0:00 [Music] and welcome back everybody to a special holiday episode of the careful boys where today our special guest is none other than German Chris Kringle Mr klouse himself hi Santa hey Santa hello you bad boys of JK news we got bad boys careful boys are very bad so today we are going to be talking talking about a very very holiday magical special concept what was one of your most favorite or memorable Christmases growing up there's so many there's just so many sorry it's rude they should go first let Bart go that's probably something sad honestly it is sad though cuz the
0:51 majority of my Christmas Christmases growing up is um so my parents are divorced right so I'm only with my mom my mom would get I her friends would give me gifts and then I would get a gift oh this is really cool I got this new Nerf gun my mom's oh you like it I'm like yeah go perfect this will be great when I give it to someone else someone else going to like really like it so I never had any presents I would just get presents during Christmas yeah and my mom would just use those presents to give to other kids what the ████ does she remember doing this I don't know I don't know that's incredibly sad so I never had I never really had presents did you hear the prompt the best Christmas no but she was telling me that that's probably sad I'm like yeah it's right cuz I have like it's his best Christmas 18 years I know I didn't show up so 18 years of that and then I okay
1:41 so my best Christmas then would be the day that me and Gio got together because that is our anniversary oh on Christmas how did you do it on Jesus birthday I don't think we planned it oh that's just like how it happened Jesus planned it yeah just it's just how it happened and that's when we revealed our love to each other and that was our anniversary okay christm is my favorite ████ time of the year dude how do you feel about Jesus do you not I think he's fake you to divorc parents homes do you still go to divorc parents home no they take care of the that's too confusing nobody knows what's from Santa it's it's I waste money there it's a loss oh what about you Nick hopefully L less sad no I'm trying to think of like
2:31 an really ideal like Christmas that was really tight I think it wasn't until my older years where it's like I don't know man Christmas day is kind of like I don't want to say not that tight but it's like I like the season of it all you know what I mean yeah and then Christmas day is cool damn dude you're really not going to get any presents Naughty Boy uhoh uh-oh get over here what the ████ are you saying about Christmas Day you piece of ████ what the ████ are you talking about I swear to God on my life if I wasn't Santa wasn't Chris ████ Creek lucky ████ I thought you were German now you turn Italian turn a mobster when Sant gets mad yeah ████ Italian comes out he
3:22 turns into a mobster what you say about I've been all over I've been all over for Christ sake he's Mr worldwide I've been all Mr Mr International he I'll say this when I started celebrating Christmas Eve with Tiff's family and then I do Christmas day with my family I feel like those are cool Christmases because you get a contrast of of it all it just lasts longer you know what I mean cool I don't know I love I love the Christmas last to long is not something Nick used to oh my God take it easy S turn as ready as your suit I just feel like those are cheap shots was last May ████ you dude I can't what what am I supposed to say to Santa dude yeah hey don't send this video to kids he says ████ you s Jesus Christ damn balls Jesus Christ I
4:16 don't even know if it's real I don't know we'll see maybe either he's got to come back I've been here he called you a lucky ████ that's so funny he's got to come back I've been here I've been here oh man I just got ████ I'm not jaded I'm not jaded about it it's fine I know all the comment is going to be oh you so jaded about it I'm not jaded about it I'm not Jed it's fine I've been here the whole time ████ people say I'm jaded I'm not ████ jaded about it damn I remember um it was like first grade or or maybe kind kindergart or or something when we realized that we've been told a lie so me and my buddy was like we we need to whistle oh ████ we needed to whistle blow so we were in class and during
5:06 Christmas everyone was like what do you guys want to ask for Santa and then me and my my my friend raised our hands and we said um teacher teacher Santa's not real he goes yes Santa's not real it's not real and then then they're like Joseph and Rayman settle down come over here right now and we had to go talk to them in the hallway they're like you know Santa is real and they were just ████ ████ and I'm like it's not real oh no you know who's real Jesus is real prove it ████ and I was taught not to lie that's that's going to be Steve show me the proof but you know what even after I knew that Santa wasn't real I played to my parents as if he was real so I could have double presence one from Santa and one from my parents nice have you guys ever had um a relative tell you
5:57 that Santa wasn't real yeah like an uncle for sure just that you know that one uncle in the family yeah yeah I think I don't remember this but my my family tells me my aunt told me Santa wasn't real but I remember growing up I always felt like I had like a healthy s Santa's real thirsty right now s's got to get through this hour dude some hot coco characterize it I just always feel like a healthy uh skepticism about Santa growing up but I can't I don't know if it's because like that's what was in my heart or because my aunt told me that like Santa's not real ████ I feel like I I don't even um I never even thought he was real I just remember my parents like I was like s is not real huh and then I remember my mom saying something like no but it's nice [Laughter]
6:52 huh you know what though when when I when I fully bought into it though I would say that was my favorite time that was my favorite time because like when you you're just like anticipating it and then I remember there was this one time when at night I was trying to stay up and my dad was like all right you got to go to sleep now and I'm like all right I got the whole milk and cookies thing um I was like oh wait the fireplace the fireplace is still going so I went to the kitchen got a big old thing of water and I ████ dumped it and then that ████ went ████ all over the place my dad was like what the ████ are you doing you know and I was like but but if it's if it's if it's hot then Santa can't come down he's going to burn my God so those ashes and water all over the ████ fireplace and ████ yeah and he was so mad I didn't get
7:44 my ass beat though cuz I think there were just like all right something so innocent about that Christmas I'll let this dumb ████ slide dude he's going to he's Saving Santa Claus sleep like oh ████ man if I didn't take it out though sad was going to burn his butt you know and then the next morning um I was ████ pissed because I left some cookies out and I had this snowman cookie that I wanted for myself and he bit the Snowman he ate my cookie I gave I left out for him I left out a pack of cookies right and for some reason I thought if Santa could read my mind he'll know that this is my cookie that I'm going to eat and this is your cookie that you're going to eat that's true cuz he knows know that ████ s it's not know for telepathy you stupid ████ you think how do you think Santa could read your mind because they know what you want for Christmas he knows what you
8:34 want knows if you're not you write him letters write him a letter well that's why I ████ up cuz then I had a snowman cookie and I had the other cookie and I was like what the ████ he ate the snowman cookie what the ████ I was saving that you thought he could read your mind got a mind reader but that's when it started to open up I don't like snowman I like to bite the ████ head off yeah the snowman cookie was ████ eating and I was like oh is it because of the lyrics he knows when you're sleepy he knows when you're awake he knows everything I think he's just looking at you well I confuse Jesus and Santa a lot I I don't think he just knows with his M I think I yeah I confused Jesus and Santa yeah Jesus has telepathy we leave out a whole stock of celery for the reindeer oh really so they'll eat it yeah so like after like ta goes to sleep we like Bunch up the celery and then we throw it on the ground as if like a ████ reindeer came and bit it and then like smashed it
9:24 and we take a bite of the cookie and we drink some of the milk did he believe it yeah he believes it he's like oh the reindeers came in too y got to be paying him heavy for the Tooth Fairy then too cuz you're ████ up his imagination right now oh he hasn't have any lost teeth yet too too young but we got to I dude now y'all better pay him at least $2 bills is a ████ any that Sansa is not real through you or would you prefer he just learn it throughout the like going through the world he's a pretty smart kid so I think he's going to learn it pretty quickly just on his own cuz even right now like we do Elf on the Shelf uhhuh he's like are you guys just staying up and then moving it and they're like no of course not how does Elf on the Shelf work what do you do this corporate just ████ up on the Shelf I think it's supposed to it's like it's like the old school way of like having the kids
10:15 behave so like saying like Okay the elf is watching all day long and every day they move like a certain place and if they watch they really good for the whole month then they're going to like report to Santa and then you'll get even more gifts you're not supposed to touch them so every night we move elf you know different places you know the the when I realized how ████ broke I was is I went to my neighbor's house and um they did like a Christmas like opening thing right so him and his little brother uh the parents had some like presents on the tree they were able to open up and then I had my toy and then um then they're like oh look around the house I think Santa left you more stuff they're like what and I I sh you not they had like eight presents together just all over the house and I was like I only get one thing well two
11:07 cuz my parents and then Santa and I'm like where the how the ████ did you get eight from Santa and then this and I was like they got ████ so much ████ I was like dude that's crazy like other families like they they give so many things to their kids yeah that's like taica and his cousins they Christmas day to open it together I'm like what the ████ there's more more toys here than I ever had my whole life do they get more than one present each one gets like four five six like from aunties and uncles you know but that's how it is though as kids people give gifts and then as adults you don't get ████ well it's cuz it's so cheap all you guys want is electronics when you're a kid you just want some s█████ ████ made out of plastic from ████ China when you're an adult you want a ████ printer Santa's elves are actually Chinese children scanner combo printer
11:59 oh there was um this is like the early early nights think 1991 I remember there was a Christmas coming up and uh I don't know if you guys remember there would be these Lego cataloges that you could get and you could see all the Lego sets that were like for sale yeah get it from the toy store and then I would um like my dad and mom would always ask me like which ones do I like and then for Christmas they're like oh Circle the one that you want but then like they ████ up my mind pretty pretty hard with how how money worked so like my dad would just always tell me the that all the money he had at all times was in his wallet so we would go to Target and I'd be like oh I like this Lego thing he would go oh looks like I only have $40 like and I would be like oh that's that's the last $40 that we have so yeah don't worry about buy you don't know about the bank you just think yeah I didn't know nothing about the bank so then I would like have a realistic mind of money so I would look at what all the
12:49 ones cost and I'd be like oh dude there's no way they're going to be able to buy me this one but I would Circle it anyways just like as a wish list I would Circle all these different sets but then I would I remember there was one there was a monreal set and I think it was like almost almost 200 bucks oh it's like one of the big ones yeah it's it was like something like maybe like 149 or something like that but then I was like that's the most one I ever seen 149 like that's crazy and you cired it and I cirle it just for fun I'm like there's no way they'll get me that but then I I nor I circled all the normal stuff like the little guy with the house and like little stuff and then um like a week before Christmas I was like messing around under the bed of my parents room and I found the box and they bought the monreal oh ████ you like oh my God I start hyperventilating dude that's when you got the asthma attack I was like did you want to play with it already no no no they gave it to Bart
13:40 and the Bart's mom gave it away no I like I like ran to my sister and I and I told my sister I was like I was going to cry dude and then I IIT did you no I we waited till Christmas and then obviously I knew that it was in that box after they had wrapped it and put on the tree and then when I opened it it still felt like I was getting for the first time but then I think then my sister was like he already knew oh freaking rat was still sweet man and then for like years that that Montreal set like my parents had bought me so many Legos I had like one of those almost very similar to like what the dude had in The Lego Movie like a city with like all the road plates you mean what will frell had you had a whole ass so in the living room like I had bought so many Ro uh Road plates from KB Toys that like there was such a complete City and like I got the airport I had the police station all this ████ and the monre connected everything together and
14:31 it like ran on its own dude that's so dope and we didn't get rid of it until I was like maybe 11 or 12 when by the time our dog got too big he started he started trampling through it and we didn't want him to trip so we took it all apart and then I think it's still in the garage of my parents house wow bring it here put it on the wall that sick actually it's worth a lot of money today that's a that's a hardcore colle the ████ pirate ship yes that's what I want that's the one I wanted the big ones we couldn't even make we couldn't make it the elves kept on messing up we couldn't do we couldn't never figure it out cuz the sail part there's no Lego part of the sale the sale we couldn't figure it out yeah it was just a black like stiff cloth cloth or something how the hell does it connect we could never get connect no but the ship sets were really cool I remember when um the the
15:22 Christmas ████ was like a whole thing of like you wake up and every single day it's December and then there's some chist CH thing that you do like you watch a movie or like you go to the mall and then you see like all the Christmas ████ and then at the D mall they had so many like different decorations they had a whole row of like the different Santas of Europe and then there was like yeah there was like the the different Santa and one was like called black Peter and that one was like the evil Santa and if we wore like that is that from like Amsterdam or like Dutch I don't know I think I know what you're talking about KCK my ████ ass stole my shoes stole my wallet black beer man right it's like and then they would show different Santas and then my parents would be like all right you see that one that Santa is the kidnapper oh my goodness making up bios for them
16:13 they're like that's the Bad Santa and then they're like so all of these other Santa checks out you know that's how they get the toys everywhere because like I mean I couldn't read back then but later I found out it was just a display of different Santa folklor and cultural yeah and he goes but that one that's black Peter and he's going to get you and he's going to kidnap you if you're a bad boy and I was like okay and then they would always scare me I'm like oh ████ black Peter something I want to clear up right now is that Jack fros is actually cool he's dope dude yeah I'm like red Santa red Santa red Sant oh black Peter I don't know about him you know what's the story about black Peter what's his deal he just has a stick up his ████ ass you know one of those guys real entitled guy oh right yeah so it's more black like in his attitude and and oh yeah it's very cold it's cik okay very cold like it's covered in Coal actually
17:04 it's not a literal thing no it was a it was a white Santa with a black cloak and I was sitting there with my orange julius about to ████ piss my pants when my parents told me the story it's like if Gandalf had a black cat on yeah basically yeah it's got nothing to do with race you black race yeah got nothing to do with race people always think it's race he's just a mean guy I have a distinct memory of my uncle he he owned toys and joys in Hawaii when when I was a kid and uh there was the ████ the year that the Razor scooter was coming out oh I remember just hellani but same thing like I I would my dad would my parents would never get me toys like if I got anything I I would always get it from my uncle or Auntie or something like that uh and the thing was super popular but it hadn't really come out yet but it was just starting to like roll out and I
17:54 remember when my uncle comes to visits um they sleep in my room him and in my my auntie sleep in my room so I have to sleep downstairs with like my cousins and stuff like that even on the pull-out couch or literally on the floor I remember this particular Christmas cuz all the kids came over I ended up sleeping on the floor cuz I'm the youngest in the family and I sleeping on the floor and when I wake up in the morning the ████ Razor scooter boxes right there so I opened my eyes and I remember as a kid just being mind blown so heavy and I was the first kid my on the Block that had that scooter and it was just like the sickest feeling in the world how did they know you wanted that cuz I was talking about it all goddamn day you know what I mean and like wishing but you know you're not going to get it like my parents would give me jack ████ that was cool every ████ toy I had as a kid if it wasn't like Le more than if it was more than $12 I got it from somewhere else you know what I'm saying it's just like a piece of Machinery from the
18:44 laundry bunch of hangers oh like another hanger to my collection this one's got foam on it so my stuff won't S let you hang on the thing for 5 minutes so Santa um since since you're always the one giving and no one really thinks about you I thought maybe uh it would be appropriate to give Santa this little gift right here what the ████ for Christmas and I know how much you love dance so what the fu Merry Christmas what the ████ is this put on your phone right now Santa I'm speechless it's so moving I'm so emotionally touched by this thank you thank you Joe jitsukawa thank you yeah
19:34 it's for me saying you know that Santa is not real you never had a gift thank you so much Merry Christmas Bart Merry Christmas Bart oh my [Music] God
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