0:05 Welcome back to the episode of Care for Boys. Get into your sci-fi brains, everybody, and tell me if you had to do the holy reset, which basically means you go back to the um whatever spiritual ethereal zone and reset life, you get to be born again in the same year that you're born before, but you have to pick a different age and ethnicity. Which one are you going with? Asian ethnicity? >> Yep. You're born You get reborn. Same time, same >> Same year, same everything. Same year, same City, different ethnicity. Same year, same I think Filipino, 100%. Wait, why? Filipinos have fun. Okay. And they're talented. And everyone And everyone loves them. And very low chance of Buddhism.
0:56 So, he gets reincarnated and now he has talent? No, now he gets his talent uh what's it called? Put to the test daily. He's a showman. Yeah. That is true. They They Yeah, if you If you came back as uh Bart um Lopez, Yeah. Bart Garcia, yeah, you probably have a nice uh you definitely have a fun life. I How do you think he would turn out differently, though? I don't think you'd be as successful Why? >> as you are now. What do you mean? I don't think I think the chances that the discipline you ended up with as Bart Kwan would be uh like I guess like similar in strength. I just don't see it happening. >> He'd just be a warm community guy that's really good at dancing and like nursing.
1:46 I might just have like But I feel like I'd be able to maybe If I kept my same personality traits, I think I would have been able to nurture and double down on those. Maybe. >> And maybe I won't be as disciplined or more structure. That's true. Um but I don't even know if those were ever my strengths. Those could have just been forced forced onto me. >> been a stand-up comedian that also likes to dance. Yeah, maybe. You would have ended up in the Marines. You would have been in the Navy. I don't even think I would have had a need to join the military cuz I would have had such a good upbringing. I'm like oh my parents let me do let me do like uh let me do drama in high school. And then I play like drums. I probably went to like >> Play drums? like Berkeley School of Music to do more music. My parents just supported me the whole time. I don't even think I would have gone the military route. I wonder if at the time though your parents would have uh been able to support Berkeley as a
2:37 freaking school. That's expensive. Maybe they would you would have gone to UC Riverside. Good school, dude. I might have gone Korean. I think that those are two Those two are the safe choices, I think. >> Well, like you're talking about like same era, born in the same city type ████ So, that means I still I still end up going to Sunny Hills High School. Would have been convenient as ████ to be Korean there. I still would have went to UCI. All my best friends that came out of the last like 20 years were all still Korean anyway. So, instead of uh cuz that's a cuz that's a Korean club. But Kinjas would mean Korean ninjas now. It would just make sense. >> It'd be Anthony Kim and Mike Song. Korean ninjas. It could still just be Anthony Lee and I'd still be Anthony Lee and Mike Song. That's true. That's true. That's true.
3:27 Do people assume the same and easier? Do people assume that you're Korean? >> Yeah, for sure. I thought he was Korean. I legitimately thought Kinjas meant Korean ninjas. >> Korean people Korean people are always like oh, you're Korean, right? I'm like oh, no, I'm Chinese. And they're like oh, but your last name's Lee. And I'm like They want him to be Korean so bad. >> I understand. >> You should say oops, you're right. I'm Korean. I totally understand that you think L E is Korean, but like just remember all these you were probably Chinese at one point in your life. But that's never going to work. That's never going to work. Probably millions of more Lees that are Chinese than are Korean. All y'all came from China, but it's all good. You're right. Korean, okay. What else you think would be like you think it'd be more fun though? I think a lot of things would have been uh I feel like I would have been more a part of things than more a participant of things.
4:17 Cuz I feel like I was around so many like Korean culture stuff, you know, like in high school might have been like there's there's witnessing homies in Korean gang culture to also witnessing homies in Korean Christian club. There's in college there's like literal Korean cultural clubs and like you know the different groups that get together and they're always super open and inclusive to have the random Chinese Vietnamese guy hang out. But like so I was always participating, but I was never really a part of. So I'm like I would probably live a very very similar life to like what I already experienced, but I just might be a part of. Dude, if you started off Korean, you could probably be just be in BTS. You would probably just You would just be one of the guys. Exactly. That's that's why I love this
5:08 question so much cuz I realized how successful I would have been if you were just Korean. It's so easy. Just be Korean, dude. reputation of or the the the power of Kinjas if like both guys were Korean. And then everybody's like why are you guys choosing a Japanese cultural thing calling it Korean? Because it was originally from Korea. >> Koreans don't have ninjas. Which are originally all Chinese. Do Koreans have ninjas? They're called Kinjas. Korean race had ninjas, dude. Not like that though. Not like that. Mossad got ninjas. Mossad got ninjas. They're different though. They're different. >> about people that wear masks and murder people in the night? >> Yeah, like what's the Korean version of that? >> It's just a spy. Yeah, what's a Korean assassin? >> assassin. >> Yeah. Korean assassin? Yeah. You know why they call them You know why they call them assassins?
5:58 Why? Because they would hide in the porta potty bottom and then stab them in the ass. Is that really So it's an ass-assins. Is that really Not not head sassins, ass-assins. >> Ass-assins. Oh, ████ I just want to imagine Neil deGrasse Tyson telling me that. They used to speak English back then. >> Just for this bit. How about space? Listen to this. What do you want to do? Change your race, change your ethnicity. You're still Joe. You still live in Gardena, by the way. In Gardena, there's nothing but Japanese people. There's no other Asians, really. There's some. There are Filipinos and Koreans. Isn't this the opportunity for you to be like Mong? Honestly, I think you would thrive as a Vietnamese. >> Me, too. I think you would be like Yeah. Personality-wise, right? You're pretty good, man. I probably feel more Chinese and Vietnamese than I do Asian. But you might have never stopped the gang life.
6:48 You would have lived the right? I think you wouldn't have got out. Friends were Vietnamese and Chinese. You might not have bought a gun, you might have bought a gold chain, though. And I do I feel like Korean culture is way too similar to Japanese culture. It almost feels like they're just our loud, angry cousins. Yeah. So I'm like, it's too familiar. I want If I was going to do it again, I want to be so foreign and different, like Cambodian or something. Where it's like new and I'm like, this is some new ████ Then you would have been a gangster, for sure, then. >> I would have been in a donut shop every single day of my life. Like we wouldn't have this conversation. I'm like, man, I was born and raised in a donut shop. That's all I know. >> All you know? All I know is donuts. You want to know a honest, like woe is me, nobody gives a ████ version of this? I would have loved to grow up either 100% Vietnamese or 100% Chinese. Oh,
7:39 that's really But why is that woe is me? What do you mean, like No, because at that time You felt like you don't fit in? My biggest woe so to speak was never again, just like the Korean thing, never fully being a part of anything. If I was with like the Vietnamese Boy Scouts, they would give me ████ cuz I wasn't fully Vietnamese. If I was with the uh my Chinese homies or Chinese cousins Isn't the language that much more important? >> Yeah, but like But kids are just so black and white with everything, right? It's like, "Oh, you're not fully this, so it's never quite You're never enough. Yeah, they find something. It's like your one standout feature is the thing that gets magnified no matter what, right? And it could be objective. It could be like, "This one's the tall guy." Or this one or It's like, "Oh, that guy's the Chinese one." But then in Chinese uh like around my Chinese friends, it's like I'm not Chinese enough cuz I didn't speak Chinese. So all that's the Vietnamese guy, but I'm like, "Wait a minute."
8:29 Hold up. Hold on. I always felt like it was the speaking. So like I grew up in South Oh. >> of Korean friends. I played drums in a uh Korean praise band. So like Like like him. Like I felt like I participated a lot. But then Korean is also one of those languages they like to speak Konglish a lot, right? So if they're all talking whatever and just I don't know all go to the Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll go to the The text so I'm like in in the conversation all of a sudden I'm like, "What are they saying? I don't even know. I'll never be a part of these guys for real." You know what I mean? It's like as soon as cuz if there's like five Korean guys talking, as soon as they speak the other Korean that I'm out. >> speaking >> And I want to be back in, but I don't really know. And then like all And then like I'm just the cute Chinese guy that does know the cultural customs. So when I see like my my homies' parents, "Oh, whatever." You know, and they're like, "Okay, cool." And the minute they go
9:23 So I can never really >> Let me go to your culture and let me go to your culture. Yeah, I can never fully participate. >> Imagine if you were Filipino then. But if I spoke I feel like if I spoke Korean 100% you could probably get absorbed into it, no? I also feel like Koreans >> That'd be a novel. I also feel like like Korean Americans will come here and be proud to be Korean. I feel like Filipino Americans would be here and be proud to like be American. Yeah, hell yeah, dude. Like yeah, man. Yeah, cuz when I was growing up, I feel like out of the cool factor, Filipinos had the best cool factor. Like They were really cool. Yeah, like they were always up to the trends. They were able to like dress however they wanted. They had the coolest cars or whatever. There was crumping. Yeah. Oh my god, I forgot about that. Don't wear that. Yeah. They were there cornrows and ████
10:13 They're rapping. And I feel like all the other Asian kids, their parents were like, "Why do they have to dress like that?" They were just the most black. Filipinos are the most black of the Asians. most black. I wish I was black. That's the Asian I want. Can I be Nigerian? >> Nigerian, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come back as Nigerian. Being Cambodian might be the closest thing. That's why I chose Cambodian. It's true. If I grew up I grew up SGV and I grew up Gardena. If it was the SGV, I think like I grew up with hella Cantonese and Vietnamese and I felt more comfortable with them than I did with Japanese people. Cuz I feel like Cantonese culture or like Vietnam they're just warm. They're like more like They're just more welcoming and there's no like hierarchy and like ████ their parties are always like chill. But then like That's that chuchau right here, baby. Yeah. Chuchau. But like I
11:05 feel like um East Asians are just more strict and bullying and there's a lot hierarchy and then like It's more rigid, yeah. Hella rigid, yeah. You want to be a jungle Asian. I I love jungle Asians, like hardcore. When I I feel more comfortable in Southeast Asia than I do in East Asia. What would you want to be? You know what? It's funny. I actually legitimately will want to be Singaporean. Really? >> Also, you're just rich. You just want to be Nick? No, because like Well, you guys had the same upbringing, going to the same school, Bellflower, Downey, all that. >> like my one of my best buds like since kindergarten, he was Singaporean. So, I like found out what Singaporean was like my first consciousness appearing. And like his family, they were just like way more like uh I guess like assimilated or like American and just kind of uh
11:57 So, you just want to be Uncle Roger and ████ >> No, I just I just thought like I mean at that point I just thought it was like they were like cool Chinese people. Oh, you thought they were cooler? Yeah. Cannot. Cannot. Cannot. Cannot. >> Wait, so what was the I've I don't know if I've actually met a Singaporean, but what's the what like what's the thing like? Well, I mean at that point the only thing as a kid was I was just I just thought they were cool Chinese people. Like not not uptight. Not uptight. And then when I actually spent time in Singapore, I was like for this to be your home country, goddamn. The Wakanda of Asia. Wakanda of Asia. It's ████ unreal. And like cuz that's out of all the Asian countries that I've done work in, I I was the longest in Singapore. And I just couldn't believe it, dude. I couldn't bro.
12:47 Yeah, yeah. So, it's way it's way too Hey, I was still in the lowest caste system when I was there. Cool that if you grew up Singaporean, that means you get to visit every time. That's the country you get to go to. Cuz I feel like culturally their ████ they just have their ████ locked down. It's just like it's good. Don't ████ with it. It's just good. Like whereas when you go to other Asian countries, you go ah that needs work. This could be better. That could be nicer. But Singapore like for the most part like they're ████ fine. Like they're happy, right? >> Perfection. Yeah, I mean I'm sure that I'm sure like obviously internally like if you're Singaporean in Singapore, you probably know what needs to be done. But like We can't afford our cars. >> Yeah, that too. But then you don't need your cars out there really. You only like cars are Yeah, yeah, yeah. They they have like their their infrastructure doesn't require cars the way that California forces you to have
13:38 them. It's like it's totally different thing. But I just think like I I admired so much about like how enriched and how like and how diverse it still is cuz you have like your Malay, Indian, and Chinese influence all at one and they all have the same accent. S███'s kind of tight. Yeah, they got their own music, they have their own media, movies, TV shows. It's like their own pigeon, huh? Yeah. It's humid. Yeah, it does get hot. But everything But you're seeing a point in here. air condition and everything's connected interior-wise. Like oh, I'm in this mall, but I want to go to that mall. I just have to go underground through a mall to get to that mall. Everything's just so well designed. Everything's thought of ahead of time. >> And I just felt like damn, like that's sick to think like oh, you know, as a Singaporean like to like when I was there I'm like damn, I wish I like this place so much that if I fit in fully I could see myself like wanting to live
14:28 here forever. Yeah, cuz it's just so dope. Perfection. 100% of perfection. Yeah, there's like master plan communities and then this is like a master plan country. There you go. Pick one. That's it. That's what happens when you have a benevolent dictator. >> It's so yeah, benevolent dictatorship is always the best, right? But but like good luck. Yeah. Like if it's too big it'd be hard to control. Oh, I'm sure it gets harder, you know. Also the fact that Singapore does a really good job with the arts. So like you have you know, America is just ████ all to if you want to be a dancer. You don't You're on your own. But then Singapore there's there's like there's tracks for things. Like if you want to their their B-boy scene is so ████ like flourished. Like they have so much community around it. Yeah, they're they're the ones that are responsible for throwing some of the best jams in China. Cuz it's like they're they're so
15:18 organized. They have their ████ down. And their Um, you know, their OGs are actually very intelligent, unlike some of America's OGs. You know, it's just it's it's everything that like you know, everything that I would want out of out of my home country kind of deal. Yeah, it's cool. What about you? You want to be ████ uh Dagestani? Oh, dude, is that on the Oh, no. No, Asian >> No, I'm going to come back as from Kazakhstan, dude. Kazakh? Come back from Kazakhstan, dude. No, that's too that's that's too Arab. No, they're not Arab, actually. I take that back. That's Central Asia, right? >> It's either that or Mongolian, dude. You I get to pick. >> Asia's Asia, baby. Could you handle being that beautiful? I'm going to be a bad person, I think. And having back good of wrestling? >> If if I was if I was if I was if I was a hot if I was Kazakh hot, dude, I think
16:09 I'd be a bad guy. >> It's a different lifestyle, man. I would take advantage of a lot of people like Anthony Lee, dude. I don't take advantage of nobody. >> I would trick you. I'll get you so ████ good, dude. You wouldn't even know. You don't want to go like, "Let's get down to business to defeat the Huns." You look like the Hun. Don't make a Hun face when he says that. Yeah, don't do Hun face. Why, dude? I don't look like a Mongolian. I don't have the blue birthmark on my butt. You know that? >> You need that? Yeah. Because that's isn't that the whole sign that >> it goes away after like a 2-years-old. Oh, are you talking about that one? The one that Cuz I've been checking, it's not there, dude. Like the bruise-looking Yeah, yeah. They call it like the Mongolian whatever. Is that what You're born with it and then it's gone after like when you're Is 2 years? Or one or two, I don't know. My daughter's Mongolian? Well, it's cuz every Asian kid has like Mongolian blood or whatever
16:59 and they call it the Mongolian mark. I got some of that blood in me, dude, for sure. >> I got to say. Is Samoan Can I come back as Samoan? Does that count? First of all, you got to say Samoa. Samoan. Pacific Islanders not Asian. Closer than Samoan and Yeah, probably, huh? Cook Island guy. Ah. >> Yeah, I think I'd come back as a Mongolian, dude. Dude, Mongolian does fit you very well. >> Pillage stuff. >> Yeah. >> horses. Yeah. No, but I was thinking about it like in the context of my life and how I grew up. If I was any other Asian, I don't think a lot would have changed much as far as like my track cuz I felt like there was no like in-group Asians with the kids I grew up with. Like there wasn't like a big group of Korean kids. You know, like I I would if if I was Korean, I don't think I would have like
17:51 I don't know. There just wasn't that many Asian kids around me. I think I'd always be like the solo Asian kid. >> That'd be funny if you came back a different Asian ethnicity and his life's exactly the same. In my head, that's what I was thinking. I was like I think it would be exactly the same. Every life event. What if you're >> Like not much would change, I think. >> What if you're from ████ Bangladesh? And I had my same life, the same life track that I lived? >> Yeah. Bangla Bangladesh would be different. >> I can't do hard mode. But you could be a Bengal tiger. Coming back Indian, I would consider that hard mode. That's tough. >> Hot ass Indian chick, though. Hot ass Indian chick? Do you know any? He knows all of them. >> it back to you, pal. >> there's one called Pataki. >> Don't put your mic down. Dude, I'm not doing
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