0:00 [Music] ladies and gents welcome back to JK news out of the closet where Steve is out of the closet on how pounding on Nikki limo is the best decision he's ever made pounding he's a ground and pounder word for word that's that's a fact man that is a fact he's always sparring with her say that right now I uh I think he's talking about so through my buddy Mike Gallagher right the most pimp all time because he greased the skids for me and limo big time right so uh I go I'm going through a breakup very public breakup you know I got Hollywood helicopters and that it's very annoying then um you know we're all we're
0:51 everyone's like it's a buzz in the tubers scum Community it's like oh they broke up what TMZ's on it dude yeah yeah so then um well then Mike uh is at a birthday party for I believe it was Horton at my favorite spot shout out El Compadre that's my favorite Mexican spot in LA because the Margaritas are so good the food is mid the salsa is excellent he took me there my favorite spot no but the cuz the RAS the FL salsa the salsa is what I go for we also like salsa but yeah it was a good salsa yeah bomb fire salsa um so yeah we they were there and then limo is basically saying like she's she has one Rita doesn't take that ████ much that's why I like her so much and then she's like telling Gallagher about how she likes me he's
1:43 like oh well you know him in there El Compadre he's like oh you know him and uh you know what's her name broke up cuz he forgot her name already cuz she's a ████ zero no I'm kidding that's that I I don't think that she's really nice just doing B just doing B okay so so then um then um he's like oh she's like oh well I really I want to wait um I would want to wait to get with Steve till he's like in a better place and he's trying to be a rebound G's like oh you you really like him huh and she's just like you know and then he's like well you want to do a sketch with him or whatever and then he wrote a ████ sketcho he's such a pimp he's such a pimpal f International pimp International pimp he um the sketch is like we're supposed to make out it or whatever oh my God exactly good exactly doesn't get any
2:33 better than that that's a homie dude that's I'm telling you bro an alleyoop of the cent alop of the century and it's not weird or skey that he did that because he already knew that Lima liked me so he's just like ████ Bo boom he's he's putting Legos respect for both parties yeah but where were you with this uh in a very dark place no uh I was I was actually you know what's funny I was actually at one of the God it was like the YouTube comedy awards at the time oh wow and I was dodging ████ a little bit credit to me shout out Steve no because like I was newly single and there was a chick who was like gone in for me apparently and I I don't really have very good whatever you call it gar garar I don't have good guy though I think it's just game I I I don't know if it's that I think I have a pretty good game creator I think I have really good game just knowing when someone likes you
3:23 I don't know when people like another Creator was gunning for you so yeah another Creator another tubers gum was was after your boy right and and I and I am I [Music] immediately I this is one of it's a dirty trick that I did it's a dirty trick so not kidding when I say this I was really I was very moved on from me and my ex because she had cheated on me so that's a good reason pretty easy to move on to sail to sail ahead I know the winds right of like change are on are at my back if that happened it's like okay we're good so so then um this chick is like moving in on me at the tuber scum Comedy Awards and and then I I remember she was like Hey so like what are you doing like this weekend or whatever and I was
4:13 like I think I I think it's a little too early for me to go anywhere I'm still pretty hung up about um everything that happened and that was like my wow so she wanted you more she was well I don't know but so then so then right after that I'm doing the sketch with limo and every time that we were filming this sketch she's jumping on me and like I have to catch her and like I don't know if you guys noticed thing this thing about Nikki but she has a gigantic ass so it's very difficult to catch her and actually catch her by the legs and sometimes I was accidentally you know like but but catching her this way and I'm I'm a gentleman bro my ████ mom would kill me if I was any other way but that was really hard to dodge that
5:03 ████ ass coming at you every time and ni Lio wasn't exactly upset about it I'll tell you that so it just turned into a sketch where I mean I think Gallagher had US Film us me catching her and then we're making out like 70 times not right that we need another take he's the ████ homie get this get this this how that's a homie that never makes a sketch not kidding what a guy did they even did they even post it yeah they posted but they took all that out all that's out International pimp and then and then he gave you a hard drive of the clip still I'm telling you the guy's a ████ G I love him forever he knows that um damn that's sick yeah sick sick move sick guy for alltime guy for sure and then yeah so me and limo it's hot
5:54 and heavy right away just out of curiosity cuz he's already like not a man but like a wing he's my best man at the wedding yeah uh from the moment that uh at the margarita place where he finds out that she's into you till the moment of you guys shooting and you're just four days days four days it's record time yeah we could cuz we could just pop up and shoot pretty quick by then cuz like things were popping off pretty pretty good so if you heard Nikki story she's been wanting Steve yeah she was wanting me for a couple months by then and she was actually telling her her friend at the time she's like she's like I just want a guy who will treat me like I want a guy like green I'm just going to wait for GU T green to come along she didn't think that I was going to become available and a lot of people didn't because it seemed like I was like basically forever with this chick at the time we just gotten two dogs and ████ so what was her like how did she know like of you or like about you or like the
6:45 character that like she was into because of you okay so we were on the same sketch team together totally sketch we seldom worked together but we got to work together specifically on we did this um series for 3 years in a row called Valentine's Day from hell where basically I play a character who always forgets that it's Valentine's Day and he has to like he has to lie cheat steal do whatever he can to basically get his get his ████ like to think that he knew it was Valentine's Day and he hooked it up it's like every dude ever yeah yeah yeah so we did this for three years we did this for three years and I actually am really proud of that series I haven't watched it a long time so don't quote me on that if it's not any good now exactly so um but we shot that the first time with um my friend Alana who's a very funny comedy writer shot the second year with Nikki and this was the year of my
7:37 breakup basically but it hadn't happened yet so we were both commiserating about Valentine's Day on set and she she was we were just like you know between I don't know what they have to do for tubers scum to do lighting but Michael always had good lighting always had good ████ so he was like setting up something and we were talking and bullshitting and um she was just talking to me about Valentine's Day and what she was going to do for her dude and what I was going to do for my chick at the time and we were both kind of like damn that's sweet you're you're ████ dope and all this stuff and then she was like do you like want to marry her and I was like that was already when I had found out about the cheating stuff and I was like I don't think so I was like I think you know we'll just see what happens or whatever so you guys want to know a ████ story yeah I thought you were in the middle of
8:27 a Story Another Side Story bar double right now with the tone change she kissed my friend which friend friend Shane Dawkins you ever heard what she kissed on Shane Dawkins that was the cheating moment I thought he was gay yeah well he is her buy or something but yeah so that was kind of wow who made who made that move breaking news who made that move she did or he did I don't know but you know whatever that was the thing so like I was like damn was it like accident was it like inent I think it was like you know I was like oh my God there's so many ████ views you know and just get caught up in the views how did how did you and Shane stay you get caught up in the how did you and Shane stay friends after that well we had a oh we he was afraid of me for a bit for a minute and then we had a good
9:17 talking about it and like yeah but you had also already moved on by I had already moved on by that point yeah y y but was he like and I B ████ I bang the ████ out of his ex-girlfriend oh that made I guess that made it double today video is brought to you by the day let drop so I love traveling but what sucks about traveling is that it can get expensive pry yeah cuz you got three main things you got to focus on you got the travel part oh yeah then you got the lodging and then you got the food and you got and you got complaining friends and and you want to get rid of them so you're like you know what let's just get rid of these guys and then we'll just do it the people that are cool Y and out of these three there are people out there that can help you hack the system with a specially the traveling and also the lodging which is why I love the daily drop and and I know this information and I've been hoarding um how to like travel hack and use points and all that stuff
10:07 but the daily drop is actually going to share this information with you because they're not like me so join 1 million readers and learn how to travel around the world for nearly free with Miles and points for under 5 minutes a day and in less than 5 minutes a day they teach you to earn and redeem miles and points for epic travel experiences see for yourself why over 1 million readers start their morning with daily drop subscribe Now using the link in the description to get started on earning towards your next dream travel experience I did not do that so so then um yeah so then um you know me and Nikki are on set and we're commiserating and that was I guess where that spark started because she was like my relationship's lacking and I was kind of like intimating that mine was but I was I'm a rer dude I didn't say ████ about it I was just like I'm not thinking about marriage right now you
10:57 know that kind of thing and then um that kind of greased the skids and then I guess that's where her Crush began with me and then uh yeah it all came together when Mike's having us do 75 takes and me trying to not grab her ass grab her ass and then during this during this thing I was like hey you want to see this ████ we were talking about this movie Great Gatsby at the time I was like you want to see this ████ Bosman one yeah the Bosman one with Leo love that movie with Leo yeah and I was like I was like let's go see it and she's like yeah I'm ████ down let's go and so then when when you initiated that question were you like you know I mean oh uh was that that's like you know I mean was it just like I don't know you want to just I was locked in no no no by the way never do that kids again I could just talk to this camera and you could like hear about me talking about I burned my foot when I was 5 years old and get nothing out of it or you could hear like hey if you
11:48 want to ask a ████ out ask her out with intention not only did I let her know that it was going to be a date I made sure that she know it was going to be a date because I well well not even just that I just that's respect I texted her and I was like just so you know you're not paying for a goddamn thing right and yeah and I'm picking you up at whatever o'clock and I'm wearing a magnum already that's it got the Magnum on and you stayed hard the whole time stayed hard the whole whole 4our movie so then I picked her I picked her up I was so nervous right picked her up my chili red Mini Cooper right pack that ████ in and then um I got lost on the way I've been to this like movie theater like a bajillion times since in Burbank
12:38 I got lost on the way I ended up driving the other way I drove South how do you drive south if you head to Burbank what the ████ are you doing bro I was just so ████ nervous I was like I haven't been on dating so long what the ████ going on crazy and then um yeah so I was very nervous she was clowning on me the whole time which I love so it was already like just the B good B mate right and then uh yeah we got to the movie oh no we went to Sushi first I didn't really eat sushi but I knew she liked sushi so I took her to this like hole in the wall Sushi you was really about it I was about it dude yeah exactly true Rider I'm I'm a ████ intentional person so so we we're eating sushi and then dude I swear to God it's like 3 hours goes by and it was like nothing it was just like nothing happened it was we we missed the movie you know we just it was just like honestly just the way it is with us
13:29 always where it's just so easy never had an easier time with anybody why did you miss were you making out the whole time or would you mean I was finger finger banging around the table mouth through the California rooll talking conversation that annoying talking through the whole movie no we were at Sushi not they missed the movie hour of sushi missed the movie I missed that part showing he missed the movie then what we should have done probably what we should have done probably was like go somewhere because it was such a great conversation but we ended up just in the movie but couldn't get in the movie so that's why every time I talk about like that I have the ticket stuff from that day it says Star Trek 2 Into Darkness because we had to buy Star Trek 2 to sneak into gas yeah so that's what we did and it worked out cuz like they do goddamn two hours of preview now so it worked out great and and then we watched
14:19 one of the more boring movies I've seen in a long time only because I was just actively thinking about her and the conversation we just had and just like replaying a billion jillion times in my brain and like perfect night then like like in my own way in international pimp and I would never say that normally about myself on our way out at the AMC Burbank there's like this like three flights of stairs Nikki limo is very clumsy human being Nikki limo green now my wife very clumsy human being always has been on our first date she almost whiffs it down the stairs I grab and stop her basically stopped her from killing herself she almost died you stop time yeah basically and then dude she was she like I'm talking top stair force was going down like she could have gotten seriously hurt and I grabbed that ████ by the ass by the titty no this time by the shoulder by the shoulder
15:10 that's a clutch move and then I got to do what I always wanted to do put a boot on her neck now this much later I took her back to her apartment and then we kissed and I got to grab that big ████ ass with intention this time kiss where Kiss where cuz in the in the apartment or I kiss her outside at the door like a gentleman godamn but then you went from back to she said come up she just come upstairs and come in my ass and I said absolutely not I'm a gentlemen not of the first one not on the first date he told her absolutely I gby so he's like can we make upstairs the second date the car I was like first of all my mother would kill me if she ever heard this story I can't do anal on the first night I can't do that on the first night so yeah I got to grab the third that's a that no the the ass grab that's a true I was like dude I finally get to grab this thing that I've been you know what I
16:01 mean with intention with intention intention so yeah that was pretty sick and then sick and then um apparently she I so I told Mike right away cuz we were writing together told him the next day I was like I'm going to marry this chick I'm in ████ love with this chick and he's like what the ████ cuz it was already crazy enough that we were dating because we of marriage sketch including come in the ass yeah and it's actually officiated and legal he's like oh I got you Steve he goes she can't leave now can't leave now he hires other actors as actual efficient damn no so so I told him the next day I was like yeah man I'm in love I'm in love with this ████ already uh and then she had texted her friend while she was in the bathroom at the AMC yeah and she was her friend's like how's it going like you've been wanting to go on date with him for
16:51 a long time and then she's like do you want chicken or steak at the wedding pretty pimp has a journal entry that seen that I've seen it's dated it's like multiple months before we ever went on a date or anything and she says I just I'm going to wait till I find a guy like Steve Green and you actually got a Steve Green not some knockoff insane so kids again I can talk to you about how one time I fell asleep and like this guy was like gring me keeps making these random ████ or or or I could I could tell you something that you could actually take away and apply to your life right if you're when you're around people do within you know be be yourself obviously but dude ████ sit up with your back straight like like treat people well and like you don't know who's watching right like like I didn't know N I was taking
17:42 care of my my chick at the time that Nikki was watching that going like why doesn't some ████ guy do that for me like cuz I would you know I guess she's told me this many times she's like every time you guys did anything you took care of everything she's like you like she's like I remember one time I came to this bowling thing and and you came up you got me from the parking lot you walked me in you got me shoes the boning shoes you made sure I was out of the party and he and she's like and I watched you the whole night you did that for everybody who came in there and you made sure she didn't have to lift a finger on her birthday and I was like well yeah that's you know that is just how I try to be how how I try to operate in a relationship you don't know who's watching cuz I was doing all that work at the time for this chick who like a gay dude but it's fine but it's fine fine very common and but you got lucky
18:32 cuz Nikki Nikki standards so low that you just had to be a decent human being and she's like he's amaz honestly in this primordial soup of of like all this like guy ████ out there right now where like guys are like I don't know what it's like to be a man anymore all this ████ it's like dude base level ████ you ████ ████ Bas level ████ it's not that hard but but guys don't do it anymore and I I I'm sure some of you do right but I'm talking like walk outside of the ████ when she's walking on the sidewalk why so that if somebody pulls up right you you throw her in the bushes right that's why you do that's actually true that's exactly why you do it so but then like they do want that you do that you get the door I had this chick one time I was doing makeer stuff and this ████ is like why you get the door I can get the door I'm like cuz the door is ████ dirty it's dirty and
19:23 she's like oh yeah that's true immediately sweer yeah there's ████ on it yeah yeah it's like I'm like doors because I said because doors are dirty and she was like all right you know what I mean that's a much better reason than anything but ultimately it's about respect it's just about respect that's it it's about respect I do get the door for everybody go to 7-Eleven and get the ████ door get the door for me yeah that's it but but but that's what you do right so you know you never know who's watching good manners right be nice to people it's so important and yeah that's ultimately how I bag that ████ and that's the best decision I ever made because especially because and and and I never sto dating her ever not one day I I don't fart around her you know I don't like do the like I am serious I don't we we have different bathrooms and when we had the
20:14 same bathroom I was just like on my best ████ Behavior you know what I mean um but like I really believe that that stuff can erode your relationship over time it's not about now it's about time yeah keeping the magic alive exactly keeping the dating energy Spirit Alive you don't think that like for example like Bary diarrhea is all over her walls while she has roommates that takes the relationship to another level she never saw I clean it before she came isn't that romantic is tough dude clean it before she came that's like romantic too right never done that that's some Dumb and Dumber ████ all I'm saying kids is there's levels to there's levels but no but if you keep dating the person ████ in the backyard too truly truly truly on camera if you keep dating the person um you you can you can navigate everything and and also echoing what what um Nick was saying yesterday which I think if anybody in this room is my
21:06 spirit animal about how they attack relationships it's you brother like I really admire the way that you talked about how like you work things out with your chick because you guys communicate well and I think that that is so ████ important I wish I could just grab Everyone by that ears and just be like this is the thing to listen to don't like go into it with your jersey on ironic right and go like I'm trying to stick up for my team the Colts are the best ████ team in football and then she's like yeah but I like the Packers and it's like the col are the best team in football listen to her right let her say her ████ about whatever it is like you know like like I think this because I'm coming at it from this angle and if you're the whole time going yeah but my team no my team you're never going to meet each other in the middle you're just going to be in combat active combat
21:57 so you you come home it's a com comat Zone because you guys have so much resentment for each other if you attack the resentment and early and every time that you can feel resentment start you talk about it as a as a couple you can clean all that out like a toothache and like you don't have to worry about it later on right you fill that ████ in and then you move on right but people don't do that and ultimately I swear to God on my life my relationship with Nikki is better than ever every year it gets better because we keep attacking it that same exact way and cuz she makes the most money and she makes the most money and I don't make any money I don't even know how to make money I lose money but yeah you know what I mean like where it's like it's like um it just resolves everything and there's no resentment I think the number one killer of relationships is resentment and uh
22:48 and early on we almost broke up because I was resenting over some ████ and then one day she's we're getting into a ████ fight about how many times you brush your teeth in a day and next thing I or and and also compounding that with like how come you wash dishes like this you should wash dishes like this I'm like how about I ████ just be single I don't have to ████ deal with your ████ you know what I mean like that and I dumped her and then she ████ flipped my my beautiful coffee table that I got from Ashley's Furniture it's not cheap not cheap it's not cheap that is not your cheap it was a set it was a set and you did that as a young 20s yeah and so now I got a couch that doesn't match anything anything you know and that sucks she so she flipped it into my weight at the time I had like a 50 pounder cuz I've been curling 50s ████ 10 years you don't move up don't move up Progressive don't move up it's so hard it's so you
23:38 shouldn't curl don't start curling 50s it's really hard don't even try it no so um yeah so she flipped in my ████ weight and then it broke my C coffee table and then um I remember I told the story a billion times but it's so important like I remember sitting there with myself and going I'm about to blow the best thing the best person I've ever been with because I am being Petty which I am a petty person you guys know that but I can't be Petty to her and I and I immediately I just had this like understanding of like this is it like this is one of those Forks in the road this is one of those moments in the ████ movie where like if you don't do this you're going to go on down a different path this is your destined path you need to go down this path I walked back in the bathroom and I I already knew this I said to myself if you go in there and you say I'm sorry and I don't want to break up with you actually I'm so sorry you can never do
24:28 this sh to her again ever again you can never use we're breaking up as a weapon on her again which is something I had done before to a chick so like it's time to move on it's time to move on grow up be a big boy right pull your pants up nice and high and and I went back in the bathroom and I said you know I'm sorry I didn't mean that I don't know what came over me and I will never do this ████ again never did been with this ████ for 11 years been pound on that ████ little py for 11 and 1/2 years that's tight literally yeah thank you it is it is closes up good too what a story what a thanks J great story
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