0:00 Welcome to a new episode of JK News called the Blue Whales Talk. And here's my dad, Bar. And I'm Taika. Hello, Daddy Longlegs. >> Woo! That was the best intro ever. >> Thank you. >> Can I first ask you why you wanted to do a podcast with me? So, this is his idea, by the way. >> Yeah. Because I just like to do podcasts with you. >> Yeah. Like just like talk about random stuff. >> Yeah. Like remember the roller coaster? [laughter] >> Yeah. So that one I got to ask you cuz that was a really funny joke. Did you think about that um right here or have you been thinking about it >> right here? >> Yeah, it just came to you right here. >> Yeah, cuz you said that you I forgot what you saying about something like poop. >> So is that some of the type of conversations you have with your friends? Do you guys talk about poop and
0:51 stuff? >> No, we talk about other stuff. >> Like what? Tell me. Tell me some of the stuff that Cuz me and the people here, we're old. We're like 30, 40. We talk about old boring stuff. What do the young kids talk about? >> Uh, like cuss words. [laughter] >> Yeah. Like what? Okay. Perfect safe space here. Okay, you can go ahead and say whatever you want. What cuss words do you guys say? >> Man, you're so gay. >> Do you even know what that means? >> I forgot. >> You don't know what that means? >> I forgot. >> Okay, so you know what you say? >> It means happy and another thing. Okay. You're so gay. What else do you say? >> Sometimes we say like the effort or the b word. >> Like how? >> Like you mother. >> Go ahead. Say it. >> You ████ [gasps] >> When do you usually say that? >> Uh maybe just me and my best friends. >> But is it when like uh
1:41 >> and sometimes when we scream out gay? Sometimes we scream out gay like you're so when there's a principal, right? >> And what does a principal do? >> Nothing. >> He just pretends like he didn't hear you guys say it. >> [laughter] >> So, what when when would you say mother effer? Was it would it be like let's say you're playing with the water bottle like you're trying to do a bottle flip and then someone comes and kicks it? Is that like a time? >> No, I I just whispered in my ear. Sometimes we see something happen and then I just say it. >> Really? Just randomly just go ████ >> Mhm. >> And then what does your friend do? He >> he he cusses too. >> And he whistes back. So, can I be your friend? Pretend like you walk by my ear. What do you say? >> What? >> Pretend like I'm your friend. I walk You walk by my ear. What would you say? >> A bad word.
2:31 >> Say it. >> You ████ >> Man, there's a ████ that fell down the stairs. >> The ████ fat ████ >> That's true. And then we just keep walking back to the classroom. [laughter] >> That's what's going on in the school hallways. You guys are calling each other ████ and fat ████ Yeah, >> that's crazy. >> No, we don't talk. We talk about other people, >> not us. >> When was the When did you start cussing? You think >> first grade? No, no, no. Three. Now it's three. >> Three. >> Remember that Mex the Spanish bad word? I said that pich. So you start a cussing when you're three. What about cussing? Do you like so much? >> It's fun and it's fun saying it. >> Do you want to learn some other cuss words? >> Sure. Do you want to learn how to say
3:21 uh ████ in Vietnamese? It's >> say that >> Yeah. Like >> Yeah. And then if you want to say ████ your mom, >> you go like this. >> Yeah. That's good. And then uh if you want to learn how to say ████ in Cantonese, which is what grandpa speaks, is do. Say that >> do. >> And do is awesome because you could say anytime. It could be like, let's say you ordered French fries and it came and it's not crispy anymore. You're like, do or it could be like you have a remote control try to get the TV to work and it doesn't work. D. But it could also be like >> if you see it in the Chinese Cantonese restaurant, you're just out.
4:12 >> Well, you know what's cool about Cantonese? >> What? >> Everyone has a potty mouth. [applause] [laughter] Yeah. So, if you go to a Cantonese restaurant, you're going to hear everyone cussing because in Cantonese, it's okay to cuss. You'll hear them in the restaurant. >> So, we can say at school in China. I don't know about school, but in growing up when I was a kid in a Cantonese restaurant with my dad, I heard him, the waiters, the manager cussing all the time. They'll say d or they'll say do loo, which is ████ your old mom. Try should I say do loo. >> Yeah, that's good. And then let's see what other ones I know. I also know um >> roasts. >> I know sheepseeki. >> What does that mean? So that's in Korean that means son of a ████ Here say it.
5:05 >> Yeah. And you go or no or that means son of a ████ That's what you guys talk about, huh? And the life of a >> good life >> of 8-year-old. And you're about to be >> nine. >> No. And you're about to go to fourth grade. That's crazy. How do you feel? Do you feel excited to go to fourth grade? >> I like summer. >> Huh? >> I like summer. Do you like summer? Have you Have you Well, it's because it's June and you just got out of school maybe about a month ago, but you think you're going to start missing your friends cuz you don't really see your friends during the summer. >> I still have friends. >> I mean, not your school friends. I mean, you got jiu-jitsu friends, you got your cousins friends, but what about your school friends? >> I might bump into them at the park. >> That's true. But you're not looking
5:55 forward to fourth grade. Going to fourth grade. I'm looking forward to going to college. >> You're looking forward to going to college? >> Yeah. Like from here to there. >> So, you want to skip fifth grade, junior high, and high school? >> Oh. Is there any questions you ever want to ask me? Cuz this is the safest space you're going to get. We're on a podcast. Is there anything you ever wanted to know about me? >> How Asian are you? >> How Asian am I? If I were to be honest, out of a 10, I think I might be like a four or a five. >> Both of your parents are Asian and your ancestors. >> That's very true. But I think my mindset is actually very American. Like I was in the military. A lot of Asians like to study. I'm not really big into studying. >> But you're even good at math like Asians. >> That's what makes me the four.
6:45 >> That's the only reason. Like all of your ancestors are Chinese. You're more Asian than Jackie Chan. >> Uh, I definitely don't think I'm more Asian than Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan's a 10 out of 10 cuz Jackie Chan does Asian movies. He speaks Chinese and Cantonese and he does kung fu and everywhere he goes, he's wearing the Chinese clothes. That's pretty Asian. That's 10 out of 10 Asian. >> And he probably knows math. >> That I don't know. But probably because he's Chinese, everyone that's Chinese is good at math. Remember you're telling me the top math kids in your class, they're all what? >> Asian. >> Yep. >> Except for one. No, except for two. >> Yeah. >> What are they? >> American. >> Oh, okay. So, you don't have any questions you want to ask me? There's nothing you want to know or you want to know any Are there any secrets you want to know about Mama?
7:36 >> No. >> I could tell you some secrets and she's not around. >> Yeah. >> But you got to ask. I don't know what you don't know. >> Can you tell me a secret about Mama? >> Well, you got to tell me. She was a kid at school. >> Um, kid at school. Okay. So, I don't know if you know this, but mama used to talk at school a bunch. So much so, they had to take her desk and put it in the corner. >> She said she was a good child. >> She's a good kid. Like, she doesn't break the rules like papa. >> Peppa got kicked out of three schools. >> I got kicked out a lot of schools. >> Don't follow his ideas, okay? >> Please don't. >> Or mine. I got kicked out of one school [laughter] >> and I went to the principles four times this year. >> How did you did? I thought you were so good this year. >> No. Did I ever tell you one of the worst times um my dad spanked me >> when he threw that baseball bat at you?
8:26 >> That was the second. No, that was the first worst time. But that came after another time. >> So the time that I got spanked the worst, I was in kindergarten. So I was five. >> I was really nice. Yeah. >> And then uh my dad, he used to own a Chinese restaurant. And then so you know restaurants they close late. So he would come home like 11 or 12 at night and he needs to sleep in so that he can have energy for the next day and he would wake up late because he slept so late. So we were we lived in a smaller house. So you know your desk imagine your desk but in mama and papa's room. So, I was there like drawing and coloring and I couldn't I don't know why, but I kept having my color pencils and crayons drop on the floor. Kept dropping on the floor. My dad's trying to sleep and HE'S
9:17 LIKE, "BE QUIET OVER THERE." I'M LIKE, "SORRY, STOP DROPPING THE CRAYONS." OKAY. And then I just kept dropping. They kept rolling off the table. I don't know why. I just wasn't careful. He comes, picks me up, slams me on the ground, pulls down my pants, he puts his knee on my back, so I can't move. I'm on the ground. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Probably like it felt like 20 or 30 times. My grandpa comes in. Stop. What are you doing? He's a baby. He goes, "Get out." Boom. Boom. Boom. My butt looked like a candy cane. Like red and white and red and white and red and white all the way down. >> And your butt was not even in heaven. It passed away in heaven. >> It went to heaven, passed away, then it
10:08 went to hell, passed away, and then went on a roller coaster. And then someone put in a paper shredder. That's what it felt like. And then I was crying so bad. And then you know what I did? >> What? I couldn't wait till I saw mama, my mom, cuz I was kind of tattletail because my mom already went to work. When she came back, I was like, "Papa spanked the crap out of me." And then she was like, "What did you do?" And I told her what I did. And mama, my mom yelled at my dad. And it felt so good because all I did was just drop crayons. I didn't really do anything bad like burn a car or something. in front of car. >> But he smacked me like 30 times. >> He smacked you until you became Santa Claus. >> When you hear stories like that, what do you feel? >> I I feel like I'm a part of this family. >> You feel like you're part of the family?
10:58 What do you mean by that? >> Like I'm a troublemaker. >> So you feel So you feel like you're closer to me than you you are to mama? >> Way more. >> Really? >> Like one time Rudy, my friend, and my other friend was holding up a kid and I just jumped on him. I jumped on his back. I was like this. >> When was this? During recess? >> No, extra recess. >> Extra recess. >> And then did he like it or he was like, "Why' you do that to me?" >> What did he do? >> And then after he started beating me up. >> Started beating up. Like real beating up or just messing around playing? >> He was running. He was running towards me and I was trying to outrun him, but he's just too fast. So I had to juke him. >> You had to juke him. Did he end up catching you? And then what did he do? And then they just threw him over for me. >> Wait, you And then you threw him again. Yeah. What the I thought he I thought he
11:49 beat you up. So you beat him up again? >> I needed to defend myself. >> Oh, that's true. And then no teachers saw any of this. >> The teachers were like like in a different world. >> They're not even watching you guys >> watching. We're like deep over by the ghost. >> Oh, I see. So you're just doing crazy stuff in the corner. That's how I used to kill all the yellow jackets during recess. It was just me next to all the trees in the corner by myself. You remember I told you I killed all those yellow jackets. >> You killed them? >> No, not killed them. I collected them when I would like go like that. >> That kills them? >> No. No. I just stung st uh stuns them. I picked them up by the wings and then throw put in a bottle and I collected a whole bottle full of yellow jackets like that. >> But how how do how are they buzzing if they're all like squished? >> They're all squished. But I mean not
12:39 like to the brim. Maybe like more than half. So there's a lot, but they're also still like, you know how they're like trying to fly away, but they can't like like that. >> How did they not suffocate? >> I poked holes in it. But then I'm dumb. So like I would do that during recess and then I put on my backpack and I don't open my backpack for two days and the next day I look and they're all dead. >> You should have give them honey cuz they like to eat honey. >> Cuz you're trying to be funny. No, >> actually they eat honey. >> Yeah, but you you rhymed with give them money. So, I don't know what you're trying to do. You're trying to be a rabbit or a bunny? >> A bunny? I don't know. >> Oh, okay. Or do you like it? Do you like it when it rains or when it's sunny? >> I don't know. [laughter] [gasps] >> When papa does weird dad joke things like that, do you go he's lame? >> I'm like this. Yeah, this kid.
13:30 >> Give the man a brain. >> You're like, I don't know this guy. Someone someone >> I just wanted to roast you so bad. Like your mom's so fast. She plays pool with the planets. But that's her grandma. Now you just roasted your own grandma. >> Didn't she twist your leg? >> Twist my leg? >> No, her leg. >> Yeah. Yeah. Recently >> like >> this. >> That's what she says. But she also your your grandma likes to be dramatic sometimes. So I don't I don't know if that's like really >> Was she crying? Was she cussing when she when that happened in Chinese? Like >> no. You know the thing? So what's different than Cantonese? In Mandarin there's no there's not actually bad words. So, you want to know like what's one of the worst words in Mandarin? >> Yeah. >> It's like pentan. >> What does that mean? >> Stupid egg. There's no f word. There's no crazy like you ████ piece of ████ Son of a ████ ████ There's
14:21 none of that in Mandarin. Mandarin is like, "Oh, you cucumber. You're such a stupid egg." >> They're such a stupid Easter egg. >> Yeah, that's Mandarin. But Cantonese >> is the cuss word land. Yeah, there's Dude, there's D Loo Mo. There's also Gay. There's all >> gay. Eat some Chick-fil-A on a piece of Hey, have a good day. >> Well, you're pretty good, dude. I didn't know you're a rapper like that. So, if you think you're closer to papa, how come you always like sleeping with mama instead of sleeping with papa? >> Cuz I love her more than you. [clears throat] >> What did you just say? >> What did she say? >> I love her more than you. Why would you love her more than me if you are closer to me? >> I'm closer to you in trouble stuff, but
15:11 I'm closer to mama of being ky. >> Oh, that's so sweet. >> Your your hands are like like rocks. Remember how mama remember how mama gave me three jars and I have to put stuff for me, Papa? I don't know. For papa, for you, my grandma, and my mom. >> Mhm. >> My mom is soft, so I put soft soil. You're a rough I put rocks. And grandma's fragile, so I put leaves. Dead leaves. >> Dead leaves. Because she's fragile, like crunchy. >> There's something I don't want to say, so I'm not going to say. >> Okay, good. Cuz sometimes it's good to not say stuff, too. Especially if you have the troublemaker gene like papa. >> I do got >> cuz you always have two choices, right? And then when you're a troublemaker, you usually have this choice and then does and you want to grab that,
16:02 >> right? Cuz it feels good. >> So good. So good. I got it. >> Is that your favorite song? >> No. >> What's your favorite song? >> You know what's one thing I'm so glad you don't do anymore? What? >> Actually, a lot of kids don't do anymore. >> What? >> All the crazy brain rot like all that crazy stuff. >> Yeah. >> I'm so glad that's over. Cuz for the longest time when all you kids were into it, I would hear it at jiu-jitsu, hear it at the mall, hear it at the park, in our own car cuz you're like, "Mama, papa, can you play that play my tongue again?" And it's crazy. It was >> They even made a Harry Potter brain rot song. >> I definitely don't want to know. I'm having a staring contest.
16:53 >> You want to do a staring contest? >> Staring at me. [laughter] >> You already lost three times. You opened your eyes like this and then you you like this. You already [laughter] lost. You got to You got to open it and keep it like this. >> Okay, there you go. Let's go. >> Three, two, one, go. You You did You just blinked. You just blinked. I just saw >> I can't I'm blind. Yeah. >> How many fingers are you holding up? >> None. What are you talking about? >> Blind. >> Oh. So, >> you know, one thing I do want to share about you to all the people out there is uh >> what I love about what I love about My Little Monkey Man is you're actually really really smart and you're into a lot of really cool stuff. >> Like what? >> Like recently you were watching this bee documentary and you got into all those
17:43 bees. What are some like name of the bees and wasps that you like? >> I like wasps. Or what? What? The ones that you were talking about? >> Yellow jackets, giant Asian hornets, yellow hornets. I can name a lot of bees and hornets. >> Yeah. Name some. >> All of them. >> Just some like five. >> Mud hornets, a spider. And that's six. >> That's six. Okay. And then there's that. Then we're also trying to name all the countries in the world in alphabetic order. Remember like what's A? >> Africa. >> What about B? >> I don't know. Belgium. >> Oh yeah. >> Bolivia. Oh yeah. We're doing stuff like that. And then you also like to know about all the different mountains. Like what are some of your favorite mountains? >> Matter horn cuz there's a ride at Disneyland too. >> The Disneyland ride. Yes. But then like what about the other mountain? Mount Everest. That's number one. >> K2.
18:34 >> Kunga. >> Kenjunga. >> Uh Inerna one. >> Anaperna. Yeah. What's the city you have to fly into Nepal? >> What? >> What city do you have to fly into Nepal to go to those places? >> I forgot. Got mandu. >> Let's go. >> Yeah. So you you like a lot of cool stuff like that. It's pretty cool and that makes me really proud of you. Do you know that I'm really proud of you as a papa? >> You just showed me today in the morning. >> Yeah. But did you know that? Did you know that? Like cuz one thing I really want to tell you, two important things I want to tell you cuz my dad never tell told me cuz from my generation, Asian dads never say that. >> But you're an Asian dad. >> But from my generation. So I'm AsianAmerican. My grandp my your grandpa my dad is Asian Asian. When you're Asian Asian, you never say I love you and you never say they're proud of you and you never
19:24 say sorry. >> Sorry, not sorry. >> So that's why I always want to make sure I tell you those three things. If I mess up, I'm sorry. I want you to know that I love you so much. And I want you to know that I'm so proud of you. >> Thank you. [laughter] >> How does it make you feel when I tell you I love you? M. Okay. >> Okay. Do you want me to say it more or less? >> I don't know. You choose. >> Do you Do you love me even a little bit? >> Yeah. I like you. [laughter] >> But you love mama more, huh? >> Yeah. >> In the list of all the people that you love in the world, including animals like me and Cooper, what's Who's number one? >> Grandma. >> Grandma's more than mom. >> Yeah. >> That's insane. Why? >> I just love her more. >> That's crazy. Okay. Who's number two? >> Mama.
20:14 >> Who's number three? >> Yeah. >> Yes. At least I got bronze. >> You do get bronze. >> And And then number four, >> Yan. No. No. My cousins. My cousins. >> Your cousins. Okay, that's true. I know you love them very, very much. He has twin cousins. >> They're twins. >> Number five, >> Yan. >> And number six, >> Mia. No, no, Cooper. >> Cooper. Number seven, >> Mia. That's our German Shepherd and our husky. >> Husky. German Shepherd. >> I would like to uh end this show with one final question. And I need you to be serious, but I also need you to think about in your feelings. Okay. >> Okay. >> Cuz a lot of uh who I became as a papa, I actually learned from my papa and I made my own adjustments whether I followed what he did or didn't follow
21:04 what he did. Is there anything that you've watched or experienced that you're like, when I'm going to be a papa, this is the type of papa I want to be? >> Huh? [laughter] [gasps] >> Is there anything that you're like, you know what, when I'm a papa, I want to be this kind of papa. >> Yeah, play with them. >> Play with them. Oh, that's cutie. That's very, very cutie. Well, thank you guys so much for watching our very first episode of >> Blue Whales Talk. >> Blue Whales Talk Show. Do you want to send them away with anything? >> Yeah. Like and subscribe and share this video with all your friends. And thanks for watching. See you guys next
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