0:05 Welcome back to another episode of Careful Boys. This thing is a little bit old in terms of like Tik Tok life. It's happened like two weeks ago, which is basically like eight years in our world. Um, >> but they're still talking about it. >> Still talking about it. And I personally wanted to hear what you guys think about this. So, this girl posted this video and caused a pretty sizable amount of discourse among like Asians. Uh, I would say the black community chimed in a good amount. >> It's called HMart Gate. >> It's called HMart Gate. But here's what she had to say. >> I really am a nice person, but I can't stop myself from giving snark to the white people at Asian grocery stores. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not sorry. I can't stop doing it. Like I just [snorts] side eye every time I see you there. What are you doing here? And like arguably I could be in the right if they're like, you know, taking up space
0:55 loudly in the way. But I do it even when they're not. I do it when I just see you down the aisle way picking out like your pre-made sushi. I'm over there like, >> and I know I'm wrong for it because like especially if it's a small mom and pop grocery store, which I just got back from. Like, go support them. Go support them. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just a ████ I'm just a ████ I'm a really nice girl, but I'm also a ████ And I saw this one girl who was in the grocery store. She was like down the way with like blonde hair and she's like looking at the packets or whatever. I give her this side eye. I'm looking at her. I see her giving me side eye. was like at me. I was like, I'm and I know I don't look super Asian, but I'm like, I'm literally supposed to be here. I'm buying the foods that I grew up eating right now. Um, and then she came closer and closer,
1:45 and I saw this moment as we're both side eyeing each other, where we both got closer and closer and closer, meeting in the middle of the aisle, and we both realized that the other person is Wean. We both realized that we're way. We both were like, >> they're both half. >> They're both half. >> And then we smiled and we walked away. >> [snorts] >> It was almost wasting wasting time. >> So people people are pretty much focused on mainly the first part about how she has that attitude toward which is I think it's very funny that she's self-aware and being really cool about it. But then like I think people are seeing it as you know that's kind of like a ████ up thing to do like treat >> and she's waging bro >> you like bonos. Okay dude you can get away with giving people side eye. So I think her intention was to like >> it was like a satire like she was trying to do thing but it opened up. It's not this that's the issue. It's the
2:36 conversation that >> it opened up this this I guess there was a pressure cooker going on. >> Imagine some rice about to ████ be done. >> Yeah. There's a there's like an animosity from people who feel like uh and they're and they're thinking very monolithically. They're going like, "Wow, okay. white people have made fun of Asian food being so gross for so long and now they're now they're in the supermarket buying the stuff or they're, you know, it's just it's a feeling of like they're like in getting into your community but then for so long historically have like kept it out. >> And then there's the other and then there's the other Asians that are just like what's the big ████ deal? Like it's now they're shopping like like what what like what do you want? Do you want a space that's like very inclusive and you don't want anybody else but ████ >> And they're saying what so you want to segregate? Is that what you want? Like [laughter] and then the and then the
3:27 >> Why wouldn't you want people to be into the food and be curious about the food? >> Um >> so I'm like the people that made fun of you isn't the person shopping. You're just you're just taking you're taking your second grade bully like angst out on this random new person. >> I think so too. I think that's usually the biggest case of these like angry Asian victims is they are holding on to the memory of their bully and then they're attaching that to innocent people. Like it's like it's not the entire white community that did this to you. It's like that one ████ jerk that did this to you, but instead of attaching it to that jerk, now it's 10 ████ white people at HMart you got to blame. And I also think you're a bad representation of the community you're a part of if you're thinking this way instead of the person that runs the
4:19 store wanting people to come. Like what happened to Chinatown when people stopped buying souvenirs and all these stores had to close because people didn't want to cross-cultural their their their items anymore and like I don't want to buy a Chinese shirt. I'm not allowed to. >> You think Chinese people are going to buy that ████ [laughter] Yeah. But then you just you just put all these Asian aunties stores out of business cuz white people don't want to buy the ████ straw hats and the Chinese dress no more >> or they don't feel like they're allowed to be there. >> Yeah. >> Because of they watch the Tik Toks and they go, "Oh, you know what? I want to be cultural s culturally sensitive. So, I don't want to buy the stuff in Chinatown anymore and then make a mockery of them because they see this ████ Asian actor >> or even like a decorative fan cuz cuz remember like the the the Dragon uh like the Dragon Alley area of Chinatown always had so many souvenirs, furniture, stuff for your house, like a ton of crap. Now it's like it's basically like
5:11 any other >> uh what do you call it? Like swap meat now. It's like just random crap. >> I'm always for trying to bring people into the culture. in a way, in an inviting way where it's like, yeah, yeah, try out the clothes, try out the food, like try it all, you know? And I don't I don't think it's like healthy as a community to approach things already with some type of like anger and there's a there's a level of frustration that comes with it first and foremost. And it's like they're not ████ with. >> Yeah. And I think you're not you're not the hero you think you are if after 50 years of black guys having kung fu classes and karate dojoos now you're born and you step up and go I don't like that. [laughter] Like you're not the hero you think you are. >> Whenever I'm in an Asian uh grocery store and I see non-Asians in there I'm
6:02 like okay tight >> props. Like >> the store would love that. >> And also too it's like to me I've always felt like food is the easiest way to embrace another person's culture, right? It's the easiest way. It's the way we could break bread. So, the fact that you get non-Asians, >> but it's also it's also the first thing that you hear referenced a lot of the time, which I hate. Like, let's say there's a video of like some black dude jump kicking an elderly grandma. You see in the comments, oh, they love our food, but they hate us. It's the dumbest lie and someone will always say it. >> You don't know if that guy likes Chinese food. You You can't. He's jump kicking old lady in the face. >> You're like combining all the people into one person. But that tells me how ████ dumb people are, right? It's like you don't have the ability to see the nuance that this white person is different from this white person or this black. It's like why is it that like you
6:53 can do it when it comes to your own people and you can see the nuance but you can't see it outside of your ingroup just because one person treated you a certain way like you would I think this is the best example like you everyone knows it's a no no to do that to black people right you can't be like you saw a black guy on news ████ robbing people so now you can't be like clenching your purse around black people because that's racist everyone knows that that's not what you're supposed to do right but then why is it that you can do that to whites, Asians, Mexicans, everybody else. Because you could be you could you could do that, but it's not taboo. >> Or to look at someone like they don't belong somewhere like that. Like to to be like you don't belong in this supermarket. Like who are you to ████ declare that? >> 2025 is crazy. Especially if you live in California or something. Like what are you doing? >> I usually try to help if I if it seems like they're lost. >> That's what a lot of people have also said. Yeah. There's this like a black
7:45 mom and her son and her son and she was like looking at the all the sesame oils. I was and then I could tell that she's like this. I don't know. And I was like I actually don't know anything about these but this is the one I grew up on. I like it. >> Oh thank you. She and she'll like grab. >> She's like I didn't ask you sir. [laughter] >> GET OUT OF MY FACE ████ [laughter] >> She runs out steals it with the haya. >> I saw this ON THE NEWS. POW. OH, >> SHE LIKE WHY DON'T YOU GO ALL mind your own ████ business. >> And in a lot of ways it got what I was saying about how it got the attention of the black community is some people have chimed in to be like now you know how it feels >> which is like a pretty interesting take to have I think >> how what feels like >> when you're Asian when you're in Asian shops white people encroaching on your culture and you feeling like what are you doing here? So there's like I think black tw or Tik Tok or Twitter they're
8:36 watching it go down and then they're getting informed like oh ████ so this is the inner workings cuz they're seeing the Asian like in infighting in discussion right so they're like oh I didn't know that like some of us some of them understood and some of them didn't right and then um they're having like the outside perspective now knowing that we don't all believe and think the same ████ because I think Asians are kind of like we stick to our own group, you know what I mean? Like we don't really venture out and people don't know what's happening inside. >> But then this experience, people are just scrolling through, they're like, "What the f███?" And then they're going down a deep dive and they're like, "Oh, what?" >> Yeah. >> Like the amount of people disagreeing with it. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> The cool thing is that she's not like she's making more of a joke than anything. How she's like it's not I'm
9:27 the ████ in the situation. Like I totally Yeah, I get that too. I don't think she's maliciously really trying to make people uncomfortable for being at the same supermarket. I don't think it's like literally that serious. >> But when I go to the Cardano's market, I don't want people shut up, bro. They got good butchers. They got they got a lot of >> next level. >> But imagine if some brown people are looking at you like, "Get out of here, you old ████ chenito." >> I think it's I think it's kind of American to like look at someone and be that way and feel that way. But I feel like in in the European culture, so much more inviting. I feel like people are willing to help strangers a lot more. Um, so I don't know. I just feel like that's very American thing. >> I I um I really got into cold meats, right? So I looked for like authentic Italian deli and I found one and when I went there it was so authentic. Like you could tell these people been shopping
10:17 there for generations. There's no newcomers. Everyone's like Italian or whatever. And they order quick at the deli. So there's a line and they know let me get a pushuto and I did and THEN THEY'RE LIKE YOU GOT IT BOY. AND I WAS LIKE, "F███, this is kind of scary, bro." Like >> intimidating, huh? >> Yeah. And then they the guy is tough. They like, "Hey, what you want?" You know, and then like And I was just like, "F███." >> Hey yo, let me get some yellow tail yellow tail on [laughter] >> you have gi. >> It was intimidating. And then I don't want to be stupid, right? And I was like, "All right, I don't know. I like salami, but I don't know." I goes, "Okay, what you like? All right, here." And then like you was helping me out. This little ████ grandma came to the side and I'm like, "I like the pepper kind." And she goes, "Oh, honey, you got to try this this." And then everyone just jumped in and they're like, "Try this, try this, try this." And I was like, "F███ yeah, dude. That's tight." And I And I was like, "That's a great
11:07 example of like I wish I could do that for other people when they like when I'm like, "Oh, check this out. You You're going to want the ████ eye of N right there. You want this rat tail. You want this chicken foot. It's ████ bomb." You know? >> Are you making a Is it from the cauldron? >> Yeah. [laughter] >> The witch's brew. It'll be like that when people are at a market and then and I I think like people should be excited that like, oh, they're interested. >> They're ████ interested. Like, okay, why do you want to be the ████ that's like that's not what you said in ████ high school when you're making fun of my sushi rolls, ████ >> Yeah. I I definitely think >> it's like, what the ████ is wrong with you? Maybe my opinion is more rigid, but I feel like you you live a certain amount of life and you reach a threshold where you understand that the win is in sharing your culture. And I think most people haven't, not most people, some people just haven't reached that. They just haven't lived enough life. They
11:58 haven't traveled enough. They haven't done enough. They haven't experienced enough from other cultures to understand that like, oh, it's a better result when we're in with this together. Like, we're in on it all at the same time. >> We're all one. And also, if it's a the person in high school who gave you ████ things change. I don't like a lot of things I didn't like in high school or vice versa. So, like, it's okay to have someone grow and and change their mind. Why wouldn't you invite that, >> right? >> I don't even like white people in the international aisle of Albertson's. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> And Albert up and down the international aisle. Like, get the ████ out of aisle 17. >> You're in the wrong aisle. Hostess is over there. You can't buy no bulldock. All right. >> No tapato for you. [laughter] But it definitely does sound like what you said, like you're taking something that you're imagining at a different time, a different place, a different person, and you weren't able to stand up to that at the time, and you'll carry that forever, and you're always going to feel like
12:48 that's the next guy. >> And also, I feel like the older you become, you should let go of a lot of ████ ████ >> Like, and you should always try to lead with love. So like as kumbaya as this sounds, it's just better for the world when you have a more optimistic view of like people entering your ████ spaces and you should be like, "Dope, you want to come down? Come on down." Versus like, "Oh, now you want to come down since ████ K-pop is hot. ████ you, b████." >> Why would like the fact that who's winning when everyone's that insufferable? Like >> they're ████ annoying, dude. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Imagine we we can't go to any of the other markets. >> Yeah, >> we have to stick to our own markets. That would suck ass. >> Imagine if I went to that Italian daddy. Oh, now you ████ ████ ████ want to come in. [laughter] >> I'm like, >> I JUST GOT HERE.
13:38 >> WE don't sell duck here. >> No, I'm here, [laughter] buddy. >> We don't have Wag you. >> We don't have Kobe. >> I'm like, what the ████ >> And then it's like I'm I don't even know what's happening, you know? Imagine if that ████ Italian grandma was like, "When I went to a Chinese restaurant, they were so unhelpful, so I'm going to be mean to you." And I'm all like, "What the f███?" >> I know. It doesn't make any freaking sense, dude. It's >> I'm not even Chinese. Yeah, >> I really do feel like that's the lowest IQ take is to be like, "Oh, now y'all want to do this?" It's like, who are you talking to? This person's just standing there. >> That means you got bullied and you're you're carrying that ████ ████ for how many years? Let it ████ go, dude. Clean slate with a new person. And it's not even the same human being >> and be a good example of your culture. Like that's the main thing is like you got if you got to pick that up on your shoulders for a second, do the right thing. Yeah.
14:28 >> Well, imagine if you walked into every Asian space and someone's side eyeing you. I mean, do you just curious? >> Well, they they're also building a new stereotype that Asians are annoying. >> Yeah, that is true. >> You know what I mean? Like if everybody's being like if everyone's acting like that >> to other races, other races will think all Asians act like that. >> And it's not fair. It's completely not fair. It's like then what's the point of like having to exercise friendliness and like togetherness and be cool? Like you you got to be a cool person really. Plus at the end of the day like when you look at what the community leaders are thinking and how they feel, I think that counts for more because they're also trying to do if you're just a person in the community and your stance is that ████ strong against other people. You're not really doing enough to offset that. Like what are you really doing for it then other than just saying no no gatekeep that gatekeep this? It's like you're not helpful.
15:18 >> It's not the way. >> No. >> Bonos, you got to start being nicer to whites. >> Sorry. [laughter]
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