0:00 Today we're we're actually going to do you guys a benefit. Most of us in this room are 40 and we've done pretty good with chicks. We have beat it up a lot in life and we that's like say, "Yo, man, I ████ 10,000 times with one woman." >> Yeah, exactly. We're the Wilt Chamberlain of ████ the same chick like over and over and over for years. So, check this out. This ████ was just spotted uh during some kind of game. I don't even care what game it is. How would we approach her? >> Hey, isn't everyone doing this ████ now when they're like in the stad? Okay, >> the stadium thing. >> Yeah. Yeah. Okay. [snorts] >> What's the stadium thing? >> But they're using like AI and ████ >> I don't even care if it's AI. >> King AI 3.0 in the corner.
0:50 So, the we're in the stands and we see a girl like this right next to her. How would we approach her >> to help the boys cuz we know some of you guys I mean dating apps are collapsing right now. >> Well, look at the guy next to her. He's He's HE CAN'T STAND IT. Look at his face. So, the guy next to her is the guy we're helping. He has an earpiece. We're off to somewhere else. How do we help the homie? Yep. Yep. Yep. >> And we haven't have HD cameras. >> Why is she there alone? That's my question. >> I mean, yeah. Where's your man? That's what I say. I go, "Where's your man? Where's your ████ man?" >> You you make friends with her man and then you steal her. [laughter] >> What I would say is um do you happen to have a stack of cash in your pocket? Like bunch of $100 bills like a nice roll and like when you pass her when you're close to her, just drop all that money and then [laughter] and then you
1:41 go >> and oh ████ >> Oops. >> And then you look backwards like that [laughter] so she can see your ass. >> It's on my bricks of cash. >> Yeah. And then first of all, if you do what Joe did, >> she's going to be like, "Oh my god, this guy's a little fruity, >> but he's funny, but he got dope." >> But but she also likes your ass. >> Yeah. And he just thought it was funny. >> He's like, "That ████ got a badunk >> trunk." >> Yep. >> If I were to piggy back on what Subin said, >> I would say take like buy four to five Rolexes, >> but fake ones. Yeah. But they're expensive, so buy the fake one. >> Can you buy a half one? >> No. No. Buy buy some fake ones. >> Yeah. >> Buy like five of them and then you put them on your leg and then you go, "Do you want to know what time it is?" And you pull up your pants and they see all five rolling.
2:31 >> That's baller. >> But you also fake ones. You see the watch around my dick. [laughter] >> You have to have a AP here. >> Yeah. >> And a ████ like >> What's the big one? That that's another one. But she's not going to write the Richard Milk. >> Richard Milk. >> So you have two watches and she goes, "What time?" And then you go, "Oh, >> we're in this time zone." So you got to pull out your five watches. >> Says like, "London, Tokyo. >> London, Tokyo." >> Like you know, like Yeah. >> And then you're like, you're like, >> "I'm sorry. I'm gay." [laughter] >> Gay. I'm sorry. I don't know how to do this. >> It's just I'm Clockman. >> Yeah. [laughter] We're in Phoenix right now. >> All right. >> And then you go, "Okay, >> you've discovered my identity. I'm clock boy."
3:21 >> Have you guys had a moment where you're like, "I ████ crushed with that chick like like in the approach and the execution." I [clears throat] mean, Anthony, we don't need to do like an hour podcast. Can you just give us a brief? You know what I mean? Like, can you just like keep it tight? >> We don't need like 15 examples. We're cool with one. >> We don't need to do a series on this. We just need to get in and out. >> Yeah. We just [clears throat] need like a one or two dunks, not the full Jordan highlight reel. And we don't need it from every country you've been to. Just like locally, >> we don't need an audio book. We just need you to like >> I don't dunk, dude. I don't dunk. That's That's I don't dunk out there. You know >> dunk out there? >> No, >> I just warm up. >> You shoot corner threes, my brother. >> I don't even shoot, man. I just warm up. >> You don't even shoot. >> Just start stretching. >> Just keep it slow. >> Coming up to you, they come to you. >> You know, we might just be accidentally warming up in the same spot, that's all.
4:11 >> All right. >> I don't dunk, man. You know, straight up. >> What's a moment, though? Give Give us just one moment. Not a movie, please. >> Um, dude, I used to Okay, it's a feeling. It's not a feel. It's a feeling because I don't know if I'm actually dunking at all, but there was definitely an era where I knew in my bag, this this is when I was like still on like my college dance team. So, we would always have college performances um or or like performances at clubs. So, you know, that that was like our fundraising way to do ████ So we just always all year, no matter what whatever competition, we just always have these performances at clubs. So we're just always at the club, which means I was just getting really really comfortable with my like club game. Uh just like getting down and like almost letting the letting the like nonchalants and not caring about trying to like score on any ladies be the game
5:03 >> in and of itself. you know, rolling up to the bar slightly sweaty because you've been dancing yourself and getting a drink for yourself, not next to the girl, you know, like and just playing this like, "No, I'm gonna get down." And then if she is interested, just getting down and that being enough, that's like you don't have to say >> when you say getting down. What the ████ My club game is like is like, "Oh, ████ I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I spilled on you." >> Yeah. Like that only works once because then now your shirt's wet. If like the first girl didn't take like this guy spills a lot. >> [laughter] >> I can see his big nipples. I >> You know what my club game would be? It would be like, "Ah, ████ My Parkinson is getting out of control." And then that would spark up the conversation and that would lie. I made I made up my Parkinson. I don't have Parkinson. >> You know, there's a lot >> It's going to work for somebody. It's It's going to work for somebody. >> There's a lot of openers that you can't use like now like like one of them was
5:55 um when I went to a club like I didn't drink, right? So, I would never like offer drinks, but my thing was um asking for a lighter. So, I would like I'd have a lighter obviously, but then or like buming a smoke cuz it'll be guys and girls in the back and then it's like, "Oh, she's kind of cute." And she's like, "Oh, she's going to the back." And almost everybody ████ smokes cigarettes back then, right? So, you could just be like, "Hey, you kind of light." And then you can start a combo like, "Oh, I" And then everyone does this. This was the most corniest ████ >> Haven't I seen you before? Like, wait, like, who do you know? Right? Mhm. >> And then like if in most cases you will be like a couple degree separation because the parties we went to were like like Asian clubs and everyone kind of knew each other >> or find a mutual high school or something. >> Yeah. But you're bullshitting cuz you never met this person. But if they like you back, they're trying to find a common ground and just have
6:45 conversation. You knew if they don't ████ want anything to do with you, like they'll just kind of be like, "All right." And then they'll go turn around, talk to their friends and ████ But in most cases, like things like that, asking what time it is, which is ████ lame, but like that actually would work. Like you had be at the mall as a teenager. That's like, "Hey girls, you got the time and s███." It's like so stupid, right? >> You just [clears throat] got to get your foot through the door somehow. >> Trying to get Yeah. >> But the openers were like casual enough to where you could get rejected or like you could kind of sense the vibe. >> But like how do you do that now? Like people people all have w like clocks. Like people don't like >> as you're saying all this, Anthony looks like Morpheus in the Matrix and and he and he's like, "You think that's air you're breathing now?" [laughter] >> That's him listening to you do pickup lines. He's like, "This ████ guy." Welcome to the real world, brother.
7:35 >> Mine has to be humor based cuz I'm not smooth like Anthony. Like if I had those sunglasses on, I would have to be like this, like all crosseyed, and they go, "Hey, can you help me find my keys?" >> [laughter] >> It would have to be something so stupid that if she brushes me off, I'm like, "F███, I felt ████." But at least I had fun. >> I I have fun with myself. >> That's the only game that you could play. People have to just play their own ████ >> Their own game >> cuz then cuz then even if they score not playing their game, now they're ████ caught in the lie. And it's like, how long? Yeah. >> Feel icky if you try to be someone else and it doesn't work. >> But if you're at least yourself and it didn't work, you're like, >> "F███ it. I was me, dude." One of my good buddies, his name is Josh uh Dtown. He used to be with um Miranda Sings. He pulled her by doing cool boy ████ Well, first he he pulled her by being himself.
8:26 So like he he him and her were talking online and ████ like that and they got like close that way. And then he said they went to meet for the first time and they like flyed out and like went to this neutral spot and then he said he started like doing cool boy ████ He started be like Yeah. Yeah. So like what's up and like all that gay ████ >> like lip biting and like >> lip biting like like talking like a ████ member of Insync like hey like what's going on girl? ████ like that. And he's like and he's like and it dried her ████ the ████ up. [laughter] >> You know what I mean? Like instantly. And he's like I had to adjust >> on the fly. >> Get back to who I am because she was not vibing. like he thought like, "Oh, ████ Let me like because I really like her, so I really want to work it, but please just be yourself out there, please." >> Yeah. >> Holy God. >> Yeah. But most people I wouldn't say
9:17 that cuz mo most people have bad social skills and they suck being themselves. >> Like [snorts] their themselves is annoying. It's ████ horrible. They don't know. They have no game. So I'm like, you need to develop good social skills. >> Yeah. Develop good social skills, but make it you still. Cuz if you do this ████ that an impression of somebody, you're not going to make it for long. And then there's also the fact that like let's say you have a good line or flow or whatever like you did a good job on any account like you just did a good job. What would work one day on one chick will not work the next day on a different chick. >> That's why asking for a lighter. >> It's like eating >> you can't fail. >> It's like eating ████ the same way. You can't do it the same way to every chick and think that you're the bomb. >> You have to adjust in the moment. Dude, >> it's like we all know that. But to hear it from your mouth so hot, dude.
10:07 >> Some men will say that's gay. >> What are you doing eating that cooch? Are you gay? >> Wait, really? >> Yep. >> Then I'm gay as ████ [laughter] >> They're like, do you know that it's gay? >> The giving oral chicks is gay. >> Only my penis has been there for over a decade, so I feel like I'm solid. >> Like, why would you suck something that has >> I'm sucking myself all day. >> Oh my god. >> What do you What do you think, Subie? How do you pull How do you pull this absolute ████ missile. >> She has a tattoo. >> She does. >> Now, up there, >> tattoos is like a cigarette concept. It's a conversation. It's just a conversation. Hey, what does that tattoo say? >> Who's Bernardo? >> Yeah. Is that Is Bernardo? >> Who's Bernardo? >> Is that your grandpa? Is that your dad? Who is that? Like, no, it's my boyfriend. That's cool. >> That's cool. That's Where'd you get the tattoo at? You know what I mean? You
10:57 just start a conversation. >> My middle name is Bernardo. >> Your middle name is Bernardo? >> My middle name is Bernardo? >> Oh, my name. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My name is Bernardo. >> Oh, your boyfriend's Bernardo? My name is Bernardo. Am I your boyfriend? >> Ah, >> titties this big though. I think I just like who? So, Bernard Bernardo. Oh, well. So, he's seems cool. >> I feel like a girl like this probably gets so much of like like attempt number one 2 3 four. Like everything down the list that somebody could throw at her, you got to be on page two, you know? Like you can't even be on like this part of the list. Like you got to write her a ████ ha coup on a napkin and just hand it to her. >> She's so ████ like numb and jaded. The first 15's not gonna work. >> Yeah. You got to give her like stupid stuff though. Like some something that's like really like honestly I think I would just write her some ████ stupid poetry and walk away. Yeah. Write her
11:47 some poetry. Go to the bathroom. >> Come back. See if she's still still down and make eye contact with me and like acknowledge how weird that was. >> And then and then last resort you're like I'm just going to hit this ████ over the head and drag her to my trunk. >> Yeah. But there's too many cameras. So you have to wait. You got to wait. You got to follow her home first. >> Flintstone style. >> Yeah, you got to you got to follow her home first. They're a dark neighborhood. Hopefully the sun's gone down. >> Hey, I got a I got a better idea. I got a better idea. >> Yeah. >> Then hitting her on the head and dragging. >> Yeah, way better idea than that. You just walk up to her, put your hand out, she grabs it, right? If she grabs it. If not, >> chances are she's not going to grab it. >> If she doesn't grab it and just go like, "Hey, grab my hand. We're going to go down to the front row. >> Come with me if you want to lift." >> No, come with me if you want to go to the front row. So, and then if she grabs your hand, you pretend you're taking her to the front row, right? And you keep walking down. And then you keep walking
12:38 down to the field. And you just keep walking. >> And then and then the Yellow Jacket security guard start following you [laughter] on the field. And she goes, "F███ you, dude. What the ████ you?" >> Yeah. And you just keep walking down the field. >> Walking down the field. And then like the game stops and Messi comes out. Ronaldo comes out. They just start shaking your hand. And so Trump comes down by helicopter. He's ████ saluting you and everything like that. >> You were always my hero. >> Jesus literally comes back and rises again. It's like Subie, you're my man. >> Ever so quickly. I got this. Don't worry about it. I can tell a story very quickly. I coolest thing I ever did at a bar twice. 100% success rate. Talked about this many times over the years, but check this out. I look at this ████ across the bar. She's looking at me like Susan is right now. And I'm like, "Okay, eye contacted. Oh ████ Eye contacted." And I went
13:28 and she ████ gets up and comes over. Let's ████ go, boys. Did that twice. Didn't have the balls to ever do it again after that. How >> come you didn't have the balls to do it again after? >> I I'm a relationship guy, so like I was just bouncing relationship relationship relationship. So like I never I was I got to say I handled the first one like ████ cuz like I did all that and the cool ████ and I was like ████ what the ████ do I do now? ████ when she sat next to you, you're like, "Uh." >> And then I didn't even get her name or I got her name, but I didn't get her number. >> Did you just When she sat down, you were like, "I didn't I can't believe that worked." And you ran away. >> In my head, I was like, "I can't ████ believe this ████ worked." And then I was like, "Now what? Oh, f███." And then and then um most embarrassingly, I went on Craigslist missed encounters the next day. >> Oh no. [screaming] >> A NERD GUY. NERDY GUY. I and I was like,
14:18 "Your name was Rocky. We met in a bar in Silver Lake. Uh, we talked for a little bit. I didn't get your number." >> Just pathetic. >> That's ████ sick, man. >> You think? >> Yeah. Yeah. Because obviously >> I was like, >> you're fine now. So that's It's not pathetic. >> It's just more like to go through like that version of like that young self. It's like ████ yeah. >> That's what makes you, man. You know, now I go here and she goes, >> [laughter]
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