0:00 [Music] Real real question. Okay. Yeah. Would you let your wife um perform at an amateur strip club just to feel sexy? What if she was like, I want to I want to feel sexy. Is that because you're Would I let her? I don't know. Like sometimes they just come up with this idea of like I want to I feel like I'm losing it. and I want to feel like I'm at my aame and they're like I'd be like why now? Yeah. You know, you know what I would say? I would try to uh dissuade her by being I would neg her. I would be like, "Oh, so if you want to so so dancing like a ████ will make you feel more sexy." I would say things like that. But if she's like, "Yeah, all my friends said it was a good idea." Um, define amateur strip club.
0:50 Well, amateur night at a strip club. Oh, good play. Act like no like auditions. Is there open mic strip clubs? Yeah. Yeah. There's auditions. Yeah. Yep. They Yeah, that's right. Crazy Horse does auditions and into them. I'm like, "This is cool." It's an actual like performance night where you watch people audition to become actual. So, you you're just you're just they they open it to the public crazy girls in on Sunset. Yeah. Mhm. It It would have to depend on how much she talks about it and how much she bugs me about it. Cuz you might get to your limit and you're like, "You're annoying me now." Yeah. Just ████ go. Like, so there's a chance. Just get just get it on your system. My gut is like you guys are all cucks. I'd be like, "F███ this ████ We're becoming Muslim now. I didn't know I was a cuck." Let me let me entertain.
1:40 All right. Here we go. Here we go. I need some more details and context though on how these work cuz I've never been to one. Aris. Yeah. So, if somebody wants to do like amateur show pro night, you go to pro night, baby. I'm going to go pro. I'm going to go pro heavy hitters night. I do I do the world championships only. No playoffs. They go there and then to like audition to be a stripper. They're like fully stripping and then there's also just like a regular audience. So like you're going to bear all Yeah. And that's Welcome to the stage. No. No. No. No. Nina. No. They like make a nickname. You did not just give her a super name. Nia Nina. Nina. Tell her to change her IG right now. Tell her to change her. You better give everybody a stripper ████ name right now. Okay. All right. No. No.
2:30 Um, let's see. I think like Nick said, if I'm really entertaining this, I would have to actually believe that that's something she really wanted to do and not some like really So, is it out of character weirdness? Is it not good enough that she says that she got advice from her other girlfriends and they said that's ████ her friend? It's not enough. Who which ████ told you this ████ Yeah. your dumbass little friends told you this. And I'm like, are your friends doing it with you? And if all the friends are doing it and all the husbands are going, I'd be like, "This could be interesting." You know what I'm saying? Now it's going to be made way better. Compromise. Pro nights. That's a good compromise, man. Every all the dudes are there in sunglasses with sunglasses on. They're all looking up at the ceiling like But we know where their eyes are, brother. They're like this. They're like
3:20 the glasses where you can see down. Those they're looking this way with her. Oh, I guess Nah's coming on. I better uh I'm I'm not going to look. No, no, the Asian ice thing. Honestly, if Tiff asked me that, I'd be like, "All right, we got to find a couple's counselor." We got to do couples therapy. What if it's a couple's counselor that wrote a book and they're the ones who said women should do that? Got to find a different cuz you know that ████ happens all the time. Some new medic there's always some like new more medication. I think babe more meds more CC's. There's always a new author that comes out with some kind of book for women and they give them this crazy advice that like you know I mean men happens to men too but that is like those cosmopolitan things where it's like ways to drive him crazy 75 ways to drive him crazy and all of a sudden you're with your chick at the time like cuz I was in like high school and like chicks
4:10 blow me and then she like tries to reach for my behold like what the ████ are you doing? She's like I read about it in the in the ████ number 37. I'm like get the ████ out. But I mean to be fair, men's magazines also might suggest cheating. Who knows? Like there's always something that men are being told too. So it's like we get it. We're not saying that only women have no honest answers for the first uh 10 minutes. All right. No honest answers. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I'd probably say yeah. I'd probably say hell yeah. I'd say let's ████ do this, babe. Can I I'd say can I announce you? I'd be like, well, please welcome to the stage, Nikki. Licky the dicky. That's good. That's good. [Applause] standing. Oh, dude. Everyone's going to stand up. I'm like, that's my wife right there, boys. Now he's winning this video. God damn it. Who are boys? You cheering while she's stripping is hilarious. We have to announce our wives. Yeah. Yeah. That means you also go up to all the
5:00 other dudes that are in the room that you don't know. You're giving them ones to like help support your wife. Hey, hey, hey. The boys and I have a bet. If she doesn't get the the most amount of dollars, we're breaking up. Look, she really likes she really she collects $2 bills. So, make sure she gets these. She Well, you don't think my wife is hot? Touching is okay. Touching is okay. Just get up there. $2 bills only. Nikki has a collection of $2 bills. Yeah. So, be sentiment. Sackage away at night. For Tiff. They're throwing dollar coins. She loves dollar coins. Dollar. It's all bruising her. They're throwing vintage end tables. Please stop throwing. If Tiff Tiff is into ████ seashells right now. If people were just throwing her seashells, she'd go ████ nuts. She'll be like, "Yo, she's grinding on that pole after she sees those seashells." She puts her ████ on the boat ████
5:50 opening like crazy. See those seashells? Someone tosses a starfish necklace. Make a nice necklace out of these. Afterwards, you go through the wall. Oh, this is going to be sick. You say no under all circumstances, even the imaginary ones. No honest answers. So, you lie. Lie by the gates not been lifted. Yeah, dude. We got Nikki Licky the Nikki over here. No, no, Nina. Introducing the banana stroker. She's Russian, I think. Croa. Yeah. Yeah. I don't actually think that she was doing it to get me to get like riled up and be like, "No, babe." Cuz then she wants me. She's like, "Oh, he still loves me." That's what I would think. I'm like, "All right, so you want me to ████ prove this ████ and be like, "No, ████
6:41 You ain't ████ doing none of that ████ You're my woman, you know. And then I and then and then she and then later she'll be like, "No, I I actually want to strip." And I'm like, "Oh, ████ for real. I want to strip." I'm like, "Really? Ladies and gentlemen, blood." Ladies and gentlemen, it's about to be a severe weather warning. Coming to the stage is the smack attack. Smack attack. Weather warning. I love when they do that ████ you know. She's doing no bits tonight. 100% no comedy. All sexy. It's like a And it's like a lifting hydraulic press to reveal, but she comes all Hello. Hello. Hello. It's me. Smack. Straight from down under.
7:31 Bet you never seen me like this. Man, you really sexualized this girl, dude. Yeah, I ████ love it. Would you say no to smack? How much time? I think you would have I think you would have a full-blown existential crisis, bro. Yeah. I Oh, yeah. The real answer. Yeah. No. No. Honest answer. Yeah. Not yet. Okay. Not yet. We'll round it out wholesome and ████ I would have to make sure that it's it's the best possible like the nicest strip. I'm not letting her do some like crappy one that everybody's like got in free. That's true. Not the rhino. Not doing the rhino. I don't. He's going to the fancy ones that have I only know the nice ones. See? No, he's going to the fancy ones. Sappires. Sapphires Vegas. The one with the buffets. Sapphires Vegas is like huge. It's nice. Yeah, I like that one. This is a really nice name. It's like
8:21 stories high. Great bathroom. That's good. I think Smack Crazy Horse is probably nice right now because it burned down so they had to redo it. So, it's like refurbished. It's like Renault. But doesn't But then Hustler, doesn't that one have a poo? Yeah, the top. I think Smack would be good at playing a big room cuz she's she can get the back row. Like she's good at like doing live shows. So small. She's throwing t-shirts out. It would be insulting and I would, you know, as a freaking as that guy in her life, I would just be like, "You're better than that." You know what I would do? I would I would let her do it and I would make sure that she has the most horrible experience so she would never want to do it again. How do you do that? You ████ make sure that everyone goes, "Boo, ████ ugly b████." Joe before the show. Doing it to feel sexy though. No, that's why she does it and she never wants to do it ever again because if she likes it, she goes, "Oh, I might do this like every week." Like, it's such a good
9:12 booster. I mean, you don't want her to ████ get any confidence. But how do you also solve the issue of her feeling unsexy? Cuz she might do something even crazier after that because she's on a quest to feel sexy. I don't think she's putting herself out there after she gets booed and called an ugly ████ I think that's a one and done right there. Dude, Joe's greasing the audience. He's giving him tomatoes and a couple dollar bills. He's like, "Chuck these." Dude, here's a onion. Their lines are on the tomato. Ugly ████ Get off the stage, ugly ████ They have sides. They have sides. Stand up and throw some tomatoes and throw it at her. I always thought it was weird where people threw vegetables cuz I'm like, you came to the show with vegetables in the 1600s. It was it was a part of it was snack. That's a snack box. Here ye here.
10:03 You ugly ████ Yeah. Whenever they didn't like the Yeah. And I'm like they came to the performance with vegetables. We're at the market. Rotten veggies. Yes or no to her actually doing it. ████ no. What? No, man. Why? Cuz my wife isn't a ████ hoe for the world to see. So, how do you help her make her feel sexy? I don't. I'd be like, "B████, you're ████ aging. Like deal with it. Be grateful with it. Be stoic. You know what I mean? You ever heard of Marcus? A really It's like I want to feel hot for one last time. Nah, you're past that prime. Like you could have done that ████ You could have done it before you ████ met me. You can't control what you can't control. I don't want you to be like Madonna and ████ trying to look all ████ hot when you're ████ Oh god. Yeah, that's bad. Stop. It's like you're done.
10:53 That's bad. Yeah, that's a bad one. Especially if we had kids. It's like, do you want do you want your ████ son to ████ get made fun of because of her? Yeah. Like your mom's stripping, dude. Like there's not enough material. You want him to be a school shooter cuz now ████ everybody's like, "Hey, your mom's a ████ hoe." I like when Joe yells. Yeah, cuz it's almost like the volume doesn't get louder, but the intensity does. I'm a professional. I've been doing this for a long time. So, I know how to like not be annoying, but then still like get the point across. Thank you guys. Real answer. Tiff Tiff wants to do it. Real answer. Yeah. We're going to couples therapy. We're not going to do that. We're going to go couples therapy. We're going to get to the bottom of this. What if you go to the therapist and it's it's another woman and she goes, "You should let her do what she Oh, we don't see women therapists."
11:43 I didn't realize you were a woman. We're leaving. Thank you. Oh, thought you were a man. I'll come in guys and I and I'll hook you guys up. I'll just be like I'll just be like her name is Juno Mitsukawa and she is Juno Mitsukawa. He's like woman's therapist. You're an ugly ████ You should not be doing this. You're ████ deal with it, dude. You will get booed off the stage like gracefully, ████ He's just yelling at her. ████ age gracefully. Holds up, Madonna. You want to look like this? You want your kid to be a school shooter? That's what he said. Real answer, Nina. Uh, I would probably go get like um the pole dancing apparatus and then put it in my home first. Oh, that's a good idea. Why did I ████ know he was going to do that? That's ████ crazy. Get red light, too. You going to say red light? Red lights. He's the guy that's like, "We have McDonald's at home."
12:35 Hey, what's the movie where dance? I blew it. What's the movie? Dance sex. True lies. True lies. True lies. I'm I'm going to ask her to work on her routine because she can't just go up there like first time cold, you know what I mean? If she really wants to achieve this feeling, she's got to be good. We work on the choreography and then if she really wants to push and she hasn't been deterred by realizing she can't ████ pull dance and falling on her face and stuff and get bruises cuz it takes a long time. I've tried it. It's a lot of grip work. Then from there, we'll orchestrate whoever her girls are that somehow influenced her to try this. We do a private home audience party with just the ladies. No other fellas, me and the ladies. Just see how she really gets gassed up. And then from there, if I'm getting turned on, now we're in a different field of mental thinking cuz I've accepted it by watching her perform her art out and be passionate about something. Wow. But then maybe she just gets enrolled in
13:26 pole dancing classes and not doing it at the Amish strip club. I don't know. Now we got options. I'll do one better. If you don't have uh the room in your house to get a stripper pull, you get uh the movie Show Girls and you make her watch it and you go, "Is this the life you want to live?" It's who you want to be. Huh? But after Jesse got addicted to caffeine pills and look at her now. You edit that in. That's my favorite scene. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's She's so excited. She cannot hide it. Can't hide it. Look at her now. I would just like I would be like, "Okay, yeah, you can do And then I would have the club put the pole horizontally and she tries to go and just dice dice. Get a new one. Yeah. Get a new wife. Yeah. I got to get one of those. I got to get a new girl. And then also I would have to think of the equivalent uh I got to think of the equivalent
14:16 like, oh, I want to feel sexy and how would I do that? Magic mic. I got to present her with that magic mic cuz then she's got to allow me if she really wants me to allow her. Imagine Anthony needing to feel sexy like not in I know every day I look in the mirror I'm like please feel sexy feel sexy you wipe your ass and check it for blood checking for him still makes it feel sexy yeah he still kind of looks hot doing that cross your mind yes or no real answer Nikki Nikki would never but Um, what if someone got in her head like a a poker girlfriend or something? I don't know, bud. Um, I would I would I would say absolutely not. Yeah, the ████ not. And I would uh I'd call her parents and get them heavily involved.
15:08 Um, I call her brother. I call my brother-in-law. Get Wow. Yeah. I just start using all my ████ my whole arsenal. All the resources. All my resources. Okay. Yeah, that probably makes more sense. What if they all want to go? What's that? They're like, "Actually, can we go watch?" What if they've been like, "We should talk about this for a long time." Take that back. He's going out. He's going out. He's going out. Nikki Dicky Licky. Son of a ████ Was that the name? Nikki. Dicky. Yeah, I remember your details. Nikki. Licky Dicky. I very
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