0:00 thank you [Music] welcome back to another careful boards where we're working very careful boys today okay so this question actually came to me and Nikki's podcast that I'll tell you a while ago like I want to say like a year and a half ago but it's something that I think about quite often because it came from uh one of our our one of our listeners was I believe it was uh female to male trans and they were asking me they're like hey Steve so like you know I'm you know transitioning right now and I wanted to like I'm younger so I just wanted to have some thoughts like you're one of the only people that I listen to and I'm like oh Jesus Christ but a lot of pressure they're like no I'm curious about like for you what it means to be a
0:50 man like so as I like make this transition it's something that I've already felt like I am already but I'm I'm also getting older and I want to know what you've like for you where it is to be a man and I'm like damn that's the ████ deepest question I think I've ever been asked who's the most masculine person in this room well what did you say to this person first off I went like this and then I said I'm ████ did you ask if that's on patreon uh no I mean honestly I just said to me being in man was always about like from from growing up same ████ looking at examples like watching my dad watching my grandfather it's like when somebody says they're gonna do something you ████ do it and I don't know if that's I'm not saying that's exclusive to men or whatever it's just to me that was always like big for like watching like especially when you know maybe it's a stupid man thing that we do but there is
1:41 something that we do where we like emboss the font while we say something and it's like hey when you say you're gonna ████ do something do it that's what it's that sounds very embossed yeah and you don't have to by the way you don't have to preface it like that you could just do it but for some reason I I had it branded yeah like your word is like your boss yeah you gotta raise an eyebrow and you got to give a very Stern handshake yeah but enough about what I think about it I'm curious about what you guys think that's definitely hard if um if you're not born into a family with a dad that's kind of showing you the ropes I think that's a lot of it usually does come from like Father Figure types that's a lot of the first initial like how to be a man like literal where that comes from but I think every man literally just a product of their peers and the qualities they like in other people men or women so if there's things that you admire
2:31 about someone else and you want to adopt that it's genderless really you know I could end up being more I guess like feminine to what a man thinks just because there were qualities I liked in feminine men or in you know other women it doesn't really matter what do you think Society deems what a man is um you'd have to go to Disney for that and depends on which circle of society you hang out in yeah or which commercial you're watching just just a narrative that you've been hearing lately about what a man is from there were toxic stereotype when the 50s in the 50s it's like smacking a woman in the face to put her into place today is bothering your son all ████ day keep texting him
3:24 that's what it ████ takes huh suck the ████ out of your son one of the one of the strongest things societally is is uh keep your problems to yourself and just deal with it yeah figure it out ████ up and uh you know yeah just do the thing which is like the thing that we're not supposed to tell people to do nowadays anymore yeah yeah so that's ironic but it was how I was brought up so it gets tough it's not it's not it's a reflex you know what I mean sure yeah it's a reflex it's weird I think um I was uh maybe because I also grew up with a sister uh anytime something needed to be physically done it was like important for the boy to do it literally my parents be like boy hey you know what I mean it's like weather's picking some groceries from the car and bring them in the house I didn't have the chance to be like what about her you know what I mean it's like you're the
4:14 boy go like opening up pickle jars exactly sure like whatever it is if it took some sort of like extra physical picture whatever um you don't want the pickle bad enough but I also need to be extreme why do you buy the pickles what don't really want something that's so true they do shake like that and then and then I'm like where's a man would I need one dude why do ████ love pickles so much if they can't even get themselves the shape yeah but I will say I think though those little things as a kid uh subconsciously teach you that thing as an adult too uh that transcends into places like um if there is a a tense situation or like maybe the idea of like an aggressor and you know it's like you and your spouse
5:05 or your family where it's like as the man also you gotta kind of be the first and last line of defense you know what I mean so I feel like that was something that I was ingrained as well I don't think my dad ever like said verbage wise like you have to do this but I think just through like the way that you get brought up you know that that's your role and responsibility it is weird right when there's a noise in the night it's like that's not me dude yeah yeah I'm still scared but it's my job I'm scared s███████ and honestly pancaking my pants right now yeah like I just bisquicked my ████ shorts but what am I gonna do yeah you gotta go do it being a man doesn't mean you don't get to be afraid it just means you still got to go do it you know what I mean push it down still gotta do it push it down and get the job done and that's it what up guys this episode is brought to
5:55 you by audible I'm a big big fan of audible because I love being efficient with my time so every single time I'm driving from Vegas back to LA or La back to Vegas my go-to thing is pulling up my Audible app and what's awesome about it is you can even listen to books or podcasts or original shows offline because you know sometimes when you're traveling you don't always have Wi-Fi and right now a book that I really really love is called Scar and Stripes by Tim Kennedy my good friend and he just documents like his whole upbringing from him being a kid growing up in like the NorCal area all the way to him going to Afghanistan to help rescue people during the entire like Afghanistan Fiasco it's really cool because um not only does he share all these experiences
6:46 and makes you feel very grateful to be an American but also one of my favorite things about audiobooks is that a lot of times the author is the one that's narrating it or reading it so you get way more from the book because you get emotion and a lot of the other things rather than just hearing your own voice and that's the book that I'm reading right now and if you guys want any type of audio entertainment go check out audible because that's literally what they're all about your One Stop shops because they got audible Originals they got podcasts they have books obviously and like I was saying you can check out one new title every single month so it'll keep you entertained so let audible help you discover new ways to laugh Be Inspired or be entertained because new members could try for free for 30 days just go to audible.com off the Record or just text off the Record to 500-500 that's audible.com off the
7:37 Record or text off the Record to 500-500 to try Audible for free for 30 days audible Dot com slash off the Record what's your what's your take on this like like like to bring you in and honestly very curious about what you think about yeah like what you think a man is supposed to well I I grew up with um a brother and a dad and I have leaned more in in that realm so um I would say uh typically it's to be a provider a protector um a leader of sorts um I think that's just kind of like the foundation of what people are typically brought up in as what a man should be or wants to be um but I can't speak for men I'm a woman start laughing
8:28 very brave how do you feel about it it's all about dudes that talk about their feelings all day yeah yeah how do you feel about dudes that talk about women on behalf of women that's all we do it all the time yeah that's fine but we do Applause for that too so yeah yeah uh all day that's the right answer is it just Pockets yeah all day perfect in Boston this ████ spewing these ████ emotions all day what do you think about that what do you think about guys who are criers does that does that allowed to you I mean give me the context what are you crying about Dick Vermeil after an Eagles game and he's like we just did that what it takes out there have you cried out of on a football game like has a game made you cry honestly no but I wish I was out of death
9:21 I really do have you ever cried in any football scenario yeah not even after finishing Remember the Titans no well if you're watching movies I've cried in like MMA and fight scenarios really so uh and an MMA so Anderson Silva who was like the considered widely by a goat by many when he was fighting Izzy which is the up-and-coming star at the time but a very similar style like he's like translating and doing all kinds of crazy ████ when Izzy and Anderson Silva is his Idol so it's almost like a passing of the torch that he has to beat him when he beat him and when they hugged and then Izzy was crying because he doesn't want to be this Idol but he has to be this Idol when Anderson Silva uh whispered in his ear like you're the next one did you cry at ACC
10:12 IO he said you teared up at ADCC I think I did well what was the moment because of AOC 80cc or combat Club it's the Olympics of grappling Sports and it was in Vegas so I had to go and there was a so there's a guy named Cyborg and he looks like a ████ tank freak of nature and he just looks like he'll kill people he's a legend but he's also like mid-40s so I think he's like at the end of his career when he um when he lost in the first round and then he stood up like the entire Stadium got up like because he was just witnessing a legend like but you can tell that the sport has evolved past him so it's like he was a monster of his day
11:02 it's like almost like seeing Mike Tyson getting beat the first time and but everyone was so like gracious to see like we've witnessed your career so the entire Stadium like stood up and everyone gave him a standing ovation even though he lost oh my God you actually just reminded me I did cry during a football thing when Peyton Manning got released from the Colts and he gave his speech and he's like I will always be a cult I was like God damn it got me good God damn do these stories sound weird to you are you like why the ████ are you crying let's not cry worthy to each their own if it that emotional then cry all day about it I also cried during The Blind Side I was
11:52 like oh my God white people were so great they're great are we great answer the guy next to me we're great huh last time you cried Anthony and why to be a man man oh oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you're asking the wrong dude but thank you for for circling back to me Colleen yeah you're welcome I just felt like you know you you would have a good answer you know I don't have a really good answer honestly um because that's such a loaded question a beacon of manhood to you for you or no man in a way yes but also no well yeah yeah I'll say yes but sometimes I I battle with it too because growing up like my dad was in my life but he was always kind of like
12:42 off to the side you know like he was always kind of like doing his own thing so I think I was mostly influenced by my sister's growing up because I was the youngest and I had two older sisters they were like six and seven years above me and my mom so for me like earlier in my life I felt like I related more with women all the time anyway it wasn't until I started training and like trying to fight and compete that I was like finding myself in rooms full of men you know so and with all the guys I train with I did find little aspects like what Ryan talked about where oh I really admire this thing about this guy I really admire this thing about this dude and I would take bits and pieces from everybody and they're all different walks of life all kinds of guys different professions but I would always just kind of be like a sponge and just try to soak up what these guys had to say about like it maybe wasn't directly
13:34 about like being a man or anything like that but those are things that you observe of how their character is how they treat other people how they act in the grand scheme of uh women children and everybody else so I think a lot of ways I I do agree a lot with what Ryan said about how it's like what you admire what you think is maybe within your moral compass or what is right or wrong and you kind of just take what you think you admire and then you move on with that so I think that summed it up the most for me to have a strong philosophy a personal philosophy a moral code yeah because then man or man or woman like yeah there's differences of course but I don't think they're that different from each other right like I mean I still can't open up a pickle jar I know and that's a problem right that's a problem and I have a grip string Pro a grip strength training
14:24 program that we'll have and we can make that yeah it's only for men it makes modifications but it's that Lionheart Jiu Jitsu so like you know ████ oh she didn't even think about that no but yeah I think it's a combination what about chivalry I believe in it yeah I believe in it too I I get the door for Nikki dude that ████ will ████ scream me and screaming we'll be somewhere she's taking my ████ head off about something I mean this was years ago I do have a particular memory of this just took my ████ head off about something and then like she still like goes the door and I still open the door and ████ we'll let her again close the door because to me that's just what it's all about it's about respect that's what it's about it's not because girls can't get doors I don't know what that's about with social media these days I can get
15:15 the door it's like yeah we all know you can open a ████ just say thank you yeah well you don't even have to say things are it's like that you should expect it to me you should expect this like it's just like it's the thing like it's like yeah you know you get the door doors are dirty you're being polite like yeah that's it guys do it for other guys too yeah I hold the door open for everybody and if you know they don't say thank you I say ████ you close the door and you say walk I think I think I just don't do it for handicapped people because I'm like you shouldn't have even been in here yeah they take too long to get to the door use the button I'm sorry don't you have your own door give your own little door down yeah [Laughter]
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