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Off The Record: How To Be a Better Partner!

#pillows#significant#skills#solve#personal
the transcript auto-captions · entered into evidence

0:00 this video opens with Joe be like man we just talk about real ████ and then he's like he's like put socks in the battery and ████ hit your ████ with it he's like the first guy to talk [Music] welcome back to another careful boys where we are indeed very careful boys today we are talking about how we can be better for our significant others Anthony um repeat the question how can you be better for your significant other people that uh ████ damn I'm on the spot already number one you should always cheat number two you should never work and let them do all the work because you could collect good payments like that and chill very good number three talk ████ to them so they'll stay yeah

0:51 number four put a chip on the shoulder huh put a chip on their shoulder write it down kid write it down guys yeah nagging uh okay like no it's just Joe's been watching Fresh and fit too I watched that this morning what you did those guys are wild boys dude they'd be saying some crazy ████ I'm just curious like because a lot of people are like oh you guys should be watching or you should bring them on or whatever right and then um somebody hurt those guys yeah I would love dating tips that are useful in the Florida club scene right exactly yeah that's exactly what I thought I was just like oh these are the kind of guys that just go to the the parties like in Hollywood or whatever and then those are the kind of girls that like go to they every week and their masters of that yeah like I remember doing that I remember seeing that in college and whatever so I get it um but their mentality on dating in the

1:42 world is just that I agree yeah it's like that yeah they won't get girls like Games Workshop in Pasadena no no Prime Time real estate baby you think they go to the Renaissance Fair and get get laid probably not no first of all all the Honeys at the Renaissance Fair have bosom you know what I'm talking about that's what they call them too is that premeditated Muslim for sure it is right they got the pickles in there a little yeah that's wild bro I was pre-meditated throwing that out there we looking for troll answers living serious though serious stuff but obviously I'm having a ████ ball and this is why we can't have serious conversation today I'm very serious person I know right I never know what your eyes are I don't know who you're looking at all right I was just I was no seriously I was just telling Colleen that we used to have actual discussions but we have so much ████ fun now that no discussions really get there anymore

2:33 well we had quite a few discussions while you were gone oh really that's boring experience that we are a lot of Heart to Heart a lot of uh crying yeah yeah sorry Anthony oh ████ um serious answers uh I could probably um build better and stronger Bridges and relationships to her family let's get closer to her family it's real yeah too real too fast no that's good no that's good I should have eased into it no you're right because that yeah how do you think you've you haven't done that like like I don't think it's a matter of having it but I think um that like maybe like her her family uh all of her sisters have children and stuff so like it's it's oftentimes like every every time we hang out it's a lot of like the

3:23 kids or the pets or like just family in general but like making a more direct or personal effort to like build like a one-on-one relationship with her sister or like a brother-in-law or something like that I feel like maybe could just I don't know deepen bonds and stuff or like just improve the chemistry overall when we do see each other or even being willing to like talk to them outside of group text I don't know if anybody else like has like you know especially with your significant others if you already have individual group text or I mean uh individual texts with like siblings I don't really have that I have like group texts with like her siblings and stuff like that you know what I mean for sure but yeah I think I could build better Bridges I DM Hannah's dad I slide into his DMS yeah what do you saying we talk about cars and how goofy Hannah is that's really precious yeah and then um her mom she hits me up on uh WhatsApp so

4:16 her dad hits me up on my on Instagram because he like we like to flood on Instagram and then but her mom is more personal so we talk on WhatsApp that's cute yep and then she's always talking about how like much we're doing a good job in life that's cute that's amazing she watches the insta the all of our videos on YouTube and all that and then oh good she got to see you open this video talk about like treated like ████ I think she stopped watching JK news because um uh yeah I was just we're talking about too much sexual ████ together a real ████ and he's like he's like put socks in the battery and ████ hit your ████ with it he's like the first guy to talk she's probably like yeah you know I don't want

5:08 Hannah to go on a hot seat to see to hear which parent she would ████ she said that I'm pretty sure that's what she's gonna say next oh ████ I thought she worked for herself I'm like oh man she really watches I would say we would make an exception for her but I don't trust myself no you gotta go hard and she'd probably answer it too she would answer I'm loyal to this show I wouldn't do that to her it's just it's a it's the seat that I respect exactly you know what I mean exactly yeah I don't have a relationship with her brothers yet but then um her parents are ████ dope as hell and I do think you're right like just building that Bond it's like solidifying that unit together you're not just ████ buddies in a bed and just you like to have ████ late night dinners together which are most relationships now you're building ties to family members and you're like yo this is the long run yeah I recently got

5:58 to hang out with my in-laws and uh I always say got to because I actually really look forward to hanging out with them they're always been chill I think they're kind of they're younger because Nikki was like an oopsie baby it's like they were like 18 when they had her and so Nikki's like folks like her dad like a couple years years ago I'll never forget him like being him just talking about our family like me and Nikki's brother and her mom and and he's like this is our core and I I just about like got all choked up that's sick I was like damn I'm like ████ him he was telling you he's like this is our core well he was saying it to respect it oh I hope you thought of it I hope you thought it was in I hope you thought it wasn't you are and dude you're in the circle you need the Fockers in the circle yeah I mean no but I really thought that um because Nikki always told me she's like man I know he's brought guys home and I brought so many guys home I brought so many like different dudes home like many many different men

6:49 um and my dad only liked you and she's like trust me I brought a lot of guys and I was like wow this is really an honor you know I feel like you keep saying that thousands and thousands of guys and none of them can't tell you how many guys I've said many men many many but this guy but I think that it was because I just give him respect like when I met him like it's like shake the hand look at the eye like all that kind of ████ you know I can't see your eyes ████ do that ████ though you got a ████ girl but but I but yeah I know I I am but as far as what I could get better at for Nikki I think that I do an amazing job maybe you can just accept it what is it so maybe you can just accept the pillows oh not the pillows dude edit that out can't do that isn't it comfortable having a lot of pillows because I used

7:39 to judge that ████ because I'm like I only need like one or two and then after you experience the pillow game and you're like wow there's so many clouds to sleep on I don't think so Joe I mean they end up on the floor when you wake up but that's the thing it's like and then you gotta ████ put them all in the bed it's crazy that's Madness that's the definition you have to do it Hey listen I'm sorry I brought it up let's just move on I have to do it because she's like when you don't make the bed I feel disrespected and I'm like God oh yeah so then I gotta ████ take 89 pillows and put them in an arrangement damn well you could put them all in a sheets wrap it up tie it in a big size made the bed it's a dumpling since it's November you should make like a big ass Cornucopia just put pillows in it that is really good actually that's easy yeah um but no somebody I could actually

8:29 do better for Nikki I think it is prioritizing date nights again because we kind of we kind of moved into into Vegas and we ████ love it so much and we spent a lot of time like hanging out with neighbors and like friends and stuff but like bringing it back in and like we we do hang out at home a lot especially post color things got into that like kind of thing that everyone gets into where it's like we're gonna hang out at home and we're gonna watch a cool show or something yeah but I think making sure that we go somewhere and experience something together um prioritizing that like weekly or whatever we can do schedule wise would be agreed yeah I want to do that one that coveted flow really gets you yeah so comfy so nice it's too comfy yeah yeah because I would I would probably piggyback off that that's probably one of the things real original Nick I know but it's true though like you know feel free to add on to the conversation I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to um but no everything else I do is

9:19 perfect right about now I could probably shut up more I probably close my mouth more that'd be good at the house because you want me to add more when she's opening up about ████ maybe you're trying to solve ████ like we yeah like like we've a lot I relate to Steve a lot because when he talks about things with his significant other I'm like yeah I do the same ████ bro because you brought that up a long time ago around the show and you were talking about how like sometimes you're always like oh but how about did you try this did you try this and made me think about it this way and she's like shut the ████ up dude shut your goddamn mouth and I'm like yeah you're right this would make my life way easier so like shutting my mouth is probably definitely top-notch and I think across the board I think ████ in my mouth is very helpful

10:09 um but then also quality time like actually crafting times where so much of our day and when we hang out is with family members other friends and then like we just have all these events we have to ████ do and all this stuff and then we get wrapped up and we don't have any time for ourselves and that's lame so me and Steve are gonna double date dude we're gonna we're gonna figure it out but yeah no like sitting down and crafting time and figuring out what's creative to do with the signal others is tough I'm done a couple days sometimes it was a double date dude oh dude that's black dude no yeah maybe one time I don't I feel sick we should do a JK you know they they got the whole medical field thing that maybe they could talk about and then we we like the book oh yeah you can talk about work together they love that they love their work I'm sure speaking of I think a lot of us have kind of a blend of uh

10:59 family business experience like with our significant other right like you have a photo studio like we kind of you you have a podcast you know so it's like we have cats it's family that bland though is like it's a little bit it does make it where like it blurs the line between like are we talking about work or am I here supporting you and like we're venting yeah because then one can get mixed with the other and then so like but you know if your partner needs to vent and you just got to be there for support but then you're trying to like troubleshoot because you think it's a work thing I feel like that is what I wish I knew but you know because like girls are like really good at that like they'll be like okay it's it's that vent mode we just gotta get it out and then we could think about how we're gonna solve it and then move on right whereas like the way we do it I guess most guys

11:51 it's more like oh tell me your problem all right you should do this this and this and then we're like oh that's a good idea how about I do it like this and then you go back and solve the problem but then that works I think in a work environment because it's solution based but then my when she talks about work and then I'm also involved in the work it always goes to that so that seeps into the the personal aspect of your life yes yes it's hard to distinguish what you're actually trying to solve right because then it's like maybe I just needed like you said shut the ████ up and like oh wait this is event session so like let me just be there for that or I get a job with her I get a job with her and then then I can give her constructive feedback oh that's good I'll be a social worker with her if I'm her boss [Laughter] if I'm a co-worker so I I asked her if if you could preface it like is this event or whatever but then I also in the

12:44 moment it's hard because then she needs to get it out too and I get it so it's my last moment like do you want a solution or do you just want to listen instead of asking it's just you just preference it but isn't that that's also really hard for this isn't it also kind of condescending to say that it's like you want a solution honey or do you want me you want me to just well I guess I mean the tone really makes it it doesn't yeah it's like if I could just sit here and blink if you want you know it's a little bit I'm lucky because I get to communicate that way and then like it works but yeah like not everyone does so I I think it's all it's more about me being able to recognize that I need to communicate that because I just go immediately into oh you should do this this and this because I got the answer versus like oh that sucks tell me about your day you

13:34 know you're never with Mike song He's like I just need to talk right now I just don't give me Solutions I'm that guy I just need you to hear me no Solutions I think the most of the the Blurred stuff is when it's solvable issues that I have experience in so for example if it's like in like let's say um sales or management or something that she's just unsure of and she's annoyed about someone doing it a certain way and then I can't tell the difference between that and a work question and work annoyance because it is involving work and it's something that I know something about so then so then when it's too blurred like that then that's when it's like I see myself being too preachy or lectri or or bossy and then it's like oh

14:24 I should take a step back because that wasn't what what it was it's good to see that that's really good but then other aspects like you know I I think I I can clearly see the lines now whereas in the past I think like I didn't know even what venting was like when a girl just starts venting I would just start telling her oh that's stupid you got to do it this way like all dumb young boys right they all do the same ████ yeah and then later you go oh wait wait they they solve it differently going back to the Quality timeout aspect of it if you're already with that person all the time then it's difficult to want to spend more time because you want now you want alone time yes I think you need new experiences especially for a variety of different people yeah you need to just find things that maybe you both are interested in doing and yeah have an activity I think for me like most

15:16 I think it's like some of the common stuff like stop trying to have an alert go off when you go oh this is a teachable moment I should tell her this is how this goes I think I need to shut the ████ up when those things happen because they're not like we're both ████ learning yeah um and I think in general just this is a ████ heavy one to say but like I think I think I'm a I'm a really good boyfriend and I don't but I don't think I'm developing all of the best ways to be a good husband and I think those are a different like set of features can you yeah dive into that a little bit just like uh it could range from something so simple as like just knowing how to cook a lot of things you know like uh ways that I would be a good dad you know like things that maybe I haven't even thought about but like for so many years like we've been together like six years and I've

16:06 cultivated a lot of things that are really fun or really like uh you know we we have a great time together but in terms of like responsibility aspects or just like long-term big picture things like I I know I haven't thought about it as much so lately I've been trying to do more things like that are you trying to this could be very personal what colors if you want to even kind of ████ all day like that's why we dance I know let's talk about relationships they love that cutting everything well we got to be respectful right we gotta be open personal lives or personal lives we're not talking about ourselves anymore you're talking about somebody else exactly gotta be protective of our people um but you know are you trying to is it like something where you're like I don't think she's ready to be my wife yet or is it like you're trying to be even better for that step we're pretty open

16:57 about talking about what we want to do and I um it's more on my end like I think I don't think there's anything she has to change really it's just I think I'm such a I'm such a boy about a lot of things and I'm aware I'm like self-aware of that ████ like uh dude like I'm the way that I I kind of my mentality is by default is very much more like a like a guy and not like as man as it could be in my ideal so you're trying to make sure you're you're trying to mature your zany side or your wild side yeah I mean I mean I I want to retain those things but like I think in general life skills wise um there's I'm better at a lot of things that a man doesn't necessarily need and I think very core skills like this is a good conversation starter I actually want to expand on them but it's

17:48 already the 20 minute Mark should we do it yeah no but we already cut out 18 minutes of stuff yeah that's true yeah I think that's and that's something that every person like every guy will have their own Journey on that yeah but there is going to come a time where you will sort of see that shift and I think I'm just kind of late to the game a little bit you know like uh and like everything around the house like I tried to over the past couple of years I've tried to like find more practical uh skills like how to fix things myself how to like do things like stuff that I remember my dad doing probably at a way younger age than I did you know just like real skills you know um if you're not yelling while you're trying to fix something you're not a man yeah if your ass crack isn't sticking out up top you know what I mean you know just like different things and

18:39 you know I I try to provide in I think modern ways like I I'll order food all the time for her which is nice I'm hella skilled at that yeah I know but like I wanna also cook and I know she she would love that but rather than invest the time to get better at that there's it's so easy to just go oh well like she loves this I'll just order that but it's like I know that like in the long term like you have to learn how to do that very well and you know it's not something that just happens do you think our kids will be watching all that happened and then they're like on a JK later and they're like like man my dad used to order food like this I'm like I don't know how to do it that confidently like I'm like and now my kid's gonna go that's why the food sucks around here yeah because Dad can't cook or just in the future they just push the little buttons and just like little paste comes out and that's like the flavor of a cheeseburger

19:33 what I want to ask the question of is what is that definition of being that epitome of a man yeah because then because then for him like it sounds like your ideal is here and you're here and you're not there ready yet like you don't deserve being a husband and and you're not up to par to your ideal I think it's it's all along where you're shifting your focus it's like I don't expect to become the ████ you know Tim Allen of you know what my world is but I think like it's where I'm investing my awareness it's like oh like I I know that I'm doing this for this reason I like what what other motivations are to learn first aid other than to know that like oh if ████ goes down as the well you gotta learn first aid in order to get certain ranks in boy scouting so yeah but those are man

20:25 skills right because I know a lot of people with man skills but they're boys yeah so I think that's a good talk to talk about and part too it's a good talk to talk about don't forget that folks let's keep talking we did do we did do what's the definition of man when Joe was gone but we this is kind of a an extension of that yeah was it that in the context of like a trans person there was no no but this one this one's more sitting down and making sure that you know it's an intervention with Joe got it I got it this one's a gender role this one's a harmful gender role foreign

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