0:00 [Music] this is going to be a hard one to figure out but i want you guys to try that we'll figure it out then you get the first crack okay let's go the cambodian prime minister has decided to change his legal date of birth why would he do that holy ████ huh because he wants to be younger so he could hit up the young shorties i think because there's probably an age limit and before he gets out of his power he wants to change it so he can be damn really good that's the most serious as good as mine but that's a good that's a good idea i'm gonna add a little bit a little bit more of a um he wants to date underage cambodian girl i mean this guy's been in power since 1985. well the answer lies in zoolander because he was in it yeah that's a malaysian prime minister he's been a president since 1985. so
0:52 there's no he's been prime minister since 1985. prime minister is basically president yeah well he he pulled some little funny stuff and like has been in power ever since that's that's a very long reign who else has a guess why do you think he'd want to change his birthday because he wants to identify as young he wants to be a sagittarius or something i thought i thought he wanted to do it to like have his birthday land on a holiday or something so you could like that's close that's so that's the closest thing so far what yeah so i think that one's more productive wait he didn't change his birthday to christmas right no but he did change it so that i mean he's 71 but uh the date change would make him 69. and that's why he's not doing it for like yeah he's a hilarious guy who wants to go two years younger yeah why would you do that to yourself his
1:42 legal birthday from april 4 1951 to august 5 1952. to be on a holiday like a cambodian new year or something it's really close you guys could probably guess if you did if you thought one more make it more asian and you'll get it ████ not lunar you know here so you could be the year of the world so he could have he could be the zodiac animal he wants yes oh what is it doesn't he have a ████ country he needs to run no birthday first i mean look i know we're at war but i want this party really really bad i always wanted this dragon tattoo since i was born in the year of the goat i could never get the bear he was a goat tattoo so lame for a prime minister it's the chinese zodiac what so what's the animal yeah what's the cool animal watch yourself rat
2:32 i freak out i forgot it's gotta be like the tiger or the dragon i like how this was changing his birthday that's some boss moves dude for the longest time i felt like i identified more of the year of the tiger so like oh yeah so he wants to be under year of the tiger instead of you're the cow cows aren't cool you imagine getting a cow tattoo like check out my cow hey cows are big though i saw one at the fair i was like damn this ████ big cows are big did you pay a dollar to see the world's biggest cow you know it's all hidden in a tent no but i walked up on when i was like like ████ this thing like you touch it it's just like a brick wall you're just like holy ████ if you paid a dollar to see the world's biggest cow you walk in and you're like where is it and they're like you're in he just it into his ass funny this fool is like he's like a white girl from uc
3:22 santa barbara dude like you know how they're like hella into horoscopes and ████ so this fool's like going through our life and he goes you know people always said that i have traits like a tiger and then every time he does something goes oh you know you're the tiger so it's like you know people like oh yeah i'm a pisces you know i just gonna be doing my pisces thing you know that's why so that's probably what it is like he always felt that that was his thing and then so now he gets to really identify with his he saw american politics it was like i can do that how many like different animals are there 12 12 12. i don't even know i don't even know it's like rat no 12 years wait wait let him name him all let him name him oh it's not because of the monster go ahead go ahead name every one of them we're gonna name every zodiac animal all right rooster yeah all right rooster tiger uh if you get at least five honorary asian cow okay uh and you can say chicken
4:14 just fill the chart with whatever all right rooster cow tiger um i feel like there's like a mermaid okay yeah all right keep going maybe a coin fish or something uh yeah there's a fish you seriously said you said mermaids mermaids even asian yeah ariel was white what she's a redhead a snake is that a snake okay minotaur i'm like pegasus oh pegasus yeah is there a bear yeah bear did i say monkey already monkey eight eight is that it oh there's twelve four more four more asian animals bruce lee um let's see you're of the spare rings like a like an ant or something like that and
5:04 yep a pig pig oh they did have a pig um two more two more now i can't think of animals uh i said bear already right think of mythical creatures unicorn unicorn all right eleven and my little pony and the twelfth and the most important elephant elephant elephant hey dude you got them all right this was so asian good job man you're asian very asian dude i think i got half of them wrong dude there's no mermaid there's no fish you sure there's no ant there's no ants no bears no by gala i think that's a regular horoscope you're the fetus no do you guys actually know all right i'm gonna try it i'm gonna go get dragonite all right dragon mouse cow
5:55 pig okay dragon mouse cow pig snake monkey um rooster um ant yeah we're back to ants ████ i only got seven cocoons i said cow it's supposed to be an oxen oh it's a og let me give you guys another cambo quiz since we're talking about cambodia bring it why is it that a lot of cambodians have two birthdays because during the war they ████ came here and they don't have papers they don't even know none of that ████ so that's why they had to make it up that does happen but the cambodians still in cambodia why do some of them have two birthdays is it like the lunar calendar and then the regular calendar something happened in the 70s that gave everybody two birthdays what oh fight club they they freaking
6:46 destroyed all the credit towers everybody's information was gone so i had to re-register their birthday how did i not know fight club took place in 70s cambodia movies have the answers to everything no it's because the um i might be saying this wrong the khmer rouge regime from 1975 to 1979 they wiped all the records oh fight club so they just had to make another one so everybody's birthdays got ████ up that was a genocide right on their own people would be kind of cool to choose your own birthday what would your birthday be i kind of like my birthday when's your birthday it's september 19th but i like even numbers so i probably would have done the 20th okay that's dead shout out my mom has two birthdays cause she uh she emigrated here from vietnam and they re-registered their birthdays to whatever they wanted for whatever reason so your mom was like i like this date better yeah yeah really she just chose it right i think a lot of asian immigrants or parents that came over here they picked
7:36 their own birthdays because they'd be registered i think my mother-in-law has the same thing too she's from el salvador and her her birthday shaved some years off my mom was always like it's almost my birthday not my real one though i was like okay imagine if you think you're doing some kind of cool hack by like making yourself younger on paper but for the rest of your life people just go you look old shout outs like cambodian pm you're 17. isn't that crazy just a few generations ago our like record keeping wasn't actually that good and it's that easy to just like not know what your real birthday is but now everything is like i know a million checks and balances you know now your birthday's on the blockchain baby yeah you ever think how crazy it is like everybody has social security number yeah you ever think that if you have a baby and don't take it to the hospital we have a baby in your house that baby could have zero social security number and they wouldn't exist that's like
8:26 george washington he didn't have a social security number george washington he didn't have a social security number he had wooden teeth didn't he yeah and fake hair she was also on the dollar bill got lice too nasty needs head shoulders yeah so it's actually pretty common for people in comedy have two birthdays and then choose one or the other wow because the prime minister hasn't done it he's never got around to it until he just picked a new one he's just gonna get in with the program so do they celebrate both birthdays that sounds like fun that's why i think cambodians like to party all the time i'm saying probably popping out there there's like so many birthdays are lit over there but yeah that guy um the prime minister he the reason why he's been empowered to 85 is because once they um they took power they pretty much eliminated all the other opposition so there's no one to run against i was going to make a joke about that but then it turned out to be true you just said it so it's good no let's
9:16 hear the joke still no no i just said he's not going to start with that okay who's there who's there a minister [Music] you
// end of tape
