0:00 Dude, I shut out the lights off, but I test it with my hand first if the ████ toilet seat is down. You shut out the lights off? Welcome back to Careful Boys. Today we're talking about the things our wives want to fix about us, but we absolutely refuse. Stand strong, brothers. Where do I even start? Yeah. That's a good one. That's a good one. I like that one. Yep. I'm leaving the toilet seat up. Nice. I can't. You guys get into fights about that? Can't do that. I can't either. It's a big dog move. I do I do it sometimes, and then like sometimes I walk away and I'm like, "Damn, did I leave it up?" And then I'm like, "Rebel. Just rebel. Just walk away. Just walk away." You get in trouble for that? And then and then I get ADD and I like forget, and then I get in trouble for it. You want to know what my solution is to this problem? Instead of I lift up the toilet seat,
0:50 but when I finish, I close everything. I do close everything. I slam it. I just close everything. her know. Cuz one time she got mad at me cuz she she didn't check the toilet seat, and she sat in it. She fell through it. But is that like do it does your girl also go in the dark? Yeah, but I'm also like, "Babe, you still got to check though. Like that's not Like I understand that's my bad, but it's also your bad as well." And she fell through it. my bad, it's going to look bad. Yeah, you you can't just sit. I'm like, "That's crazy, babe." I can't be there to catch you in public, babe. No. But girls do that, right? Girls stand up and And that's why they're wrong, and that's why they have to check. the lights on. Yeah, but they got to ████ see what Dude, I shut out the lights off, but I test it with my hand first if the ████ toilet seat is down. You shut out the lights off? I don't do anything with the lights on. I can see why. What's the What's the reason I'm blind as ████ want to wake up fully. Like in the middle of the night I wake up I got ████ right? Oh, yeah, you can't see with full
1:41 lights. We got a nightlight in our bathroom for that. Yeah, you I walk in there in the dark. Oh, it's going to hurt your eyes. And then you know in the back when you touch the seat toilet seat cover, you know if the seat is up or not. Yeah. So you touch like that you're like, "All right, the seat's down." You sit down. Mhm. But what if like the toilet seat's up and you touch that and now you definitely just have like feces on you or your hand. Yeah. What? More than two cleaner toilet. Come on. That's my beef from earlier. Uh this this is me. I had to blow out earlier. This is me. I wake up and hello dry mouth and ████ turn on the light. I'm like uh just beaming through my eyeballs and I just ████ sit for everything piss and ████ That's good. Sitting for peeing is nice sometimes at night. We do have This thing we do have this thing in our bathroom where You got to get off the phone a little bit. Before going to sleep, Nina wants to make sure that like all of our
2:31 serotonins all good and stuff. So she doesn't like the lights like fully on. But when we when we go to like our his and her sinks in the bathroom, her sink is right next to like the shower light. So she doesn't take turn on the bathroom light, she only wants the shower light on. My sink's on the other side which gets way less light. So sometimes I'll be in there with the light on cuz I'm like brushing my teeth first or whatever and then she'll slap that off and turn on the other one to go to hers and I can't see anything. And I'm like damn. Sometimes when she catch me at the wrong time, I turn around with toothbrush in my mouth and I go right back over and I switch on the light. And I'm like hey, I can't see on my side. Yeah, yeah. Same ████ Honestly, you got to you should stand up for yourself. That's ████ up. Hard. Cuz my eyes are really bad. You got to be like hey, that's ████ up. You just turn off the light with me in here. Hey, I'm fighting for that, bro.
3:22 That's crazy. I'm like we started at the same time. I understand the flow. Like I'm mid brush right now. That's a little That's foul. Yeah. That's foul, dude. It's hella funny though what she does because I'm like in the dark. You know what you say? You got well ████ me then, right? That's what I say. Tiff does that to me. Like the Jonah Hill before bed, that's always good. Yeah. Hey, ████ ████ me, right? And then but the good thing about Tiff is she'll start laughing. She's like I'm so sorry. Yeah, it's really funny. But I'm like How come they don't have to be as considerate to us? It's so interesting. The double standard's plenty, huh? Yeah. They don't Yeah. know. They don't have to be that considerate. You know why? Cuz they think we could deal with more cuz we're tougher men. But then at the same time, it's like, "I can't see in the dark, b████." You know what is a thing though? You should have been a ████ When I'm not when I'm not home, like obviously I can't take care of her. So, she's like superwoman. She could do
4:12 everything. Yep. She could do this, take out the trash, do or do everything. I remember you telling me that. Yeah. The second I get back, it's like suddenly it's like, "Hey, can you grab me a water?" Like everything. Can't you do literally cannot do a single thing for herself. All of a sudden can't open jars and ████ Yeah. Can't do it. Can you reach the Can you grab that? And I'm like, "How the ████ you do this when I'm gone?" a I had a big fight with Smack a long time ago, like in the early years, because like she used to do this thing where like every time I walked in the door and came home, she would just instantly become lethargic. She got tired? Like I would just walk in and she'd be like, "Hi." And I'm like, "Where the ████ all that energy on social media when I'm ████ home?" Like I got so pissed because I'm like, "You got this image like you just bursting with energy and s███." And then I come in and you're just like already
5:02 hugging me like, "Welcome back." And I was like I got really pissed and then ever since then she she like picks it up when I get home now. Well, she like listens to you. Yeah. Because she because I told her I'm like that sucks cuz like I always I always present her with the most positive like big energy that I can. Just even if I feel like that outside, when I get in I'm like, "Hey, who's home?" Like I'm all like ████ dorky and ████ That's like my That's our thing. Like we always act like we can't see each other. Like I come in and I'm like, "Isn't anyone here?" You know, it's like a ████ dumbass thing to do. But then like before that, she was always like I guess like how she explained it was that she's so relieved that like we're just like now we're together. So, she just like relaxes in it. Yeah. she's more in the pocket and I'm like That's what I'd say if I was bullshitting you. Yeah. That's what this porn star said to me
5:52 when I was dating her. She was I was like, "Why don't you ████ me like the way you ████ them on the camera?" And then she was like, "Because I love you." But you don't But you don't look like the guy in the camera. I did I did ask Nina recently to like fake some stuff for me. Obviously sex. No. Sorry. Sorry. Like fake an orgasm for once. I've never seen an orgasm once. Can you just show me what it might look like? I don't No. Start throwing pillows if you can. Can you at least fake it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Please fake a fake a blow job. Can you just fake a blow job? Yeah, fake one. That's good. Show me what you would do. Yeah. Yeah. Um I did ask ask her cuz we got into a This is a serious conversation cuz I got into this thing where every time I'm with her family or her friends, I'm like I'm trying to play up to something. Like I'm like I'm going to host. I'm like make sure like you guys staying care. Like I'm going to like grab you
6:42 guys your food. I'm going to I'm going to make jokes. I'm going to bring out games and to keep the energy going. Like I want to make sure everybody's got I'll ████ go to the store and restock stuff to just make sure people are comfortable cuz when sh- her friends are around or her family's around, I want to make sure things are taken care of. But then like when she when my friends will come over, sh- sometimes she might just retreat into the room and just like solo dolo. And I get it if it's like all guy energy and we're like ████ around playing video games or something like that. There's there is definitely a line of like oh like let him have his guy time. Mhm. But if it's clearly like a social like hey like let's go out to eat or let's go check this thing out and then it becomes like a all entire from work. It's like it just feels like you're not giving me I I fake it. Just ████ fake it. Show me that you like what we do. Show me you don't mean like just give me that too cuz then it's like what am I doing? What am I doing for your homies, you know?
7:33 So she doesn't know that you suffer through her ████ But you're doing it for her. Well, cuz you're you're making the effort. That's why you do it. But she just think you're having a good time with them with the family. Yeah. She didn't know that you were doing it out of love. I explained the same thing to Smack. I'm like, if I'm when I'm ████ turning my personality to 10, when you I have to go somewhere with you, I'm doing it so that people go, "Hey, like you did a good job. You picked a good person. Like, he's cool." It's for your benefit. I don't give a ████ about these people. I'm not talking to them after this. Like, I'm doing it just to give you a good impression like every time. So, I'm like, you got to do that for me just like 10% of what I do. I'm not even asking her to be ████ you know, some like kind of dynamo. I'm just like, be cool, yeah. Hundreds of videos dating all the way back to 2019. That's right. If you click on the link down below, you could join
8:23 our Patreon, join us on the Discord, come chat with us directly, have a fun conversation, and this will help support the channel's growth and new ideas. And also tap into our closer community by joining our Discord and get the opportunity to suggest video ideas like the ones you've seen. Thank you, guys. Join our Patreon. Help us out. Thanks. See you guys there. Say hi to me. So, what are their responses to that when cuz I'm sure like they probably didn't see it that you guys were doing it and it was like just naturally being done. No, yeah, she understood it completely because I just compared it. I'm like, "Have you ever seen me like meet up with them later or like on my own time that I'm like, 'Hey, I met you through my girl. Let's hang out.'" Like, I don't I've done that. I'm like, "It's just in that that space and moment. I'm just helping you have like a good impression." And she understood completely. She was like, "Yeah, sorry." What? What do you Just people that I don't give a ████
9:13 about her. I mean, not her, but ████ about her friends and some side. I'm just coming like just like quiet ████ I'm just like, "What's up, dog?" Just like, "Hell s███." That's why they get mad at her about you, though. No, but she's like, "Is your boyfriend okay?" I'm They're all just like, "Yeah, she He's fine. What's going on?" And then He's a mute. He's just mysterious. Soon as someone comes up to you, I'm just like, "Ah, what's up, man? Your dick small." Then I go crazy, you know what I mean? But right now I just Wait, someone said that to you? I just like to be like that. You don't ever think about how maybe you're being a little bit rude? Yeah. Cuz that stands out more than being norm You know what I mean? Like I don't That's my nightmare. I don't want anyone to ask about me. You also look scary, too, dude. Well, no, but I want to do what's right by my chick. For somebody to go, "Nikki, is your Is your husband okay?" Like that's my nightmare to be like Dude, I don't mind. The thing is You don't mind Peo- Peo- People People kind of know that how I am
10:04 already. But once you get to know me, they're already like, "Oh, he's funny as s███." I just wild out, but when it's like right off the rip, I'm just like, "Oh." Cuz she goes through like a lot of new people all the time. She's There's new people all the time at that She's going through new people all constantly. Before it was just like me running through them. Before I was just like, you know, like you said, "Ah, woo, woo." Just all wild and then But you don't You don't have like an automatic like this is I'm meeting this person specifically cuz of my girl, therefore I at the very least need to be like, "Nice to meet you." Cuz those points go to her. They don't go to you. Cuz closest friends, yes. But when it comes to like always the big parties she attends to, sometimes I'm just like just chill, quiet, calm. I'm not like lame or nothing. I'm just very calm and quiet. You're not like a noise machine. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But it's It's like the thing where like
10:55 if if you're with your girl's friends and they're all like, "Let's play Cards Against Humanity." Like you got to be the first one like, "Let's do it." You know what I mean? Even if you're not interested, you have to like participate in whatever because a lot of the time most guys won't do that. If they're like, "Hey, we're going to all play this game." Like guys are just going to stand like this, but Always, dude. Those guys are bumming so I'm like, "Now I got to learn how to play another ████ board game." Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that changes you go for it, right? That's interesting because there's times where that happened and I was just like, I just slowly disappear, you know what I mean? Like Homer Simpson. I'm just like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." Where do you go after you disappear? I love the way a real energy matcher. I go to I I go to the kitchen. Uh-huh. He's out eating. I find alcohol. I'm just like, let me let's turn up my mood this way then. There you go.
11:45 So, you once you get a drink in, you get a little loose. So, I get a drink in my hand, I immediately go to random dude like, "What's up, man? What's up with your tattoo? Does that ████ look sick, fool? Yeah." So, you talk to guys with tattoos. him last night. I measured a 5.5. What are you? What's your status? What are you? Because I don't feel like I need to be I'm not saying being that that dude is fake. But, I feel like me doing that will be fake. You know what I'm saying? So, sometime I don't want to give you the high energy all the time. Got to be fake, bro. You got to drink a ████ double shot frappuccino and like What if you found like a middle ground? I'm being authentic. Cuz it's in there. It's in you. It's just a matter of like activating what already you can do. You know, like don't be ████ some other guy. But, like ████ another guy. The excitement that you have Yeah. You know, you got to like find it in you. Maybe I'm just at this point where
12:38 You just don't give a ████ I just don't give a ████ You're just tired. You have a kid. You're like, "F███ this s███." I get it. Well, now it's just really that. I'm just like, "Don't give a ████ man. Just got to make money and save money." I remember I had to go to like one of Tip's like work Christmas parties. And when I got there, I was like, "Oh ████ this is like a real workplace." Like this is very corporate. And your boy has to be on his best behavior. Yeah. I can't be ████ around. Tighten it up. Yep. Corporate people, I forget what that's like. You know, you go in a room. Hey. We started talking to this other couple. LinkedIn live. We started talking to this other couple. cooler ████ And he's like and and the the boyfriend was like, "Yeah, I'm just looking at a couple properties. I'm trying to buy some and trying to buy a bunch of properties right now." And he's like, "Yeah, me and my marketing team, we're just on a we're my boss had a yacht party. We're just and we're just on the yacht. It it was a
13:28 great time. And I'm just talking to him like, "Sick, dude. That's tight." I was like, "How big was the boat?" He's like, "Oh, bro, it was ████ huge." He's like, "It was a great It's a great yacht." And I was like, "Oh, cool, man. That's tight." He's like, "Yeah, very very cool, man. Very cool." And I walk away and I go, "What a ████ ████ dude." You should get him like you just go, "Come here, man." I could end it ALL RIGHT NOW. I COULD KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS. CAN I JUST SAY ONE thing what I realized? Two things even. Why? Two Two Two minutes. Maybe three. Maybe three. Two minutes. I act like that is because lot of Sasha's friends and clients are very like either trans, gay or on the other side. SO, THAT'S ████ WORSE, DUDE. He's like, "Hey, I'm going to skip the double down. I'm going to skip the triple down even. I'm going to go straight Sometimes I I I'm I'm like that
14:21 because And then I was like, "Give me the 10 by 10." You don't say nothing offensive? I might accidentally mag up or I I don't want to say anything crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I'm just like I dumb it down so much where I'm just like, "That dude." Yeah, he's just nonverbal. Is your man okay? And then she goes like, "Yeah, he's fine." I'm literally thinking of everything I need to say. Yeah, he's fine. He's just homophobic. No, I'm not any of that. I just don't want to offense cuz last time we went to a Halloween party, I said something and one of the her homie uh home girl's boyfriend came up to me and he goes What did you say? You said make America great again? I just said something. Yeah, ████ yeah. Let's get it. You know, I just like super Yeah. You're having too much fun. Like, "Why are you with they? You're just one person." ████ yeah. Let's get it. You're a plural. I was just like ████ like a dude in it. Yeah, yeah. That's not it. I forgot like
15:12 You're being toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity. I think I think that's what I was giving out and then someone was like, "Yo, Hey, tell that guy to mind his own ████ Yeah, I would tell that guy to ████ off like that. I'm not punching anybody in the head. I'm just being excited. Isn't that crazy that you could just be not even saying nothing but just be have a high energy and someone could go like I'm receiving too high of a stimulus. I get anxiety. That's ████ nuts. Go jump off a balcony. That's what it was and I remember saying something when I was just like Tim Walls is whack as ████ you know what I mean? And then you literally heard you literally saw a girl like what the ████ and then walk away and I was just like woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah You know what? Never mind. I'm going to just eat it. I was just like you know what? I'm going to be this ████ lame dude. Anything Tim Walls is whack as ████ isn't even A HOT TAKE. KAMALA was saying it. Anything political though is just randomly true. I just avoid all like
16:03 Just don't say that. No, obviously. I don't touch politics. that abruptly too? No, I didn't say abruptly. Abruptly? That's deleted. Yo, AOC man. Hi hi what's up? I'm assuming have you seen this Tim Walls guy? I think he's ████ a wild. Drinking you know when you're drinking you feel comfortable Oh, you start talking about Yiannopolis. There's one dude the same same side as you. You guys are just going to be going That's true. I get it. I've been I do I do that lightweight like kind of code switch too cuz like anytime I'm hanging with like Nina's group of friends it's either all girls and gay guys. Yeah. So like you know I'm obviously not going to have the same type of like banter that I do with Yeah, for sure. It's tough. Got to code switch sometimes. Yeah, you got to just like play into it. If like if like half the conversation is about like the new perfume that came out
16:54 I'm not just going to I have to find my way in. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can find your angle. You just have to find whatever makes sense. I'm just like yo this probably didn't smell good on Tim Walls, right? Oh, woah what the ████ did you say? I can't believe with that guy. The ████ Are you ████ J.D. Vance just smells great. Yeah. You would have heard me cracking up in the car. I heard that one. HEARD THAT. IT'S CODE SWITCHING FOR SURE, right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was good. So, because of this place though, I'll spend half the time I'm at someone's house and and I'll I'm trying to talk about like women or something and I and I think to myself I'm like these absolute ████ in my head, but then I'm like you got to say women to say women. So sick. Because of this place.
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