0:00 People are down to have kids with people, but they're like, "But marriage? I got Let me Y'all let me think about that." I'm like, "That's That's so like backwards to me." >> "I'd rather be a single parent than be with you, but you could ████ in me." Yeah. Like, what the ████ Welcome back to another episode of the Careful Boys. We're talking about Big Sean and Jhené Aiko. I like Big Sean. >> They're together? I like them both. Yeah. They're together? >> they're breaking up now. >> Yeah, they they broke up. They were They've been together for 10 years. They They had a 3-year-old kid, never got married, and the biggest thing that everybody's talking about online is that is commitment issues, right? They had a son, I think a son. >> If you're together 10 years and you
0:50 haven't gotten married, you're not getting married. Nope. They had a kid 3 years ago, and then apparently since then she like has very explicitly expressed that she wants to tie the knot, get married, and then now 3 years has passed. It's been 10 years in the relationship. He can't seem to commit to it. She wants to move on. They broke up. Big big whole music scene love story because people like them together. People like the them separately as individuals. It's good story, but I think this kind of just touches upon the idea of what you're talking about. If you think that somebody's been together for 10 years and you're not getting hooked up, like what What are you doing? You know what's one thing that uh ████ blows my brains is I don't understand this concept that I've only heard in like this newer generation, where people are down to have kids with people, but they're like, "But marriage?
1:40 I got Let me Y'all let me think about that." I'm like, "That's That's so like backwards to me." >> like, "I'd rather be a single parent than be with you, but you could ████ in me." Yeah. Like, what the ████ What if you have on some celebrity style stuff, like you have either brand imaging or like you're >> regular people. >> Or you're like a business person though, even like a like there's assets and all this other ████ >> regular people. >> I could I could understand the welfare game because I have friends that did that, where if you are not married on paper, and let's say you have a boyfriend or whatever, you you get way more money. Once you get married, okay, well, now you have a dual income, now he has to pay all this stuff, you get less money. Cuz I'm talking about people that I know just are like peers in our space. I've seen maybe five to 10
2:31 that are like [clears throat] that, that I'm like, "Oh, ████ you guys are so happy that you guys didn't have a kid together." And then when people ask them, "Why don't you guys get married?" "Oh, I don't know. We're not ready for >> And the kid wasn't like circumstantial? >> ready? Yeah, and they're the clan to have a kid. >> it? They planned it? >> They were trying to have children. >> Yeah, they're like, "Oh, we should have a kid." >> Were they previously married? Do they have >> No. kids before? >> No. So, it's their first Yeah. It's Yeah, that's why it's really like mind-blowing. I'm like, >> high W-2 earners? I don't know. I don't know if they're like like like millions, like celebrity style. No, high W-2 earners, even if you're making, let's just say a quarter million, both you and your your partner. Yeah. If you officially get married, you're getting taxed way more. Really? I thought you'd get less. You get less taxed. >> Nah. If you're a high W-2 earner, you're getting taxed Cuz cuz dual? Yeah. I see. >> Not 1099. Yeah. You're paying more. Uh I
3:22 don't know. Okay. But I don't even know if they're thinking that deeply, either. I do cuz there are tax credits for marriage. >> Yeah. But you guys But you guys Do you guys see this stuff or no? >> I mean, I know people that don't that both don't believe in marriage. And they had a kid. Yeah. Right? Like I just see But they But they But they're not saying they're not ready. They both just don't believe in the idea of it. What is the idea of it that prevents them Cuz isn't marriage I guess for me it's like kind of like swearing to be this person's partner. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, they're like, "I'm down to create a forever being, but our relationship >> I think it's like I think it's related to like let's say that you're supposed to admit something under oath. Yeah. >> But if you're down to tell the truth anyway, then you go, "I don't need to do the oath." It's that. It's like They don't want the legal framework. >> Yeah, they already know what they're doing. They think it's cool. And then if anything, sometimes people believe
4:12 marriage will complicate the relationship, I guess. Or like now it maybe makes it harder to stay together because now there's something holding you to it. >> I see. I don't know. >> Dude, you sound like you're kind of down for this one. No, I know. I like marriage. >> You're not going to get married, dude? >> No, I am, but I am. But I don't I I have friends like, you know, like like like Redfoo. He doesn't Him and his girl are not married. They have They have two kids. Oh. And he just His dad never got married. Berry Gordy never got married. And he's got freaking 18 kids or some ████ Do you feel like in a situation cuz you know, like we see with um uh like NBA players all the time type stuff, right? Like you have a kid, and then now through marriage or anything like that, you're entitled to pay a certain amount in in a divorce. And do you feel like when you see all all these other people in your circle going through hardships, that might turn
5:03 you off to the idea of like those legally binding things that might put you in a position I mean, you want to believe in love and in the person >> playing scared though. You can't play the game scared. >> It's not like the people that usually think this way are not whitebread-looking folks. They're usually alt people in general. So, that's Marriage is not the only thing that they look at that way. You know, like everything they look at is kind of against the grain. You know what I mean? Their whole lifestyle revolves around >> They're like alpha in the >> exactly. Yeah. They're just different in lots of different ways, yeah. Cuz Hannah said that it was less common in the UK to actually get married. So, there's more of the cohabiting, you do have a kid, or you just have multiple baby daddies and ████ >> Well, it's less common everywhere right now statistically to get >> Yeah, but she's like America still has uh [clears throat] the whole idea of people getting married. >> Yeah. For sure. Well, like blue-collar
5:54 towns in the UK, they're more traditional, right? So, like guys would go to work from, you know, high school, they'll do labor jobs, and then they'll get a girl pregnant as a teenager, get married. Well, that's almost related directly to liberal conservative then. Yeah, cuz in the art world she was saying like all of her friends in entertainment not married, but they might have a kid with someone. Yeah. Yeah. Most conservatives just like follow the track, get married early. Yeah. Christians get married really quickly. >> Military, Christians, yeah, they all get married hella quick. >> I think it's a lifestyle thing. Yeah. Do you feel in this particular situation uh you more so understand where like she's coming from? Where is she coming from? 10 years in, has a 3-year-old kid, I want to be married. Uh you don't necessarily want to get married right now, so I better break this off. Cuz she broke it off. >> it off. >> Mhm. I don't I don't know. It's like
6:45 you've already been together 10 years and you have a kid. It's like if you wanted that, why didn't you do all that before? >> I think it's just like she finally just came down to it where like, "I'm putting my foot down." This is it. Yeah, the ultimatum. You're like, "That's it, hey." Cuz I'm like, "What does that change?" >> That's our boy. That's our dog, Nick Nick Kroll. Shout out Nick Kroll. Uh no, but my buddy, right? My Mike went through this where he he was with his chick for 10 years, and then he proposed, which was insane. I remember him being at my wedding and him me being like, "He's my best man." And I'm like, "You ever going to get married, b████?" And ████ like that, cuz it's just like But they were totally in love. Like there was never even a concern about it. He just hadn't gotten around to it cuz he had other priorities. She's like, "We'll get around to it. You're definitely a lock for me, but like we'll get there." But that's like the only example I can think of. Otherwise, most people, if you're like in a 10-year relationship and they
7:35 haven't committed yet, I think you're toast, like genuinely. >> Well, that one it's like, "I'm going to get to it." That's different from, "I'm still seeing where this goes." >> Yeah, true. Where it seems like in that situation it's like 10 years, you have a kid, you're practically ████ married, and then he's going, "I'm having doubts." It's like, "What the f███?" And then so she It makes sense, I think, in her part where she's like, "Well, what the hell? It's like we're pretty much married, we might as well just get married." And then he's like, "I'm still on the fence." And I'm like, "What are you waiting But I do remember in the first like 3 years of me knowing him, which was very early into their relationship as well, he was very anti-marriage. Like he didn't get it yet. And he His parents were married and stuff like that, but he just wasn't like on board yet. But he slowly progressed to the point where he got there, so. >> what's a pretty good comparison to help you wrap your mind around the idea of like, "Eh, marriage, whatever." The fact neither of you guys proposed. Oh, yeah. Like that's pretty a good like
8:26 Like when you think of proposals in traditionally how it's done. You know what I mean? The way that you guys went about it is very different from the norm. Cool. Me Me and Joe >> guys, yeah. >> Actually, I don't think I would have been married, but I'm glad that I did. In my It's like it wasn't till after I got married that I realized the benefits of it. But before, it wasn't that I didn't want to, but like because of the whole timing thing of like it's not an intentional thing. And I've never been in a relationship to where it was like sat down and discussed. It's funny how much the family opens up to you once you're married. Like Yeah, cuz you become family. >> Yeah, cuz cuz otherwise you're a boyfriend and it's kind of hokey. And if you're in your If you're like And I we were late 20s when we got married, but still it's like if you're in your 30s even, I think, and you're boyfriend-girlfriend, it's a little hokey to most people cuz most people just call each other either fiancés or
9:16 husband and wife by then. So, like I think that really like the bond with the family immediately like got concrete poured over it. >> Yeah. Cuz I think Yeah, cuz to the family, if you guys aren't married yet, it's like the person in college going, "Uh I'm a undeclared major." >> Yeah, I don't know what I want to study. >> you're ████ around still. But once you guys are "Oh, we're going to get married or fiancé" whatever, like, "Oh, okay, this guy knows what the hell Or there's like a risk you might just pull out of the whole thing, yeah. But even for me though, I didn't propose, but I know that I'm ████ up. >> [laughter] >> You know what I mean? Like I know I'm the person at the steakhouse going, "Do you guys have any vegetarian options?" Versus I go And and I know it's up to me to get myself on board to go with like what the main uh brain traces are. And then but I think there are people that are the other way around where they go, I wonder why other people don't
10:06 think the way I do. Yeah. I yeah I know I was the weird one. How long did it take you to propose? How many years? Uh two years. Yeah I know and I knew the whole time there. >> you? Uh eight years. But you knew like that you guys were going to get married it's just the That's like that's that's like exactly where I'm at right now. I I didn't know for At what point were you like, I'm going to do it? Like year seven. Damn that's a long time. >> Okay so basically for my story with Nina which she totally knows this is that when we first started dating we went on one date in 2014 and then I went to China for like three weeks. And even then I was like, I don't know if that one's going to last. Yeah, but that's a realistic >> But then we just kept on talking and then from that moment, I mean cuz that that era for me is like we went into ABDC, went into NBC, we were A lot of happening yeah. So much was happening I
10:57 was traveling so much that I spent more time on the road than I did at home. So like anytime we almost were about to get into a fight, we would stop cuz I'd be gone. And then distance makes the heart grow fonder and you're good. Anytime we were like building momentum, I'd be gone. So nothing could evolve too quick and it just put me in this weird state of just like uh this is a long standing cool cool time we're dating. But like there's there's a lot that needs to be uncovered but I'm not long I'm not at home long enough to like find out. >> said that wasn't it like by year three she had discovered you weren't perfect? Yes. Yeah yeah. >> Yes. >> [laughter] >> Editor at that edit that out. Subtitles please. It was the pandemic that happened and we were living together in Arts District in this small downtown little apartment and then for over three months we couldn't leave. And
11:49 I took I knew in my mind then I was like, oh ████ this is the make or break. Cuz I'm either going to like know for a fact that like we're good or we're going to run into some ████ where I'm like okay this yeah. I or or I'm too annoying to her. I I have no idea. Cuz we just literally at at that time we had barely spent like a month or two together at most. So this one is just like everyday you can't leave. possibly happen if you've been with a chick for six years by then right? Six? But like seven years seven and a half years by then. >> We have a like she wakes up every morning she's like and she's like, I'm going to be a farty girl today. Or like what could possibly Dude that would end that would end Geo though. >> [laughter] >> I just saw her party. If she did it. Or like, oh this is a test for me to be like, I'm for and I didn't walk into be like, this is like a test. I was just like, oh like this might make or break. I was like, we'll see. And then actually
12:39 staying with her every single day for months and then I was like, ████ I could do this. >> Nice okay yeah. Yeah yeah. >> Yeah that's cool. But I mean I mean for some people I'm sure it just takes time you know. Also with Nina with ████ for four years or whatever three years and never wanted to get married so I get it. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. >> Like it didn't even cross my mind. >> Myself and like I was in like a four year relationship where I was like, I want to marry this chick. Everything didn't work out. So after that I was like stop listening to what I think and just like know. Just like know in my heart. >> there's people now been with each other 13 years and breaking up. Yeah. That's the crazy part. >> Wow. But I remember thinking like of marriage with you know girls that I dated in the past and then it'll be like, oh I think I got to work on it just a little bit more. And it was always this feeling of like something's incomplete. But then with Hannah it was
13:30 just like, oh no it's easy. Like there was a it was just like no doubt. Like she completes you? >> Oh yeah. But it could be that too. Maybe people are just in these relationships and they're settling or they're not >> It's a mismatch. Yeah something about it is like, ah maybe but then they they also can't completely leave. Yeah. So it could be one of those things too. I do think the when you know you know thing is a real thing. It is yeah. Yeah but there's a lot of people that knew when they knew and got divorced. >> [laughter] >> Like my buddies my buddy Mike and my dad had talked me out of proposing to Nikki. Like Talked you out of it? >> Yeah for cuz in the first 10 months I was like, I'm ████ in. I I was like Well they probably thought you were just infatuated. Yeah exactly. >> that's just friends looking out for each other. >> No no and I don't I don't and I I appreciate them. I'm just saying like I was like riding already there. Whereas like I just said I was in a relationship
14:21 previously for like years and I was not really there. So it's just crazy how that can happen. Yeah. Yeah and then Hannah's parents were cool with it cuz they proposed like three months after dating. Damn. So like they're they're hella quick. That's tight. Yeah. Yeah it's nice to be right about it. >> [laughter] >> For now. Like that. Vain quotes. Till she wakes up a farty little girl. >> I'm a farty little princess today. Oh Jesus.
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