0:00 all right what would you do with me what would you do first we'll leave the top yeah leave this definitely leave the top and then we'll skin fade just the sides and touch that's it out here then we'll water it comb it down maybe shoot it with some brown paint right [Music] here I know not everybody here can possibly be perfect so what's something uh oh pass me bro damn I stand correct okay everybody's perfect everyone except Joe maybe this was when you were a kid but like what's what's the time that you lied about something and you dug yourself into a really bad hole oh dude where you where you have to keep lying to try to save yourself and then you were just like ████ that's really good H I can't remember cuz you know like that's you do that once really badly and you realize how stupid it is to like lie
0:52 like that again oh this is really ████ okay so I was as 1996 I was 11 years old Batman Forever came out and I remember I was a little embarrassed that I wanted to be Batman for Halloween because like I was going maybe getting too old for that cuz Batman wasn't that cool yet so I remember during um Halloween I convinced all my friends that I was my cousin Frankie who like lived like around the block basically and I went as Batman and then I went into my house and changed changed into like a vampire costume and then went around and made sure all my friends saw me so they knew I went as a vampire but I really went as Batman so you Mrs doubt fired yourself I
1:43 miss doubt fired my own Halloween because I didn't want to seem lame at 11 years old because I was basically the leader of my own little neighborhood because all the kids were younger than me so you made sure you were a vampire I made sure I was a it was a visible vampire that they all saw but but but when I enjoyed trick-or treating it was as Batman and I didn't trick or treat as the vampire I just went to all my friends houses and that was it and I also went to miss Franny's house she was like this 90-year-old woman who lives next to us she gave quarters so I was like I'll double dip on the quarters I went home she didn't know the that would be funny if somebody caught you like hey you're Steve and then you're like no I'm Batman so when I was Batman one of my friends named Stanley Wong he's like are you Steve and I was like I'm Frankie and he bought it are you guys the same size or something how did he uh no but kids are dumb yeah when you're
2:33 wearing a Batman mask yeah you know that that'll do it and I did the eyes you know oh you the raccoon eyes I did the raccoon he said are you Steve I'm Frankie well cuz I was walking around with my brother Nate oh so it didn't really make Frankie but no no but it also it's like probably Steve what if Frankie was a vampire why isn't vampire Steve with Nate it doesn't really make sense my ire Steve is just gone he just wasn't there yet Batman Steve is now here yeah Frankie is there or whatever pretty stupid but yeah you could double dip with the candy though and I never admitted that lie ever you never told him never no the whole time he thinks you're Frank isn't that guy like one of your closest childhood friends that St yeah was one of my buddies so he just thinks that it wasn't you I haven't talked to him in forever but I mean I think you thought I was Frankie it's pretty good that's a good one stupid was in the fourth grade and
3:25 one of my friends he was a he was lvan he was from lvia his mom was from lvia and like I would curse a lot cuz I would hear from my like older friends or like my my sisters and my mom and I thought it was so cool to say like ████ and ████ and you know all that stuff right so I had a bad mouth I'd be cursing around and then one day um her name was lomma that was the mom that was the mom LMA came to my mom and was like hey your son your son has a bad mouth he's teaching my son how to curse how to say all these words I caught him the other day saying ████ and he said he learned her from your son blah blah blah blah and I'm like my mom gets mad at me you're on to drive home I I remember it I'm in the ████ back of the wind star and I see my mom's eyes in the review mirror and she's just yelling at me like you ████ are cussing you can't be doing this W and I was like Mom I didn't I
4:17 swear I wasn't I was D doing that kid ████ right yeah and so she she kind of believed me but she she knew that like I think she had an idea that I was cursing and ████ the next time this girl named Emily Han I I remember I remember this she she came and her mom came to my mom like months later and was like your son called my daughter a ████ ████ and I swear bro I really don't remember saying that believe all women because I remember I I didn't have a problem with her you know there's no like reason why you could what if he was a potty mouth because of what his mom and dad was saying in the house no absolutely like I learned it from them absolutely dude you should have told that to your mom instead of lying you should have been and she's like cussing you I like Nick how could you ████ do this and it's like I learned it from you Mom yeah and
5:07 come on but this whole you would have got ████ up if got ████ up no dude the whole time she was like well you were telling me that you weren't curing blah blah blah blah and then this time this girl is saying that I'm calling her word for word a ████ ████ and I'm like no no no no I swear to God I swear to God I didn't do none of that but turns out that like she she beat the ████ out of me after beat the bre off I got so much trouble so the second time it really wasn't you it really wasn't me but the first time it was the first time it was why did the girl think it was you oh that sucks I don't know I well it could be it could definitely be that right but like I remember at my hearts of Hearts I was like no like this time I really did this time like I really wasn't I didn't call her last time okay I confess last
5:57 time that was me I confessed but this time it wasn't me dude but that makes it not want to believe you even more yeah and I just knew that like oh dude I'm ████ like I Karma snuck up on you bro like I shouldn't have used my my my crying technique to get out of it but what the hell this girl just randomly decided to say that D maybe she like I don't know I still think about that to this day I'm like man dude maybe you said it in a positive way and she just took it wrong hey you're ████ ████ good for you no I I wasn't smart enough to call I don't worry about that cuz karma is like cat sitting on my lap cuz it loves me Karma's not a chameleon no no no you guys don't know Taylor Swift in here that's fine I'm up on the culture and you guys I only know JoJo dude I used to ditch church and like lie to my parents like they're like did you go to church I'm like yes and then but would never go
6:48 bad guy you're going to hell huh is it easy to lie about that yeah well cuz I would show up how would you get there though as a kid so so we would go as a family right but then me and my friends be like oh we're going to go to the bathroom and then we just leave and then we but we would be already sitting where do you go no cuz my cuz it's a it's like a small church and my parents would sit in the front and sing or whatever so the kids would just sit where the kids sit but then we would just leave and then we just go your parents didn't turn around dance practice huh no dude they're like they're zoned they're probably like thank God I have some breaks with my ████ dumbass kids I can do whatever the no but then even that so that lie right it started then when I was little but then later on when I started moving out and doing my own thing I still kept lying to them that I was going cuz they
7:38 would be like oh did you go this Sunday I'm like yeah I did blah blah blah blah and then later on I start to feel bad so I eventually one day she asked like I can't bang it anymore she asked me he's like hey are you going to church and then eventually I was like no I'm not and then she's like have you been going I'm like no then I it felt bad but really there was no like she already knew she already knew I feel like she knew but at the same time she didn't do anything about it either church people talk to church people cuz they know they know it's like well I don't want to force you to go so I'm like oh you're really reasonable I want to go to church but I like people outside of church there you go I don't like them ins they're weird when they and then sometimes you get to know someone too much and you're like I ████ hate you yeah but dude I remember like lying about that so many
8:28 times and then it many it's a big lie I can't I can't count cuz there's every week you know like I just pretended to not to not be Batman yeah you're kind of ████ up you're lying to the Lord you might go to hell for that yeah you're liying to the Lord and your mom you're lying about God I think I had about 15 to like I don't know my 20s what that many times Jesus damn you're not going to heaven for she's not asking me every time but like when she does ask me I'm like nah oo that's 5 years a ly you're not going to heaven you're not Karma dude my lies were like 2 and 1/2 hours max that's pretty bad that's really bad super bad the only lie was the only lie was me saying I can cut hair when I first started cutting my first haircut was a black dude uh and you're just like I never ████ C hair like this he just like yo
9:20 I'm ready and I I looked at the clips and I was like what are these clips for I threw it away and I was just like here we go and B right there first haircut ever bald and I was like hey bro this is going to look great on you you're going to look just like your dad and he was like really cuz his dad was bald as hell what's up guys if you do not know we have a patreon I want you to click in our description and go over there and check out all the beautiful stuff we have for you it's super duper access for only our super duper exclusive lovers like yourselves you're going to be getting one never been Rel relased director's Cup every week but not only that you get another fresh too hot for YouTube video we say some crazy ████ on
10:11 there two videos a week but not only that you get to join our Discord and come chat with us direct access we're in there the whole careful Boys in there jumping in dog piling on people laughing playing joking whatever and you can come talk to us directly so if you like what we do and what we've been doing for the past 10 years please support our patreon and click the link below to get all the details there's so many different tiers you can see it when you click that so while I was cutting it I was like so you just gave them a bald haircut you didn't fade them just nothing just skin fade and I was like my bad dog and he was just like why and I was like you're going to look great just like your dad he like that's cool but he was like wait my dad's bald I was like exactly sorry buddy and he that was like the biggest you didn't check in with him first huh you didn't go like hey what kind of
11:01 haircut you no I didn't know what the guard was meant to do wa so he never even used a ████ Clipper you didn't want to practice and he just went yeah no mine was hyped I hyped him up I said dude I can totally fade you up this is easy so the whole day I was hyping him up finally he came to my house and it was just first thing I first thing I touched was the forehead it was shaved off clean he started with the most irreparable section I was like what did he said was he pissed or what he was just like dude my mom's going to kill me and I was like too bad bro it's too late we can't let you go like this I was like do you want a mohawk at least he's like how you C me right in the middle and it's an inverse mwk you a really thin Mohawk yo but shout out to Isaiah Korean black man Korean black uh thanks to you
11:51 I'm here now hey did the when you did your the first chick you ever did the haircut for are you like don't worry about it I'm going to make you look like your dad no I cut my uh my friend's mom's hair before and you made her look like her dad yo I made her look like her son I made her look like her son fresh fade sides were faded and the top was just mad son like yo my bad dud yo if all you butch lesbians want to come out here and look like your dad subin's hair salon no shout out to them though cuz now I can really Fade up how long did you cut hair for it's now it's been 10 years you still cut hair yeah hell yeah no way yeah are you better um have you gotten better at doing both man and female I don't do females anymore after that mess up she she's like she's like
12:42 wow you made me look like my son I was like yo my bad dog you made me look like my son all right what would you do with me what would you do first we'll leave the top yeah leave this definitely leave the top and then we'll skin fade just the sides and T that's ites out here then we'll water it com it down Y and that's it maybe shoot it with some brown paint right here all right give it like a put some kinger Bag noodles on it [Music] yeah bag noodles K bang bang bang noodles if you're vegan that's okay that b noodles add chicken over nugget M flavorful M flavorful M flavorful is always bringing heat flavorful if you're vegan that's okay
13:34 noodles chicken or M [Music] flavorful Matt paint right Matt why we buy two then well let's just give that two p no no no cuz I'm not I'm not a quitter I'm not a quitter I'm not giving up that's right baby not till it's over baby that's right we fight our we fight till the end down Z we fight till the end you know wearing a hat is actually worse makes you your hair I hear that but I I don't mind I actually like the way that a hat feels because I'm coping no if you're going to wear a trucker hat wear it backwards so it's nice air oh yeah great great idea dude let me see it oh yeah that looks great oh yeah looks sick dude it got a ████ toughed hair coming out of this thing right here now you look like awesome dude now you look like you should wear roller blades yeah dude wait you know what I'll sck it up I'll be a fura no
14:24 that looks great dude this image right now is hella funny I think that looks fine like that yeah it does give you a different look completely what frat is this dude hey does anybody want to buy crypto with me that was great I look like I look like the guy went from the after school special who you should not listen to you're going to sell me drugs hey guys I bought crypto and with Steve and then it's like yeah I learned a big lesson no it look great bro all right leave it whatever I'll buy crypto with you let's ████ go dude well you already do so that's backwards you don't look as cool as Steve no cuz he doesn't I mean a s███████ of hair dude you look like a poser he looks like a a real deal I told you about how I lied about like my algebra classes right nope so after I got after I got kicked out of algebra in high school remember like my teacher kicked me out because I was talking ████ about algebra so they wouldn't let me
15:15 take uh algebra at San Gabriel Academy anymore I had to go to summer school at Don Bosco Tech and then uh I would go there in the summer it was all boy school so it was super easy to bully everybody and I forced these kids to like uh let me cheat off them every single day even even during tests I would make them like lean like this and then to show me their graphs I would sit right behind them and I copied I got my way through uh two uh I got through Algebra 1 and then I got through geometry all cheating wow and I kept telling my parents I was doing a really good job and then they were like wow yeah you're finally like getting it I didn't understand one lick of math from either of those subjects do you know yeah but then I went but then after I uh graduated I tested in uh you know when you go to college you have to test into math and I tested into like pre-algebra and they were like what the ████ happened there and then I had to do it
16:05 all over again and then I didn't actually learn real Sol for what I had to take three levels of math to get to the level I should have been in I remember in college I changed my major so I didn't have to take calculus I changed that ████ cuz I I I didn't have the math to get into pre to pre-cal and I was like dude I'm not going to learn this I had to do stats I think for the math I was in or the the for what I wanted to do to get into UCI I just had to get as highest stats um but I didn't have to do pre-cal dude I did pre-cal I got a see but I don't understand anything I just barely passed like literally everything was foreign to me I never paid attention they lying to everybody just like lying to everybody it does bite you in the ass to cheat in school until you're when you're not out of it yet yeah like cheating on your last year to get out
16:55 makes sense but not to enter another school no oh cuz like you're screwing yourself over so bad yeah D I fail in grammar so bad in grammar every grammar what's every grammar you fail in grammar today yeah I know grammar class grammar everything oh just anything to do with like English and and anything with English what about speech did you do okay speech popcorn speeches holy crap I was stuttering it's nerve racket what was your best subject in school then math really math oh that's good I was the opposite I started with a Matic in college that's what I tested into and then um English 101 damn I didn't understand the adverb noun verb I still don't I don't know how I got in there oh I also lied about uh another hole I got into was in high school when I used to I
17:45 was one of the only guys with like internet and a printer like it was very early like internet so you printed out porn yeah I print out porn for people oh yeah and then how did I know dude it was either the CD burner or the page like selling a page of tit yeah or like floppy disc show vene in in black and white right and I used to print out I used to make collages for people of like of course you made it cre like porn collages did you do it on Photoshop or yeah there was something else back then that you could do that way Ms paint yeah it was something it wasn't paint it was something similar it but you could like make collages of images and then I would print those for people and they put them in their binders on the plastic front part you know where you could like have like a graphic or something and then we got caught because uh we got caught for having the S Le photos oh yeah and I had a whole like like 10
18:35 of them stapled together or some ████ and then stap huh and then my freaking idiot friend got caught it's always someone getting caught and then like he got interrogated to the point where he said he got it from me and I was like rat ████ so then I had to go into the principal's office Remember The Departed yeah rat ████ and I just like kept trying to make up as much ████ as I could to like EX exhaust the principal so he would stop asking and he just kept saying like but this looks like you brought it from home and I'm like no I my lie was that here was my how ridiculous my story is I said that I found that at school and I had nothing to do with it and he said where did you find it and I said well I went to go get a drink at the wound and there it was lit dude that could be a I would have believed it and he thought it was so ridiculous like how stupid my lie was
19:25 he's like I don't have the energy for this he's like just stop doing it I was like okay sir okay I'm sorry and it took I was just like just don't tell my parents please yeah it took so long I remember taking like over an hour of him just like at like he just kept saying like and then where did you find that and I'm like oh here and then where did that come from like it just took so long show me that link show me that link show me that boob your sources yeah how'd you get Pam sucking a penis damn you show it to me right now I've never seen these shots before I don't have internet I don't have printer yeah I was literally trying to like I said all the ████ that I could think of and it was just like what if you just wanted all the links so you could jack to it later that's what I mean he can you get me more he did keep it that's what he meant he was like where did you find this like yeah yeah that's what he's trying to ask
20:16 be he's like you're not catching what I'm saying Bud yeah and then he starts sliding you dollar bills where did you find it these are private shots of Pamela Anderson how did you get this I think kids lying to adults like you think you're being so clever and you think you're like you think you're nailing it and they're just like I'm so tired dude yeah come on man that's crazy yeah luckily I didn't I don't know why he didn't tell my parents but that was like a close one cuz he kept the evidence yeah for sure he did cuz he wanted to look for the gold himself he's like how do he get this stuff he's like this is the sauce yeah being the porn guy was was pretty fun it pretty fun it a good gig cuz back in the day we had all the girls gone wild videos on disc too damn like remember those were like really I never I have to admit I never watched any girls going wild oh man do they really just flash their tits and
21:06 that's the whole thing no it's it's pry better it's great well it's great thinking that like back then I think like that was at most people's first uh experience with like I guess porn that seemed like it was really happening in the real world right like on location and that and and then we didn't know at the time that a lot of these girls were just like drunk and signing whatever you know oh yeah yeah yeah the whole case yeah it was like not good wow I just thought it was like wow this is partying in the real world I can't wait till I'm like in college yeah yeah yeah cars just suck your dick at a party out in the open in front of everybody doesn't happen like that what is that kind of what we're talking about I get closer still try to get the am I am I in the neighborhood of a
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