0:00 When do you stop taking it from your chick? >> [laughter] >> Never. >> So Agreed? >> Never. >> So This is a boyfriend-girlfriend situation. His He is 23 years old. This is a Reddit post. >> Mhm. >> He's been with his girlfriend for over a year. He says she's genuinely a great person, affectionate, loving, has many qualities I really appreciate. But I feel like I have to baby her a lot. Small things she could do herself. Like getting the remote that's right next to her. >> Mhm. >> Grabbing her bag from the cupboard even if she's standing and I'm laying. I get that you do things for your partner and I do, but she will literally hand ball anything she can. Her mom has even told me herself that everyone works for her. It wears on me. I do a lot for her. I drive her places. I help her with things without expecting anything back. But lately it feels expected instead of appreciated. >> Dude, that sucks. That part >> That's the part. >> Mhm.
0:50 >> Uh and I hope people learn from this. Uh yesterday she asked me to help crush three cardboard boxes. I said no. I felt like I've helped plenty already. Little gay. Little weird. >> That's kind of >> But that's a guy job. >> guy job. Yeah, little weird. >> Well, yeah. Maybe she should have waited for something else. >> You know what I mean? And saying I've helped plenty already is wild. >> Yeah. >> Um she got upset, called me an A-hole, told me to go home. Later she asked if I felt emasculated watching her crush boxes because as a man I should help. Agreed? >> What the heck? >> There's just certain jobs that guys should be doing though. >> This took a funny turn. Trash >> Dirty things. >> They're default your jobs. >> Yeah. 100%. >> Also like welcome to the club. Everybody goes through that feeling. We don't write about it. Like I'm not saying >> He's 23. >> saying you don't get out of that situation. >> It's his first time though it sounds like. >> I'm saying you like >> He's young.
1:40 >> Okay. >> Give him a break. >> Okay. All right. >> I can't I can't give him a break. You know why? >> Okay, please. >> Because I think when I was 23 I was so much of a ████ cuck I would overdo it. >> Ooh. >> So if >> Give me four cardboard boxes. >> like a waiter. >> that I'm older and married, I'm like, "Man, ████ you could do some of this ████ What the f███?" >> That's way later. Right, I think when you're the the more younger you are, the more chivalrous you're over chivalrous. >> called sweat equity. >> Yeah, cuz you're trying to over impress, right? >> Right, you're trying to overdo it. >> Yeah, but then now you're just like, "What the ████ ████ You know you could do half of this s███." >> That's also cuz you after some time you you realize what's required. >> [laughter] >> Yes, your your minimum's lower. >> There is a silver lining if he is complaining about it enough that it gets to a point where he's got to write about it and then maybe get out of it early though, because that means whatever the
2:30 next relationship, you know, God willing, like the boundary or the expectation, if it's actually clear and set, then that's how the momentum rolls, right? It's not like you get with somebody and then like the next day they just turn into that. It's like you you condition them over time. >> Train them in a way. >> It's because you chose to always try and step up that that that was the relationship that you bred, you know what I mean? So it's a part it's a part of you who you are in your relationship. If he really has a issue with this, which is okay if you have a ████ issue with it, just in your next relationship you got to like set that boundary and know that that's going to bother you so much you'll write about it on Reddit again. >> Yeah. >> Cuz for us we we we all get bothered by it, but you complain about it, you try to fix it in your home. That's it. >> It's a little different too cuz they clearly don't live together yet. Cuz she said he said that she told him to go home. So there's a little bit, you
3:20 know, when you live together you kind of know what your duties are and you just do them. I don't even do them with the awareness of someone's going to say thank you. You just someone's got to get it done. But if you're going to their house to do their chores, that's a little different. >> But but isn't it isn't it easier that she just tells you as to get ████ mad cuz you didn't do stuff? I I rather have that. I rather have like I can't do that, can't do that. Okay, and then you're done. And then you move on. Versus versus uh "Why didn't you do that?" >> Yeah. >> The expectation's weird. >> The ████ who are like the silently like "Hm." >> Yeah. [laughter] you forgot. >> And you're like, "What's What's the ████ going on, babe? What's going on?" And then she's like, "Matt, you said you're going to do the dishes. You didn't ████ do it." And you're like, "Oh, ████ I forgot." >> Yeah, that's weird. >> At the same time though, if you have a autistic husband or boyfriend like me, >> So you have an autistic boyfriend?
4:10 >> No, [laughter] I'm the I'm the guy. >> Asperger's too. Asperger's too. >> Asperger's too. >> We're not going to put that in the edit. >> There could be a chick coming back from Costco. >> Yeah. >> Arms full of like six grocery bags. And then I go, "I don't think she needs help until she asks me." And eggs are falling out of the bag. >> Oh, ████ >> Right? >> And Bart's like, "She's so strong." >> So sometimes it is >> Like she's on a diet. >> So sometimes it's kind of good when the guy doesn't have to wait for the question and just jumps in and takes care of it, too. >> Yeah, you jump in and grab it. >> That's wild, dude. >> [laughter] >> You don't need instructions for that. >> Dude, cuz I'm as a tall boy real quick, as a tall boy, when I see people reaching for something, I'm always like, "Hey, can I just get that for you and s███?" >> Yeah. >> And like I just feel guilty Catholic ████ right? That's it. >> Yeah, women always think I'm robbing them because on the airplane I just grab
5:00 their ████ and put it on the overhang without even talking to them. >> Yeah. And not not looking for a sheriff's badge or nothing. Just like this is the like what guys are supposed to do. >> And I'm afraid they're going to drop their suitcase on me, that's why. >> Exactly. >> It's not even out of good heart and >> Also like I've said this before and I feel like this is very very a lot of people can relate to this. Uh my wonderful wife is ████ superwoman when I'm not around. She's capable of anything and everything. She can move mountains for like all of her friends and all this stuff. >> You think she could change change her own spare tire? >> I honestly think she could lift the car and throw it when I'm not around. >> I'm caught I'm genuinely a believer she could do that. >> And then when you're around, it's like you can't ████ you can't wipe your ass. I don't know, you know what I mean? But but like that's that's a part of being in a relationship and you just have to accept that if that's the person you chose. >> also a compliment, though? Maybe you She
5:52 feels so well taken care of that she could [laughter] finally take her armor off, and she's like, "I could be your damsel." [laughter] >> I think I think it's all wrapped in that. That's like, "Wipe my ass." You You can You conditioned that relationship to be that. >> Yeah. >> And And if I'm going to be like completely honest and vulnerable and not married with myself, too, I think I think men do the same in different ways. >> How so? I really don't agree. >> I I think, for example, like I I'll be that guy. I'll admit it. I'll be that guy who's like, "You have to be" It's like the pain ████ stuff that you want me to ████ pretend >> That you're into, that you're getting hard about. >> Totally into it, by the way. >> [snorts] >> What pain ████ >> Same ████ What pain ████ >> If If everywhere and every other place that you got to be, you're either running ████ you're taking care of business, you're whatever, and sometimes when you get in the bed, you're like, "Please hold me." You get to be your version of a ████ >> Right. >> what I'm saying? So, I think your relationship presents that for like you
6:43 you're going to be a weaker version of yourself by choice for the sake of somebody being that thing for you so you don't have to be that outside your relationship. I just think that's natural for every relationship. >> That's nice. >> That's cute. >> I think the only time I felt like this is when I I'm like, in the middle of something, or I'm actually already doing work or whatever, and they're completely oblivious, and they're asking for layers and layers of stuff on top, regardless of how busy you are. So, that's when you're like, "Oh, this ████ is just inconsiderate." >> [laughter] >> But then, if I'm actually just chilling, and then like, you know, they're asking for help or whatever, I think that's normal. >> Like, everyone does that. >> Yeah. >> But in this case, I don't know. It's He just sounds like a ████ to me. My girl's asking me to do things. >> I think you just got to get used to it, brother. >> Yeah, honestly, you're right. Yeah.
7:33 >> That's ████ part of it. >> Like, it could be so much worse, bro. >> I know, right? >> [laughter] >> But then But he's young. He's 23. So, I just don't He's This is his first probably time going >> That's the only thing that I might give him though because at the same time if you know that like you can't handle that don't ████ go deep in that. Like you can't handle Yeah, stop. If it take If it If anything got me to a point where I had to do a Reddit ████ post about it Yeah. Like whatever it is, judgment or not, just get out of that situation. It's not for you. It's all >> Like sometimes ████ can't do things cuz they're like can you go get this for me cuz like I'm really cold? >> Oh dude, yeah. >> Like under a blanket. >> It is a bad precedent to set. Cuz I did that with homegirl that you know and in the beginning I was trying to date her and I did her ████ I sorted her receipts for the year for her taxes. >> Wow. >> And I And I helped her move. I packed all her ████ took it to storage
8:24 and I recruited a bunch of my friends to help me do more of her ████ >> Was she fine though? >> No, dude. I still felt No, I still felt like she wasn't even thankful even doing that. >> Did she touch your jiggle? >> Yeah, but but it's like it's still not worth it. >> But it's But it's a necessary good riddance lesson. Like unless you go through it, you don't know what you're about, you don't know what you can handle and stuff. So it's like it's still necessary. >> It's a reflection on how you see yourself though because I thought at the time that oh, she's so much better than me. I have to do these things to win her. But that's because I saw myself lower than her. And if you When you don't see yourself beneath someone, there's a nice healthy limit to how much ████ you're going to put up with. >> think dudes are self-aware enough like you are like you're a very smart person to know that they're
9:15 being lower. You know what I mean? >> Or maybe he thought of it now in retrospect. >> Yeah, I didn't know at >> Oh, so at the time you didn't know? >> At the time I just thought this is just what I got to do and then and like the more ████ that I do, the cooler I'll look. But it's absolutely the opposite. [laughter] >> You never got to the point where you're like, "Shut up, ████ I can't take it anymore." >> No, >> And you throw office chair? >> No, not at all. I really thought I had to like work my way up. It's ████ sad. But that's why like I see that when like guys are like having to do this ████ It's like levels. Yeah, it's like it's just about how you see yourself really. Like you then you wouldn't go writing about it to somebody about like >> This is after winning ABDC? >> No, bro. This is >> [laughter] >> Timeline matters, dude. Timeline matters. >> This is before winning anything. >> Because after ABDC you're like, "Shut up, ████ Go do that ████ yourself." >> Yeah, maybe he just got to go win
10:06 something in life. >> Yeah, honestly it helps a lot to win ABDC. >> Hey, when are you going to Hey, when are you going to do that? >> That's why I'm in a cuck relationship. That's why she can move mountains when I'm not around and when I come back I go, "Yes, Nina." >> [laughter] >> "Yes, Nina. Yes, Nina. I'm so sorry. I will grab that for you cuz you're cold." >> How do they open jars without guys around? >> They don't. >> They They just don't eat. >> They don't eat. >> No, they don't make what they wanted to make. >> Bro, they can literally Like it's easy. >> No, they can't. >> They can't. >> If they can't, this is like Toy Story then. They just ████ drop dead when we're around. >> It is. It is. You know what they do? This is what Nikki calls you to come open a jar right before you come down. She tightens it to make you feel stronger about yourself. >> You really think so? You think I'm a real ████ actually in real life? >> Big ████ dude. >> You think I'm a big ████ >> Yeah, absolutely. The only guy wearing no shoes and socks here is crazy. I give the feet away for the fans. >> Damn.
10:56 >> Steven >> look like that? >> Flintstone legs. >> They look like [laughter] Shrek. >> It's like you're running like the car thing. >> Those are Shrek feet, homie. >> Listen, it was half Steve Day. You guys are supposed to wear shorts. It's ████ up. You didn't wear any. >> Why is that ████ toe longer? >> What are you talking about? It's Isn't that the the gator or not gator? >> itself. >> Is it the gator or not gator? >> itself. >> I like the idea that that Nina can't do nothing when you're around and when you're gone she's ████ amazing. >> Dude, she is ████ superwoman. It's not even like normal. It's like, "How did you do that?" No, Nikki can move furniture with her legs cuz she has powerful legs. She's very low upper body strength. So, she like can use her legs and like leverage ████ if I'm not around. But then if I'm around, it's [cough] just >> Toy Story, dude. It's straight up Toy Story. >> they just ████ >> [laughter] >> Andy's coming. >> Yeah. >> Dude.
11:47 >> [laughter] >> Legit. >> That's true love, man. >> I love this ████ though. You know what I'm saying? Toy Story is sick. >> It's a fact. >> That's a funny ass look, dude. >> That's a good one. >> New bit. That's a new bit. >> bit.
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