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Stop Showing Zoo Gorillas Videos from Your Phone!

#gorillas#toys#gorilla#playingoutside#rockclimbing
the transcript auto-captions · entered into evidence

0:00 the good anxiety man when you step into a Toys R Us and you just have sensory overload as a kid that's true yeah and then you put them put the toys in your shirt and then you walk out right yeah it's not what you guys do [Music] there's a Toronto Zoo I think it's called the Toronto Zoo is now advising its visitors to avoid showing videos and photos on their cell phones to its gorillas as they distracted oh yeah so people are going up to the girls to be like look look and then the gorilla's life oh ████ that's crazy good trip out probably that is me no but they're like super getting interested and like really wanting to just kind of like keep watching and being stimulated by so he wants a cell phone now yeah yeah this

0:51 thing ████ works on an ape brain too yeah ultimate dopamine hit I show my dogs and they go but gorillas be able to be like this though yeah yeah yeah I mean why don't you give them an iPad see what he does I want to see a gorilla with an iPad that'll be pretty funny quote unquote we just want the gorillas to be able to be gorillas yeah then let them go we want them to be as natural as possible then you just have them in the ████ zoo with no challenges and they're making they're making social media accounts for the gorillas anyway sure there is kind of an irony to this I would go full force if I owned a zoo I would put the gorillas inside like a human-like environment or VR yeah and I'll put them in overalls I'll be sick

1:41 too if you put uh VR inside of the gorilla yeah dude and then he can just play yeah one day it will be like today is Doctor day and then the gorilla is like wearing a doctor's outfit and he's doing he's in a hospital let's see what the doctor yeah Dr gorilla would do or one day he's like a barista so he's like a gorilla Barista it's like a Starbucks I kind of do you want to see after a gorilla on a phone for a whole day what his feet looks like like what's his algorithm because it might be what's this for you page I bet you it's it's just gorilla booty dude it's gorilla butt it's at Banana bananas gorilla's doing the cinnamon challenge it's just gorillas in the wild gorillas oh ████ oh damn that's so sad see

2:33 imagine what if they do that and then same thing that happens to us happens to them depression anxiety oh true we get fat yeah the gorillas with blue hair [Laughter] sad gorilla him I know that'd be crazy and then they start forming two groups one's like hardcore Christian gorillas once wearing bulletproof vest yeah nobody wants to do that let's give it to the gorillas teach them how to do it and do it Peter's gonna have a field day

3:23 with this one yeah except it might kill you too yeah yeah I think they can kill you but if we put them in a problem dude a chimp can kill us gorillas are even stronger that's a chip but gorillas are different you would trust a gorilla walking around the zoo emptying the trash I would that fool could throw the trash can at you and then you die but it would be cool like that's it they have a radio you don't think he's gonna while out at any moment did you not Watch Planet of the Apes I did I think a gorilla would be a better security guard than a janitor a bouncer yeah yeah a bouncer yeah well how do they know what to read when's your birthday

4:16 they could read they know sign language and ████ you see Jane Goodall to train them yeah but how do we tell them it's it's the year 2024 it's 99. they can't mask yeah that's what I'm saying they gotta read the expiration date they gotta learn all 50 states to see if it's a real ID or not you just have to scan it and if it goes ding then it's fine oh nice that's true they put them in TSA then I mean they would probably do a better job they'd be nicer I think but then now you don't even need them to read the ID now you just put your ID and it goes Ding and then there's a camera so then all the gorillas got to do is listen to the dude he was like now you can go yeah and maybe let's keep one thing about professions and industries I got another one so um humans be suing right yeah yeah humans be suing Good Start mainly Americans we

5:07 need more construction workers because there's a huge shortage you know so we need and gorillas are good at climbing like when you make skyscrapers I feel like humans look fragile like they're gonna fall and ████ but gorillas no problem dude strong too yeah but they'll be making rock climbing walls instead of stairs for humans they don't have to be the architecture dude they just gotta be the the hammer guys yeah they still make rock climbing stuff yeah make stairs okay rock climbing the guy to bring the steel beam up yeah we could do the gorillas for that because the cranes aren't useful yeah no because the crane guy's gonna Sue yeah oh you're right it's kind of like that old ass TV show we used to watch with the humans controlling dinosaurs remember that ████ Park trolling dinosaurs no like the they

5:57 they would have like dinosaur armies like you put like ████ missiles and Rockets on your dinosaur oh I kind of remember remember that ████ because they had toys and stuff like that yeah is this a cartoon yeah and then humans would control like I used to have these toys this is like the He-man era is that Cadillacs and dinosaurs I forgot but it was so you could have a dinosaur and then they would have all these missiles and weapons on it and you ride them you put like a saddle on it yeah wait that sounds familiar now yeah you need to bring that back I feel like Taiko will love that dinosaur is a missile hey it's pretty dope man kid toys like little boys toys do they have the same cool ████ that what does that sound weird it sounds like a lot of it is pussified like they don't have like ████ warrior ████ no more and like straight up realistic looking guns are all out of time they have social justice league a lot of it is pride though that's whack

6:49 so it's like Ninja Turtles but they have a protest sign and ████ there's no more nunchucks nunchucks I think are okay they slip right in the uh just mainly guns and stuff that's whack GI Joe don't come with like guns and stuff Joe's guns shot lasers and they never hit anybody yeah and if it hit somebody that guy magically ended up a robot that's true yeah I remember buying airsofts all day and just playing outside with it now we can't even do it well even in the even in Ninja Turtles Leonardo always had swords but he always stuck into the roof and kicked you yeah yeah it was a sick move though in the comics yeah but not in the not in the actual kid stuff dude he's not around kids I see kids they'll

7:40 turn a ████ rock into a toy in Hawaii Joe's always around kids those kids are on their ████ iPads all the time a lot of kids are in Hawaii is different though you see kids come out the bus with boogie boards yeah yo let's go hit that ████ wave I think Hawaii's still 30 years old Hawaii still feels normal though you see kids roughhousing playing playing outside that's true in La I feel like I don't even see any ████ kids playing outside no more nowhere in the exact same neighborhood that I played outside in yeah isn't that crazy except the Jewish communities when you're around Fairfax and Melrose they're still normal they're still they're just on a dirty ass couch jumping outside what are we saying about Orthodox Jews and Melrose I love them

8:30 is that what he said I love them oh man kid's not kids no more man oh you know how you can tell if kids don't play with toys then they wouldn't be stalking them as much in Walmart and Target and the biggest content for kids online is toy reviews right yeah that's true that and like baby sharks dude forever right forever I don't think I've seen a kid bored with like like stop just completely not doing toys like I've always seen kids like ████ hold and stuff I do think the toy era for Our Generation though is way different from than we have the best toys and ████ we have so much variety because when I was in um I was the other day I was just swimming and these kids had water guns like ████ Desert Eagles and ████ and they're just filling it up ████ yeah like and I was like

9:21 oh they still sell those plastic squirt guns I thought that they would be too woke for that ████ those are those are evergreen toys California oh but kids like playing with guns they like turning in love Yeah a stick is a gun yeah but you know what the the I'm sure the market is lower only because of uh fortnite online yeah because now it's like you don't have Toys R Us you don't have KB oh you don't have all these like stories because everyone just buys toys online KB Toys but that's like different because when you're looking at like a picture on Amazon it's different than when you were at the ████ store and you would just see every action figure lined up and you're trying to go through them to see where your favorite characters are yeah and then like all the Spider-Man Wolverines are gone so you just settle for Omega Red Omega Red all they have now is Target

10:11 that anxiety of the good anxiety man when you step into a Toys R Us and you just have sensory overload as a kid that's true he's just pissing your pants and you're running everywhere and then you skip those two aisles that's all pink and for girls and then you just put them put the toys in your shirt and then you walk out right yeah it's not what you guys do that's true does taika know that feeling of going into a toy store not like a 100 toy store like Toys R Us but if we go to a Target he always wants to stop by the toy section oh yeah that's only like a couple aisles like the whole it's an amusement park but nowadays though like as far as like toy selection accessibility target has is the number one dude no one like Worldstar gets pretty Walmart oh yeah Walmart yeah yeah I just remember always

11:01 trying to get like the Super Soaker with the backpack and everything like that like the six canisters and I would run over to my parents they'd be like no yeah I'm not gonna pay two hundred dollars do you remember where they had a suit but Tommy has one I know Tommy's a loser had a Super Soaker that had like an eye piece and it was voice activated no I remember that commercial the kids going fire fire and it's like an ear and it just shoots out and it worked like ████ yeah yeah I heard it worked like really badly dude water water fights were the best though like having war with water guns like we had a Gatling gun one that was like on a ████ tripod and then when you hit the button it would go like battery operated yeah that was so and no matter what somebody's still getting hit in the face with a water

11:52 balloon and makes them cry yeah as always yeah dude when you're a little kid Super Soakers actually hurt because you it's like a lot of pressure yeah you gotta go like this yeah like this and then you go I don't know it's so sensual man bring back war and guns dude break back whoa but they still have Super Soakers right yeah I don't think so I don't see anyone playing with them they just make them very colorful right and very expensive they were always colorful but yeah they were they were just badass oh yeah literally like Uzi guns they don't do that ████ no more does uh taika do gun fights with his they run all over the house and shoot each other oh I just say not the face but they could shoot whatever else oh they actually have projectiles like Nerf yeah yeah like little darts that come

12:42 out Nerf Nerf is amazing I love Nerf I had this bow and arrow where it shot one giant missile you just had one shot so you have to make a count and this was uh I was like 25. oh no those are good I named it Mike dong after your buddy wow what a name and it whistles right yeah it's accurate as ████ dude [Music]

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