oh wow wait dude what documentary is this it's just just type Japanese sex cool it didn't they're all just like like in wheelchairs and stuff and like yeah what kind of disabled right yeah that was my question yeah there's there's like a
15:15 couple of them that are things about like blind man that just sounds like a handicapped orgy in a way yeah half halfway it is yeah how many people do you need to have in your cult to like be considered a cult I don't know maybe there's like a six person minimum or something that sounds about right you need a leader need followers I think as long as you have a leader but what if it's just like a duel like one leader one like I think you need enough to fill a standard Din Tai Fung tape this what we have here well we're not ████ so what's our belief system each other's dicks yeah maybe we get close but we never do it we always bail out we get so close and one of us ████ out that's what makes it tantalize it yeah yeah that's how you keep things spicy you don't actually eat
16:05 you don't eat the sub or more religion yeah okay yeah more of a religion yeah because we hold back okay yeah like yeah yeah we have values huh what's up like a club in a tree house dude if anything yeah I like that I like it just just kicking girls I try to come up yeah get out of here what about our Discord our Discord can be kind of culty sometimes yeah we've got some interesting characters in there man there's definitely quite a few characters in there sometimes I need to look more on the Discord if I'm being honest that's you saying here I haven't checked the Discord you don't know the characters do you know who Melanie is I know Melanie oh yeah I know Melody she's great we have some regulars in there but we have a lot of lurkers I
16:56 feel like lurkers just read yeah everybody needs to come in and chat more yeah I need a chat more too I just don't know what to say sometimes why don't you just say that ████ that's what you say here anyway yeah is this good content just go in there and just type that out just go in there and just say yeah all right he's the same way on JK news the way he is on Discord same guy he's probably reading any goals I should I should not gonna say nothing yeah just go on there and say that ████ yeah okay I'll I'm gonna do that today at lunch I think if they just know you're in there that's pretty funny it is a cool Community though I'm gonna send pictures of me in selfies with everybody in in the room and just send it randomly throughout the week just randomly hey did you like that uh how I respond to scam callers with your photo now bro that was ████ hilarious I do that more than I post my hands are tired from grappling dude what did they respond to that like that
17:47 sorry my hands are tired of them took a blurry ass photo that made it look like he took it because he's looking at it like this I'm like sweating I'm like sorry it's blowing hands tired from grappling do you use my picture a lot for that yeah I do yeah because it's just always there yeah yeah it's a good picture because I keep re-saving it so it's always at the front of my camera roll especially when they're asking for me to send a picture or the caller like it's just the perfect it's the perfect setup I do can we start setting up grinder profiles with Dick's pictures yeah look at the grapple is that illegal to do is it well not if I give you my consent no I mean but is that faking an identity I mean is it illegal again I mean to the dude that's hoping that he's gonna hook up with you nobody gets arrested for catfishing that's not a crime only people in California would say is that illegal yeah right like there's ████ catfish
18:38 is all over the ████ place but this is like six degree premeditated but the funny thing is this guy's gonna be horny as ████ after all that he's gonna see him one day and then just grab Nick and make out whatever it's dirty I guarantee because I've done this before I guarantee that if when we have a break yeah and I make a grinder profile for you by the next time we film you're gonna have so many matches not even joking you think so the last time I did that as a joke somebody the last time I did as a joke everything matched then the joke was on you yeah then the joke was on me because I dated all those guys the dentist knows yeah no my dentist quit but yeah the um if you really want to do
19:28 it that would be a funny what if I got zero matches and I'd be like wait wait what hey good because I'm not gay I'll be like Ryan let me see your profile but then he goes up to tip and goes do I still got it big zero matches like are you kidding me there's no there's no way there's no personality about me just let me flourish it and the whole time I'm venting her like it's Ryan it's the way Ryan set up the profile I think that's I think that's a great episode we just do an episode where we're actually setting it up and then we each contribute personality traits and things like that what if you did Barts dude no yours dude yeah Bart's like throwing a ████ net into goldfish pulled in yeah what are you talking about dude you look like a tougher nut to crack and I think you know that'll be more fun hey
20:19 we found out that we found out hey guys we found out that people want to ████ Bart is that crazy that'd be a great episode what a great episode thank you foreign
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