0:05 Okay, Drew Belcher. If you came up with the perfect god damn recipe for Taiwanese fried chicken. Okay? Let's say that and you knew it would change the game. Would you rather go full on 100% cultural appropriation and advertise that you perfected Taiwanese chicken? Or would you rather hire a fake Chinese guy to act like he's the creator and you just collect from the operation as a shadow boss? >> Objection, leading the witness. And is it is it is it my restaurant? It's yours either way. But you can only go full on one side or the other. Full appropriation where you own it and you're like I perfected >> I did it. You're the guy who did it. >> I did it. >> Yes. >> I'm the guy. >> Or you get like a you get a fake guy. >> eyes. White boy, too. That'd be sick.
0:57 Your white boy who looks like the guy from Reno 911, dude. That'd be a nightmare. If you pick the fake Chinese guy to be the front man, then no one will ever know, but you still collect some money, not all of it. >> Yeah, hire Bart. You just pay him as an actor. Yeah, and I I run the risk of him blackmailing you. >> And I have no business partners? It's just me? >> It's just you or you and the chi- and the ████ But now you got to split your profits, right? >> Yeah, and and they didn't do anything but just look Chinese. All right, dude, it's so tough right now cuz dude the moment it hits social media you're getting ████ immediately ████ roasted and boiled. >> think there's something you can gain by just being so full on owning this whole thing? >> But isn't all news good news? I mean so so again, I I still announce all the new flavors for Shiono's already and I release like the new series and it's definitely Asian influenced for ████ sure.
1:47 >> Yeah. Um But you don't say it's the best one and you perfected it. >> You took it and perfected it and made it >> Like took someone else's recipe and perfected it. >> And took all the dirty ████ out. >> all their We took their recipe, we ████ it in the ass. Am I Do I still get to add MSG? You can do whatever you want. >> to You have to Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? I'm probably just being me, the marketer that I am. Mhm. What's the theme of the restaurant? It's very ████ So, I own the restaurant and I'm serving Chinese food or whatever. >> And you're And you're like full on being a bastard about it. And you're bowing at customers, dude. And we're in like the garbage ████ >> You wear like the Fu Manchu mustache. I'm Christian in The Last Samurai. >> Like a fake mustache and I'm wearing it with the with the And you're going on a 1940s Chinese cartoon. And you're just And you're standing there they're going Yeah, I did it. And you're like, "The Last Samurai
2:37 is the greatest ████ movie ever made." No, no, no. You You have You basically just go, "Hello." "Hello." >> Yeah. You know what? I And it truly is the best Taiwanese fried chicken restaurant. >> restaurant been open? Does it have like a Yeah, does it have like a pretty consistent Yeah. >> You debut it with this. Oh, that's a brand new restaurant? Yeah. Cuz you go, "Guys, I just figured out the best recipe. It's mine. I've perfected it. I took out all that Chinese s███." >> There's so many factors so many factors. The Chinese ████ I took all that dirty Chinese ████ out. Extracted all the dirtiness. >> Oh, no. >> It's actually sanitary in the back. A A A health grade. We're good. It's hanging proudly hanging right there on the wall. >> And like And all of our employees have authentic bowl haircuts.
3:27 I actually have the perfect move for him. >> What? Here's your lifeline. Here Okay, you go to Taiwan, you enter in a fried chicken competition. Okay. You pay off the ████ judges and you win first place. You're co-signed now by people from Taiwan. You keep that a secret. You open and just bait the racist to come through. You ████ cultural appropriate piece of ████ And you go, "Oh, sorry. I just love the culture so much. Here's a picture of me winning in Taiwan first place." Do you think they'll care? Dude, he's It'll make them look stupid. on Instagram in 5 seconds, dude. He's crying. No, because He's got a tear going down his I'll tell you why. It's I'll tell you a case where it actually worked. So, uh that one video game company was coming out with that with that ninja game.
4:17 The uh uh forgot what it was called. But, anyways, in the promotion, they they hired a a taiko team, right? And then there's actually >> about Assassin's Creed when they had a Japanese samurai? Or or a No, no, no. No, but in the promotional I forgot what game. It was a Japanese like samurai game or whatever. But, they they hired a drum team, Japanese drum team, right? One of the main guys, uh he was doing a lead drum, he was white. Yeah. So, everyone was like, "Why couldn't they get a ████ Japanese guy?" They didn't know he was actually a celebrity in Japan banned because he's a famous drummer. So, it's like it's one of those and then they shut the ████ up immediately. In the scenario, he's That means that drummer would have to say I perfected Japanese drumming by taking the Japanese out of it. Yeah, fair. Hey, dude, if you won first place, come on, man.
5:08 So, if I win first place in Taiwan making Taiwanese fried chicken and I get the stamp of approval from the Taiwanese people, the brethren, and I and I and I take the winnings of that and then go feed the Taiwanese homeless and our little kids Aw. Smart. Smart. Smart. Very smart. Very smart. >> going to say, "You know what? I love what they've done. I've just perfected it a little better and took it up a notch." That's it. >> And then at the end of your commercial you put a smoke bomb down. And he disappear. It's every stereotype. Oh, he knows everything about the culture. Dude, and I'm somersaulting off the ████ you know, and that's it. Dude, that is a hard one. That is a hard one. I mean, you're going to get rid of Bart. What what you against hiring the fake Chinese guy? Bart wants the fraud. >> See, now now Bart's like, "You trying to not give me a job? Like, what's up?" >> I could probably bring him on as like a
5:58 like a greeter. Mhm. Especially on the busy weekends, for sure. And just sit at the front, dude, and do your thing. You can be the face of the be the face. But, I'm definitely taking the credit for making the perfecting the recipe. Yeah, and it's inarguably perfect. Inarguably. Yeah. Like, you can eat it all day. Oh, this golden river is ████ fire, dog. This is so ████ fire. And then Bart's like, "Let me introduce you to the chef." And he comes out. What the ████ is up, guys? And then Bart's like, "I taught him everything I know." >> That's it. Yeah. And they're like, "Cool, can we see you make some?" And then Bart's like, Yeah. Uh uh yeah, my hands are too tired. My hands are shaking. Let me talk Let me ask my wife, friend. How do I make this? You do. Okay, you hire a Taiwanese guy that has amputated hands. And you create a story that he had He was a world-famous, ████ good cook.
6:50 And then he can't cook anymore, so you're going to be his hands. >> No, he's doing he's doing ninja stuff. And he took his hands off. Doing ninja ████ Too many smoke bombs. He was He was He was messing with size and he took his hands Size? What the Yeah, sorry, guys. Because of that, now you have to be You have to help him. >> that's the story. >> of this chicken and now I'm I'm his hands. Yeah, and he just needed the the wife save. hands and the body is just going. Yeah, the body is just going. That's it. That's the winner. Okay. It's not bad. Which one Which direction do you think you could go if you had to pick them? I I probably have to own it and say, "You know what? I'm the ████ king dingaling Taiwanese fried chicken ████ dude. I'm the guy." Yes, dude. >> guy. Yeah, no none of that. Just straight up. >> And I'll hire the the goons to just hit hit the block with me and just The goons?
7:40 I I that. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. I respect that. Work. I feel like if somebody cuz nobody's really done this to where they owned it to that degree. You know what I mean? They always Closest is, you know who Ivan Ramen is? Oh, yeah. Oh, he told us about him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Opened a Michelin star ramen place in Japan. Yeah. And he he's like I don't know if he said he's the greatest of all time that's not now. He's not saying he's the best. You got to say the mean stuff. Oh, no, no, I am the number one. ████ these ████ Okay. I mean it's just like that white homie that does the the sushi. That has like the scratch sushi restaurant. Oh, no, I don't know about that. A burger restaurant as well. No, it's a like a good looking white guy, too. Oh, really? Chef Phillip, I think, something. Out here? No, no, no, it's in Austin, Austin. I think I heard about that. >> Sushi by Scratch or whatever it's called. Yeah, it's it's I saw a video on
8:30 him. Yeah. Yeah, it's phenomenal. Yeah, and it's like a white dude. >> What's different about it? And it's like super crazy like omakase like to perfection. It's just just this white dude that learned how to make like sushi rice for 5 years in Japan and crazy ████ Man, it doesn't matter whose ████ fingers touched it. That's like the stupidest ████ I've ever heard. >> if you're white. It does if you're white. One of the best sushi I've ever had was from a lazy eye Mexican. Like straight up, don't even speak English. His eye went one eye with the other way. I don't know why his eyes were crooked this way, but he made the best ████ sushi and it's because the owner the owner is a uh IS IT OPTOMETRIST? JUST MAKE SURE HIS EYES STAY that way.
9:20 The owner is a the number one distributor of fish in like Little Tokyo, right? Like Southern California. Yeah. So, his wife was like, I want a like restaurant. So, then he just bought a restaurant. >> part of the refrigeration district. >> He knows sushi like no other. So, he would hire all these Japanese chefs and he goes, these ████ are so stubborn and they think they know everything. They don't make sushi the way I want it done." So then he goes, "F███ you Japanese." He's Japanese, too. "F███ you Japanese." And then he he's like, "Hey, come over here, Hector." And he just started training them. And then he made it exactly the way that he liked it. And then so I went in and I'm like, "Dude, this is better than ████ Japanese chefs." Better than actual Japan. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. It was really ████ good. >> So do you think if that guy were able to advertise his place saying, "I have perfected Japanese sushi." The lazy-eyed
10:11 Mexican? Yeah, would he be able to survive? >> imagine. Hector, dude. >> Three Honda Civics spoon engine. ████ going, dude. Don't let that distract you from the fact that he's Mexican. Don't let that distract Come on. I would I would taste his sushi and be like, "You know what? It's true It's true. You are the You're ████ you next level this s███." Yeah. I mean, in America, every restaurant says that they're number one sushi, so why can't this this white ████ Taiwanese fried chicken? I'm the guy, dude. Yeah, but you have to it always comes paired with slander. You have to slander the ethnicity that you're you're appropriating. >> What if your food sucks and everything? You just want to be racist so you open up a restaurant just to talk some ████ That's pretty cool. Well, bro, there's a there is one on I don't know if you guys have seen it. It's in Europe. It's called uh allegedly, it's called uh n i g g a burger. Oh, I saw that. That's real? How
11:01 do you How do you pronounce it? Mean. No, no, dude, it's real. >> No way. What? And it's just every single piece of content has so many comments, obviously. And it's made to be racist? That is crazy. >> like anything el- It doesn't mean anything else in another word? Is it in Mexico? Where's it at? Um it is What the There may be more than one now. Oh, they're grow- There's Oh, no, no. Yeah, that's >> Yeah, this one. Yeah. >> yeah. Argentine Argentina. It's half you. Dude, dude, my mom's from Argentina. Damn, that's crazy. >> Hey, hey, a lot of Nazis there. They ran away to Go up for you guys. >> Look at that, dude. Woah. >> You guys like that? Woah, wow. God, THIS IS A GOD.
11:52 YOU'RE A cat off.
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