0:00 I'm je I'm jealous of uh Kim Jong-un. That's a good one. That's not how you spell Boba time. [Music] Welcome back to Careful Boys. Today we're talking about things we get hella jealous about. Height. Yeah, I get it. So mad already. I get it. Hey, I was at a Costco the other day. I was at a Costco. I actually saw a guy who's taller than me. I couldn't believe it. How did it make by what? like an inch. No, I think he played for the Raiders or something. He was a huge guy. Stupid. No, seriously. Cuz cuz like so a guy taller than you could couldn't possibly be a regular guy. No, I'm telling you, he's an Africanamean looking fella. And I thought for sure he played for for the Raiders for sure. I like how when there's a tall black dude, everyone goes, "You play sports." That's the That's the meme. Exactly.
0:51 That's the meme. It is true though. They probably play sports. Probably does. Yeah. I'm jealous of people that uh have really really cool cars cuz one I can't afford them and two I just don't know enough about them but they're so cool to me. Your car is cool. Yeah, the Tesla. I mean it used to be. It used to be the two when Elon wasn't so controversial. Now you're driving a Nazi mobile. Yeah. Yeah. Guess I walked into that one, didn't I? I'm jealous of people with cool cars that have really modern engines in them. Oh, the rest of mods, man. Yeah, for sure. Those are so freaking dope. But those are like expensive, huh? That's why it's so jealousy. They're very expensive. Yeah, I'm jealous. Or is that envy? I'm I'm jealous because it's like they they have the reliability of like a now car but like all the style of like old. Even those like vintage Bronco fixups are like so cool. I'm jealous of guys with
1:43 really big trucks. Like obnoxiously big truck. Yeah. Because I would never get one. They think by the way they they know you're jealous. Yeah. And they they Yeah. the lug nuts on the back. They're showing me I'm jealous for sure cuz part of me is like I want to drive one of those things just for fun. But I can never bring myself to it cuz just you're it's too obnoxious. I think I'm jealous of successful and alive dance studios today. Like the ones that just exist. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like they bought the dip when they opened after co. Oh yikes. It's like we bought high and then boom crash. Or or you bought an actual studio that closed during co Yeah, like ours when they bought ours. Wait, who bought yours? ████ I don't know. No, but then it was a dance studio. Oh, when Dude, I did have ways. Remember in Monterey Park when another like kind of like it was a different uh community or culture of dance, but like that dance
2:34 studio, they somebody else moved in and did a dance studio. Yeah, the ballroom studio. Yeah, ballroom studio. And I thought to myself, no, I was just thinking of ML. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, that one's tough. That's within That's within the Do you guys sit in a jab walking show in Vegas and just be like ████ just steaming the whole time? Like ████ Totally. I'm just like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like about to have a heart attack. That's why I've gone there like nine times. I've seen their show like nine times. Every single time I'm scheming sche steal your moves. I'm je I'm jealous of uh Kim Jong-un. That's a good one. That's not how you spell Boba time. He's like Kim Jong-un, we're the same age and he has a country. Can you imagine having a country right now? Country though. Any country? Any of them. Yeah, right. Any country. What if they just gave you
3:25 Haiti? No, but Haiti is kind of cool. Um, without the hurricanes. If the Hurricanes wasn't around, that'd be cool. It's a beautiful country. Aren't they eating people right now? How is it a beautiful country? It looks cuz it's on the beach. Do you want his childhood? Yeah, he went to Disneyland with his dad. He went to Disneyland with his dad. But doesn't that give you like different problems to have to deal with highlight of his childhood? He probably has a way healthier relationship with his dad than I do. I sure do. You want you want to take on the the hardships of having a country. Well, cuz you have to solve their problems. He got to meet Dennis Ramen and hang with them and like, dude, recently Putin came over and then he gave him a dog and then they both got to ride in Putin's new like Bentley and ████ Yeah, Joe, you have the luxury of taking on the responsibility of like this business and it's not exactly growing right now. You get to be on this show cuz you guys are on it holding me
4:16 back, bro. That's true. That's true. You don't think You don't think he'd be jealous of you that you get to be on JK News and and most of the time you don't even have to look up. He's getting teeth in me. I bet part of Kim Jong-un is jealous of you. I bet. I think Kim Jong-un would be jealous of you, dude. Yeah, for sure. He watches cuz grass is always greener. He's our one viewer from North Korea. Kim Jong-un is probably like, "Dude, I would love to run a matcha shop. I would do these concepts. I would do that." I bet part of it. I'll do I'll do life swap with them anyway. Do you think if Do you think when he's making boba if he drops a drink, he just like shoots the guy next to him? Like like it's their fault. Oh, he dropped the drink again. Did you hear the theory that he watches JK News? What? So we can't Yeah, there's an IP address from North Korea who's watching this and who would be the only guy one IP address but
5:07 like who gets that? Who's Wow. Shout out Kim. Who's allowed to watch JK or one of his kids? Sure. Did anyone did anyone from a Pyongyang addressed by the socks? I don't know. That'd be big. That would be cool. Could you imagine? But he's like socks with the tag on you could see a little bit. Oh, that would be so sick. Would that destroy us or would that be sick for us? That would be so sick. Buy the socks, save the show. Yeah, that campaign's still on, by the way. Are we still selling socks? Mhm. Buy something. Save the show. Save the show. Buy something. Socks are good. Hey, if the son So, let's say Kim Jong-un's son watches. Huge fan. What's your guys' price tag? He's such a huge fan. He's going to fly you guys all out for free. I'll go. Oh, dude. I'm not going. He ain't got to pay me. The only thing I'm worried about is I made so many jokes. You would not go. And I don't know if
5:57 he's sensitive or he's cool. And I go there and then I'm actually in jail. And it was a trap. I would have been like for making fun of him all these times. Yeah. He's like, "Here's this video, that video, this video." I'm like, "I thought you were cool, bro. You never heard of satire, brother?" It's a trap. They have a montage of all the times you guys mention North Korea. We just did recently when we were talking about you. Right. That's where I get sent. We were like, "Do you sex or mong goes to North Korea?" They're like, "Oh man." Yeah. Confront. So Kim Jong will be like, "Why are you acting like that's a bad thing?" Now your time to confront them. I told dude sex or my song. I was like, "For life?" I was like, "What happens to my song?" He gets deported to North Korea. A deported? I didn't say deported. I thought I said hydraulic press. Hydraulic press. They got drunk. Yeah. My hydraulic press for my cats. You guys
6:48 hydraulic press my cats. I just think there's there's something they're not telling us. Like cuz Dennis Ramen was like, "Yo, I've been to parties all over the world. Nobody parties like North Korea." That's what he said. That's crazy cuz he has been. Hey, probably Kim Jong-un was like, "Hey, can you do me a favor when you go back? Can you just tell everyone that nobody parties as hard as me? I want people to know that I party way harder than everyone else." Pretty good, dude. Do you think that, you know, how like you celebrities, we always talk to celebrities, but we never get to ask them like cool questions. Yeah, Kim Jong-un could ask you whatever he wants and if you don't answer, you could maybe go to jail. So, if I was talking to Dennis Ramen, I'd be like, "Hey, dude, like what was it like bombing common ████ for years or for a year, I think, like in her prime? Like, tell me everything." And he would have to like, "Yeah, I I
7:38 think Dennis Robin would be candid about that. He'd be like, "Oh, yeah. I'll tell you whether whether you're going to prison or not." I think anyone would cast. You think he would? Oh, yeah. Dude, the interviews with that fool was crazy. He's kind of like in and out of consciousness a little bit. But can can you text Karma Electra right now and see if she'll come over? I'll just figure that's how he talks. I'll call right now. ████ You know what? 2025 Karma Electra. Yeah. No. All mad. All angry. 2005. 2005. Uh you know what you would probably jealous about and I also am are people that can equally breathe between both nostrils. Like clearly I'm jealous of that. ████ dude. Listen to me now. My whole life I this whole thing doesn't even work. Sucks dude. That sucks. One nostril doesn't work. Mhm. But I will say a flip side of that is it's like really thin on my left. A positive is I I don't smell poop as bad as everyone else does with clear nostrils. Oh, you
8:28 Oh, yeah. That's true. You can get closer to it than most people like almost every day. I can put bleach up to my nose and Can you smell the aftertaste from it? Yeah, I can taste it still. Yeah, I can still taste it. Doesn't it doesn't completely negate it. I'm jealous of people who can eat ████ anything and they're naturally fit as ████ Me, too, man. people with like really fast metabolisms. Yeah. And that maintains in old age cuz if you're like 20, you're like, "Yeah, sure. It's everybody." But the ones who are still like 40 and go like In-N-Out like hella burgers, but they're fit as hell. I got a friend like that that he's just he's trying to gain weight all the time and he can't. Is he a male mom or something? No. No. His name's Noel. He's he's he's a dancer. Of course, he's doing too many too much stuff. Yeah. He just can't. He's like super super thin and tall and no matter what he does, he just Tell him as soon as he stops dancing, he'll he's stopped
9:20 already. He's a He's a DJ now. He still can't. Whoever got watermelon juice. It's actually strawberry lime. Thank you. What? Fingers crossed they didn't ████ us on the green sauce. Fingers crossed they didn't focus on any sauce or burritos cuz sometimes that does happen. All right, what else? I'm jealous of people who like uh invest in things and then their money goes up. Oh, that I'm jealous of that. I'm jealous. I don't know what that feels. Be nice. supposed to be nice. Yeah, that that I don't think that's ever happened actually on anything I put my money into. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think I think that's sharp decrease. Oh, you know I'm jealous of people that have infinite social battery. I'm not. Dude, Ben Chun. Ben has infinite social battery. Yeah. What does that look like? Just like always and go out. He's always capable of like having a conversation for like hours with anybody at any time. Always. That's helpful. I Damn. And he and he like talks about that. He knows that
10:10 it's different for him. I don't know. Does he know of this power that he possesses to a degree? Yeah, he knows to Yeah. That's why he does podcasting. I guarantee if he did JK for like a while. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, you want Ben to stop talking? Make him do three days. I'm starting to break for real. Like like I went I went home last night and like five people are like sitting there like talking and I literally I'm sitting on the couch just being this just like knowing that I'm like I'm I can't I don't want to talk to you. I'll just tell them they're boring. Yeah, that's smart. When I come home, Tiff goes, "What do you guys talk about?" And I just go so much. Yeah. I can't summarize. Yeah. How do you summarize 9 hours? Yeah. How do I summarize 36 hours of conversation? I was like, "My fever dream. You mean tomorrow's Sunday. I probably won't say a word except for to Nikki like passing conversation until like probably six
11:01 o'clock at night when the game's on. When the game's on. Yeah. Dude, you know what I'm jealous of? I'm jealous of Smack cuz she has this super h I don't know if it's like a in the positive or the negative, but she has this ability to uh she doesn't overthink anything. That's unique. When her with her social media, she sits there and goes, "Oh, that'd be funny." immediately films it, immediately posts it, and doesn't even think about it. She just does. She goes, "I just wanted to make it." And there's no like, "Will people like it? Will I look stupid?" Like, that's never come from her like thing. Is she one of those in uh no internal monologue people? Have you heard of those? She might be. Yeah. Yeah. Where you don't want to hear your own voice. 40% of the world don't have it. For real. 40%. It's a huge number. I hear my own voice right now, dude. I got like six guys in here. You suck. You suck. You suck. You suck. We didn't say it recently. We We said like four videos
11:52 ago, bro. Yeah. She doesn't That's why she doesn't collab a lot because most people they think too hard about what they're making and she's like, "You're slowing me down." Yeah. She's like, "I don't want to work with anybody that's like stopping everything going, "Yeah, but let's figure out how people are going to see it." She doesn't do that at all. And I'm like, "How the f███?" You know what I'm jealous of you of? You know what I'm jealous of you of? Oh, yeah. Yeah. My height. Okay. I have a couple things. Number one. Number one, for sure. You ready for this? Get ready. Are you ready for this? You remember everything? Yes, he remembers everything. Everything. Everything. I You just remember everything. What does he remember? Everything. See, you don't remember. Details like story. I'm the opposite of him. I don't remember nothing. That's why That's why I'm jealous. But he I do that a lot. He'll bring up details that I forgot I told him unprompted, like word for word and I'll be like, "How the ████ do you
12:42 remember that? I don't even remember having this conversation." I do that a lot because it's cuz he didn't do drugs. Do you know what? You know what really like hurts me bad is uh if I'm arguing with smack or anyone about like like I got into it with the ████ the tire shop in Vegas because I know for a fact they didn't say that I had to get all four and then when I was there the guy's like I told you all four and I almost lost my ████ because I have a perfect ████ memory you didn't say that. You know what I mean? Like I would imagine that gets frustrating actually because because everybody doesn't have a good memory so then you're arguing over reality and that must be crazy. And I'm like telling this guy, I'm like, "I know you ████ believe that you said that, but you completely didn't because I immediately associated with the fact that I'd be happy that I didn't have to buy two more." And I was like going off on this guy and he's like, "No, I told you four tires." And I was like, "You're ████ Yeah. It's like it makes you like it makes you feel like people are like making you rethink your own reality because I'm like, "No, that's exactly
13:33 because he told that to a different customer and he thought that you were him cuz then he was an Indian guy and he thought it was you." There's like a million reasons why he could have really been earnest, but like because of this thing where like I take these like mental pictures of things people say, it's hard for me to like I hold on to it so tightly. You know what I mean? You'd be a great key witness, dude. You'd be a great But he's he's an example though of why, you know, character witnesses don't work because there's not as many of him. Yeah. And there's more of me. I make my ████ up. It didn't even happen and I believe it. Me and Tiff almost got in a fight cuz I was I was ordering tacos and I I She said she wanted three and I said two, but in my head I was like, "Yeah, I said three." And then she's like, "No, you said two." And I'm like, "I said three." I go to the ████ taco place. They only give me two tacos. And I'm like, I said three. And then I went
14:23 because you said three and then went two. And I went back in the car. She's like, "I told you you only order two." And I go, "I'm that guy now. This is who I am, dude." Yeah, I felt so bad. I was like, "Oh, should work. I should work at a tire shop now." That's the thing. It's the irrational. It's the frustration is more than normal. Like, like when I told you a story about how Smack thought it was my iPad and I was like, "No, that's your iPad." And then I tried to be a normal person and just go, "Yeah, maybe maybe it could be." And then I just sat there and I just started shaking. I was like, I know it's not mine. You know what I mean? Like, it's hard to just like So, it's hard to play the role of like, yeah, one of us probably just forgot, though. Like I'm like I'm like like it's like an autistic tick. Yeah, it kind of is. I'll be buried. It'll have my my gravestone will say he likes Steve Green. I said three even though you were wrong. Yeah, it
15:13 doesn't matter. I said three. Doesn't ████ matter. Side tangent about uh Just Tires though. You know, you pull up with a ████ nail, they won't charge you to fix it. Yeah, they just fix it for you. Oh, at Just Tires. That's American Tires, too. We don't have that in Vegas, huh? No, it it was in Vegas. That Just Tires. Oh yeah. I was like I was like, "Wait, you guys aren't charging me?" Nah, it's kind of a service that we do. And I'm like, "But I didn't buy nothing out of the kindness of their heart. Isn't that so nice?" But it makes you go back. See, that's the marketing part. I was at Outback Steakhouse thinking, "F███, it's going to cost me so much money to plug this ████ little nail." And I went back and they're like, "It's free." Outback Steakhouse. It's pretty sick. I was in Sedona and the bottom plastic thing on the car was like hanging off and scraped against the ground. So, I pulled it into this auto body shop and the guy fixed it in like like 5 minutes. He raised it up, fixed it, and I was like, "How much?" And he's like, "Oh, it's free. Don't
16:03 worry about it." And I'm like, "I don't even live here, but I I don't even do repeat business." He's like, "Don't worry about it. It was so easy. Who cares?" Wow. What a cool guy. Versus the other guy that's like $1,000. Yeah. Legit. He has to have an accent. How much do you have? Thankfully, I had a 20 on me so I didn't feel like a total scumbag. I'm jealous of people with ████ uh those cheekbones that go in. Yeah, like the ████ ████ boy model face. Yeah, I'm jealous of butt chin guys. But Shut the hell up. You're not jealous of that ████ Why would you want that? Butt chin guys usually have chiseled jaw lines. I don't know. Why'd you ask? Uh sometimes I wish I had long hair. What do you mean? You can't just grow it. That's not a That's You could just do it. I don't even need long hair. I just want full hair. You're jealous of people's hair length. Show us your hair. Show us your hair. Show your hair. Is that anything? Mike, how do you think I'm doing? Grow it. Doing all right.
16:53 Yeah. All right. It's starting to kind of look like I almost want to draw. It's almost Avatar the Last Air Bender right now. Oh, kind of. You can make the arrow. Oh, you should make the arrow. Yeah, make avatar arrow. Say something back tone, dude. Does it look like Avatar arrow? Yeah, it does. Say something back to tone, dude. Can you do some air bending real quick? Just kind of move your arms around. Woo. She wasn't 18. That's what I'll say. It looks like he was going for a mohawk and then he stopped halfway. Steve won the video. Steve won. Jeez, I missed out.
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