0:00 our family wasn't really religious at all like my mom was like Christian but my dad would be like don't believe any of that ████ [Laughter] a man of Florida has been arrested after he allegedly shot his Pastor cousin huh during an argument regarding Heaven and Hell oh my God that's the fastest way to settle it that's right well you're gonna find out brother go find out it's always good intentions so he killed the pastor right he shot his passion shot the pastor one who's also his cousin yeah he's going to heaven brother so a 26 year old atheist kashonda Smith got into an argument with his second cousin Jimmy mcgally following a funeral for their family oh ████ at the funeral yeah following following the funeral I don't know Hyman please guys right there yeah
0:51 uh police were dispatched over to Jacksonville Florida on Saturday because a report of a person being shot had been filed report explained investigation revealed that the victim Jimmy mcgally and the suspect kashonda Smith became involved in an argument after a funeral for a family member regarding Heaven and Hell the suspect did not believe in God and the victim was a pastor who is trying to witness it to him and the argument became heated and the Smith went outside in Anger as other family members attempted to calm him down report claims magali age 46 was then shot by Miss Smith as he exited the residence a report goes on to save the family detained Ms Smith until cops arrived and he was arrested and did he say what he told me to do it he wanted to see God I don't think that's what he said but you know that would have been a good Alibi yeah it'd be like well we were experimenting he told me to do it he told me to do it that guy's anger
1:41 management issues man oh man because after a funeral I thought it wasn't anger I thought it was good intentions have him find out it was for science yeah or religion Christian Science Christian Science Christian science science on his end religion on the other have you guys seen those Christian Science buildings yeah what is it I don't have no idea what that is what is Christian Science I have no idea but I just see it all over it was a science of God it's reading room yeah and it would just be a be a Christian Science yeah is there science different just imagine a guy with I'm guessing their science says that the the world started 4 000 years ago but do their magnets work the way our magnets do good question holy magnets they're not even called a bunch of burning bushes over there dude that's what they're doing yeah yeah they're trying to boost looking at holy water under a microscope hide if they're
2:32 trying to recreate Bible things like watch this bush yeah check it's gonna go on fire oh look at that when you get holy water it has to go through Christian Science because when you look in it has to have little crosses beakers are just glasses they're like this is holy water um my Google search of the definition of what Christian Science is is the beliefs and practices of the Church of Christ scientists a Christian sect founded by Mary Baker Eddie and oh so it's just a straight up other religion Christian scientists and members hold that only God and the mind have Ultimate Reality and that sin and illness are Illusions which can be overcome by prayer and faith I agree I'm becoming one what if they're like Christian geology and like Christian biology and all these other offsets Christian kung fu yeah that'll be sick you're like what is this a whole other language yeah dude so is that
3:23 that's another denomination I guess so yeah Christian Science a set of beliefs and practices associated with the members of the Church of Christ comma scientists can't be any weirder than seven-day Adventists you guys should convert just check it out I mean I feel like it's a lateral move it's a lateral movement you just do you ever visit any church stuff or yeah you do if if like there's an event or something yeah I went to my first Catholic Church uh service oh yeah how'd you like it it was it was crazy it was like it was very uh is it because Tiff is Catholic well a family friend they're a Catholic and their mother passed away and then we did the whole like um I guess they do the funeral days I'm gonna ████ butcher this so I apologize in advance and everything was in Spanish so I didn't know what the ████ was going on try your best but they do like I think they do 10 days of prayers after like uh somebody
4:14 passes what do they say in the prayer oh dude it's like a lot of spirits are they are they speaking in Latin and stuff no they're speaking of Spanish but they're doing their prayers and they're saying it over and over again [Laughter] what are some other Spanish phrases oh they started off I remember Feliz Navidad but you know you know you know I've watched Nacho Libre before I've been into a Catholic Ceremony yeah so the whole time I was just giggling and it was at a funeral dude that was my first Catholic thing too it was at a funeral it was like a circle Oh I thought you could say it was nachos but then they kept they kept doing the thing where like they would pray and then everybody would and I don't know they're calling response stuff yeah yeah they keep standing up and then I'm like get up I'm like hella late and then everyone's doing this and I was like do
5:04 I do that I just do it yeah no one taught me yeah exactly so I don't know what the ████ is going on Blasphemous and ████ yeah and they keep standing up and I'm like late I'm like ████ and I'm trying to like catch the patterns of singing okay they said that so that means we stand up now and then I was like okay stand up okay I gotta wait so I was like missing the patterns you're like Eddie Murphy and coming to America when he goes to the game because like we didn't we our family wasn't really religious at all like my mom was like Christian but my dad would be like don't believe any of that ████ no way [Laughter] my mom wasn't really like super religious
5:55 either he's like a part-time Christian yeah I don't even know I wouldn't even say she like would say she was really religious bass probably yeah yeah yeah and uh so my dad would always just be like yeah don't believe me that ████ when I when he took me up nudging you and your mom's talking yeah and like when they brought me to a Christian School like for like two years I don't know what the ████ was going on I had any idea but anyway so at the service like all the ceremonies that they did like all the the guy with the swinging chain and the smoke coming up oh that's cool yeah bro like there's go go from freaking oh see that's Kill Bill I always missed about see I wish our religion had more like swag a little bit Yeah more props dude SDA is like so boring bro because like even protest or the other denominations still have Vans they'll have the mega churches ours was so boring because you can't show off so
6:45 then Catholics have like the ████ old school tradition and it's a beautiful Church dying Jesus and like all this crazy ████ like he's like it's like it looks cool like The Branding is anytime somebody comes in with a little ████ like smoking yeah a little smoke chain and ████ and then they have different outfits for different levels and ████ yeah they would change Cardinals yeah that's like someone's uncle and ████ just in a suit that's right especially have you guys been to a ████ like cathedral in Europe yeah yeah I meant to ████ wow the ████ out of you right you're beautiful you're crazy or whatever like uh we went to a mass so they specifically have the at the time where like the sun comes up and then it goes through like that little hole or whatever the middle of the building and then boom crazy ass ████ Sunbeam like in the middle of the
7:35 ████ in the front yeah it feels holy yeah it feels holy already then when the ████ comes with The Swinging and that's like a tattoo on everybody somehow yeah you're like oh my god I think I'm ████ Catholic holy ████ in the corner with like A's machine a 20K light in the top background action yeah and they have like statues and paintings that are hundreds of years yeah and then you're just like yo that's the history yeah yeah yeah I saw this ████ doing a sermon this Fool's book was like [Laughter] and then you go to a church in a strip mall and ████ and you're like man this
8:25 is right next to ████ Ross and like come on go to church in Canoga Park I know when I was like you know growing up SDA they kind of like condition you as a sort of rag on Catholics they rag on everybody like they basically have ways of making fun of every other religion for being wrong like a Sunday Catholics especially yeah like I was 17 I was dating a girl I was Catholic we went to church together in uh it was Temple City or something and then the whole time like my first time in a Catholic Church all like I know about everything they already do because I I know it through making Duncan on them yeah they talk so as I'm sitting there like I was like so ████ it was just watching all this ████ and then every time they do the chances like oh yeah okay yeah yeah sarcastically saying it like so disrespectful she was like stop and I was like what dude dude they guys are the wrong religion yeah I'm such an ████ they do that the cracker thing
9:15 right where you eat the body of Christ the communion yeah yeah and then like everyone lines up and I was like I was looking at him and I was like yeah I was like dude I was like do I go up and then my mother-in-law's like nah you haven't had your first communion so you can't go dude how many I ate so many crackers and then also everything too is like in Spanish so I'm kind of like in and out I hear a couple words so I'm like I don't know what the ████ is kind of going on and then everyone turns around and then they go like oh hello oh yeah did the peace be with you yeah and I'm like so high and then I shake their hands and I was like and then my wife's like you gotta say hi to the people behind you and I was like oh hello hello be with you and I was like that's kind of cool I like that part that was my favorite part they do that at every church that is fine no it was cool but when we have communion we wash each other's feet that is the dumbest one bro yeah
10:06 and then and this is where our feet fetishes start I use the pastor doesn't put the the biscuit in your mouth everyone has a little biscuit in a Welch's grape juice because we don't drink wine and then when they say go you ████ eat it yeah for me I was the impatient kid I'm like now and Mama's like no not yet now she goes no not yet and then she'll catch me you ████ nibbling on it wow it's all wet it's licking it like I'm not eating it I'm just licking it I'm tasting the body of Christ [Music] foreign [Music]
// end of tape
