0:00 I'm not going to lie, Steve. You be You be You be saying exactly WHAT I'M DOING. COME ON, STEVE. YOU SHOULD BE ON MY TEAM. LABEL MAKER? THE LABEL MAKER? COME ON, BRO. What the ████ is that? You never used one? You don't know where the ████ your shirt's going? What? He's labeling clothes. Workout shirts are your work shirts. No, they're not. Exactly. Welcome back to Careful Boys. Today we're talking about the things that our wives or significant others do that we find problematic. Okay, okay. Yeah. Probably drug dealing. I don't know, he beats me. Whoa, Jesus. But what did you say though? Yeah, what did you But she's like, you beat it up good though. You could probably go a little harder. Nice, nice, nice. Problematic?
0:50 That'd be shocked, Nick. Yeah, problematic, Joe. My wife is perfect. She'll never do anything wrong. Is today throw your wife under the bus day? I know. People like when we talk about relationships. Deal with it. And my thing is my thing is maybe just like her clothes. She has a lot of clothes and she says she doesn't have any. That's just women, bro. nothing to wear. She says she doesn't have any. Can my wife like have me get her back up on that? No, yeah. Sometimes you feel like you have nothing to wear. Yeah, they do. And it's it's more so because you've worn it so many times that you just want to feel pretty in something new. So maybe buy her a nice outfit. No, no. It's like Hold on. Bro, hold on. Hold on. Don't laugh on me. Don't laugh. All right. I I think it's not it's not about buying her me trying to buy her new clothes. It's just like I think
1:40 that's kind of what it's about. When when she when she buys new clothes She just like She wear She wears it one time. She beats you. Sometimes Sometimes she wears it one time She belittles me after. and just it's on the floor. Not even washed anymore. And I'm just like, "Hey, she's probably going to put it up or what, you know, do something about it." And then it just stays there. I'm just like You know, I'm not even going to say nothing. Next thing you know, she comes back from a trip and her clothes are just stuck in the luggage for a week. Dude, that welcome to That's just chicks, bud. But, you know, I don't I don't get mad. I just like, "Whatever. I'll All chicks clean. All of them. All of them. Every single one of them. Clean. Clean. He's like, "Damn, I think you got me on that one." Oh, no. Actually, no. I can't stand a messy room or anything on the floor. Yeah, you play
2:30 pretty clean. Cannot. I It's just I grew up in like such a messy, cluttered home that that just immediately transports me to that time. I did, too. Your apartment looks like the unit they show you when you want to move to the The showroom? Does anyone live here? Yeah, my apartment needs to look like nobody lives here. Is it the same spot? Same spot? No, I'm talking about the old one. What if your man's is is is a is sloppy? If he's extremely messy I don't think we could ever like live together. I think that'd be really really rough. Cuz you cuz you get OCD about it? Um it would bother me. Like I like to have a clean home. It allows me to think clear. Like even in the morning, the first thing I do is make my bed. Like if I don't make my bed in the morning, I feel off. ████ are crazy. Have you seen that?
3:21 All she said was that. I feel off if I don't make my bed in the morning. They're wild. Have you seen that? Guys can't win out here, boys. We can't win. You see like a millennial that was like, "I live like this because I grew up like this." And then the grew up like this was like a boomer home that's hella hoarding and collecting all kinds of ████ all over the place. So then they want a minimalistic situation. Minimalistic life, less ████ just everything has a place. Yeah. But I need someone to set up that system for me cuz I'm My brain cannot do that. I'm down to set up the system if you follow it. Yeah, see I'll follow the system, but I need the system. So the limo sets up the She sets up the system for us. I put that ████ in work clothes. I got systems for days. You got label You got a label maker?
4:11 No. No. I'm thinking about getting one so I can just You go to dot com. Had to do it. No, hey. You got the URL actually. I'm not going to lie, Steve. You be You be You be saying exactly WHAT I'M DOING. COME ON, STEVE. YOU SHOULD BE ON MY TEAM. NO, BUT NOT THE ████ DOG. Label maker? The label maker? Come on, bro. What the ████ is that? You never used one? You don't know where the ████ your shirt's going? No, no. Shirts, t-shirts, work shirts, workout shirts. You know, you got to put that on there. He's labeling clothes. Workout shirts are your work shirts. No, they're not. Exactly. I have two formal shirts. The rest are workout shirts, okay? Guys, they're not all the same. I can't work out in 100% cotton shirt. Are we crazy?
5:02 Needs to be polyester blend. Damn, I didn't think I'd get flamed for saying label maker. I would have shut the ████ up. Well, if you want the best price. This is why I deflect. Yeah, yeah. Go back to it. Safer here. Anybody here have a label maker? Huh? Huh? I mean, that's where you should go. Leave it in, Cam. Leave it in. If you have the balls But you don't. Don't do you? Don't. You little man. Don't you leave. Little man. I'm going to see what that website is real quick. Let me save that. Oh, it's available. We can get it. Go Daddy. Go Daddy. $22 a month. That's it? We've been sitting on that one for a while. What do what do our wives do that we find problematic? What's Nikki's?
5:52 He's like, "Where can I start?" Yeah, exactly. I We've talked about this before, but I mean we might as well say it again. Leaving coffee cups all over the Goddamn place. That counts. It's a It's an epidemic in my house. It's a real issue. I can tell exactly where she's been in the morning cuz there's coffee cups there. There's a trail of half drinking drinks. Exactly. With cement at the bottom and depending on when I get to them. Yo, I don't know how this happens, but Hannah has a coffee cup on her side of the bed and also on my bed stand. And I'm like, "I don't even bring drinks to the room. I don't know why there's one ████ right next to my bed stand." The nightstand, yeah. She got on me cuz I put my hat on her makeup counter. That's it. Put my hat on there. That's all I had to do. If you had a label machine If you had a If you had a
6:42 label maker You wouldn't know where to put your hat. See? See? She can relate. It's just like that's not the spot for the hats. That's not the hat spot, okay? But don't leave a trail of coffee cups everywhere. I bet I don't relate to that part, but But then if Nikki had a little a little hook with a a label on it says hats You could just hang your hat on there. Well, that's the spot for hats. She just did that in her closet. She has this I walked in her closet. I was like, "What the f███?" She has like a hat thing and all these hats are up up and down on it. It's like a hat rack. I never even heard of it. You put your hang your hat on it? No, seriously. Cuz I have I have like 27 hats. And I was like I want a hat rack. And then she was excited that I wanted a hat rack and she got me one. Wow. I love organizing ████ Go to the Amazon previous orders. Buy it again. It's all It's all I changed my life. Amazon Basics. Exactly. Now I have all
7:33 my hats in one spot. But then you still put it on her makeup counter. Well, right. But But Okay, so let's check this out. I'm going to bed. Yeah. There it is. This is completely off topic. Hat rack's all the way downstairs. But Steve, you said you would follow the system. You have a hat rack and you're not putting the hat on the rack. It's uno hat. There's It's a The hat rack is downstairs. So I'm going to bed. It's like middle of the night. You're saying the system has no wiggle room? Yeah, no wiggle room. That's the system. This is how the ████ are. Rigid. No, cuz cuz Why why get why get a whole system for the hats and not put the hat where the hats go? Kind of a good point. Good point. She had just cleaned off her makeup counter, which usually is a ████ show. Yep. It's always a ████ show. ████ show, right? And so I'm like, "What's a hat on top?" That's like nothing. It's like put a hat on a ████ show. Nobody cares. Your makeup counter is like mad
8:24 organized? I even have a little like um wood leverage thing that like has all of my little containers and then yeah. And I I'll I'll organize it in the morning, too. Wow. I maybe I'm just OCD. Maybe I'm just like really OCD. Maybe she gets stuffed in a locker. Maybe I should. Maybe you should put your hat where the ████ hats go. That's what I keep hearing. I keep hearing that. I'm going to beat you up. I don't like to think when I'm on a mission. So things get scattered. You know what I mean? And then later I look and I go, "Oh, I better clean this up." are better multitaskers. Yeah, that's true. we can put the hats and then do this and do that. Yeah. Subi disagrees. Tell them why you disagree, Subi. Tell them. Tell her your points. But not in stressful situations. Subi's booting up. Multitasker? Yeah.
9:16 Fire. Are you? I'm But are you But are you effective? I'm seasoned. Are you getting Cs on the all the multitask that you're doing? You know what I mean? Are you getting As? Probably Cs. Yeah, that's the problem. Never mind. I think when guys are stretched thin, we don't do very good job. If it's too much, I'm like, "Oh." Well, I think that's true for everybody. But you have to know your strengths and weaknesses. I know for a fact I'm not a good multitasker. I'm not as good. Yo, check it out. If it's like dishes or coffee at the same time, but you got to be making rice at the same time. You got to make sure I'm looking at the kid at the same time, making the milk at the same time. Everything's going to be pretty good, but you have priorities, right? The milk got to be A. Couple things are Cs, but the only problem is if you decide to just turn on the game for 1 second. Everything else is gone. That's what it is. That's it's it's the I can multitask up until I grow a preference.
10:06 Yeah. Cuz I do that when I'm like working and I have to like export a really big file and I'm like, well, I'm not just going to sit here and look at the bar. Yeah, well, that that no that But it's still a fun to do. I did that job. Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying. So, I turn on the game and I'm just I'm just turning it on while I go take care of the rest of the ████ multitasking. What's the worst that could happen? Yeah, what's the what's Couple games in Newtown. I'm just like, yo, is this a Big go quick. Woah, this Yeah, it's a fast. Yo, this server is full. And then I turn around and milk's burned. THE ████ MILK IS GONE. THE COFFEE maker's not turned on. I'm like, ████ Baby's getting married in the Baby's not where it's supposed to be. I'm like, where the ████ are you at, man? Jesus. When it comes to physical labor,
10:56 I'm good at multitasking. Yeah. I think. I can do a couple like like Subi. It's usually cooking stuff. Rice cooker, meat, veg, whatever. And but then sometimes I'll be like watching I'll put a podcast on in the background. And then I'll do the same thing like Subi where I'm like, oh, this is interesting. And I'll sit and watch. Yeah. And then I'm like, ████ that's on the stove. Yeah, and I get it. The stove alarm's going off. Yeah, let it go. ████ But there's definitely something different about trying to I think men always make the excuse that they can multitask with gaming involved. Oh. Cuz I never ████ Gaming never works, bro. Hold up, no. Cuz that's not that's not physical. My soul transcends when I play. I can't help it. IT'S SPIRITUAL. DUDE, THAT'S WHAT I'M cuz you feel like, you know, I took the alpha brain. Even with alpha brain, boom. I'm like, dude, I'm going to be on top of this ████ day. This is me. This is I'm the ████ boss. I'm the alpha. Sounds like an
11:47 alpha brain hallucination. I'm the ████ boss and then boom, you're just like, I don't give a ████ about everything. I don't give a ████ Burgers This is a good day for me. You know what I mean? Good game. S███'s going well. S███'s going great. Yo, yo, Ryan, you hopping on tonight? Bet. I'mma warm up right now. You know what I'm good. You know what I think girls can do that's pretty crazy is they can like they can hear three people talking to them at the same time and like still listen. That's hard. That's true. I can't type and listen to my laptop. can respond. I've seen girls at the store where they'll pick up a phone while they're helping someone on the register and talking to them while someone's yelling over an order at them. And I'm just like, okay, if that was me, I'd be like malfunctioning cuz I wouldn't I would only listen to one person. That's why we can remember things from
12:37 like 3 months ago. Exactly the way you said it, where you said it, how you said it. Yeah, but then I just I gaslight you. I gaslight you. Your memory's always been bad, babe. Always been bad. Remember when they gave gave you a birth certificate? Where? I hope I'm right here. There it is. Are you able to read while Nikki's talking to you or while your girl's talking to you? I do auto I do auto responses. I can't I can't either I can't read or I can't hear. It's like By the way, I do auto responses. I don't even know I'm doing auto responses. When it comes to me reading something, I need all hands on deck. Yep. I need all my attention. at reading cuz I'm going to be like I need all my body parts. Bro, if I get interrupted while I'm reading, it's like it feels like I'm holding a ████ skyscraper while I'm trying to like listen and then I'm like, and then you drop it and you forget what the ████ you were reading about. Yeah,
13:27 reading is not a multitasking. I will go ahead three paragraphs and realize that I've been thinking about something else and then I have I can't do that, dude. Or I'll read through it and I'm like, I'm killing this book. And then like I don't know what I read. Bro, hey, this is me though. I'll be reading one paragraph and then I look up, look at Sasha, say something, and I keep reading the same paragraph look up one more time and then Sasha's like, what are you doing? You've been on the one page the whole time. And I'm like, You're like, can you get off my back? You're like LeBron, dude. I don't remember. I don't remember the first page. What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude. Always on the first page. Always on the first page of a book. Pride and Prejudice. You're a Memento, basically, too. She's like, dude, you're you're not even you're not still intro, babe. Hey, Bron, what's your favorite part of that? He's like, I like all of it. You know what's a problematic thing? What a liar, dude. I don't know if this
14:18 is this is not problematic to the world, but it is like to our world is like Smackle always complained that like she's like, something doesn't feel right. I have something like going on in my stomach or I have like I feel like my neck is broken. I feel like this is hurt. And I'm like every time I'm like, go take care of it. Go to the hospital. Go do something. I cannot heal these things. But she's like, we'll see. We'll see how it goes. I can't ████ I can't suck. I can't ████ I can't That's what Smacks says. I can't imagine her saying that. Hell no. I can't ████ I can't suck. You know what it is? I can't ████ I can't suck, but no hospital, but can't ████ can't Don't even think about it. Don't even look at me like Other girls do that, but that's like that stresses me out because I'm like, what if it's something big? What if it's like a like a huge thing? Go to the doctor. Why is she like an Asian auntie? I don't know, dude. Right when he said that he
15:08 got shocked. He was like, what? But then LIKE SHE WOULD THAT WOULD BE CRAZY. YOU KNOW THAT'S SMACKS' MOUTH, TOO. DUDE, it would be weird, yeah. I'd be insane. That would be like you're possessed. Do you have a brain injury? Do you have a TBI? I can't ████ or suck. I think what's problematic and I kind of said this before, too, is um if they heard a lot of the conversations, they would think that Hannah's homophobic. But she just roasts guys that are like she she thinks every guy is gay. I love that. And it's so and it comes out of nowhere. We'll just be driving down the street talking about something, I don't know, like Joe Rogan podcast or whatever. And all of a sudden she goes, oh my god, the way that guy's holding that umbrella is so gay. And then she would notice all these little things that like I'm not even noticing.
15:58 But when she points it out, I can't stop looking. And now I'm looking at every guy holding an umbrella. She goes, you know when it's raining? She goes, a guy holding an umbrella is so gay. And I'm like, I see it. I see it. No, it's like Or they or they spin it. They're like so like, oh, the rain. You know? So, how would you hold it? How should you Well, she goes, first of all, a man shouldn't be afraid of a little bit of a sprinkle. So, she's just like, let them walk in the rain. And then she goes, I get it if you have a suit, but then she goes, okay, see that security guard? He has a big ████ umbrella. And he's just standing there guarding the corner. And then he looks like he belongs with that and it's actually like it's practical. Yeah, yeah, it's cuz it's raining all the time in the UK. So, are they all just gay? She's she's like, it's the Or if he's holding it for someone.
16:48 Yeah. Preferably So, yeah, that's exactly what yeah, I don't know. Maybe it's a girl thing. Preferably what is it? Preferably a lady if he's holding it for a guy. Or like he like like you just mentioned, purposeful, right? Like it's there. And I was like, I don't get it. And she goes, you see that guy? He has a little tiny umbrella and he's trying to like stay dry. And it's like at this point, ████ it, you're wet. Why you being so fragile? What if what if it's a see-through umbrella? Kind of gay, huh? What if what if it's the one that's like a hat? It has like a headband. What did she think that guy He's only dry here. Everything else his shoulders Sleeves are soaked, dude. He just has like a ring. He has a ring of dryness right here. He's like, my hair gets curly. You don't understand. It gets really curly. I'm afraid of the sprinkles. You know, I used to not Well, now I really don't
17:39 like having an umbrella. Um but now I'm really never going to have an umbrella now. Now that I'm thinking about it. I I don't EVEN WANT WIPERS. I DON'T EVEN TURN MY WIPERS ON. I JUST GO, STRAIGHT. THAT'S STRAIGHT. I COULDN'T JUDGE YOU GUYS. Smack Smack does say that I do that a lot. She said that I never use the wipers. And she gets pissed. Yeah. She gets mad and then she said she looked it up and found out that a lot of girls complain about that. Really? Well, maybe because they would have already wiped it or whatever. No, I just I just can still see. And she's like, how are you seeing the road? And I'm like, I it's right there. Rain-X guy. That's who you are, huh? You put Rain-X on? And she's like, apparently apparently like it's a thing that girls are always complaining about their guy never turns the wipers on. I'm like, what? What? I turn my wipers on. My ████ can't ████ we're gay, dude. We're gay. We're gay. Wipers are the umbrella of driving.
18:30 Or like we'll be walking around and out of nowhere she goes, do you think she knows that her boyfriend's gay? And I'm all like, what? And she goes, look. Look. Look. He doesn't like her. And I'm like, huh? And he goes, look at his body language. Like he likes guys. I love that Hannah was born with the power to see ghosts and the gayness in guys. The gaydar's strong. Ghosts aren't gaydar. She has like strong gaydar. Wait wait wait. Has she Has she ever made comments about us being gay? She's got to think we're all super gay. Then then it doesn't work. THEN IT DOESN'T WORK. PROBABLY, DUDE. She'd probably do A PODCAST HERE. WHEN WE WERE GETTING JADE, I WAS ACTUALLY trying to be all manly and stuff. I don't want to like, oh, can I see that one right there? I only picked up an umbrella one time to hand it to my mother. She doesn't think any of you guys are
19:20 gay. Thank god, dude. Now I'm really insecure. I have a complex around Hannah now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we got to be all on our best behavior. No, I think she'll she doesn't change her mind about it though. She's like first impression, you're gay or you're not. Yeah, huh? It's it's either you are or you aren't. I could be in a all the way balls in a dude. And she'll be like, No, he's not. Pretty straight how you're doing it. He's a He's a man that has sex with men. He's not gay. That's just Omicron trying to pull a prank on me. The iced tea scene.
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