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Are You Excited for Spiderman 'Brand New Day'?

#spider#angryhulk#peterparker#conanobrien#tobymaguire
the transcript auto-captions · entered into evidence

0:00 We just watched the trailer for Spider-Man brand new day. Bart, what did you say? >> How come MJ and Spider-Man don't know each other? >> [laughter] >> What's so funny, dude? >> Dude, how you didn't see the last Spider-Man movie? >> Isn't it Tyco obsessed with Spider-Man? >> I think he's on Toby Maguire still. >> No, I watched okay, the last one >> With Jake Gyllenhaal? Was that one? >> No, no, the one after that. The one with Toby Maguire in it actually. >> one with three Spider-Mans. [laughter] Okay, so Toby Maguire and then the emo Spider-Man all three of them in that one. Okay, watched that one. What happened again? >> [laughter] >> The end, the whole end. >> At the end, the whole end is that everybody has to forget that Peter Parker is Spider-Man. >> Yeah. >> Everybody forgets about Peter Parker. >> Is that the compromise or something? >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. To stop the world from ending. >> Oh, cuz it was the spinny sky thing.

0:50 Oh, okay, okay. He's just as lost as me, I have to say. >> I watched with that, so I don't have an excuse. >> Oh, okay. That's okay. You missed like a huge cultural event. Where like all the Spider-Mans came together. It was super sick. >> I watched the one before that one. >> Yeah, all three all three Spider-Mans came together, which is pretty sick. >> And people got emotional. >> I watched the second one. >> Okay. >> Yeah, but I didn't watch the third one. >> Yeah. >> When would that come out? >> That one came out like 5 years ago, I think. >> [laughter] >> Not five, not five, but That one that one was a huge one because that also marked uh the the true like uh new era of like where Marvel's meant to take everything. >> Yeah, cuz the story lines are crazy now. >> Yeah, and the converging of like all the universes, whether it be like Sony Sony's the biggest one obviously. Uh yeah, 21 20 20th Century Fox. Yeah, 20th Century Fox. Everything is converging now, so the universe I think here is

1:42 where is going to be the the truest start of it. That's the most exciting part. >> Well, I think that the cool thing as a Spidey as a Spidey fan, right? Like the Marvel movies never really showed Spider-Man suffering and like being poor and like broke ass ████ and ████ ████ like that. And like >> Getting cooked out. >> Yeah, and like because he's Spider-Man, he gets cocked all the time. >> Getting mugged by Flash, you know. >> Exactly. But now, they took all that ████ away from him. They took He's not an Avenger. He doesn't have cool hookups to Tony Stark and ████ So, he's on his own. And I think that's kind of the prime Spider-Man. >> And it's cool to see that he's like dealing with a problem now, like the whole mutating thing. So, you always see like him as like the squeaky clean kid, but now he's out of high school and he has extra demons he has to deal with. Looks pretty cool. >> The craziest thing is that uh this is on some nerd ████ but it's uh Marvel wasn't even allowed to use the word or words mutate, mutation,

2:33 mutating, or anything like that in any of their movies. >> Because of X-Men. >> BECAUSE OF X-MEN AND THAT DEAL. SO, they used that in the trailer. He's talking about mutation, which gives like hardcore fans the understanding that the clearance is there, which is also why there's speculation that Sadie Sink is the person who's playing Jean Grey as the >> What? >> Which which finally brings the most like uh canon or or new MCU canon like heroes together between X-Men versus like Cuz they're always missing, right? The Spider-Man, yeah. So, it's like they're saying Jean Grey's played by Sadie Sink in that. >> Maybe, but they also they also think that she's playing what who's called the Vanisher. >> Oh, I thought it was Spidey girl or something. >> But like she's doing the thing where like everybody freezes and only Xavier was able to do that. Like only like the high telekinesis mutants were able to do

3:24 that ████ >> My whole thing is I'm kind of disappointed by the trailer because >> What? That was sick. >> Because so like Sony spent all this time building up these great characters we all love, like Madame Web, Kraven. >> I don't see none of them in the trailer. >> people are. >> Don't forget, hey, you forgot Morbius. >> Yeah. >> Where the ████ is Jared Leto as Morbius? >> Who's Morbius? >> That's like a gay vampire. >> He's like a yeah, [laughter] homosexual vampire. >> Played by Jared Leto. >> That's probably the best way I going to explain it. >> Gay [laughter] vampires the best. >> Kraven, who's Kraven? He's a gay hunter guy. Madame Web, who she? She's like a >> You didn't like that trailer? I thought it was sick. >> No, I'm just making more of a joke about all the other bad sonics that came out. >> You know what I kind of don't like about it? That and this is just uh on some like maybe PTSD cop out ████ I think the

4:14 fact that they go to Bruce Banner uh like you know his [snorts] ████ thing goes off so that's a gamma suppressor. So now he turns into like angry Hulk, he's not in control and now he's fighting angry Hulk. Like that we just saw that with Captain America Winter Soldier. >> Yeah, angry Hulk's in every other movie. >> Yeah, Harrison Ford turning into angry Hulk so it's it's going to be it's going to feel uh slightly redundant or at least conceptually. Obviously they're going to do a great job I'm sure like turning it something. But you know we just feel like we're we're just fighting angry Hulk again. >> Uh >> Every movie they're fighting Hulk. >> My biggest issue with the end of the last movie and with them continuing this over is like let's say that I'm Steve Green but also I'm Spider-Man. And like all you guys forget that I'm Steve Green but I have the ultimate ████ hookup. I'm like hey guys guess what? You guys might not think I'm very interesting cuz I'm just Steve Green and nobody knows who I am anymore but I'm ████ Spider-Man actually and that's

5:05 instantly everybody's like oh well ████ who are you? I want to know who I want to know about you cuz you're ████ Spider-Man. So like Peter Parker not being linked to Spider-Man he could just fix that quickly just being like yo what's up I'm Spider-Man. >> But they don't even remember Peter Parker, right? >> Well that's what I'm saying you can reintroduce yourself so easily. >> No, but that was the premise in the first place that put him in that predicament. The fact that the people he cares about gets hurt because they know his identity. >> Yeah, fair. I get that. But I'm just saying like being emo about it when you're ████ Spider-Man is a little gay. >> Well that's the whole point though. This is the whole transcendent from like high school to college so he he has to be emo in order for him to finally grow up. >> And he loses the love of his life because of it. >> To save the world. >> He has to experience loss to become a man. >> Spider-Man. >> I mean she said to him at the end of the movie like, "Hey, come get me." But she's also kissing some Indian dude. >> Yeah, what the >> You don't want to see your chick kissing an Indian dude. >> Yeah, that's like worst case scenario.

5:56 >> I mean, it's a multi-year jump, I think. >> As as guys from the manosphere, are we cool with this cuck ████ >> Nah, he's getting cucked out, dude. >> What would Andrew Tate say if he saw this ████ trailer? [laughter] >> He's probably rolling in his grave right now. RIP. >> Well, let's say that's the whole point. We got to see him get cucked out. >> Not to be a hater, but Spider-Man's my worst superhero of all time. That's why I never watch his movies. >> Everybody loves Spider-Man though, cuz he's the most relatable, right? >> hate him so much. >> You hate Spider-Man? All of them? All of the Spider-Mans? Who's your favorite then? >> Why do you hate him so much? >> He's the gayest one. >> Why? Why? Cuz he he's a teenager? >> Cuz he's gay, yeah. >> His plot, his story, his He's just trying to be like Superman. >> But he's just failing. >> Like he's like the high school gay version. I I rather watch Smallville. You know what I mean? Like it's kind of like Man, you just >> I think Smallville was objectively more gay than Spider-Man's entire arc, but

6:46 >> Smallville is the most emo thing I've ever seen in my life. >> That's what I'm saying. It's gayer, but I'd rather watch that. >> Interesting. So >> than Spider-Man. >> Okay. >> Spider-Man's like I ████ hate him, dude. >> [laughter] >> He's gay. >> Spider-Man's not tall enough for you. >> Man, and he's like a ████ spoiled ass kid and ████ and is he? His parents are dead. His whole He's an orphan. >> [laughter] >> Dude, Aunt May was so ████ good to him. Like he's a little ████ Like I hate his ass. >> he was good to her. I don't think you saw the Spider-Man movies. >> [laughter] >> He's so nice to Aunt May all the time. >> He's like a good guy. He's a nice kid. >> You might be talking about Tony Stark. [laughter] >> He takes the trash out. >> I I like I like ████ I yeah, >> Yeah, I'm down with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but he's the spoiled one. Tony's the spoiled one. >> No, but he's >> Who's an ████ to everybody, yeah. >> Iron Man's got like a conflicted character. Like I think there's more

7:36 complexity. You could kind of feel like, "Oh, I get what this what this guy" It's like Wolverine. Like all these guys have like >> Dude, Iron Man was doing drone strikes in the first one. Yep. He was drone striking weddings in that first one. >> G A F, flip it backwards, dude. >> I think you just don't like teenagers. >> I hate teenagers. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Because his angst, his complexity is that he's a teenager and he is trying to find himself in the world and then be without his own decision he gets injected with these powers and he has to manage these powers. >> And if he doesn't help people, he see he's see he saw what happened to Uncle Ben. >> Yeah. >> So he knows he has to help people while balancing his life out. >> While while balancing those puberty hormones. >> Yeah. >> It's just a rip-off of Batman and Superman. >> It's a rip-off. [laughter] >> Put it into one. >> He's just trying to be Superman. That I literally don't understand. >> You will never be Superman.

8:26 >> [laughter] >> Superman's not even from this planet. >> No, I don't think he's trying to be Superman at all. >> No, no, no. >> I get you. >> Yeah. >> Red and blue. >> All the colors. >> Oh, ████ Yeah, you're right. >> And nylon, nylon. >> Nope. >> Not only that, ████ Superman has his alter ego that he could never really tell anybody. It's the same ████ >> Are you just a hater from on the internet right now? >> Don't they all have alter egos that they're not supposed to tell everybody? >> Yeah, but it's too it's too similar. Even Bruce Banner has one. >> He wears a mask. >> I don't like it when these trailers are are like, "You'll you'll you won't get away WITH THIS." >> [laughter] >> LIKE THOSE LIKE THOSE LINES. I'M LIKE, "BRO, can you get some better different writing or something?" Yeah. >> They've been saying that and they always lose. >> You'll never get [laughter] away with it. >> If it wasn't for you meddling kids.

9:18 >> Yeah, I'm like, "What the change that change the >> Now that you mentioned that we've seen Hulk smash in every movie and chase people in every movie, I can't unsee it. >> So unless unless they make this like angry Hulk like a different version, like a not like >> Well, they're saying it's grey Hulk. >> Yeah, so like not not a good guy that like does crazy stuff, but like I want to be scared of him. >> Hey, who's the real villain though? Did someone unleash the angry Hulk? >> They're not really being very vocal about who the villain is. >> Yeah, cuz they have the they have the soldiers, right? So, like it's like a invisible mystery real villain. >> Maybe the Vanisher. But, I mean obviously we know this has to set up Doomsday. Like this has to it's going to somehow be connected. >> Probably going to lose in this one. >> It's got to be connected. Like Doomsday's ████ controlling Jean Grey or whatever ████ you know. >> I think they need to just make Marvel movies where the hero loses at the end,

10:09 I think. >> Every time? >> Not every time, but they need to do more of that. >> Yeah. >> No, cuz Infinity War was the best with that. >> Yeah, cuz that was the that was the whole stake of it. It was like they died and you're like, what happens next? Like to me that was the best experience seeing a Marvel movie. So, I want to see Spider-Man get jacked up in this. >> I think you're going to see him get jacked up. I want to feel something. >> there. I might get cuz this might be movie one of eight or whatever. >> Yeah, and I like when they do that because they can kind of like tell better stories, I think. >> No, I mean he's Tom Holland already knows he's at the end of his Spider-Man like reign. >> Really? >> a good Spider-Man though. >> Well, he just finally got bumped the pay bump to 25 mil, so they're less likely they're less likely to bring him back. >> And he's all aging. They need a new Spider-Man. >> But, these movies probably do so much, right? >> No, I assume I assume they'll age him and I assume that in years to come they'll bring in Miles Morales as the

10:59 next like younger Spider-Man. Cuz I think they'll they'll figure out how to blend the universe between into the Spider-Verse and then the live action element. >> Did that movie come out? The Nicholas Cage Spider-Man? >> Yeah, no it's not a movie. Spider-Noir is a show. It's on Prime. >> Did you watch it? You like it? Was it good? >> I didn't watch it yet. I'm not going to lie, it like now that I watched the trailers on Prime, I'm like, eh. >> This looks like Conan O'Brien with Spider-Man. >> [laughter] >> Black and white Conan O'Brien. >> Sounds like something I could jerk off to. >> First of all, Conan O'Brien is the ████ >> I'd watch that. Nicholas Cage and Spider-Man, I'm down. >> I I kind of liked how different it was. I was like the style looks cool. I was like this is what they needed to do with some of these like TV shows like >> I got to try and watch it but I need to have time to watch TV in general so it's it's tough right now. >> We need an Asian Spider-Man. >> No, we don't. >> There's a Indian one. >> His face is going to be covered. We can't tell. >> There's the Indian one and it's >> What would the Asian Spider-Man be?

11:49 Mosquito guy? >> Woah, why is mosquito man a >> we were doing Spider-Man. >> [laughter] >> No, like I don't want to just make a spider cat. I want an Asian version >> I think Asian version >> Spider-Man >> Spider Tarantula guy >> New spider >> Have you guys seen Italian Spider-Man? >> Spider-Man >> Just this fat guy who smokes cigarettes and >> [laughter] >> Is it noodles coming out? >> Yeah, yeah, it's great. He rides a motorcycle. It's hilarious if you ever see those videos. >> That's so funny. >> [laughter] >> Dude, honestly Asian Spider-Man is really good. >> Spider-Man >> Where's he from? >> From Vietnam. >> Spider-Man Spider-Man man >> What would that look like though if it was a bug man? >> Oh, they would spin. >> [laughter] >> No, dude. >> That's if I wrote it. >> ████ >> Oh, sorry. >> The ████ rice noodles get stuck.

12:42 >> [laughter] >> People are like Cisco and Ebert, the most racist movie I've ever seen. >> It's made by all Asians too. It's like what the ████ >> Vietnamese Spider-Man, dude. >> It killed in Vietnam but it didn't do that well in the US. >> [laughter] >> I don't know why. >> It's pho man, dude. >> Pho man >> Aren't they noodles? >> What the pho man? [laughter] >> Stupid. >> Why is Nicholas Cage in it? He's doing a really bad Asian accent.

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