0:00 [Music] Anony's taking a pooping. Damn, these are good. Where'd you get these? I made that kind of Is it You know what's funny? When you think of a guy like Anthony taking the kind of like demystifying because he's so like attractive and he's like a perfect man and then you imagine and you're like no way that guy does. Yeah. Cuz if someone says that about me, they're like, "Of course he's taking a guy's a homeless man." Exactly. But then Anthony, you're like, he if he definitely different something's unique about how he does that fool does it like with style. It probably comes out like yogurt land. Yeah. Well, he just starts dancing, right? And then the poop just appears. Mhm. Like it doesn't even have to come out. Like it like it comes out of his inventory. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like
0:51 he drops one. drops it like he's Borderlands like just leaving loot behind honestly doesn't even need to need need a wipe. He just comes out. So like you guys Yeah, I think Anthony doesn't wipe. Yeah, he doesn't have to. He has a main service for it. I think he literally has a main service that comes and wipes his ass for him. That's why that's how I imagine his life. How much do you think it cost for him? They probably do it for the love of the game for Anthony Lee just to touch that butt. Is there a cast system within Kinches? Yeah. Who's the leader? I'm on the top, you know, but they can't disclose that information. You're the You're the puppeteer. Yeah. I'm just like, "Hey, let's dance for me." I don't even have to dance. Really? No, they're dancing. He's out of the game. Show them. Oh, yeah. It's kind of like um Juntow. Like
1:41 he's the real boss, but then he has a front boss. So like the distraction is there. It's so tricky, too, that they just gave him that name. Juna like yeah of course it's like gotta be some Asian dude but but in reality it's like Anthony Lee and Mike Song and then like Ben but it's actually Steve and then everyone you know it's like Goro brother so remember Goro no one wants to ceing at the top no one tries to assassinate Lawrence. That's true. Everyone's going to try to assassinate these guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess they did know it was Shangsung. I didn't know that ████ I mean Goro is pretty like crazy. Oh, you thought Goro was the main guy? Yeah. And they're like you when the thing went over one I was like holy ████ Who's this going to be? Oh you were playing the game. Is that how it was? I see. I see. It was a surprise surprise attack. But isn't isn't Shang Tsung in the He's not in the background of that stage. He's like he's in the background. I
2:32 guess sitting in the chair. Sitting in the chair. But I didn't think he was in the game. No, I thought he was a judge. I didn't know. Brought to you by Sang Chong ████ meatballs. Brought to you by Shan Meatballs. Mortal Kombat. I was too young. I was just skipping all the dialogue ████ I don't think there was dialogue. Well, do do you you loved Mortal Kombat when you were a kid? Oh, yeah. I felt like I was being I feel like I was getting away with something. Isn't it crazy that like Same? I feel the same way too. Super bloody violent my parents and like playing. Don't watch this. Don't watch this. I'm playing something innocent. ████ Just leave us alone. It's crazy cuz I saw in the arcade my ████ childhood eyes was really like that's straight up real people. Yeah, that's right. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just cuz it was like cuz it wasn't cartoony. It was like photos. I was like, "Oh my god, these are just videos of people and then the the fatalities.
3:22 Finish him in the blood. The blood was so hardcore." And then you chop the ████ head off and everything. Never saw anything close to that. It was mindblowing. The first time I uppercut my buddy off of like the bridge and he goes through the spike. I was like, "What? I'm sorry." You know, I was trying not to act scared around my buddy, but I was scared. There's no wonder that like politicians were in such an uproar over that. Were they? I didn't like the graphics though. Parents mostly. You didn't like the graphics? Well, I it was Well, the movements were really choppy. What? To me, it looked real as hell. It was like looking at looking through a window. Hey, you like Mortal Kombat? I like Mortal Kombat. E, that's gross, dude. I went to Second City, this guy. I love that. You improv guy. Hey, uh, jokes and jokes and jokes. Do you Do you ████ differently than most people? Yep. Differently? Is there anything like What's your routine? Yeah. What's the
4:13 process like? Yeah. They think you're a pretty ████ You know, we think you're a pusher. We think you push real hard. Your level can't possibly ████ the way that other guys do. No, I ████ pretty regular. You know what I do do though? When I don't have enough fiber in there with those chia seeds that you're recommending, like I have to do breathing techniques in order to make sure I'm getting as Why is that ████ funny? Like Lama's class. No, it's like you know when you have to exhale at a certain level to relax yourself for like a chiropractic crack, right? It's like turning your belly into jelly type stuff while you exhale. And it's because it like loosens your body and relaxes you. So there's times where if it's like I know something's stuck, but I'm not done yet. I have to like fully exhale. He's doing box breathing before he put Are you like astral projecting? You're not It's not you on the toilet. I'm astral. He goes 3 seconds inhale. He goes 3 second pause and 3 second exhale. And he
5:03 goes, "Now you release the turret." I go I go like six second exhale though because like if you really this guy brag like you like inhale right we all go home later and do this sick. I bet it does make your poops come out better though. It' be tight if he was at a public restroom and he was sitting in the toilet and he astral projects but he just goes to the next toilet with his spirit and then some other guy opens it and goes, "Oh, I'm sorry sir, but it's a ████ Anthony Lee in there." Yeah. I imagine Anthony Lee before he poops sometimes. I feel like he takes his shirt off, he folds it, hangs it, pants off, he irons it, make sure he goes, "Hey, I'm a ████ real quick." Hey, what you up to? And then Mike gives him support. Mike gives him support. I don't do that. I don't do that. Mike and he goes, "Sup." And he goes, "You pooping?" I don't do that. Hey, Mike, I'm gonna be
5:54 ████ for a bit. Let me know if you need anything. I can't answer my phone right now. We don't need anything, but I call Mike to say good night. That's it. Uh, do you do you guys can you say good night to each other in a group chat? Night, by the way. I have been loving that meme. I've been loving that meme. It's really funny. Saying good night to each other. All right, good night, bro. Saw a bunch of NFL teams doing that to each other. That ████ was cracking me up. And and it's immediately like, "Hey man, I just wanted to say good night." And then they're like, "Bro, what the f███?" Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I saw one where he calls his uncle and he's like, "Hey man, don't you ever call me again." They get so mad, bro. They just call to say good night. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a thing now where you record yourself calling a homie. I should do that to my dad. You see what happens. Oh, bro. You should. Dude, you should be like, "Love you, Dad." Dude, I do that all the time. He's like, "You should record yourself doing it."
6:45 That's That could be a meme thing. Like Asian. I can't put him on blast. That's hard. That's the new one, dude. All right, son. I'll talk to you later. You just You see the click? Okay. Yeah. Can you casually say that to your dad? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's actually like I mean it's been a while back though. He says it back. Wo. Who started it? Maybe the last for the last 10 years he's been doing that. He started it. Happy anniversary. It's cool. You started or Everything about Lawrence is different though. That's not fair. That is different. I mean I would always say but yeah. Oh you started it. So you wore him down and he just straight up says I love you son. I love you. I love you. Oh my god. That's amazing. My dad just hangs up the phone. He just goes really and he pulls the corner out of the wall. My dad goes smash his phone. He's like, "Okay." Yeah. Yeah. All right. Okay.
7:35 Funny. If he was a white guy, it'd be like, "The jig is up, son." My dad just even in person, if I hug him and I I I try to hug him, he only uses one arm. And then I go, "Love you, Dad." He'll go, "Okay." Yeah. Dude, where did they learn this? They all do the same thing. I think I think it's like It's like the the What is it? The um it's the elderly Filipino. No homo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Side hug. Side needs a side. Yeah. But it's not but it's not like no homo like what are you homo? It's like I feel like my when my dad's doing it, he's like don't be homo. Yeah. Like don't be gay. Why are you gay? You love your father. He's gay. You want to ████ me? Yeah. You want me? You want to ████ me? These millennials so gay. That's what dad has at his last draw.
8:25 kids these days so gay. I feel like if I actually sat my dad down and I was like, "Why don't we tell each other we love each other?" Because I'm not gay. What would he say? What do you mean? 100% no. He would say, "Because it's obvious." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He'd go, "Obviously, you're my son." Yeah. Which makes a lot of sense though, too. That's That's his logic. He's like, "Why would like ████ I'm gay?" Yeah. I'm like, "Damn, dude. I got to ████ register now as a ████ homosexual." Yeah, you do have to do that now. Yeah. Yeah. You got to change your Facebook stat before you got a real ID. Yeah. You got to dissolve your escort. So dumb. Yeah, dude. He would just say that. He'd be like, it is true, though, cuz their generation's like, "We already know this. Why do you have to keep saying it?" Yeah, dude. I see I see that. Here's here's a big one that
9:15 ████ with me bad. When I was watching Ninja Turtles the movie, the first one with my dad, there was a moment where Splinter is talking to that bad kid when he's tied up and Splinter goes, "All fathers care for their sons." And I looked at my dad like, "I [Music] nothing." He goes, "That's it." He's like watching a ████ movie. Can you tell? That's it. Were you like, "Is it true?" Yeah. I like smile. I look back and smile at him cuz I'm sitting on the floor watching. He's on the couch. He just goes, "Shut up." That moment That moment of Splinter in the Fire. I teared up. Yeah, dude. I still tear up, dude. I still Yeah, I still tear up. Pull it right now so we can cry together. Do it. Play it.
10:05 Splinter when he appears in the fire. Yeah. And he's talking to them. They're all like meditating and then they all start tearing up and I start tearing up cuz I'm a Ninja Turtle clearly at this age. Yeah. So, I had to be one with them. Those are my brothers. Yep. ████ I don't remember this moment. I didn't cry at that time. Your father loves you. You didn't have to get it from a ████ rat. ████ rat. It's this one. I guess we can just I'm going to cry right now. Really? Do it. Well, dude, it's good enough to where someone had to ████ re clip the scene and upload it. They're doing box breathing, too. and greatest truth of the ninja. Okay, I remember this. What do they die? Remember master who dies? Splinter not. Splinter dies. But
10:56 together there is nothing your four minds cannot accomplish. Help each other. Draw upon one another. And always remember the true force that binds you. the same as that which brought me here tonight. That which I gladly returned. Yeah, I'm just thinking of all the turtles with their lens chopped off. Yeah. I love you all. That part I love you all my sons. Also, how the ████ Splinter's what, like 60, probably 70 years old. Been living in New York this whole time. Left Japan when he was like two and he still talks like that. He should talk like he's broken. I don't even know another Asian guy. I'm surprised he doesn't talk like a ████ New Yorker. How the ████ does
11:46 Raphael sound like how he does? Going in a pizza parlor's by himself talking to ████ people, guys. But wasn't he like rat for like ████ 9 years or some ████ Listen to that cat. But this fool's been in ████ Yoshi Manhattan for way longer. In the sewer, bro. A New Yorker. It would be great if you had a little Brooklyn twin. He just starts saying he starts going bing bomb. ████ life. Yeah, but the turtles don't even sound New Yorker either. They sound like West Raphael. Raphaelos. Leonardo doesn't. Everyone sounds like they're from the West Coast. Radical. Radical. Radical. Yeah. Radical. They all sound like they surf from LA. Yeah. Cala, dude. That's the only time is when they're all like trading those words. Bodish. This is such good marketing just for
12:36 pizza in general. It is. like for like just pizza companies after Ninja Turtles. I think Pizza Hut cartoon drawings of pizza are sick. My love for Pizza Hut was all because of them. Pizza Hut. Yep. The pole. The pole is insane. It's insane. The drippity drippity cheese. Go the intro to the second one when they just keep showing B-roll of people stretching pizza. Dude, how do you not have pizza? And they always had the Ninja Turtle game. They do Ninja Turtle game. And when whenever you got the pizza, you get some life. Thank god it wasn't like f that was like the food that they had. Imagine that whole intro. Why you got to choose fit? You can't even ████ eat it. Wait, do that again. Do it again. No, you're going to
13:26 That's how you eat fod, dude. What? Did you guys ever have the Ninja Turtle bus? Yeah, dude. You had it? Of course I had the bus, dude. I had four of them. Four? Yeah. One for every room. The other one opened up. Yeah. No, the the other one that opened up, right? I only knew one kid with that. That ████ was expensive. Four. Four of them. One for each room. That was like the only go upstairs sometimes. Like a lot of people had the figures, but then like to get the bus and then everything. Oh no. I never got the bus. And I had the bunny too. The ████ Yojimbo bunny. Oh yeah, the Yojimbo bunny. The guy who he was like a bunny that had like mental issues, right? Yeah. Yeah. He was Usagi Yojimbo. He would like see hallucinations and then just go crazy, right? Yeah. Yeah. He was like a white rabbit with that a white samurai rabbit. Oh yeah. I think
14:17 he was like a mental health character. Casey Jones. Casey Jones was the sickest. Trying to collect all the all the turtles that specifically had the shell open. Oh, dude. Which one did you identify with most out of all the characters? The robot one, I think as a kidal turtle. What's his name? I forgot. But there was a robot head or turtle. Something chrome turtle. Yeah, there was a metal guy. Yeah. I identify with Michelangelo the most. You You identified with Michelangelo. But then as we grew up, I think everybody said I was more like Leonardo cuz I kick my ass. 100% Leonardo. Ruins all the fun. No, that's Raphael. He causes all the fun. Captain over here. Yeah. Yeah. You're more of a tattletail, dude. like a leader. Hey you guys, we got to stay on quota. It's like whatever, Anthony. Hey guys, don't we have
15:08 whatever, dude. Yeah. Yeah, that's how it feels. That's not how you feel off camera. Huh? That's not how you feel off camera. You're like, dude, thank you, man. I got to get home early tomorrow. I'm leaving already. No, but at the same time, it's I think it's a it's more of a compliment than it is an insulting guy. Take the compliment. Thank you, Anthony. What the hell? Oh, no. He said I'm like, Leonardo, I'm going to kill myself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's the best character. He has two swords. But he can't cut anyone. When Yeah. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Unless they're robotic. When I was a kid, I was like, I just like the two swords. I like that guy. That's the same for me. I wasn't that deep. Leonardo. Yeah. Well, I just was like, I like the two swords. That was it. I didn't. Yeah. I like Casey Jones and Leonardo because of this their weapons. Everyone else. I like Casey Jones. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Really? Cuz he had a golf bag with hella
15:58 weapons. Wasn't a turtle. It was wasn't that interesting. I was like, "This guy has a bunch of props, dude." I'm like, "It's not like he was like Friday the 13th, dude." Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was basically just like a weird vigilante freak. Am I remembering something weird? Because I thought he had a love interest with April O'Neal. They had a will they, won't they? The first movie, they had like a thing. I think that's why I liked him too cuz I was like, he was the guy that can actually get her, but the turtles can't. So, I want to be the guy that also gets I didn't like that when I was a kid. I remember being like, I don't want to be the guy who's like with the girl, dude. You're still a kid. Yeah. Oh, thank you. But don't want that. Also, I was conflicted by Raphael because he was like so cool, but like his weapons weren't the coolest. Oh, the size. Yeah, true. But they look cool as hell. They look cool, but when you try to play with them, you're like, and then you're playing against your cousin, you're getting your ass beat cuz somebody's got like a stick.
16:49 Stick wins, bro. Donatello with the reach, man. Every time. Have you played Have you ever played the first Ninja Turtles on Nintendo? 's character is the worst. Really? Superintend Raphael literally goes like this. If these are the sides, he goes, "Yeah, that's it." It's like putting his finger in front of him. It's barely. You get these bats flying at you. You could barely hit him there. You can't do ████ with Raphael. Yeah. Their personalities didn't stand out till later for me. Like we're like, "Oh, Michelangelo's always the goofy one." And then like Raphael's a ████ got a chip on his shoulder like and then Donat's the the smart nerd. Wait, so he's supposed to be gay? The gay one. Really? He's autistic one. He's gay. I didn't know he was gay. Oh, dude. He's sticking sticks up his ass the whole ████ time. You think he's gay? He's sitting on his sticks, dude.
17:39 Is that what you're talking about? You think so? He's always like, I'm gay. Show that I am in fact gay. My data. Wait, did you guys play the fighting game? The Ninja Turtles fight tournament fighter. That ████ was that ████ Ninja Turtles during lunch, guys. Wait, that is that's not when they're when you could get all four and then you go through like it's like No, it's like it's just like a Street Fighter game. What? Like Ninja Turtles. But the turtles have breaking moves as specials. Yeah. The When did that come out? Hell yeah. They're hella dope. New York. And you could be freaking Shredder for the first time just destroying turtles. Oh, what? Dude, their like voices were just the same Japanese guy, so it all sounds funny. Do you guys remember like watching those shows and feeling like you're on crack?
18:31 Like it was like drugs, dude. It was like drugs. Yeah. When you were a kid, those those are the kind of ████ that's like ████ smoking or something. No, it's like I need another like the show ends, you're like, I need another one. I need it now. And then you can't wait. Like you wake up, got bed head and ████ and you're wide awake cuz that's your ████ coffee hit in the morning. Heck. Yeah. And then you take it out the VCR when you're done. You self-re that ████ with the green thing on top. You know, Teen Turtles 2. Put that ████ back in ████ And you watch it again. Dude, I used to watch Remember the opening scene where like the pizza guy is like dropping off pizza in Turtles 2? Yeah. And the guys like save him. I probably watched that over and Yeah. I just kept rewinding. Who's that actor? What's his name? Oh, dude. Asian. This is such a small thing. Maybe
19:21 it's like the the the young dancer that wasn't a dancer yet. I thought it was so tight when was it Michelangelo? He like gets on that clown thing or maybe Donatello and he pushes them and then he gets on it and then the guy walks by. He's like, "Yeah." And I was like, "Yo, that was sick movement." But I didn't get it. I was like, "How do you move like that?" Then they sound designed it too. Yep. It's probably your dad sound designed. It's like in the beginning when he's like pushing and going, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was so sick." Yeah. All the I remember they like I think they Raph stuck size in the ceiling and then picked himself upon threw his swords up. That would never work, dude. That would never ████ work. Or dude, I took sausage links because ████ Michelangelo pulled it down. I took sausage links at a grocery store one time and my mom got pissed. Tied them together. How How would you
20:11 get mad at me for that? That was so cool. Misleading in the way that like remember when they they stormed that apartment and then for some reason all the foot soldiers had long axes like from the medieval times and they kept trying to smash like Michael and he would just ████ do this and the axe would go here over and over and he's like having a conversation. I saw that and was like, "Oh yeah, that is how you would dodge an axe." Side to side using his shell too. Yeah. You just literally turn when they swing it and I'm like, "Dude, I would have gotten killed." Dude, that scene was nuts. That it got real. The first one got serious. First one's legit good movie, dude. Raphael always gets everybody in trouble. It's the craziest thing. Yeah. Aren't they going to make another one? They're always going to make another one. Yeah, they I don't like how they've been making R. They're going to make a gritty one. Oh, you're talking about Ronin. Yeah, they are making video game off of that. The last
21:03 Ronin. Yeah, last Ronin. Yeah, that's the one where the the rest of them are dead, right? That's going to be tight. We want We want it, but we want it to be R. We don't want none of this kid nonsense. We grew up with them. We're old ████ I don't like how they made it more serious. They're not cute anymore. I just want them to murk a bunch of all the cute remakes that like suck in the last like 10 years. I seen the recent ones where they made the turtles more like serious. And I'm like, why you got to make the turtles look like that? What are we What are we on the Daily Wire right now? Michael Bay. They made him woke. It's for kids. It's not for adults. ████ you. I like this ████
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