0:00 so do you like fishing um if you've ever been deep sea fishing before there is a there is a there's a you can fish and then when the fish gets oh my God I can't do this business anymore [Music] all right so what were you just saying right now uh Nick we said it's funny to call our wives ████ sometimes no no it's like wives in general like anybody's wild I got it I disagree it's a dude it's only funny when you love them yeah it's totally funny if it's a parody of how you really feel tip goes she goes hey uh do you ever call me a ████ behind my back and I'm like babe nah you got a good laugh about it you ever call it to her face I think that's the funniest thing in the world nah uh
0:51 I don't know I gotta try I'll try tonight ask her when somebody's doing something we're just doing something that's pissing you off uh stop being a ████ stop that hey can you stop in a ████ please make some hot yeah it actually breaks the moment and then we both start laughing yeah and it actually takes it down two notches and we could actually talk about the problem I don't know if that's gonna work for everybody someone didn't put the paper towel over the food when they put in the microwave you know who did that okay I would get a divorce speaking of um somebody explained to me what's happening in this photo speaking of ████ wives That's the oh that's the Chinese Lotto winner the publishing Club
1:42 I thought that was a Chinese Scantron I thought that was it's one of those a lot of things where you want to hide your identity so you show up in a costume right exactly oh that's tight so this is the Lotto winner the other guy's presenting it yeah the other guy's presenting the chat ████ all right and the guy who won the lotto is in costume that's smart what if they what if they trace this guy and they go this guy's giving out money let's get him so so why would he hide his identity because you don't get scammed bro because his family's gonna come ████ ask him for money and ████ dude yeah because he specifically wanted to keep a secret from his wife and his child over fear yeah because she's being a little ████ all the time over fears it would make them lazy oh that's the most that's so Chinese yeah and he's right dude he's probably right so this was a he's gonna make him lazy
2:34 this is a man from Southern China who decided to keep his 30 million dollar lottery ticket the secret damn to his wife that's correct and his kid yeah how'd that works that's wild how's it worked perfectly man that's the same type of like thought process like oh you got to sleep with your socks on You're Gonna Catch cold yeah that's exactly the same my wife she can be so lazy that's so funny there's such cause and effect like giant leaps yeah don't go to sleep with your hair when you could get cancer yeah yeah it's like ████ really for so long in my life I believe that you know what I mean like I would never do that there's no such thing as a slippery slope over there yeah it just goes zero to 100 on everything yeah
3:25 Superman the ride every time you're gonna die tomorrow yeah I I think that'd be pretty cool to keep it if you could win the lotto keep a secret and then your wife for the rest of your life just like how are we affording all this ████ yeah don't worry about it the laziness is coming out and then she finds the costume in the closet would you use that for don't worry about it honey if she's still working at the matcha spot for 30 years oh ████ she's working at jumpy it's a family business it is maintain the cover no you can't quit were you telling us about someone you knew in the car scene yeah that had a Lambo and then like uh what was like everyone like people asked him what are you doing because I work at Ralph's or whatever he kept saying he was he bagged groceries and everyone would just laugh and he actually did but that was his real job he didn't quit yeah that's super that won the lotto
4:15 that's actually the best way to not lose it yeah maintain what you're doing and then just keep that as like a big savings hell yeah you're chilling dude and then everyone thought he was being sarcastic for years like I saw that guy for years and we would just go haha that's funny man oh here comes the grocery bagger and like he really was and then we found out because he was so socially awkward we were like is that really a grocery bagger and then someone was like yeah dude he won the lotto he just works at I don't know Gelson's or something I saw this doc about um these uh uh lunch ladies they're like School Lunch Ladies and um they won the lotto because you know they would pull as a as a group oh and then they would they would they would be like hey let's let's as a as a fun thing let's all like pull money and they all became ████ millionaires but
5:07 they all kept the job last time nope and smart this is a Hot Topic right now because the lotto in California is what like 1.3 billion that just uh the Powerball just got won uh I think somebody just won yeah it was 1.4 billion like last night or something like that what an ████ so out of all the things we do for work let's say we won the lotto what would you stop doing this show JK dancing for work maybe no you haven't even peaked yet shut the ████ up why would you stop now bro dancing for fun is different from dancing for work you are you saying this ain't fun bro you're mad at me about the Wisconsin video I would love to do this for money I think I would still do the same ████ I would do everything just less on the uh
5:57 volume aspect but then production wise would be crazy Crank It Up oh yeah oh that's true I would put more money in JK and just do crazy ████ like we're gonna do JK news like in the San Diego Zoo but instead of like on the train like in the lion so far okay we need Joe to win the lotto yeah we're trying to Target Dodge Lions yeah ████ like that so we do that but then we only need to do like five videos or ten videos versus like uh 20 in a day you know yeah I see it cool slow down production that's what I'm saying bring the volume down but then the production is quality right yeah we need to win the lotto something like that so in this situation right he said I didn't tell my wife and child for fear that they would be too complacent and would not work or work hard in the future her he has bought 40 tickets in
6:47 eastern uh wherever the ████ you pronounce this and each ticket had the same seven numbers on it 2 15 19 26 27 29 and two again after realizing he won he placed himself in a hotel room for the night before claiming his prize to avoid misplacing his ticket oh that said great did not leave the hotel because I was afraid to go out and lose the lottery ticket the freshly minted millionaire uh said he'd been betting on the lottery for over a decade but has only won minor prizes in the past so he considers buying the lotto a hobby for him his family doesn't care about it he says he doesn't spend much money on it but it provides a ray of Hope for himself and the crazy thing that sounds sad that does sound classy it sounded pretty sad it's a way of Hope in my darkness similarly though on uh he ████ hates
7:39 his family life and his life sucks that's why he's keeping a secret yeah uh but a woman on Reddit like responded to this news article that also got posted and said that she revealed that she kept her lottery win a secret from her husband for several years as well what at that time they weren't married so she was legally still uh single and she said it wasn't a lot of money but it was enough to change her life the AKA like after taxes is still like 480 000 or something like that that's a lot man but still choosing to like you know because she was technically single uh by she could still say that you know she could still take the winnings anonymously yeah so she decided to keep it between just her and like the government and Taxation and stuff she didn't tell her friends her family or anything like that because of just that same anxiety and fear that it would like upend and and change the way that her relationships would be or the way people
8:29 perceived her and also just it changes people I was listening to Derek Lewis was a UFC fighter and he grew up in the hood and he was on Joe Rogan and he was talking about how like you know the minute he became champ for all these family members are like this right like what are you gonna do for me and then he was like all right because they uh Joe asked him like are you ever gonna hook it for family he goes ████ no and he goes how come he goes because a lot a bunch of my family members that I bought cars homes for they end up selling just to buy drugs and stuff damn oh it's like you money doesn't fix the problem it feels like it does because it always feels like exactly it creates more problems yeah that's why I don't know if I'm weird but um I want to see that the the answer short answer is yes expose which members are garbage ████ yeah dude I ████ dangle bait all over that ████ and be like come take it ████ so I can tell you no what would be your bait and who are the immediate family members you're considering oh I
9:20 filtered them all throughout life my family's ████ sick like I could I could have a million dollars right now and nobody would say give this to me they wouldn't nobody would say that no the only person is probably my stepdad that goes I got a great investment for you and he's been pitching ████ business Investments for me for so long dude it was so funny when we had a barbecue out in Hawaii like Dave I was like David watch out my stepdad will talk like a ████ you gotta tell them shut up and he speaks English too like oh his English yeah I mean he used to work for uh the the the the the the the federal government like in Washington DC yeah so like he has an accent still but he talks like a turtle because he's old and he speaks like this so he takes a long time to make a sentence and you don't know that he's pitching to you so he'll right now his whole thing is like um
10:10 he has friends who developed this Tech that already exists was pitching in his voice so do you like fishing um if you ever been deep sea fishing before there is a there is a there was a you can fish and then when the fish gets oh my God I can't do this business anymore it shocks the fish it shocks the fish and then you can reel it in so so it's imagine this on Shark Tank and in the whole time you think he's just telling you a story then he goes so what do you think what do you mean you win it's a good business right [Laughter] so he's always trying to pitch me ████ like watch Dude somebody's gonna make this and multi-million dollar business ████ changes the entire fishing atmosphere dude he made friends with
11:01 organized crime in the Philippines he's he's so naive he doesn't ████ know this he doesn't know right but when he was explaining to to me the story he's basically trying to sell illegally caught fish because you know there's like you have to have like you got you gotta fish in like areas that are legal and you can't you know you can't go out and get tuna wherever you want in in commercially right so he goes he was telling me and he was explaining to me yeah I could get a really good deal on tuna and this and that and I'm all like what and I was like listening to it I'm like dude this sounds like you're getting illegal tuna you can get him ████ real you get a big ass trouble for doing this and then he goes I don't think so these guys are tied to the government and I'm like they're paying the government off that's
11:52 why and then he shows me this party like they're all like hanging out and I'm like they don't look like chilled dudes they all got guns and ████ everyone has ████ gold chains you so ████ naive dude but it's I mean like dude he's like 86. he's 87 he's still trying to like do ████ right and um his latest thing and this was actually cool he he created a non-profit organization helping Filipino nurses come to Japan and and um the issue was they weren't so Japan has this aging population and they basically need more uh medical staff and there's a ton in the Philippines but the problem is it's really hard for people to learn how to read and write Japanese so he created a program where they come and they learn how to read and write so they could pass
12:43 the nursing test and stuff like that and so he's always doing ████ like that but all of his ideas are so stupid except for that one and then he's always trying to pitch to me and saying I think it's a great investment that's his last every single time I think it's a great investment you'll do really well and I'm like I'm not paying 300 000 for some ████ fishing thing that shocks fish I like that he has like the nurse like Headhunter and then fish shocker than like the same Notepad [Music] thank you [Music]
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