0:00 [Music] do any of you guys have dogs at home i have two i used to there's three of them they died what geez man all at the same time no one of them had a seizure other one were old wow all right man well you know when dogs go crazy when they get zoomies and they start running around yeah you put them out in the yard yeah and they just go yeah well um a lady was watching her dog do that and then the dog got really excited and and like jumped at her crashed into her and here she is on life support whoa she ████ cracked her head or something or from what from a dog zooming into her how fast it was a bull terrier okay so he's hefty he's a hefty guy it's a hefty yeah it's a big boy i it was running out at her and she didn't
0:50 think anything of it so she bent down and then the dog headbutted her in the jaw oh knocked her out uh it didn't even knock her out here's the thing she didn't even think anything of it what little did she know like the next day she kind of like a stiff neck she couldn't really swallow what the ████ going on turns out she goes to the hospital they check and they're like oh maybe you have an infection going on in here but actually she got these cracks in her molars oh my god which developed an abscess which infected and caused this whole thing to swell up and then they were afraid she wouldn't be able to breathe so they had to put her in life support while they drained the infection out whoa that's crazy within one day um within a couple days a few days yeah a few days because they were they were like
1:40 if her uh passages shut that's why the guys at the yulin dog fest was like that's why i eat them man this is their this is their go-to story you guys want to love them as pets you want to be on live support or what that's why you eat up don't ask questions that's how you eat them man can you believe that you only eat dangerous things so she's okay now like she ended up surviving everything but it's just off of that dude it's crazy how like well we hear stories of people taking out trash and then that ████ trash bag was leaking trash juice and they got something infected and now they got ████ gang green or some ████ and they got a dang green they gotta ████ cut their legs off or something you know what happened to the the guy who runs the midnight mission in downtown uh he got some like bum ████ on his leg and then he had to cut it off oh my god bump s███'s radioactive
2:31 bump ████ probably got like colvid 20 20. i mean literally like bum like fecal matter yeah oh i thought you meant like in a general like a bum touched him and he got gangrene i was like i believe that just a touch of bum yeah damn bugs are crazy like uh where jill's bomb lives there's like this alleyway right next to the house man the other day i went there there was a ████ boat there a ball i was like okay i call him jesus because there's this guy that looks like jesus hey jesus is gonna sell the seven seas i'm like what the ████ how did they get a boat there i don't know but they dragged the ████ boat into their pile of scraps was it a nice boat i liked it
3:24 it's like you see he's got expensive tapes like metal metal straps and ████ and then a ████ boat on a hitch too like it's ready to be someone dragged it on like a hitch or yeah you should you should you should went to the boat and said jesus hey how much is this dude that guy's crazy i don't want to talk to that's just so great i just imagined you starting a stand-up thing and going bam bubs is crazy i'll never smell some bump ████ before then right away and silver like boo they're like you and me i was walking down the alleyway of the house and then uh i was like i saw a pile of ████ ████ oh god it smells and then i walked like two more steps and then you smell pee and then i walked around and there was ████ throw up like the whole story was right there
4:15 the holy trinity the trail of tears yeah like ████ these guys can i show you guys a video of a bum outside my freaking studio yeah i like this recent yes it's like literally from this week i might have a video of the ████ boat too yeah this guy was taking a ████ on the other side of one of my uh roller doors [Laughter] oh yeah [Music] you just walked up and recorded them i like there's nothing i can do i like how you commented after you hit record record ah man so then i get the uh the cop cause like i'm right next to the district police office so i'm like hey guys some dude's trying to take a ████ can you like get him out of here he's not trying he's actively ████ him yeah so by the
5:05 time we by the time we walked back he'd already like shat like he had a sweater under his ass and he was like ████ in it so it looked like a ████ one of those uh it looked like a breakfast claw stacked up and then he was ████ the sweater yeah he ████ on his own sweater like a like a hammock did he leave it there yeah he made like a so then he's sitting in it and then the cops like hey bud can you get out of here there's nothing the cop can do yeah because obviously he doesn't want to touch him and then plus like they're kind of they got their hands tied when they're dealing with homeless people so he's like hey can you get out of here and then the guy takes his sweater that he just ████ in and he picks it up and he like david goliath swung it like a sling into the street and all the cars in front of him bro see look this is the ████ there's a ████ boat right there [Laughter]
5:55 why is there jesus cleaning up the ████ fake mess but he's just swirling the mess around that's a really nice boat how did that boat get there it's a sweet ass boat that's a pretty cool boat right it's a sweet boat i mean someone had to have a car or do you think they pushed the trailer they should sell it even on main street there's a guy living in a school bus yeah i passed that bus all the time on the way to barbell really honestly you guys need to move i i don't know how else to tell you guys i don't i don't want to be rude but you guys need to move man like there's there's nicer places out there like in orange county you know these problems just feels bad for you guys like in orange county it's so powerful that they moved all the homeless to one city which city santa ana oh oh really and it's really bad it's really bad but they they move them
6:45 to city hall so city hall if you have to go do any county business city hall it just smells like poop and pee the whole all all over city hall but like they were on the freeway like bordering the freeway they removed them they were going to send them to irvine irvine of course yeah right yeah and then how do they how do they get them to move i don't know that's insane okay in l.a right now they're like near the arts district i think right in l.a all of the above district so literally everywhere yeah everywhere when i was when i was in college in like the uh mid-90s um they were on spring street oh and then when they caucasianized i mean sorry gentrified the area they move them block by block and then they used to be all the way by spring they're all all in spring so back then when i lived in downtown l.a at 6 p.m no one was no one wasn't going on the street yeah
7:35 there's nowhere to go because there was a lot of homeless like right there on spring street but then yeah once they started building they just moved them block by block until my guess is if they move them far enough where they can still develop and to where no one's complaining so it's like skid row area yeah but now it's back they're just back everywhere everywhere yeah yeah it was because we have a bunch of imported homeless people yeah i heard a lot of people just come to la yeah yeah i would you know i remember when i was a little kid and i was like if i was homeless i don't want to stay here i'll scrounge up enough money and go to hawaii yeah that's what a lot of people do i think about that as well the thing that just makes it like it's hard for me to get to wrap my head around it's like there's people with jobs and like decent living that are barely hanging on here and they can't even bounce back like if i started from
8:27 homeless and i was and i picked la that's the hardest mode you're asking it's the hardest place to bounce back from that is the hardest like you have everything against you but the weather's not gonna kill you that's the best not like new york i think yeah like other states will ████ kill you because it's like yo that giant blizzards went through new york or whatever they had to like move into the subway because it's like yeah that's what doesn't make sense to me about the political programs that they put in place for them it's like really you're gonna help them get to what point exactly yeah because all of it's impossible and that's if they want help right that's right if they want a lot of them don't they like the freedom yeah but it's like dude like there's no point that you're like all right you're good to go on your own like absolutely not it's like how could you last like economically in la there's no way because you can't do low income housing they have rent control but you can't do low income housing in la because no one's going to sell their land to like low income housing or like
9:18 you know offer their land out oh yeah hey yeah put up a 50 000 condo here and all the low income housing is like a 10 15 year wait yeah you know so it's like it's almost damn near possible we knew a guy that was running for um um this campaign which is to clean up the homeless situation it's like everybody's like thing now yeah but he was uh he's also like an entertainment lawyer and all that he started digging into like why the homeless problem we spend billions of dollars trying to fix it it just gets worse where is it going and he found out that there's a huge network of corruption in the city there's so many people that benefit from keeping homeless homeless that he was like oh this is the problem and then so obviously he's going to get a lot of pushback he didn't win we actually funded a part of his campaign we wanted him to win because i'm like dude this is my city like i was born and
10:08 raised here i want this ████ to be cleaned up like i remember when i was a kid going to church like near downtown l.a on the way there there used to be just like a stereotypical homeless scene with the with the burning trash can and like cars on just ████ bricks and ████ and i was like damn that's nuts but then it doesn't have to be that way but it's just been that way and it's because the city itself benefits from homeless you know so like yeah he didn't win because everybody's much more powerful yeah because whenever whenever they go we're going to tackle this homeless problem we're going to build this facility all the budget goes to soft costs and it's like wait you guys spent 60 million on consultants before even breaking ground breaking all that bread with their friends yeah yeah like what the ████ did you guys do to this money and i think they have their homeless have their own like kind of crime syndicate too where they you know when they collect money and they pull it up
10:59 you know and they have their own underworld thing because i don't think i saw the documentary matrix they they have that whole um it's called zion right yeah yeah they have their own little syndicate no one's i think kanye is one of their by the way it's going there like jesus valenciaga came out with some homeless clothes too it's a whole fast that's homeless appropriation yeah honestly you
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