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What Age Do Latinas Become True Tortas?

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0:00 Hey, you guys all like Latinos, right? >> Big booty Latinos. >> Yeah. Do you actually like Latinos or did that just kind of happen coincidentally? >> I think it happened coincidentally. [laughter] >> So, you didn't have a taste for I didn't really have like, you know, like some people like I really like big foodie Latinas. >> Uh I think like maybe childhood or like celebrity crushes. It was like maybe one out of five chicks. So, I thought Eva Mendes was one of the hottest chicks ever growing up. >> Oh, okay. Still is. >> That was probably like one of my own. I never was into I never had a JLo phase. >> Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. >> But yeah, but I just fell into it. Just happened. >> Selma. >> Oh, come on. >> Come on. >> That's not even >> It's cheating. >> That's for the human race. That's too I know you like Latinos, Will, right? Oh my. Yeah, I love it. It's like um [laughter] It's the best. I I grew up in Phoenix, so it's like a lot of a lot of

0:50 lat like the Mexicans. [laughter] Hey, are you are you still with your girl? >> Oh, yeah. She's Filipino though. >> Well, same thing. >> That's like Asian, Latina kind of. Close enough. >> They all got conquered by the Spaniards, bro. >> Yeah, they smell the same. >> Everybody's like laughing at this one photo. I wanted to ask if there's any truth to it to you guys. [laughter] >> That's what my dad would say. You know that? >> Your dad would say that? How would your dad How did your dad know that? >> So, when I first got with Gio, my dad uh my dad was like, "Oh, what what is she? >> That's ████ up." >> I was like, "What is she?" And she was And I was like, "Oh, Mexican." And he was like, "Oh boy." He was like, "The minute you get married." My dad was this is verbatim what my dad did. He goes, [snorts] [laughter] >> he's like this. He's like, "The minute you get married." Right. And then I remember I remember, no offense, but I

1:43 remember one of the first times we had our parents meet and go out for dinner. >> Yeah. >> And my dad saw Gio's mom. He's like, "I told you." >> Dad's [laughter] insane. >> No offense, mom. If you watch this, >> dad is insane, dude. But >> she ain't big. >> Who? She [laughter] was mom. >> He said who? >> Mayor. >> Mayor. Mayor. >> No, not like she's not like that. I mean, this is like >> That's a That's what I mean. >> City commissioner, >> dude. [laughter] Comproller. Dude, you're comproller now. I mean, kind >> She ain't her sister. >> Her sister's like 340. >> THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, THOUGH. That's what that's it's not that [laughter] >> Gio sister 340. >> 340. >> Wow. >> See 53. >> That's a football player. >> 40. >> You're not You're not exaggerating. >> I'm not exaggerating. >> 340. >> Cuz she told me she lost 50 lbs once and

2:34 I was like, "Oh, how much do you weigh now?" She says 285. >> You can't have normal coilovers [laughter] >> in your car. You got to adjust your car suspension. >> 340. >> Yeah. Okay. All right. >> And strictly scientifically speaking, Gio's mom is still a good like 240 probably. No, really. I haven't seen her in a long time then. Okay. That's my memory of her >> medical point of view. Ma, I'm not saying anything else. >> Are you getting back in the race for mayor right now? [clears throat] >> Yes. >> Okay. [laughter] >> So, like I know this is an exaggeration. 25 is crazier. >> That's hilarious. What do you think the real age is for >> like it's going to happen no matter what? >> Yeah. [laughter] >> What do you think the true age is? 26. 26 is only year off.

3:25 >> It's pretty I don't know. I feel like once they >> 26 [laughter] when they're in a longterm relationship. >> Uh-huh. >> Right. I mean, let's be honest. >> Okay. >> I think the first one or two years, you know, you're just so happy eating all the time. >> Yeah. >> And then like, let's say you put on that weight. >> Mhm. It's I think from there it starts to go >> because it's hard to take it off. It >> Yeah, it is. >> I mean, it's like let's say you had such a great time, dinner and movies all the time and then like oh ████ we both put on some weight. >> Like what are we going to do? Like have less dates now? Now that we're 3 years in and try to like ████ run and ████ together. >> Yeah, it's hard, >> dude. Mexican food is so ████ good, too. >> That too. >> Yeah. >> And their spoon is a tortilla. >> It is too good. I can't understand how if that's in your cultural like your cultur's food, how do you not eat that? >> Their cuisine, it's three portions of

4:17 carbs >> and chips and salsa. >> Four portions of carb cuz you got tortillas, rice, beans, and chips and salsa >> and they're free. >> It's like, dude, that's like, how are you not going to get 25 [laughter] >> 25 >> flaming margaritas? >> And the way they eat fruits is full of sugar and candy on it. Oh, right. >> Like you can't just have a apple. You got to pull Lucas and all that ████ It's so good. >> They're having enturitos. I don't even [laughter] know what that is. I mean, come on. That's part of Mexican cuisine. >> Oh, is this like a Taco Bell thing again? >> I don't think so. [laughter] >> Oh. Oh, gordita. >> Taco Bell has the hottest uh sauce you've ever had in your life, right? >> That's a good call back. [laughter] >> You think this goes for any other race? >> Oh, there's a Russian stereotype. >> Really? What is that? do that women are super ████ supermodels and then they

5:08 turn into old babushkas like when they're 30 or something. >> Well, they say that about Asians, too. Asians like don't they look like they're 10 years old until they hit 70. >> Asians, it's like you have this for many many years and then overnight in like the later age, it just becomes like a a little freaking >> a radish. Asians might be like, >> "Yeah, a radish >> at 50." This one is saying this one they're saying Latinos at 25. >> [laughter] >> That's ████ up, dude. >> Really low. >> Exaggerate. But that's for the comedy. No, >> it's got to be for the comedy. Anybody seriously? >> Nobody really thinks that. >> No way. >> By the way, by the way, look at Selena Gomez and left. Test me, bro. Are you kidding me? >> Test me. >> Okay. I was mad in love with a Mexican chick in high school and saw her when she was 30. And good god, I'm glad her mom didn't like me. >> That's insane. What a hater, dude.

5:58 >> What an absolute hater. >> How old are you, Will? >> Uh, 26. So, you're this is right your age. Do you [laughter] do you see this happening? >> Actually, you know what? There's this girl I had a really big crush on in high school. She was Latina and then I saw her at a I went back to Phoenix and I saw her at a show. We're 26 now. >> Mhm. >> And she's single now >> and we hooked up in her truck on the lake. >> Hell yeah. >> Sounds romantic. >> Yeah, it was really nice. >> When you see her now, what she look like? [laughter] >> A thousand yards stare. Hey, >> like you just came back from Normandy or [laughter] something. >> Why'd you have a D-day? You had a D-Day face. >> No, it wasn't like It wasn't like crazy, but it wasn't like, you know. >> Is she closer to the right side of the screen or the left? >> She's like in the middle [clears throat] >> and the middle's crazy. [laughter] >> No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. She's more

6:48 on the left. >> Oh, >> but she It's because she went through a bad breakup. >> So, that makes people fat. If you're trying to know, if you want to get them to like, oh, chill, you got to get them to some toxic emotional things where they, oh, I need to go back to gym. I need to get back. >> Oh, for the glow up or they're like, okay, I'm going to come back different, >> right? They can't be happy. [laughter] >> You got to make them a little bit sad. >> Oh, okay. So, this probably is the result of like a happy life, right? >> Yeah. A few kids, you know, happy. >> I don't think they were ever the same people to begin with in life. Like you're looking at like a Spaniard celebrity that's basically European high like luxury life and then you got one of the peasants on the right like >> peasant with headphones. Not bad. She did okay. >> That's true. I have those same shorts

7:39 [laughter] cuz we're talking it's like when you watch a Mexican soap opera, right? It's all the Europeans in the soap opera then you have the maid who's like the Indian like native native Mexican lady. >> Yeah. It looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger's maid. Yeah, >> that he was banging. >> I have seen gave it all up. >> I have seen chicks that like peaked in middle school and high school. >> Middle school. >> Yeah. You don't you don't you don't even notice though. You don't even know. [laughter] >> Peaked in middle school. >> Oh, dude. Shout outs to Sally. Sally Win. >> You're using her name for real. >> Yeah. Sally Win uh from Critos >> in middle school. She was the hottest middle [laughter] schooler >> when you were a kid. >> When I was a kid. >> Thank you. >> She was the hottest middle schooler I've ever seen. >> And it was one of those where like if

8:31 you asked any guy at the school who his dream lady would be. >> There would not even be a second place. Everyone would be like, "Sally, Sally, Sally, Sally." That's how crazy she was. And then I remember when people started getting on Facebook and I'm like I wonder what happened to her and she peaked in middle school cuz in high school she was already like on the 25 side. Yeah. >> Saline when >> saline when >> Vietnamese. What happened there? >> I don't know. >> I don't know. But if someone clipped what you just said and just cut it off before you said when I was a kid. That ████ would be crazy. >> Listen 10 years ago 10 years ago you would have worded that much differently. I'm very proud of him right now. >> Yeah. Good job. That was a clean version. What happens to Vietnamese people when they be when they have this situation? >> Um, and does it at all? Cuz I don't see it as often. >> I don't really It's just me probably. [laughter]

9:21 >> I'm not like the most skinny. I'm like, you know, >> it's just me, >> but I'm pretty consistent. I've been kind of chubby my whole life. It's been pretty consistent. >> Oh, okay. Yeah. >> I don't know. They're pretty I would say most time pretty skinny. >> Yeah. Vietnamese girls, they maintain for a really long time. >> Yeah, there's some big ones though, but they normally just big throughout their whole life and they're not like a big big cuz they're happy. They're happy and they're eating. >> No, like a depressed like eating a night ice cream. >> Dad was doing drugs or something. >> Oh, >> dude. My Vietnamese friend V is like 40 and she looks like she needs a car seat. >> She does look super young, dude. Yeah, >> cuz Vietnamese Americans will eat like western food and grow, >> but then like Vietnam Vietnam Vietnamese K is like a six foot guy there. >> Right. Right. Right. Right. He's huge. >> This is a good picture of V. Yeah, she's a small. >> But that picture is like crazy. >> And Chad's extra tall, too.

10:11 >> He is. Me and Chad are both 6'4. >> That's how she records him. >> She looks so young and so like that's impressive. >> Yeah, she's tiny tiny chick. [laughter] >> Then you got this. What about What about Filipinos? Do you think they have a a point that they become I guess like the Filipino version? >> I I haven't heard that as a stereotype. >> What? >> Uh the Filipino like ladies getting big. I haven't heard that. Yeah. >> Yeah. I never I never read that. >> For me, I thought it would be like after they had kids. >> Mexican chicks was always the meme, I think. >> Yeah. Or Latinas is definitely >> I mean, if they're going to write that and it resonates with so many people cuz we've all seen it, dude. Cuz I think you know what it is though. It in Asians it's so subtle like they were kind of chubby and they got bigger, right? We're Latinas. You have like drop deadad gorgeous supermodel and then you're

11:02 like, "Oh, how are you the same person?" Cuz we've all seen it. You're saying the needle drastically. >> It's super drastic. >> I think that they're naturally born on the hotter scale like Latinas generally. That's my >> hotter at birth. >> Hotter at birth. >> Hotter. No. >> In middle school. >> I think that they just [laughter] mature in like and they're just hot. They had the hotter features. >> Everything happens earlier. >> Oh, you're right. Latina girls were more popular. They're like on Miller's Planet or something for >> Exactly. Exactly. from Interstellar. >> Yeah. When you were younger, pre high school, Latino girls were super popular cuz they developed quicker and their style was sexier. And then the Asian girls got popular after high school. >> Yeah. Because they weren't having to study so hard >> and it looked like their mom dressed them. >> Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. True. True. Yeah. >> They had like coolness. >> They seemed more independent sooner. >> Yeah. Or like in their culture there's

11:52 like a level of cool, right? Well, like Asians are just ████ >> sexless robots until you're high Yeah. until you're high school and above. And if you are, you have sex appeal, you're rebellious, you know? >> But after ████ college, that's that's when it's like ugly dub cleaning system comes in. >> And Latina ████ as soon as they got to school, they're hiking up their skirts or ████ pulling their midress up and ████ >> And then they get pregnant. >> Well, yeah, that too. They're really good at at uh fertility. >> They're so good at fertility. >> Yeah. Not that that's something you have to like physically like get good at [laughter] the style. >> But I thought that was so funny that like >> I haven't heard of a Mexican needing IVF. >> Never. >> That's true. >> Oh yeah. Is a pamphlet in Spanish at any point. Then that's how you know. >> Imagine. [laughter] >> Maybe the first IVF Latin doctor just

12:42 went out of business. >> Yeah. >> He's like, "What was I thinking? >> No one's coming in here. What the hell?" >> Well, how do you feel? Do you have any regrets that you went Latina? You committed to full Latina life? >> I am scared of the impending doom. >> Oh, you're scared of the Oh, you're scared of the Latina wrath. >> No, that the eventual >> He wakes up every day. He wipes his eyes and he's like he looks at her and oh, okay. >> He has another year. Every year after 25, Bart's been h like going, "Thank God." It's like a butterfly, you know? It's like you're the caterpillar is going to go in the cocoon and then it's going to turn into a butterfly. It's going to happen. >> You really think Gio like that's in her destiny? Like she can't escape it? >> [sighs] >> It's the meme. >> Why do you think I built a gym in our house? [laughter] Do >> you do you tell her like, "Hey, like you need to be locked in." >> No. If I don't If I see her not work out for like 2 days, I'm like, >> "No way." Really?

13:33 >> No. But I do scared though. I do. I do get scared. >> But the way Bar got lucky is he got a Mexican that hates food. >> Yes. >> So she's a unicorn and she has IBS >> and she hates Chipotle, doesn't she? >> No, she loves Chipotle. What the hell? Oh, you ate >> I do ate Chipotle. [laughter] >> Cuz I think I think next to Asians, Latins are the most explored. Like they like to eat at all kinds of different restaurants. Cuz when you you go to like a full-on Chinese restaurant where everybody's Chinese and you'll see like a Mexican family there, they can't even communicate and they're eating the real ████ and you're just like, "What the f███?" It's them and white hipsters. Yeah. >> So, it's either that it's like you don't have nobody else like doing um culture ████ tourism, eating all kinds of authentic restaurants. >> Yeah, that is true. Well, enjoy your uh your future, Bart. >> Dang. Selena Gomez, I forgot, dude.

14:24 >> Selena who? This is who we're looking at now. Okay, that's Selena Loma.

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