0:00 [Music] so 243 pounds of contraband blank were seized at the u.s texas border i'm sorry the texas mexico border 250 blank 243 pounds of black marijuana cocaine contraband country brand blank what is considered what's a contraband vaccine cards a controlled item vaccine cards i think it's just illegal right you can't have it fireworks contraband cavity fillings nope nope um guns cream cheese caviar more more clothes you're closed you're so close
0:50 what is it untaxed salsa contact salsa no prescription grade mouthwash no that's good i've used that before it's good mexican steroids oh that's a good no um do you normally give us a hand give us a hint baloney there's ████ really contrabanded balloons that's the hint oh the hand okay hot dog meat pepperoni contraband two-headed cows no pigs you're close unreleased lunchables like future joe's really cool not close to pigs it's hot dogs piggy banks it's bologna oh you seriously regular below you came the closest the hint i gave you guys a hint you said the thing i gave you a hand baloney
1:40 so yeah pork products have the potential to introduce foreign animal diseases that can have devastating effects to use okay so when you're crossing the board right so it's illegal bologna don't bring produce jumping certain foods you gotta fill out that car yeah a customer's car 250 pounds that is that like a commercial shipment worth of baloney that's a lot it's a little boring all right how do we smuggle it in that's the question that's the 100 do it right how do you do it right that's what i wanted to get to what's the right way going from mexico to texas there's only a straight line remember it's bologna so it's a little bit different than something like say cocaine yeah easy sell the bologna okay you're crazy dudes what's this baloney world i don't get it how does that work all right this is what you do what's the conversion rate what's the goal this is what you do okay joe all
2:30 right you make sandwiches with all the bologna it sounds delicious in a picnic basket go across the border you still have that problem though where they see it's blown they know it's no but but but now it's not commercial now it's my lunch how much how much you crossed the border you de-sandwiched the bologna these sandwiches now you put it into bologna packets but now you can also separately sell the tomatoes the tomatoes you could sell the lettuce recess i saw the bread that was my question so this time bread is smart so if you're smuggling one sandwich one time you gotta go like 2 000 times back and forth bread that had tomato juice on it briefly for at least six hours what's the where's the plane no playing oh it's a new plan it's a picnic plan come on get what the times made big plan well i think anthony has a different idea okay what's your idea anthony yeah what's the idea
3:20 me i told you my picnic plan all right you think the customs people are going to really believe that you're going to eat that much he's doing one sandwich at a time he's just going 90 dollars 200 250 times here we go all right mexican elementary school yeah field trip you you buy a ████ catering car 2000 kids all right you get a catering company all right some overhead for this plan you work you work your ass off for a couple years yeah yeah you grow the value of the catering company get some good yelp reviews for your catering company okay okay you you get you buy a few buses build the business you get all the ████ uh mexican orphans yeah remember 250 pounds of bologna 250. then you sell the business for a plane no and then you make bought out
4:11 you go public whole business for one plane you make 2 500 sandwiches okay okay put it in coolers go over the border say we're doing a field trip to san diego right what happened to the texas the kids the kids i'm going this way not yet ethically sourced orphans ethically sourced i like that actually perfectly sourced organic okay that's super cool we unload them free range we try we get us we get a assembly line and then they de-assemble the sandwich we repack the bologna and then there we go you assemble the lines what happens to the orphans at the end we go back to mexico
5:02 they're working so they're no better off there's gonna we're gonna have tacos when we get home you know like it's only a three hour job bologna tacos three hours why did we buy this plane it's just sitting there what's the point oh wait we gotta that's my vlog let's say we get ten thousand bologna now we're talking plane prices okay okay because i'm gonna buy a plane for 250 pounds of bologna okay what's the resale value it's below maybe we'll get a motorcycle okay how much is a plane real quick how a plane it at least 250 000 if if you're getting the cheapest one yeah well between fifteen thousand and a hundred thousand all right how much is 250 pounds of baloney wholesale price how much does bologna move well we're first selling they can sell retail i don't know anymore no it's people were moving bologna dude
5:52 how we smoking how he's smuggling blood oh he's smoking bologna dude why are they why are they smuggling it though it's worth like four g's all right four g's this is what we do you buy a bunch of buses and with orphans in them for four g's it's pretty cheap in mexico believe me man you're gonna spend a hundred grand to smuggle four g's okay i bought a donut there i bought a donut there for 10 cents oh my goodness if you scale it off that yeah it's a savings that's so smart though because what if we buy them for 10 cents in mexico then we sell donuts in america for ████ the dollars oh ████ you know we just 10x we're missing it we're missing them we just need a plane to bring it all out that's stupid i just buy the plane yeah the plane went by itself to buy unlimited donuts in america that's pretty good yeah did you buy a plane in mexico to buy donuts in america is that what you just
6:42 said 100 so agricultural specialists discovered five rolls of undeclared mexican bologna hidden under bags of chips as well as in the trunk compartment under the seats of a of a vehicle while it was crossing the border oh so they intentionally like hit it to smuggle it oh they knew it there they didn't have any orphans smuggling bologna under bags of chips sounds like a really big picnic it so far does i bet in their mind they're like no one's gonna check 250 pounds is a lot too though so 55 pounds of the baloney was discovered in the suv and the driver and informed specialist that he resells the baloney in the u.s for almost double the price he paid in mexico kind of like the donuts the donuts yeah uh the second scheme the second discovery uh donuts is a better one on january 21st when the u.s citizen and the luna resident of colorado presented herself
7:32 for inspection via vehicle the driver also gave negative declaration uh and was referred for a secondary inspection so she says that like no i don't i don't have anything and then she got referred for a secondary inspection after saying that she doesn't have anything because they and then they found 19 bowls of pork bologna weighing 188 pounds under the real seat inside duvet covered liners and luggage wow how do they keep the bologna cool though don't they need to kevin like ice cream i know nothing but ice packs that's bad man you can't do that to meat man but that's what they do right they resell it like like more expensive in the united states i wish i would go to tulum just to eat ████ donuts again so like the way that they do donuts there's these guys that run roll around with donut boxes and then they're like it's it's got like a donut box in front of a bicycle handle or some ████ and they ████ they they
8:22 ████ like weld it onto the front of the bicycle so they go around they go right and then when they open it it's like oh it's so warm because it's fresh and flies fly out and ████ and you're like oh what do i even choose from you got cinnamon rolls you got ████ something that looks like a croissant but it's a lie it's actually a donut and then like he's like no no man and then like you could bargain for it and then i'm like i'll pay you 10 cents are they good they're amazing the flies are that's a big indicator yeah flies level yeah and in some dudes they're they're they're more luxurious they have like a uh they have like a plastic one so they don't have to open it and you can choose and you'll be like i want this one and then they'll open it for you there's no flies for that one sometimes there still is but yeah a little bit but nine out of ten flies don't lie yeah that's a good
9:13 donut yeah man they have some it's good i don't know why i'm like why can't you make donuts like that here winchell's what's up man what about crispy no it's not the same it's like it's like you know those cambodian donut shops right like that they all have those big fat ones and it's fluffy imagine that but it just is it's it just tastes like more fresh or something i don't know what it is like greasier okay yeah oh it could be so the bologna unfortunately was seized and destroyed by the border patrol i wonder what the memories of construction how did they destroy bologna during a picnic they destroyed them in their bellies that's what it means okay you know a better thing is you buy pigs all right you sound like the ████ plug why did we do it why do we do this because it's it's it's the whole wholesale okay and the thing is baloney
10:06 can't walk pigs can are you sure if you walk that way you're willing to go on a record about that you walk you buy the pigs you walk it over the border you just walk in with you yeah that don't cost nothing you got to pay ████ gas money technically mean you're not trafficking if they just happen to be walking with you joe's the idea is guy that you pay and he sits in a bar and he's like he's like baloney doesn't walk but pigs do you're like oh ████ hold on thank you and you leave you have an amazing idea you need to pay me you didn't get it he's like that's amazing he just breaks his car he was getting going so the pigs walk yeah all right you go over the border um you're walking your pigs what are they gonna say you got your id you know they're gonna be like hey hey no no no you can't bring your pigs over here it's like what i walk my
10:57 dog i walk my horse my pet yeah yeah that's normal you put the red vest on them it's my emotional ████ it's my emotional support what are they gonna say to me and they can't ask for papers yeah this is normal i only have 200 of them this is stressing my emotions out just having to go through yeah the border patrol be like oh i'm sorry you're american you're so yeah i'm so sorry you're an american wow you're one of us and i'm like yeah don't worry about it i won't sue all right literally i was about to cry and i don't worry about it i'm about to have a ████ panic attack right now you know yeah they're like no no don't have a panic attack don't you yeah and be like literally i walk over with the pigs yeah that's good go to my bologna connect and i turned them into bologna and hopefully you took the vest off beforehand but if not then i guess the vest got chucked in there too it'll be emotional support baloney okay emotional support baloney
12:03 you
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