0:00 [Music] so remember back when you were underage and you were like let's say 15 to 17 high school age do you remember ever being attracted to an older woman oh all the time that's all i was attracted to like a real one like that was within your circle or like you talking about like beyond the threshold of like age appropriate like they're 23. yeah yeah like you were the young dude that you're underage and you were like i was trying to get molested by those hot girls oh like hot teachers like that sure hot teachers of course you had a hot teacher substitutes like attractive teachers she wasn't like smoking hot but i was like oh man if she wanted me detention every day i'd be down you're also not seeing your teacher's true potential that's true i i
0:51 had one hot as ████ teacher bruh that i was just like what was he like bro he was really nice had soft hands i did have one hot teacher though that she was a baddie yeah yeah now i remember i still remember because i was 18 like in the beginning of my senior year i didn't finish school but like in the beginning of it i turned 18 and she had uh i don't want to like say her name say her name no but we were in class once and i had started already getting tattoos right so i had a bunch of tattoos already and um i was sitting in the back and she was sitting back there and she was really cool and she was like oh you you got tattoos already and so i started showing her like my arms and like i had my feet done i had my side done already and she's like i was like you have any tattoos she's like yeah but they're in places i can't show you and smiles i was like let me just see real quick whoa
1:41 that's what you said yeah oh ████ was this in college high school in high school senior year and um i swear to god when i said let me see it real quick she was like and i was immediately hard as ████ i was like god damn bro i see videos like this bruh she was yeah did she show you nah she didn't show me but what a prude and she's patty we have each other on facebook every once in a while look she's still back does she end up showing you where it was no no what if it's like a hardcore butterfly on her ████ ████ like thighs and ████ but there were stories on her ████ that's the body part there were probably just like makeups but there was like stories that she had done stuff for like a playboy like pictures and stuff and it was like brought up and like i guess like two years before we even came to that school like made her cry she like walked out so like why
2:32 i don't know but she was hot as ████ when somebody made her cry because like these rumors started coming out that she was a playboy model remember that counselor at kepler yeah i know she misses matsuo or something like that matsuo she was pretty hot she was pretty bad i remember she would wear these slacks all the time and it would like hug her ass is it hot we need to go to your office and talk to get into trouble is it matsuo i don't know ████ her last name actually changed three times because i think she kept getting married she kept getting married dude hell yeah it was like it was like miss lay at one point miss matsuo at one point it would change like every other year because she's so hot you know i remember halloween too that teacher she dressed
3:22 up in this like little like cowgirl suit you're both going wow oh my god for real you think about staying in class all day teachers that do that you think they know what they're doing of course oh yeah of course with the ████ like adolescent children young adolescents that are like going through puberty yeah that you have to understand and in my head i was like i'm ████ 18. we can do this i don't give a ████ like we're not gonna get in trouble so sure oh my gosh nothing oh yeah that's right you are like already a major dude i never had any really like hot teachers man either teacher i had was mr davis and he was seven eight years old he's a guy and he his dr he was a physics teacher and he would write like word problems and his favorite thing would be like his dream car he would always say it was a green miata and he would put that in all of his like physics is that why it became your dream no that's why he had a meal that's why he wear green right now yeah yeah cases are i'm gonna
4:13 show you how to frame no that's not her enough oh that's ████ mature from ████ mark kevin that's not here pull up the picture of your teacher dog yeah pull up that other team she looked like she was hot enough to be like on the cover of import tuner yeah dang kelly who but she's wearing like business clothes every day business clothes i know lucy little lucy lou and we're like all the guys are like ryan did you have any that's her song hi lady lady miss song hi lee no i didn't have any of that growing up i think uh in seventh-day adventist school it's a little hard to come by yeah there's no teachers not really i mean now i think there might be because there's just like younger staff yeah but in the schools that i grew up in they were like people that have been teaching
5:03 since like the 60s yeah so they were probably hot back then yeah before prohibition i was so afraid of like authority figures at that age too i just wouldn't look people in the eye i'd be like i was like nervous all the time they did not make it submissive i was probably naturally very submissive oh you know what you know what our school do you remember that uh that black teacher i forgot her name but then she taught keyboards i i forgot a computer teacher right yeah i think so so she did yeah she got kicked out i didn't know that but what i do know that is my friend so you know she lived next to the school her house was right there so um and then i think she had kids she's really young right no she was she she wasn't young but anyways um
5:54 we're saying this because we went to the same junior high or or high school she was a junior high teacher one of my friends um so it also was a private school christian school so the teachers had a closer relationship with the students and then so they would go over to her house to play or whatever and then um something happened where it was like oh can i get this thing and she goes yeah sure it's in my room just go ahead it's in the drawer go up in this and then so he looked in and he found a dildo oh not of god but then he told us is it cross-shaped though oh yeah so so so he was like he was just like yeah uh that he told us this whole dildo story and back then i was just mind blown that someone that is a teacher of god would have a sex toy and
6:44 especially because in my head i thought older women were just like not sexual oh yeah yeah i just thought they didn't we believed all the stigmas wait she kept it in her ████ in her school office and he said he was like shocked you guys ever seen but then he like obviously closed it and he's like oh i can't find it you ever seen that vine remember when vine was a huge thing and there's that old lady my old grandma she's like sitting on a bed you know what i'm talking about and she starts singing that one song i live with the monster that's under my and then she pulls out the biggest dildo this is your mom for a teacher that's banging dude dude her let me see it's
7:51 doesn't even matter dude i'd be ████ doing poetry in her class writing love letters she's hot i'll be failing all my classes on purpose yeah show that but just take a word for it yeah we don't want to dox nobody hair dachshund yeah that's real and she looked young too yeah this well that was that was two months ago that picture you're friends with her on facebook yeah two months ago damn then what year was it that you like had her in school uh 2012. oh wow she looked like she was 19. wait so what's the point of asking us about that that's just the point we have oh i thought you were going to tell us some news about like no this is not an article this is just this is awesome i wanted to know if you guys ever had those situations where you were the underage one trying to go after the overage one this is well i mean i've said before like i
8:42 always try to put myself in situations yeah how would you do that get like um taken advantage of because like seriously like you're jail beating yourself it was jailbaiting myself putting yourself out there i had this heightened sense of confidence where i thought like if i just had really good like flirting game right like i could get girls like older than me and i've achieved it one time when i was 19 i got 23 year old but that's still like not that different that's a big deal high school or it started in like junior high because i always thought girls older than me were like they look better um they're more developed they're more cooler whatever they could go out so then like i'm like i don't ████ date girls my age like i want ████ high school girls obviously they just thought it was cute that like i'm like trying my best to ████ flirt with them and ████ and then they don't take
9:32 me seriously in my head i think that oh they're like into me like you know that stupid young confidence right yeah and then come like maybe freshman year um i meet this girl online and she's in her 20s but we bond over hip hop and weed right good combo i'm probably thinking that i'm flirting but in my head i'm just having great conversations and i'm friending the hell out of her today's video is brought to you by master works do you think jeff bezel has an i style ape jpeg hell no a guy's way smarter than that plus nfts are old news bezos is all about diversifying now makes sense the world lost 13 trillion dollars worth of stock in the first half of the year and let's not even talk about crypto that's why we
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11:13 over 500 000 users has signed up for masterworks but you jk fam you can skip the line by going to masterworks dot art slash record again that's masterworks dot art slash record see important regulations and disclosures at masterworks.com cd so at this age i'm like 14 years old she i know she has a boyfriend she knows you're 14. she knows i'm 14. tired she's like 22 or something like that 22 and a 14 year old any and then her boyfriend's like 20 23 or whatever you got a game dude so like that's pretty good just to have a deep voice so like so like what's up i love hip hop and weed and i met her online completely it's all online right i was 13 last year i was 13 last year
12:03 fyi full transparency i was just 13. stupid and people are like you don't say oh ████ that's crazy so back then like you just meet people ████ in chat rooms and you just hang and whatever i've dude there's so many times i could've gotten ████ up ████ like i've been to raves with strangers concerts oh yeah i've been yeah like and it would be like ████ dudes that i make friends with that are like 19 years old and they pick me up and ████ so a lot of things could have happened as a ████ vulnerable 14 year old boy so like she showed me like that so we become friends this is me thinking like yeah she got a boyfriend but that don't mean nothing you know ████ stupid right that's what like lots of r b artists taught us yeah yeah yeah for real so she invites me to like
12:56 just ████ go and blaze with her crash whatever we're hanging out it's group of friends right they come pick me up it's her couple of her boyfriend's friend um and then um she lives right by little osaka or saltel so i i like that area so you know she's gonna take me out and go ████ get some food out there we go to the airport where her boyfriend works at he's a pretty boy mexican dude right he's working at like a subway there he intro she introduces me to him he's cool whatever and it's like yo after work let's let's let it get stoned and ████ and i'm like all right cool and then um you know we go to we go to little osaka we go eat and then we go to our apartment we're hanging out he comes back home from work we're like blazing we're watching like a horror flick all this stuff
13:46 and in my head i'm thinking i might lose my virginity tonight to her oh yeah like a ████ idiot to one of them i'm 14 years old she's with a boyfriend they're together and in my head i'm still thinking i'm getting lucky tonight she was going to ditch him dude no were you providing the weed i had some weed they had some weed like we all just kind of just blazing all night right this joke it always has weed bro we were ████ laughing all night you know his friends are cool like half of them didn't even speak any english it was just all spanish but it was like a room full of asian mexicans just like smoking and like having a good time oh yeah one by one people start like trade relations bro and i'm just like oh ████ what time is it and i'm like oh ████ this is probably like too damn late to go home right now and then i'm way too
14:38 ████ high so like um she's like yeah you could just crash here and i'm like oh hell yeah it's happening and then she busts out like this ████ soda you know that soda with the with the bead yeah the rum yeah and then she goes joey she calls me joey she goes joey i got a soda for you and at that moment i realized that some fruit snacks i'm her cute little brother i've got some tang and rice krispies and joe's like yeah i am her ████ little brother and then she went in the room and ████ the ████ out of her boyfriend and i'm sitting here on the couch with a ████ juice and i'm just sitting here high as ████ and i'm like i didn't get ████ tonight mind you i'm still a virgin and i'm ████ stupid as ████ looking back just going he's like this soda do hit though and we ate all night had snacks and ████
15:29 yeah the bad bunches and then ████ i woke up high i was i still want to ████ hi i'm just like ████ i gotta get home my mom's probably worried about me so she takes me back hope and after that we just become hella close she becomes like a true uh like sister that i always like needed i think what it was is like interesting there was a she was she was basically alone from um like out of state or something so she had no family oh okay we're both japanese right her boyfriend's mexican all that stuff and then i think it became like this weird relationship of like we both were like lonely and wanted family this is right around the companionship when my dad split my mom was depressed and she was just ████ home like but in her own room not talking to anybody so then i think
16:19 she was kind of being that guidance she saw something and it ended up like yo she didn't we didn't ████ but in return i got a really cool bigger sister that's a really nice outcome of them yeah yeah that's a great story really good you didn't ████ your big sister i know right no but she was way older than where where is she now i have no idea like somewhere in that process like you know being a 14 year old like kid just drugged out all the time doing graffiti jumping around from house to house like you don't really think and maintain relationships well that's true so like somewhere in that process i probably found another set of friends who i was able to just get stoned with and then so things just kind of moved into that true yeah dude you gotta try to find her that would be so ████ cool yeah what if that was her
17:09 wouldn't that be ████ hilarious you gotta find her you gotta be like hey just wanna let you know that first time we met i thought we were gonna have sex she was like yeah i know you were ████ pitching a tent the whole time that's why i gave you a soda pop to cool you off a little bit the ████ that a 14 year old thinks about no dude to be fair you were high i mean if you've never done it before you don't know when you're about i don't know yeah i don't know when it's yeah and you're high yeah like remember how long we took condoms with us like even though there was no problem oh yeah just leave it in your wallet it's all melty i've never used any of those you pulled it out it's like it's been in there so long that like the shape of the ring is like fully pulling off the ink of like the rapper that's a joke that's been in teen
17:59 movies since the 50s yeah that someone keeps a condom for way too long and it still resonates today you really don't know and you think that it's gonna spring on i still got the same condom from high school you know in my wallet just in case no you just think you never know for some reason i believe you yeah and you were smart to believe me dude yeah and those things get so dried out when you keep them too long oh my my not my dude not mine oh yours was built to blast built to last dude that's the name of the brand actually [Laughter] it's dura last condoms they make a good condo bro they make a great condo that's a wild story man it is it's a really like wholesome ending i know right you know i didn't know i was sitting in a room full of losers that never got to have sex with their older teachers dude
18:49 kind of bummed out none of you guys had sex with your teachers i thought i was sitting here with a bunch of sexual mavericks we really i think the youngest teacher that even remotely could be categorizes that in my high school was the one that i told you got in trouble she was like the mavis beacon teacher or whatever that the mavis beacon yeah it's like a keyboard program teach you how to type and then she she ended up like uh i guess like committing adultery where like she had slept with a pastor of a church that was uh that she was not married to so they they fired her whoa yeah because you can't do that wow that's some christian school ████ yeah i asked out one of my teachers in community college that's interesting so i was 19 and then i was taking stats at elac and she looks like um you know the chick that john cho ends up kissing in harold
19:41 and kumar at the end in the elevator yep the hispanic girl yeah she looks like like her oh yeah she was pretty high so i remember so i remember in class i was like oh ████ she's super wait paula garcia's that girl she is a daddy yeah ████ she's everyone's crush and then uh so i was just i was doing like pretty good in class and then the marine corps ball came around yeah it looks like her yeah the marine corps ball is like a like a banquet or like a big like it's a marine corps birthday and across the world it's like a big like almost like our prompt and so every unit will have like like a craps tables it's just a fun time so i emailed her i'm like hey the marine corps ball is coming up this week i would like you to be my date and then i remember she replies back this is inappropriate
20:33 and then and then i wrote back and she was like this is inappropriate i'm your teacher and then i wrote back like a dumb ass because then now my little eagle got hurt i was like pretty much i wrote something to the effect of like news flash some of your students are older than you but i didn't say like in that news flash and then in that class every single time i missed it uh i missed class to have like drill which is when you have to go train in the military there was a quiz that the next coming monday and i'm like what the ████ this is way too oh no way coincidental now and so i think she like uh what should i try to punish you i think so really yeah yeah yeah yeah you know where you ████ up she's so cute it's because you ████ emailed it and you'd have the boss to ask her and face them that's
21:23 what she meant but you know what because if you email it then there's record yeah there's a paper trail and she has to force like she has to be like nah she was really like amateur but if you asked her like verbally then you know she at least would give you like hand job if she said no 100 paula garcia's man i saw um my piano teacher was pretty hot in in um in uh the commercial i mean the community college we went to and then um i remember this uh this one kid he ████ like studied japanese so he could write um miss whatever whatever is so hot or like so pretty and then she was like hey come in let me talk to you everyone's like ooh that's the best i don't know what she said classic school i have no idea what she said but his face was just like this
22:13 the whole time i don't know what the ████ got rejected around after that she just like sucked them off she looked at the dick was like [Laughter] that would ████ hurt man that hurt my feelings right now why'd you do that i'm sorry you knew that wasn't hurt my feelings dude let me see your dick nah dude you're gonna laugh at it that's what i'm still yeah but she was hot though she's like if you are docile and you look like i scold you really hard for the rest of the school year i will ████ you right now and he's like dude
23:04 you
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