0:00 [Music] did you guys know that in kuwait you can have a pet tiger or lion you can have pet humans too oh ████ yeah the middle east they're notorious for that ████ thanks mr jabberwocky giving you the japanese he's giving you the jab effects jabba jabba facts so you can just own a line like you have a dog is it that simple though like yeah why are we surprised when we see middle eastern like dudes with ████ straight up tigers and lamborghinis yeah that's true like are we being racist when they when we say like you know there's a lot of instagrams out there with middle eastern guys and just like the robe attire
0:51 and then they have like a ████ lion and a tiger and they're rolling around with them and then they get into their lamborghini and then the tiger's head comes out of the ████ moon roof and then they drive around town but i think i only heard like two words honestly just terrified right now you guys can't hear anything no it just it just i heard tiger it's like leather fish tiger [Applause] it's like michael myers is going to vote that's why kenny sounds the way he does on ████ [Laughter] okay so check this out so there's they actually have security camera footage of a woman that's why jabba walkies don't talk huh oh yeah that's why it's what they think the mouthful is not big enough you know they give their speeches with dance okay so check this out that's why they don't talk you guys really don't ████ hear me no i'm not really
1:46 [Laughter] she's pissed dude you ever had a pissed chick just trying to take you out of a party or something like that holy ████ that ████ was going like a ████ wiggly cat dude like she's ████ brave they must have they're clearly not trying to attack her yeah do they have a prior relationship or yeah that's probably their pet but it's probably everything's like neutralized they probably just like ████ file them down or something like that because i always bleed with my cat's claws but they'll never like try and bite me or anything like that you know what i mean because they know you're cool because and then cubs are nice like that's why they they they have them at the petting like places environmental police in kuwait said that the lion belongs to the woman and her
2:36 father oh i see they helped capture the big cat when it was spotted wandering the streets and it was returned to her it was a loose cat it was a rescue it got out or or it was trying to escape yeah it got out back to its own head what [Music] so yeah that's that's it all right guys 100 hit boys 2022 jk news is all about being equal right so when you put on whatever hat you got to represent the views of each side exactly extremely the question is how do you feel about pet lions i say you should be able to own a pet lion no matter where you live which
3:27 hat get the government out of my life and off of my body government out of your life wait is that though government out of my life because there seems to be quite a few uh with the joe biden hat wares trying to tell people what to do with their life right now don't you think yeah isn't that but isn't this like more government this is more government not so fast because there seems to be a lot of trump people who like to tell women what to do with their bodies oh got the government ████ oh but then there seems to be a lot of joe biden hat wares who want to tell people what to do with their bars too oh wait but let's talk about tiger specifically now the tiger king is actually a maga supporter isn't he yes but he looks like one he didn't uh i don't know do you think he still ████ with him profiling do you think uh the tiger king still likes trump because he didn't uh with him he didn't get pardoned he had a whole ████ limo and everything tiger king jokes alec is a really quote a really big trump supporter right really big
4:18 trump backer it's us okay i think it's one of those one-sided relationships where ████ tiger king loves trump but trump doesn't love him it sounds like a one-sided relationship right to that answer though i think that anything should be not anything animal wise domesticated blah blah can be a pet as long as it's not endangered joe exotic also was disappointed he wasn't pardoned by trump carol baskin says that she loves donald trump as well so tiger people love megan but they also own sanctuaries they're not like hobbyists yeah that's different like being a hobbyist wild animal owner yeah is that more this side or more this side you guys think a lobbyist wild animal you guys you ████ i didn't hear that would you say it depends because for me you could put
5:08 both of those together because corporate democrats and corporate republicans are those okay so they'll have sex so you're telling me that this is actually not this but it's actually this yeah and they just flip it around whenever they want and then and then this why did joe biden continue to trump policies right why why did trump continue obamacare i think they like this too oh yeah they're scissoring dude they're ████ they hate ████ children it's all combined with michael myers yeah that's what it ties it all in las vegas how can we look so happy anthony oh no i'm just uh you shut up i like when anthony claps back at bart yeah that's good i like that tiger i like um exotic pets like i think it's awesome i think okay i feel like yeah i want to get a monkey i'll have a monkey in vegas no way you
6:00 can't i was at a pet store i was at a pet store in vegas this is like 2003 and that's a long time we were buying my sister a hedgehog we crossed state lines from california into nevada to purchase a hedgehog you trafficked an illegal ████ exotic animal allegedly i'm so proud of you steve oh thank you we smuggled it good for you right that's some virginia's ████ man we're trying we're we're right now my family's white trash for sure so we smuggled a hedgehog back into california right for my sister as a pet but when we were at at the store there's a monkey in the cage he's going like that like a little spider couldn't believe what's going on [Laughter] i think he knew that i was kind of a celebrity yeah he's a cool ████ that's steve green from
6:51 ████ recorder he's a bank bus guy he's the consensual guy was the monkey for sale though yeah he's like 5g dude i want a monkey i feel like a monkey is your animal bro like if you were to have an exotic animal it would be a monkey or something it's gotta be a baby chimpanzee yeah and then we're in diapers and ████ yeah but if he becomes too strong and big then i'm gonna have to donate him to the zoo and he's going to miss me and then not really be associated with like the monkeys like so like what do you call it like ████ so sociologized with the other monkeys and ████ so they'll be like so so that's why you can't release them in the wild right because like they're like this fool's weird and ████ if we get to energize the school yeah and you take them to the zoo it'll be even worse because it's like this guy's weird but i'm gonna do that to them so then he'll look forward to my visits when i
7:42 come to the zoo and he goes oh please take me back and i'm like no i can't because you're too big now do you think the monkey would resent you i don't think they have i think his monkey would wear a blue hat dude ████ [Laughter] i want a drama teacher to pass out what joe said as a monologue for all the kids you have to do you have 45 you have 45 minutes to prepare this monologue and circle all the misspellings what a challenge i can't even repeat myself they're just like uh what's this guy's motivation we have no ████ idea i don't know no idea there's a lot of poor he jerks off a lot uh he says he says analogize or whatever so analogize thank you monkeys have to be sociologized into the wild right okay it's true it's a don king quote it's like when you captivate a ████ um
8:33 when you captivate yeah when you captivate a dolphin right and you want to rehabilitate it right what ends up happening is like yeah it it it's like let's say it's hurt like it was caught on the fish nets and ████ so then you you ████ um you know you're talking about a water bottle nose dolphin yeah and then you refurbish this dolphin right you refurbish that ████ refurbishing dolphins that's the next ████ dude it's a reefer that's the new market yo you refurbish it that monkey you saw that monkey on that it was a refurbished ████ monkey it's refurbished and then um you know it's repurposed you know because it's all about sustainability and then you send them you can't just set them back into the wild because they'll be like who's this ████ you know they'll they'll see that all of a sudden there's some racialism exactly unaccepted they'll
9:23 they'll they'll ████ be like yo what's up with this fool's gender i i don't know like who is this for i can't even i don't even know what to make of this dolphin and then so that's why to protect them they have to keep them at sea world class we have some new pages okay and actually get an extra 15 minutes that's true yeah you'd have to keep manchu that's part of the monologue yeah [Music] [Applause] [Music] you
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