0:00 oh man this is this is some really good burger like this is really really good and then he snaps and goes shut the ████ up I don't give a f how good the burgers are and I was like holy [Laughter] [Music] ████ welcome to JK out the closet it's a banner day we got F Joe congrats your G finally Joe is going to open up to us about being independent at an early age so I don't know if it's the Vietnamese coffee but like bro leading up to my turn my heart's ████ racing it's scary dude you're good brother good you're good homie you're good I've never been nervous here what the fu I'm literally trembling right now I feel like I feel like I just came and like I
0:51 just get to chill now cuz I I just finished Mar it was it's a lot right it's a lot it's a lot it's a lot of your back it's a lot so I and like my head hurts cuz I talked for like so long and I'm not used to talking WR here I kind of ████ up on my assignment because Bart was like I for some reason I read it as what is your five most recent pivotal moments and then as you guys did yours I was like oh it's not recent no one's talking about anything recently no and then and in the last day Joe's list is legendary dude my list started off can we read off what it was originally so Joe's list started with retiring number one five so this is supposed to be Bart's Bart's prom right five pivotal moments that basically Define our Liv number two I got my car registered this episode was going to be
1:41 retiring so after I heard everyone cuz you guys got to go first I was like I think I did the homework wrong right so I had to go back and fix it and then I know what BART wanted out of this he wanted like something different like we around a lot I hate Saab stories because the way that we work here is like we just dude like why like why you got to have this dark ass I was I was abused we were all F abused right I wasn't abused Mar was like I wish I was molested I'm trying to come out the book yeah hey I was molested you should write a book write it may oh May will we write the forward it's also good service for new people that have subbed recently too to get to know everybody and so like I wanted to do a good job and I wanted to be a good student do my homework right so last minute I decided to change it up
2:32 and crossed it all out I guess the the first thing I wanted to talk about is like clearly I didn't have a a normal childhood like I was pretty Independent by 13 cuz my my dad left at 13 right and um recently my brother I haven't seen this dude in like almost a decade and my mom and and you know they came to Hawaii Hannah was there it was the first time like the family was together wow so your brother was in Hawaii too yeah we were in Hawaii this was like last year so dope yeah it was really cool it was like I think it was one of those moments where I was like oh ████ I didn't think this would ever happen again cuz me and my brother are pretty arranged and um it's only cuz also the age Gap we're like 12 years apart and there was this moment when we're having a good time we're eating dinner and
3:23 um my nephews were there too so it was pretty awesome and then the waiter is asking like oh how you guys all related and whatever and I said oh this is my nephew and then my brother goes second cousin right and then at that moment I wanted to grab the ████ fork and stick it in his neck and I just had this image of like repeatedly just stabbing him and I look over to my mom and I see her like it's like you know like when you when you think about doing it and then you see her and you're like oh I see her crying and I'm like what the ████ is wrong with my mind like what is this intrusive thought wow so a couple months ago I asked my mom right I was like yeah I know my brother like bullied me right but then like um she just started breaking down and then I told her I was like I wanted to kill him at the dinner table like I had this deep hat at the pancake store dude this is
4:14 First 5 minutes of dude first 5 minutes of Joe I can't even ████ eat my beef stick anymore I'm like some U pancakes we we're we at Tadashi so T the the the the the sushi place we always go oh yeah so my roommates are there everyone's laughing having a great time and the whole time I'm steaming and I just want to ████ murder my brother and then like so I'm just like asking my mom like why why am my like why is my head ████ up like what's wrong with me and then so she just started breaking down and she goes you had your ass handed to you by everybody every day and she goes you don't remember and I remember talking to my brother like um when I last saw him we were at my uncle's house and he kind of apologized to me and he goes like I wasn't a good brother like I uh
5:06 contributed to like so much of your ████ I was going through my ████ and he goes you're you know you were abused by everybody and I was like I don't ████ remember all I remember is like yeah my brother did bully me like I would come home and like he would hog tie me by my underwear and I would be like thrown under the couch and he would call me a like uh like a couch so he just sit on me while he's watching TV for like an hour or like whatever like would ████ with an hour how big is your couch then oh we had one of those couches where you could pull the bed out oh so he could stuff me under holy ████ dude and then so like or or like to him he's probably just ████ around right so he made like a BB gun and then he wanted a Target so I had to be like a duck and then go quack quack quack and then walk back and forth while he shot at me so like and he's 12 years older than that's a true gamer though so it's
5:57 fun for him if he's 17 but you're I'm terrorized right that was before tubers by the way were doing games in real life and he could have made some content off Visionary also duck hunt was huge back there huge it was expensive too so that that that's the funny ████ that I remember and there's other darker ████ that I guess he told me like you know like my dad wake me up in the middle of the night ████ kick my ass or whatever and then like like like your story where like your dad was mad at you right he came home from work just to beat your ass like things like that I don't remember all I remember is is like maybe I didn't play the right piano keys and then so all of a sudden I'm getting socked up or like there's and then like but the thing is I didn't know my mom did it I didn't know my grandma did it I didn't know like everybody did it well who's everybody can you everybody like Grandma Mom Dad the neighbor the friend
6:47 literally how long is the list uh my mom I don't think she abuse me the way that my dad did it was a lot of discipline but like she still hit right so my um my mom my dad my grandma my brother my uncle my friend's dad oh ████ David's you know David Eddie's best friend yeah uh a mailman Jesus Christ members from church oh that's another thing too so the violence was so normal that it was like extended to our uh Community cuz like it was normal so like let's say we were ████ around at church me and Eddie you know you know he knows one of my closest friends when we were growing up and we're just being ████ loud kids during church service and one of the uh Elders comes up he
7:38 lines us up like a military style and just whacks Us full like in our faces boom boom boom all right now stand up with your hands up and we're just like as soon as you drop it you're going to get slapped so was ████ like that military style we're like six seven years old like I don't know right wow um I remember this is how normalized it was so like my buddy David um and he went to your school too he was the tall half Japanese half Chinese guy so his dad was ████ nuts like and it was so turbulent like we're like playing like ████ Mario Brothers we're having a great time we're eating dinner right and then we're sleeping over his house me Eddie and and my buddy David his dad is like a jolly drunk he's like feeding me like all this weird Chinese food and and we're having the time of our lives and then it comes time to go to bed so
8:28 we're going to bed and we hear him talking ████ to his wife like yelling screaming ████ ████ ████ all this stuff right and so my friend David he starts trembling and crying like he's just I can hear him crying right and then you hear him smacking his wife up oh ████ and then we're just like oh ████ this is crazy like this is getting crazy cuz like my parents are violent and ████ but they don't my dad doesn't beat my mom my uncle doesn't beat my like even if they did none of us ever saw it so that's a next level of like crazy that I was just like scared and then so um he comes into the bedroom after and he's drunk you could smell the alcohol the cigarettes and he starts petting um David oh my God and he's
9:18 like uh crying clearly crying he's like he's scared as ████ D is crying David's crying me and Eddie are pretending like we're sleeping and we're just like holy ████ you guys must be ████ scared we were scared as ████ right petting him and he's petting them he goes oh no I'm I'm sorry did I scare you I scared you why the ████ are you crying like that kind of ████ in Japanese and then we're like oh my God right and then like he grabs David takes him to the bathroom beats his ass oh my God and we're like ████ tearing up and we're just like ████ are we next right and then like after especially if it already happens at church and it's a community everyone beats each other and so he comes into the room again after David David's like sobbing he goes in and then he starts petting
10:08 us and I ████ feel this ████ touching my head what the ████ and he's like I'm sorry I scared you I'm sorry don't tell your parents you're okay right and I'm just like like I'm asleep I was like I'm not I'm not ████ crying bro like I was like ████ God damn that's a ████ horror film ████ Jes and then so um thank God like he didn't ████ us up but I thought I was next like I thought there is no like only he's getting ████ up I thought he was going to ████ me and Eddie up and me and Eddie were just probably like oh God please not not us not us right and so he went to me and then he went to Eddie just petted him he goes good night right and then he gets out and then the whole night I that was like we're just ████ wide awake but this is how ████ up it
10:59 in Normal it was I still kept going to his house to sleep over I couldn't wait I couldn't wait for it it never happened again I mean there was still him like yelling open the pizza so good dude the duck tongue or maybe it's what you you suppressed it and it might have happen again but you don't remember I don't maybe but at the same time I think like um it never really went that hard to to us like it's always him or whatever I mean I remember one I mean so here here's the thing like it's not all bad like it was bipolar yeah like he took us to ████ Disneyland bought us all this ████ like he was balling like he was like a company executive at some I forgot what it was but I remember like it was fun to go because he would just say you guys want to go to
11:50 Disneyland like and everyone's like hell ████ yeah right and then like we go there and if I went to Disneyland with my parents they're not buying me stuffed animals they're not buying me to boys they're not buying me food there yeah they do The Full Experience packing rice balls and then I'm just like what the ████ but his dad was like like it was a fun time like we're going there he's buying us everything and then so uh that's probably why I was like a hoe like hey ████ it he's going to hook me up I'm and I remember one day we were going on the way to Disneyland and um we got some burgers and we're eating the burgers in the car and I was like oh man this is this is some really good burger like this is really really good and then he snaps and goes shut the ████ up I don't give a ████ how good the burgers are and I was like holy ████ oh my god dude that's insane how
12:43 expressive were you about how good the burger was that was going he was slapping his KNE I guess I was annoying him right but like shut the ████ up to like a 11-year-old probably like Joe at lunch where he's like oh this is like so good and rest in peace I mean I love his dad like he was still in his own Twisted way oh he dead what the he's dead right but like I think like this was normalized and then I didn't I talked to my mom about this ████ and I was like you know how ████ crazy it was and then I was like I didn't even tell you that's what happened and then so she was like yeah like when you came home like you know you got a bad gray your grandma found out she whooped your ass and then she told us and then every hour when someone was coming home from work or school it it's like they didn't talk to each other so it's like you got a bad grade so it's whatever so this became a thing of like
13:36 normalized abuse and violence and then since all of us were going through it like from going to church like it's normal my friends got their asses handed to it was not like a weird place even my elementary school I went to a ghetto ass Elementary School like it would be pretty normal where there parents are like at a PTA meeting and then their ghetto ass mom is like ████ wailing on them in front of the teacher whatever right so then I think like what I'm getting with this is like a lot of people feel bad if a father leaves their child or whatever it is but I think the best thing that did happen to me when I was 13 is him leaving because I never I didn't have to go back to church where I was getting ████ up I didn't have to socialize and like be in a weird environment where the adults are like
14:26 the terrorizers and then like looking back it it it's kind of like this bitter sweetness of like that gave me the opportunity and freedom to like become my own person very early on and it would have been great if I had like strong Role Models or like something to kind of like lean on and it's probably why I got into like a ████ up group of guys that's what ends up happening right but I think like I look back and I and it's one of those tragic moments where I do see a huge Silver Lining cuz I'm like what would have the Joe been today if I desperately wanted to be validated by these kind of guys I would have fell into the footsteps of the stubbornness and
15:16 violence and craziness that like all the men in my family and who the role models were they were that and they're they were pillars of the community so like my friend David's dad he's he was a very successful businessman my uncle who was like my second father he was a preacher and pretty prominent in the Japanese American community and so they don't know what these guys these powerful guys are like behind closed doors they like if the people knew like the the like the church members like I don't think they would have their positions or maybe they would be like that's normal cuz they grew up that way right like it was maybe normalized for in general the Japanese Community the way they grew up maybe it was worse so I guess like even even for
16:08 my dad too I'm like well he did better than his own pops cuz when I heard his story I was like oh ████ like poor guy like um his mom died giving birth to him and uh out there like his dad was a CEO of some type of like magazine and publishing like electrical ████ and um at that time they were all about image I still think it is today if you're like a higher up person right you have to be married you have to keep up with appearances so he immediately remarried to a widow of a good family and she came with her own set of kids and uh I heard she was like a evil stepmother like uh
16:59 you know so my father never had a mother so as soon as he was born um I he said he told my mom all these ████ up things like let's say they bought a cake right and then so what she would do is chop up everybody like a nice piece of all her kids all the guests everyone and she would have a little ████ crumb like that and go happy birthday and give it to my dad what the ████ ████ up ████ after I heard these stories I was like no wonder he's ████ messed up yeah he's like so ████ I mean he probably loved me in his own way but he's he was ████ up because like the normalization of how s█████ he was treated okay you got by everybody in the whole ████ neighborhood apparently and you came out great you're one of the best people I've ever met bro no I I I didn't all like fully I mean now it's probably I work
17:50 through my demons but like a lot of the ████ I suppressed and it took like talking to my mom about understanding all of these things and then so um at that point when I started hearing these stories I started having a little bit more empathy instead of blame for the people that have done wrong to me same with my uncle like when he was um a baby so his mom um so his father is an alcoholic and would repeatedly beat his mom and um so when my uncle was an infant she ran away with him and uh left her other children with him so there was a lot of resentment I think they they had to heal all that and the way he tells his story it sounds like he had a great time because they have these Like farmh Houses in
18:41 Japan where when it's harvest season you know it's it takes like miles to get back to their uh farm so they just have like little plots of places where people could sleep so they broke into one they lived there for a minute they were jumping around from horse barns and whatever until like uh back then you need to have a husband right to take care of you and all that so he was kind of like homeless with his mom and it sounded like to me I didn't want to tell him but it sounded like she was making ends meet by being a hooker but um it was pretty yeah it was ████ up ████ so of course he's ████ up and his idea of masculinity is like the toughest ████ like he got into a lot of fights all of a lot of his friends were organized crime guys same with my dad like they just were very like up to become failures but they did the best that they could by joining a church
19:31 trying to be good people but like so I'm I'm kind of conflicted right I'm I'm growing up in this conservative Church environment with these menacing male figures and then at 13 when I became basically abandoned by a lot of people like my grandma left my house cuz she had a falling out with my dad um my brother like we're 12 years apart so he went off and you know obviously after college he became an adult moved out my dad had an affair left when I was 13 so it was just literally me and my mom but it was one of the first times in my life that I felt safe and free and that was probably the weirdest but like okay I'm independent now I could do whatever the ████ I want and that's kind of where I got into like
20:23 drugs um graffiti and the four elements of hip-hop which that in a second but ultimately that makes so much sense as to why you're so nice to hookers be back very soon with Joe's Joe's graffiti life and his life with drugs
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