0:00 All right, if your parents put you in an arranged marriage when you were younger, what kind of partner do you think they would have set you up with if it was all up to your parents? >> Some ████ stinky-headed ████ probably. >> Really? What the hell is >> Why does it have to be stinky-headed? >> Because like I feel like so if if if I would think this would happen young, right? Like when I'm like in high school or early college. Let's imagine it's right after high school. I the all the type of chicks that my mom likes for me. So the type of chicks that I like like to shower, probably like to go to the gym. They smell You know like the whole Herbal Essences and they used to use Bath and Body Works. >> Vidal Sassoon? >> That was like my That's like my chick. I like girls that smell good, right? >> Mhm. >> The type of chicks my mom would like would be ████ like Kumon hopping, Chinese school lurking,
0:51 algebra loving. So these chicks, they probably don't like to shower. So they probably got a stinky ass head, bad hygiene. Like some yucky ass ████ >> Yucky ass ████ She got braces, she got dandruff, she got pale skin cuz she's afraid of the sun. >> So you don't think your mom would go by looks at all? She would just be like what are the academic like the scholastic achievements? >> Scholastic and looks based off of what she thinks is good. >> Oh. >> Which it'd be like I don't know looking like Teresa Teng or some ████ >> Okay. >> My mom was always trying to get me laid. >> All the time. >> With what kind of looking chicks though? >> Ever since I was in kindergarten. >> Like come meet my son kind of stuff? >> She always trying to get me in a relationship all the time. But yeah, like the type of girls looking back, I actually don't think she had bad taste. I had bad taste. >> What was your mom's taste? >> I like them ABGs. I want the import
1:43 tuner girls. I want the girls that look like their dad left them. You know like I like >> Hey up as we all did in the 2000s, yeah? Y2K? >> But looking back, she actually had a really good eye for marriage material. >> Aw, she did, huh? She found some good girls? >> Yeah, they were all like really cool people, like good parents, everything. I think like they would have been like good like >> But that's not what you want when you're 14. >> Ling. >> They look Yeah, they look clean and yeah. >> They look like they showered. >> They were They just They were just naturally pretty. They're not like the makeup pretty. >> Yeah. >> Or like when you're 13, 14 you >> the lip liner. >> Yeah. >> Was your mom like trying to hook you up with only Asians or was she going all over the place? >> Well, it was mostly people that she knew's daughters or like >> Probably just turns out to be Asian, huh? >> At school she'd be like, "How about that girl? That girl's cute." Like when she comes to pick me up. But from ████ kindergarten, she'd be like, "You got a girlfriend yet?"
2:33 >> Are you sure it's cuz she didn't She was trying to like make sure you weren't gay? >> Oh, I thought you were trying to get rid of me. >> No, what if she was like, [laughter] "Man, I'm really afraid Joe's gay. He's showing a lot of gay tendencies." >> Yeah, you might have had gay tendencies. >> Maybe. >> You know? >> [laughter] >> The way he wears that white beater and smiles. What So that's the kind of girl that you think she would have fixed you up with arranged marriage style out of high school? >> Yeah, if I just listened to her, it would have been like a girl that was like probably safe and sweet and nice and good family. >> But you wouldn't have appreciated that, huh? Maybe later in life, >> but I probably would have ████ wrecked the ████ out of her and then like >> [laughter] >> we would have divorced or something. >> Yeah. >> Probably, yeah. >> But yeah. >> What about for you, Anthony? What kind of person do you >> I think I don't think my parents had too much hopes or visions for me that it got too
3:23 uh specific. I think uh when when they have like a I have an older sister, so I think when you have like a firstborn daughter, >> Yeah. >> maybe you care a little bit more about like her choices, like her suitors or whatever. >> Would your dad have picked someone from Girl Scouts? >> No, I honestly I think my parents don't really give a ████ as long as they have that like Asian etiquette, the politeness. If you go in and you know how to take off your shoes and you know how to like In Vietnamese it's called "chao", like say hi to all the elders in the right order, or like right away, like without question, when you finish eating, you're taking all the dishes away, and you're cleaning right away. You If you just not a just do the regular good kid ████ that a parent would, then you're good. >> Okay. Wow, so their standards are pretty chill. >> Yeah, I think so. >> Even for the average Asian-American, they don't have that. >> Yeah?
4:13 >> How so? Like uh that with that Asian etiquette he's talking about, cuz I remember like when my mom came and visited me and all my friends, we were all watching TV, and then my mom's like, "Damn, your ████ Asian-American friends are ████ savages." >> Right. >> Because she expected everyone to like stand up and acknowledge her. >> Yeah. >> And then go back to watching TV. So everyone was just enjoying the moment, or like having your feet up when an adult is present is ████ crazy. It's pretty much going like this. >> [laughter] >> So it's like I think most Asian-Americans to even find someone with that understands how to like navigate that culture is hard. >> Yeah. So if you just do those things, doesn't matter doesn't matter where you come from, doesn't matter what your ████ name is, what your religion is, who you >> Do you think your your mom or dad would have chosen someone Vietnamese? >> Yeah. >> If they if it was up to them. >> 100%. Because that's who they can talk to.
5:03 >> Oh. >> It's a language barrier thing. You know. Um and when you find a Vietnamese girl for my Vietnamese top parents, when you find a Vietnamese girl that knows how to do Asian etiquette the right way, >> Even me, I'm amazed. I'm like, >> Damn, you kind of are a catch. >> Most Viet girls >> are kind of crazy anyway, huh? >> Yeah. >> You got to find a fob that knows that ████ >> Yeah, it's like halfway fob, yeah. So no, it's it's exactly like Joe saying. Now, you're like, "F███, that's the right pick." You're just not into that ████ at 14. Like, what are you doing? >> Like, she sucks dick. She doesn't pick up the dishes? >> Yeah. >> [laughter] >> That makes sense. >> You don't even think about it. >> Yeah. >> What about your white mom and dad? >> Um Thank you for saying that. >> [laughter] >> No, my I think it's like what happened with Anthony. My older sister was sort of like the focus of worry and concern.
5:54 Like I remember specifically I was able to go on a road trip with my buddies to Yuma, Arizona to stay with like his uncle randomly. And I was like probably 16, 17. And my sister that same year is 19 and she couldn't go like camping with her friends in the woods locally. >> Cuz she get pregnant. >> Yeah. >> You know what I'm saying? >> gets pregnant, that's the problem. >> able to leave the state of California, go to Yuma, Arizona with buddies for a weekend and Memorial Day. And my sister can't even go locally 30 miles away with a bunch of friends. So it was like that. I think my parents were just glad that I'm not gay. And everything after that didn't give a ████ >> have zero preference on if they had to assign a woman for you to marry at age 18, they would just be like anyone's fine.
6:44 >> No, I So later on I got more insight on this cuz I really didn't have a serious girlfriend for a sec. But then my mom doesn't like it if it's like you guys. I don't know it's an Asian thing, my bad. But if you come in that [laughter] if you come into our house and you don't say hi to the to the parents, you're a scumbag to my mom. >> I get >> Yeah, that's big, right? And then so I had a girlfriend who didn't really do that cuz she was more shy. And I was trying to explain to my mom like look, she's really introverted. And my mom's like, I don't care. >> Yep. >> My mom's like, you know who's introverted? Your father's introverted. And you know what? I make that ████ say hi to everybody when he come in. You know what I mean? Like it's just like you got to deal with it. You got to just ████ push >> You got to say hi through the pain. >> Yeah, you can't like and I get this too. I agree with this so hard like where people go, I don't think you understand cuz I have this thing which is called being introverted so I can't do that. It's like, yes you ████ can.
7:35 Shut the ████ up. Can't shake the guy's hand and stand up tall and just be cool. >> Just do it anyway. >> Yeah. So I think it was like that for me. Like I found out later on my parents' preferences were respect is big and then you can't sit there and be on your ████ phone. Like my mom hated that about one of my exes. The ████ was just sitting there on her phone the whole time and my mom was like, "I don't like her, Steven." >> Yeah, cuz it's like why are you even here? >> Exactly. >> Yeah, be present. >> Wow, she straight up said, "I don't like her." >> But she told me it after we broke up. >> Oh, okay. Well, that's >> Cuz she was trying to get back with me, this chick, and my mom was like, "Nope, Steven, I don't like her. I don't like her. She's not respectful." Stuff like that. >> You guys think your parents would have all preferred like the same race and everything? >> Yeah, 100%. >> I think I think priority over Filipino. My parents would prioritize Seventh-day Adventist. >> Wow, more than Filipino? >> Hell of more than Filipino, yeah.
8:26 Seventh-day Adventist over that. They'd be like it could be a Latina if it's from a Seventh-day Adventist. >> What about Seventh-day Adventist Somalian? >> I don't even know if that's a thing, but um yeah. Actually, they probably would. >> What would be like out of all the religions, what would be the ones like would it be Catholic where they're like, "No." >> Yeah. >> Is it? Really? Cuz it's that one the butts >> Yeah, Catholic's probably the most like yeah. Because only because there's so many Filipino Catholics. You know what I mean? Like that's the more popular thing. So like >> The stereotype was like the Catholics were the bad guys. >> Yeah, they were like the bad guys. >> Cuz pro- we're Protestant so it's like adjacent if it's like a >> And we're like Protestant to the Protestants. Like so it's like one more level down. >> So the Catholic's more of the bad guy than like I don't know, Muslims? They don't even exist. >> [laughter] >> All right. I don't think I we even talked about
9:17 that. >> Well, you talked about it probably around 9/11. >> Oh, maybe. I didn't even know what it was. >> [laughter] >> I really didn't think about it either at that age, yeah. >> They they really focused on Catholics, though. >> You know >> So like within the races, though, if if like do you think they were really disappointed that you guys didn't get with someone of the same? >> No, ultimately no. I don't think so. >> You know what I think completely like shook our world where it's like you think you understand your version of preferences and then this happens and then now everything's out the door. I believe when my sister was 16, I think she was dating like a 24-year-old dude. >> What? >> That's insane. >> Excuse me? >> That's insane. >> It was also a little more normal back then, I feel like. >> Yeah. Yeah. No social media. >> the law hadn't changed, right? >> Yeah. So um so this this was uh I think >> dad know about this?
10:07 >> I think I yeah, there was a moment where >> 16 [snorts] and 24? >> When it got found out is when he like stopped it. >> Okay. >> And and made it like, you know, it's like >> Oh, he stopped it? >> Yeah. Like so there was a lot of drama. And I feel like after something like that the bar is so low for the son. >> Aw. >> Like for me, I >> Aw, okay. >> Now it's not even like preferences. Please just please just >> Don't date a 40-year-old. >> Yeah, like don't just please be normal. >> Date someone your age. >> Just just be normal. >> Okay. >> You know? I feel like that >> Damn, dude, that's freaking crazy. >> But my mom would tell me not to bring a black girl home sometimes. >> She would say that? >> Wait, on the real real? >> Not She wouldn't ever directly say it. >> Hints at it? >> She would hint at it, so I would jokingly stab at it cuz I knew it trolled her back. [laughter] So anytime
10:57 she would like jokingly be mad at me, I'm like, "I'm going to Well, yeah, my girlfriend's black." I would just say stuff like that cuz I knew that she it would like >> [laughter] >> rile her up in a weird way. >> Was she like, "Hey, don't bring one of those like home." >> What is that? >> Like you can't crisscross when you're dancing? Dance moves? >> That's Chris Brown? That's a white dance. >> Chris cross like that's like black people can move. >> the Charleston. That you invented that. >> That's Chris Brown? Like the [laughter] blacks can move. They can really move. >> You show a historically white dance to express black people. >> Hello my baby. Hello [laughter] my honey. Hello my Don't you bring home one of these.
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