0:00 your female empowerer by ████ charging $5 a month for for a guy to jack off and come to you. That's Come on, man. >> Sounds kind of tight. >> That That is kind of cool. >> Would you rather have your mom have an Only Fans account or your daughter? >> My mom. >> Why mom? >> Cuz she has She's more charismatic. >> She needs dick in her life. >> Come No, no. Okay, I'll tell you this. At our age now, right? And imagine your daughter's 15. So, oh my goodness. >> How old did I say the wrong number? Did I say the wrong number? How old is she? >> Oh, why you got to put it there? >> Not legal, dude. She wouldn't be able to have one. >> I don't know how it works. I don't know how that ████ works. >> 18. 18. 18. >> Of course, it's going to be No.
0:52 >> 18. 18. >> 18. My bad. I don't know how it works. I never read the fine print. If I was younger, >> Yeah. I wouldn't want my mom to if I since I'm older. I'd rather have I would sacrifice my mom. >> Why you're going to have her last memories be making content? >> No, cuz it's like to me I'm like you're a ████ grown woman and a liberated grandma. >> Mhm. >> My daughter is like you're young, you have a whole life ahead of you. >> What if she's working at a Radio Shack? >> She's the last employee. >> She works the online I'm not actually against I'm not against the morality of it. I'm against the risk. So like >> Oh, right now a lot of the uh women who did porn and all that stuff now they're having kids and regretting it. >> So there's less risk in the in the
1:42 gushing granny section. >> Gushing granny. >> She's already lived most of her life. >> So like >> so she won't regret anything. >> If you're retired, pop your ████ ████ You know what I mean? You know what I >> But if you're if you're 18, it's like >> if you don't strike out, you're going to be ████ someone subscribed to your ████ for five bucks. You only had 50 subscribers. >> Okay. What if your daughter's 25? >> That's what I'm saying. It's if it doesn't pop off. Like, dude, you just showed everything for like 40 bucks. >> Joe is saying is your your mom is day old rice. You're either going to toss it or turn it into fried rice. M >> the daughter is fresh rice. >> It could be a spamubi. It could turn into sushi. The rice can turn into so many things. >> Great analogy. She's going to risk a a
2:34 husband. She's going to having a husband. She's going to risk the shame of like having a kid and like the kid grows up. Your mom's a ████ ████ All of that I'm going to try to protect her from. >> Okay, I got it. I instead Oh, okay. I see. But if I'm like 40 and my mom's like ████ 80 and they're making fun of me, fine. I don't give a ████ They're making fun of me. Ah, your mom's a sl. It's like I'm 40, dude. But and in high school, my reputation is ruined. >> But what about the memory of your mom? Like does that not ruin how you saw her previously? Like you >> She was a ████ Yeah, cuz I I would say my mom was uh was almost like a um like a heavenly
3:25 creature until >> she's a demon. >> Until you became older and then you're like, "Oh, you've been making your own mistakes and you are dumb and you're a human being, you know?" So, I'm like, >> "What's one more mistake? You're >> just going to make another ████ mistake." You >> You think having lunch with your mom after she her Only Fans launch would be different? I hope she's successful. Whether it's my mom, I hope she's successful. >> She's killing it. Yeah, >> she's famous. >> I think that my mom is so ████ innocent and conservative. I want her to do something that's liberating. >> Wow. >> I want her to be like, >> that's very nice. You want her to throw in a circle. >> I only have ████ two dicks in my life. >> Now I could have any ████ ████ me. And I was like, good for you. And then we could pound like that cuz I'm at the age where I feel like >> you're feminist. We're like,
4:15 >> we're like this. >> What if she wanted you to help? She's like, "HEY, I'M >> CAMERA. >> I'm doing a collaboration with this other >> I need you to collab with this performer. >> Um, and I need someone to help me film it." >> And I need you to help them promote it >> as a collab. >> Nah, help her film some stuff. >> She's like, "Hey, I want to buy ads on JK News." >> What the heck, dude? Really? >> You have to be video. >> I don't want to be involved. You got to shoot an ad for your mom's only fan. >> Put these flyers on the counter at June B. >> Oh my god. >> QR codes on it. >> Supportive but not invas like hey did you show up to my graduation? No. So ████ you ████ I ain't going to show up to yours. Like Joe, you didn't graduate. What are you talking about? She's like who graduated you? >> What if she's like hey Joe for my next
5:05 shoot I'm going to be Pocahontas. Take a picture for me. Can you get Darien to shoot my photos? >> Joel so big. Oh ████ dude. >> And I'm just like, "Oh, ████ me." >> Jo is a native ████ >> Oh god, dude. >> And I'm just taking pictures. >> Mom, you're doing an impersonation of >> that is way easier to stomach than your daughter, I think. >> Yeah, >> they're all bad. >> Why would you? >> Don't get me wrong, >> man. I don't know. Mom, you do daughter. >> Sacrifice that ████ >> Or you go triple suicide, homicide. >> Triple suicide, homicide. >> Triple suicide. How about you? How about you? You already have a daughter and a mom. >> YOU ACTUALLY OH MAN, you can imagine both. >> This is the closest. You have a daughter
5:56 and a mom. >> I would jerk off to my mother. >> What the hell? >> That wasn't even the ████ question. >> Okay, I'm sorry. >> One subscriber. I WONDER WHO THAT IS. Who is this? No. Okay. But would you Okay, Ryan, would you do it or your uh father? Mother or father? >> You or you have to open one? Oh, I let my dad do it. Oh, I think that'd be pretty funny. My dad has a good sense of humor. So, I feel like he's doing it for satire, but secretly likes it. >> Yeah. >> I feel like it's a man's job to ruin himself to make sure that the family can eat. It's just it's like Oh, but Oh, you mean like make my dad have to like against his will? >> He doesn't like it, but then you're like, "Okay, you do it." >> You got to set up the shoots. >> Oh, I would do it. I would do it myself.
6:47 I can't I can't make my dad do that. Like, he's a sex slave. >> Okay, but then owes you a lot of money and the only way for her to pay you back >> to pay me back. >> No, I can't do I'll do it myself. >> Show where the dad was doing this to make some money and he was riding a symbi and he got caught. >> Shane Gillis. >> Yeah, that ████ Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Only fans dad. Yeah. >> It's amazing. It's a good skit. >> So, you would go mom? I would go mom. >> Mom. Okay. You You would also go mom, huh? >> Yeah. I would have to. I don't have a daughter, >> but >> theoretically >> Theoretically, it's like no way. >> Would you rather sacrifice your daughter? >> Theoretically, your mom or your pug? >> Only pugs. >> And then every time your pug does it, you have to go go like this. >> My My pug, she >> she humps other girl dogs. >> She'll grab them by the hips. >> She already does lesbian porn. She's already in She's already in the game. She's very dominating. My My little pug.
7:37 My little Winnie. >> Oh, it's a girl pug. And then she would >> I have a boy pug. Yeah, I have a boy pug and a girl pug. >> Okay. Okay. >> And she already humps other girls. So, I think we have a star in her hands. >> You'd be willing to have a weird like dog site for your pug versus your mom having an only fans. >> My dog is very food motivated. So, I think it's a win-win for all of us. And she wouldn't know. She She would have a blast. I think >> she would have a blast. >> She would have a blast. >> But people are busting nuts to your dog, though. That's >> I bet there's some people out there that are busting nuts. >> But it's not dog to dog. It's like dog and some random guy. >> No ████ way, dude. Not my sweet little girl, dude. >> What? Are you crazy? >> Beiality? >> Yeah. >> Nah, dude. I can't do that. >> Okay, so your pug or your mom then? >> I already said my answer. It would have to be It would have to be my mom, I think.
8:27 >> Oh, is that bad? Why' you make that noise? >> I think it's bad no matter what. >> Yeah, it sucks. It's, you know, that's why the prompt is interesting. >> It's bad no matter what. >> It's a rock in a hard place. >> But it's funny that we've all picked mom. >> Yeah. >> Well, cuz I think Yeah. Mom's with day old rice. You're like, you don't have too many other options, so let's make turn into fried rice and call it a day. >> But what if it's like here's here's another conundrum, though. Like obviously like if your mom had to do it. >> She wouldn't want to do it. She just has to do it. And it's it's a sad thing for her to do it, right? >> Yeah. But then like what if you had a daughter that that was really her personality and she genuinely liked it. >> She wanted to be a ████ >> Some of them have that attitude, you know, >> as a daughter. >> Like that was her dream. >> Yeah. >> Like she looked to Only Fans girls and she said, "One day >> I mean >> I'mma ████ do it." >> According to OF girls themselves, they all really like it. >> But if you're not over 21, then it's
9:18 like uh then I would really want you not to do it because you might make the right decision. >> Yeah. Yeah. Cuz it's all it's like Yeah. If you're 18 or 19 or 21 or whatever, it's the same thing as a kid that's like, >> "I wish I could have candy at every meal, >> right? It's like you don't know enough. You don't know what you don't know." >> So, you think you want candy at every meal until you're like 18, you're like, "Damn, when I was five, I was ████ ████." >> And then your mom's like, "I want candy one more time before I die. >> I want to try a KitKat." >> Dude, at that age, I'm like, "You're 80. ████ be a degenerate. ████ do coke, do whatever the ████ you want. >> I do appreciate that. >> Like, you don't It's not like you have a whole life ahead of you. You got like nine years. >> It's like, mom, it's over for you. You might as well do this. >> Like, what do you Yeah. What are you
10:08 like saving yourself for? >> Yeah. >> But when you're 18, it's like, yeah, you have a whole life ahead of you. That's what I would say is, look, daddy would love to ████ jack off on camera and make a million dollars. >> What if your daughter says >> that would be my dream? Why are you hating on my female empowerment? >> I'd say that's nonsense and that's a lie, dude. >> Your female empowerer by ████ charging $5 a month >> for for a guy to jack off and come to you. That's Come on, man. >> Sounds kind of tight. >> That That is kind of cool >> for me. >> I wish I had that deal. >> Yeah, we wouldn't get paid at all. We'd have to pay somebody to look at our dick. >> That's usually the guy's case. Guys are paying only fans girls. That's where a lot of the money comes from. Look at my dick. Here's $5. Shame me. >> What? Yeah. What if your mom like you
10:58 you made your mom do it, but then she only was just rating penises? >> Wait, wait. >> Cuz that's a thing that girls do with Only Fans. >> That sounds like the best compromise. >> I don't think my mom would mind rate penis at all. >> Number three. This one is like a too curvy. >> Uh, I will give this one 7.5. See, that would be a much better content. >> It's a 7.5. This one 7.5 is like very good because I like vain. >> All right. Would you How about this? So, it's still the same stakes, right? Mother, daughter, OAF. But if you choose mom, you have to be her editor. >> Oh my god. >> I guess my daughter's hoing out. ████ this ████ And she has your mom's going to have a lot of notes. >> Joe's going to be like, "Hey, Ken, I need your help with something." Hey yo.
11:48 Yo, Candy Edits, where you at, brother? >> You got to give me a deal on these vids. >> Say, you guys don't have a choice, right? >> Yeah. If your if your daughter's just going to ████ do this, I hope to God she's successful >> because the worst the worst is you just gave that ████ all up and you're making a hundred bucks a month >> and it's only your classmates. >> I would hope I would hope more that she's highly unsuccessful and deletes it almost immediately and goes, "I suck." And then no one even saw it. >> But it's already Oh, so before anyone could look at it. Okay, that's that is that is actually best case scenario. But let's say but let's say it's already out there. It's already ████ out there. >> People are ████ leaking her ████ It's being passed around for free. She's barely making a ████ She's bar she can't even make rent on it or buy groceries.
12:38 >> And you're like, you're ████ masturbating, showing the world all this ████ You just risked it all and you're ████ not getting paid, too. That's We raise a better successful family than this. Yeah. I don't want her to be the crackhead of the industry. I want her to be at least a crack dealer. Damn. Like, do something successful. Make a lot at least so you could ████ cash out and say, "F███ it." All right. You did it. That's That's wonderful, girl. But ████ You need to make enough ████ you money so that you don't have to fall back and be a real estate agent or something. Oh ████ Oh ████ >> That's what's happening right now. A lot of real estate agents becoming only fans girls. >> Oh, they're going from real estate to only the other way around. >> No real estate to only fans. >> Oh, really? >> Cuz there's >> Cuz there's nothing to sell. >> There's nothing to sell.
13:28 >> Wait, there's nothing to sell. >> Yeah. >> Oh. Oh, >> not as much. >> Damn. >> I know. You bought a house, huh?
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