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How Far Can We Take This Conversation Before Getting in Trouble

#ebonyalert#denise#willingmegans#christmasjones#sliders
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0:00 And then you realize she's got puffy with points at the end. Yeah, >> that was one of my like 12-year-old gem finds. >> Absolutely. You was busting all over the place. My keyboard was never a safe. >> Things you're willing to be on Megan's Law over? >> Oh my god. >> Like who? Like who you're willing to be on Megan's law for? No. How about [laughter] this? Are you ready for this? Who >> who are you down as defend? >> You're driving in your car. You hear an Amber Alert go off. Who is next to you in the in the seat? [laughter] >> And was it worth it? >> Who's next to you in the seat? And was it worth it? [laughter] >> Sick. >> Your your dream Amber alert victim

0:50 [laughter] and the alerts cuz of you. What if your dream is an ebony alert victim? >> Oh, damn. He just took You are the winner of the day. >> Wait, what did you call it? An ebony alert. >> Don't give it to him. He said take it to space, bro. >> I'll take it to space. [laughter] >> Teach me. >> He said your dream ebony alert victim. >> Ebony alert. >> Oh, ebony alert victim. Dang. Tia and Tamara Moore rebad. [laughter] >> I got your back. What? But only when they were young, not now, >> dude. Welcome to the this. We're in the middle of trying to pick the most politically incorrect offensive title possible for Patreon. We got to talk about where it started and what was happening in the middle. How it spawned from just like dude who's like a hot celebrity but happens to be pretty young [laughter] >> and then it turns into like who are you

1:40 willing to be on Megan's Law for? Hey, no no no no. Who are you willing to who are you willing to walk in holding a pizza to a Chris Hansen steakout and you still go yeah I did it. Yeah, I'm here. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you like I didn't I didn't I knew I knew I I knew. Should we make it should we make it really really dark where it's like okay to almost talk about but it's still dark like >> we already brother we're swimming. >> They're obviously totally legal but like celebrities but there are some celebrities that were uh their breakout roles were kid roles. >> Oh, okay. Well, it's you know what's weird? That's so similar to like you know Piper Rockel. >> Oh yeah. The uh influencer who does Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, she recently uh started fans this year. It ████ massively blew up because she was a kid

2:32 uh creator. >> What the ████ >> That's like wasn't there some ████ on one of those Disney shows where it's like it's like the Wizards of Waverly Place or something and she does fans now. >> Oh, probably. >> Well, you're so you're talking about someone that like uh >> they watched they watched her almost grow up. >> Yeah. That was the only way you saw her was cuz she was for kids. So that means you wereing watching her as a kid. >> So you had a crush on her. >> Who? >> So it's like you got to see her next door. >> Not you like me. >> No. No. It's like it's like if you were the same age then you grew up with your next door neighbor sweetheart. >> It's like growing up with Hermione. >> Like it's Yeah. But it's guaranteed not like everyone who subscribed to her on day one was also 18. >> You know what I mean? >> There could be a bunch of older or most likely there's a bunch of older people. Have you ever seen this thing about Tik Tok where like uh Smack was the one who showed me and she said that uh whenever

3:22 you have these like parents that keep making their kids be social media stars on Tik Tok, you ever see the amount of saves. So shares is one thing, likes is one thing, comments is another. >> The saves areing always way more than all of those things. That reminds me of when Millie Bobby Brown was like a kid and like people were hella doing that stuff >> because like why the are people saving like that's it's like exponentially higher than like comments and likes. So they're not even they're not interacting with the post. They're not saying anything. They're just saving it. Like that's ████ weird, right? >> I thought I thought the biggest fan base were like lonely grandmas that didn't have grandkids. >> No, dude. They're too busy watching AI. You know what was actually the craziest uh blow up glow up? X23. >> Oh yeah, for sure.

4:12 >> Daffhne Keane. Who was that? >> Logan. Remember the girl with the claws in Logan? The Wolverine movie. >> She's like a kid in that movie. So she got popular as a kid in the >> And then she was just in the recent movie, right? The Avengers movie. >> You would have Amber alerted for her. >> No, she's she's grown. >> What does she look like? Can you pull her up? >> Are you talking about now or you like the old one now? No. No. Now. Stop that fool. Don't do that. Don'ting do that. >> No. What does she look like now? She looks >> He likes a debut time. >> She looks beautiful. >> No, you got to remind you got to remind him what she look like in Logan first. >> You remind him. >> No. >> No. I remember. I remember like Logan's daughter, right? I remember. Yeah. >> Are you more of a shark boy guy or a lava girl? Relax real quick. >> I remember. I got you. >> But now she's a like a grown beautiful woman. >> Yeah, she's a fullblown woman now. >> But Anthony's talking about when he first saw her. [laughter] >> Yeah, when he first saw her the first time.

5:03 >> [laughter] >> You saw her in like a play or something breakout. He was like, "Yeah, that Oh, she was on my computer a lot." >> Dude, you guys are still haven't learned not to ask Steve to do technical ████ Look how long it takes. [laughter] >> Why does it always come out like one pixel? [laughter] It's like so small. >> This is a Facebook link, so it says it's going to be 1,600 by 2025, and it's not. It's like you back, actually. >> Yeah, she's pretty. She grew up to be really pretty. >> This is the best one. >> All right. Who are you willing to lose your high school coaching job over? [snorts and laughter] >> Oh my god. Again. [laughter] >> What the [gasps] >> Oh my god. [laughter] >> So good. >> That's the >> This is If this has been a bit this whole time that he just acts like he

5:53 doesn't know how to do this ████ is really funny. >> It's not. Henvy. HP Envy. Don't get one. We just gave some pervert on the other side like the craziest blue balls ever. He's like, "F███, I was getting ready to jack into these guys' list and what the I can't even see it. Son of a b████." >> Someone who like thinks we're going to be serious and we just ████ around. They They're all mad. [laughter] >> They're getting their dick in. >> Oh, THESE GUYS REALLY DON'T LIKE YOUNG GIRLS. A Okay. Okay. I'm going to make up for all my transgressions right now. >> Wow. >> Oh, that's that's Anony's uh >> Stop. Stop saying my first name. >> That's crazy. >> That's Anthony. >> That's X23. >> That's what I'm saying. >> That's dangerous. >> You can't be getting mad at me if like you're putting those photos up and ████ I just like Marvel. >> That's too dangerous. >> Oh, you're just you're just fan of the character. I'm just clicking save save.

6:44 [laughter] >> That's too dangerous. >> You're just like character writing. >> Isn't that actually insane? >> But she's mating age though. >> She's How old is she now? >> I know. But it's like having like imagine you had a little sister and then she was your little sister the whole time and all a sudden she walks out of her room and the badunk dunks just start bouncing all over. >> Yeah, but I didn't watch her grow up. She just showed up on my screen right now. >> But we watched Logan >> the slow what do you Ken Burns effect right now? >> Okay. Yeah. If you don't remember, I think that's fine. >> I'm showing I know tech. [laughter] >> You guys think I don't know tech. >> This guy's ████ >> Jesus. Steve. Hey, stop looking then. >> It's X23, Anthony. >> X23, dude. >> Those are mutant boobs. >> Hey, dude. She went to summer camp. She's all grown up now, brother. >> Oh my goodness. >> Fine. I'll bounce it out with a a young male that turned hot.

7:35 [laughter] >> Ryan Gosling. >> That's true. >> You knew about Ryan Gosling when he was a kid. >> He was a Mickey Mouse Club. >> Yeah, he was Mickey Mouse Club. He was >> But you like knew him. >> Oh, he was a part of that group, too. >> You would just see him and then you would see him. I remember one time that uh like remember in like Remember the Titans? I didn't see that until I was older. >> Oh, he was in Remember the Titans? >> Yeah, he's in Remember the Titans, too. Little nerdy boy. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember now. Yeah. >> Um >> he was like a wide receiver or something. >> But now he's like just ████ the man. >> Like machismo man. >> Plus uh Eva Menddees. >> She [snorts] was a kid actor. >> No, I'm saying uh that's his wife. >> Oh yeah. Yeah. >> I was like [laughter] aa Mendes as a kid actor. No, he just pulled in too. >> She was a kid at something. >> She was a [laughter] kid at train. >> That's crazy. [laughter]

8:26 >> She was 12 years old. >> Oh yeah. Like what's her name from Basic Instinct was a kid in that movie, right? Sharon Stone. >> Oh, Sharon Stone. Okay. [laughter] >> Imagine Michelle Fiverr was a kid in Scarface. Yeah, I remember that. >> Jesus. Which child actor did you see and go, "Damn, they're going to be fine when they grow up." >> Rookie of the year >> as an adult. Oh, the the main kid. No, the [laughter] >> You know who when I was a kid I thought was fine? >> Who? >> Uh the home girl from uh Casper. Who's that? >> Oh. Oh, Christina Reachi. >> Yeah. >> Oh, >> and Black Snake Mom. >> Oh, dude. That was That's >> I couldn't watch it because of that. >> If you like Reachi, you going to love Black Snake Mo. [laughter] >> Imagine taking Christina Richie and then hitting a dial of sexualization to the max. >> It's like No, it's so over the top. >> Oh. Oh. What? You don't know about this? >> It's so over the top, dude. The whole plot of the movie is that she's like

9:16 dangerously horny. Can't control it. >> Holy ████ >> She has to get chained to like a ████ carburetor to keep her from stop being in heat >> cuz she keeps everyone in town. >> And Sam Jackson Sam Jackson is like whipping her and ████ the whole time. Be like, "Stop being a horny b████." >> He trains her to like stop ████ everybody. >> That's a crazy movie. >> I swear that's the plot, dude. >> That sounds insane. I only remember Casper. I cold watched it not knowing what it was and I was like, "Wait a minute. >> It looks hot when she's moving around, but this isn't great." >> That is crazy. >> Yeah. She's basically like ████ uh tragically horny like for everybody. >> Yeah, >> that's what it was about. >> Yeah, >> I didn't know that. >> She like I think like at one point like an Amazon guy comes and tries to get them off, right? >> Yeah. Everyone who she comes in contact with trying to This had to be based on a book and they missed the meaning and they made the movie like smut >> cuz it's like all it is is this. Dude,

10:07 you better go with sweatpants on, brother. [laughter] >> Dude, don't watch it. >> It'll make him too horny. >> Yeah, you'll get too horny. You'll become like that. You'll actually become horny if you watch it. >> Have you ever gone to a strip club with your chick and you get horny and then you like go home and you >> just watch Black Stone at home. Save a lot of money. [laughter] >> If I watch it with her, she's guaranteed to >> I think she could. Yeah, >> it's Christina Richie, so it's going to be weird for you. You saw her as a kid, >> dude. I saw her as a kid, too. And guess what? I didn't give a ████ >> dude. When I was a kid, I thought Alyssa Milano was so fine. >> Who's the boss, dude? I thought she was the finest, dude. >> Hell yeah. >> She's the only reason why I was down to watch Charmed with my sister. >> Me, too. >> Oh, Charm. That's right. >> And by the way, every time the other sisters were on screen, I was like, "Get off the ████ screen." >> And I definitely tortapstered some weird video of her topless Alysa

10:57 Milana. >> What? >> The one where she's against the wall. >> It's from like some like lowbudget movie. >> Yeah. She And then you realize she's got puffy nipples with points at the end. Yeah, >> that was one of my like 12-year-old gem finds. >> Absolutely. You was busting all over the place. My keyboard was never a safe. >> Wow. >> Family computer was never the same. >> I know. [laughter] >> GOD DAMN. THE KEYBOARD IS stuck again. >> Do you guys remember that ████ from Stargate? She was like so ████ hot. The TV show. I'm going to find this. Oh, no. Sliders. Sliders. Sliders. >> Oh, you like the girl from Sliders? >> The girl that Yeah. the one who would travel with them. >> Holy ████ >> So, she was a teenager then? >> No, she wasn't a teen. >> But she was talking about teenagers, Steve. >> I'm trying to show you hot ████ >> But she was the only girl out of all the like cast. >> Oh, we're we're talking teenagers and

11:48 then we're teenagers. >> No, no, no, no. Teenagers and we're even older than we are now. [laughter] >> You're 50 and you're white. >> Put yourself in the mind of a 50-year-old. No, cuz I remember watching Wild Things with Denise Richards >> and I thought my dick's going to explode. >> That's what happened to me when I saw her in World is Not Enough. >> Oh yeah. Oh yeah, dude. She's bouncing around that whole movie. >> Oh my god, dude. >> They have her bouncing around. She's dressed like a scientist. Uh-huh. In a movie. >> Yeah. No way. She'sing Yeah. >> Dr. Christmas Jones, bro. >> And by the way, Christmas Jones. And at the end of the movie, uh, Pierce Broman, he's like kissing on her and stuff. with fireworks and then he's like, "I thought Christmas only came once a year." >> Yeah, that's the sickest line. Yeah, >> man. My Pierce is really good. >> Yeah, it is. That's not Pierce, though. >> I thought my I thought Christmas only came once a year.

12:38 >> That's Sean Connory. >> Oh, no. That's pretty >> talking about The Girl from Hook. >> No, I'm talking about Starship Troopers. Did you watch it? >> No, I haven't seen it. >> That's still going to be a movie you're going to love. >> I still don't understand. >> Who's the hot one in that one? >> Denise Richard was in that one as well. >> You're going to love it. You're going to love it. And even the other chick, now the other chick's super naked, but the other chick's fine, too. >> The other chick's fine, but Deards got it going on. >> Pull up the N Richards and >> I'm on it. I'm on it. >> You know the the controversy of this, but you were young, so you're okay with it? Brook Shields. >> Well, yeah, you're right. There. I can't believe that didn't hit me that it was like controversial now to see that >> cuz she was in she was in Blue Lagoon and like everyone was sexualizing her when she was like 14 to 16. >> Oh, right. >> Yeah. She was a kid basically and playing like adult romances, >> but like I we were kids so I was like she's fine. I was just fantasizing about Brook Shields too. Yeah.

13:28 >> Why are Facebook links so sexually? >> All right, whatever. I'm going to boomer this one up here. I think this is the best shot. [laughter] >> Do you want us to get you an iPad for Christmas? >> That's all I got. >> How come only Facebook links? >> Dude, that's not that's OP, dude. This is not like that's not normal. >> That's like way too crazy for like Hell no. It's not normal. She's a scientist. She's a nuclear scientist, dude. >> That's AI. >> But like imagine seeing that as a kid and you're just like I think AI builds its hot ladies off of Brooks. >> Yeah. >> Well, that's >> that's Denise. Yeah. Or Denise. That's Denise. Sorry. Off Denise. I feel like she's got that she's got that look that AI almost builds ████ off of. That's ridiculous. >> She's a teenager. >> That's ridiculous. >> But that's a bunny look. No, no, no, no. She's just a full grown woman. >> Denise Richards Wild Things. He's like, I want to have a boner so hard it falls

14:19 off. How far back do you want to go? You want to go even younger? >> What does she look like now? [laughter] >> Baby pictures, >> dude. When you're down so bad, you're looking up Denise Richard's baby pictures. >> You know what we should look up? We should look up hot teenagers moms and see if we would do them at our age now. >> Hot teenage moms where we can exploit the relationship using power imbalance. >> Wait, you want single teenage moms that are hot? [laughter and gasps] Is this Is this an advertisement? Am I Do I need to click through this? >> Oh, here we go. >> You know what I mean? >> I take them both if I was single. [laughter] >> I think that's what the movie was about. >> Yeah. >> But dude, I feel like Christmas Jones was like the the ripened fruit. >> I agree. You know what I mean? >> Because she wasn't giving it all away like this. Like that scientist costume

15:09 was a little bit less like this. >> Plus, it was hiding behind like an intellectual facade. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Exactly. [clears throat] She's like, "We need to get these nukes out of here or something." [laughter] >> The people that make Bond movies know how to max out a girl's sexual appeal without doing the obvious like you don't see more of her body. >> You don't see her titties usually. >> Yeah. They make her like whoever's directing it, they're like giving the poise an exact thing >> and it's pretty ████ good. >> Playboy used to be where it was kind of classier. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I got your back. >> They had a magic about it. Yeah. They didn't have ████ like we got oh spreading their ████

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