0:00 [Music] anybody here a fan of piranhas i love pride those are cool yo piranha tempura is the greatest ever no really weird oh i had all of you guys not all of you i was down i was really down i was like it's really good but it sounds pretty good i'm sure amazon cultures eat piranhas why wouldn't they of course they do right why would they be super down it could be like it's so funny why would i eat a catfish and not a piranha ah very true you know what i mean you know i smuggled and sold piranhas yeah he's a he was a piranha dealer they're illegal you're a problem you didn't hear the story i told this story here i want one yeah i would put it in my bathtub oh this was me in heist you got to buy a bunch of them though i just want one high school yeah i want to get it really big i'm going to overfeed it all like exotic fish yeah but piranhas were were highly
0:50 valuable because well not bad they're actually cheap but they're they're highly sought after because in high school everyone wants a ████ piranha they're like you got a piranha and then like you could buy a bag of them for like i don't know like less than a buck because the best way to do it was you get them this small and then you raise them and then you get it to full size and then like you could sell them like i don't know like 10 bucks or whatever and then when people come over they'll be like yeah i want those ████ piranhas but like watch this and you just throw goldfish they ████ destroy that ████ you throw some like you know like some rat or some ████ they ████ them up you know and you're like that's a piranha and then sold if that's the best easy you're like just bring your baby brother over and look like how many can i get and i'm like well you know and then you just sell them out and then you just keep repeating that process dude wow yeah
1:41 i'm gonna start selling you are such a business story train your piranha were you able to train your piranha to do tricks nah because i i mean they would go it was a piranha farm you know like just shorter yeah just had a bunch of fish tanks in different stages and you just keep raising where would you source that you would get him from at the time he went to the amazon by himself when he was in high school amazon.com there was a lot of piranha traffic original amazon.com used to only sell piranhas that was their first item that they sold which they had over the market it was like it was books and piranhas silk road for piranhas dude our friends our friend's dad his good friend owned a pet store and it was literally like one of those like movies where in the back they had the special ████ so like what else do we have animals children no like yeah illegal illegal
2:33 fish adrenochrome homo sapiens it was like goldfish ████ frogs whatever right when you go to the back they had the ████ arowanas the the special kinds that cost like thousand dollars per per each one the one that you see at the chinese uh restaurants and ████ are those illegal to sell those are legal in america some of them are yeah the ones you see is silver arowana the asian arowanas are illegal here there are uh and there's predator fish called like snakeheads they're they're illegal here is it because they're invasive species well yeah if they if they run out i mean if they get out if they run i mean um they'll get yeah they'll ████ some ████ they'll mutate yeah but the way they literally they'll start running they should get thighs ████ vicious though it's cool like you throw crickets in there and they go
3:23 it's ████ cool man damn so there was a mass piranha attack that resulted in a teenager having uh their toe bitten off and 30 others being injured oh whoa ████ no was this in the wild or was it that somebody's illegal they jumped into a school of piranha fish and we didn't expect anything to happen i mean low-key yes yeah yeah that's kind of how it works i thought a prankster brought like a trash can full of product dumping in the pool name's joe got you senior prank oh dude piranhas are ████ dude i used to always do this to like make people go whoa and then so like after they're well fed right they don't care you could stick your hand in there clean stuff and whatever and they just run away from you because they're so scared that definitely yeah but they were leaving they were living that human lifestyle they're waiting for you to feed them oh yeah it became they became like the wally
4:14 like they became all obese in their electrical chairs lifeguards at santa fe uh piranha river rushed to the aid of family it's called piranha river called piranha these guys are dumb here's the dog that's what you get yeah they had the rush of the aid of families and swimmers when a storm of piranha started attacking in shallow water including the 30 injured victims was a teenage girl who has since been taken to the hospital for emergency skin grafting treatment on her toes it's been reported that other victims went to a nearby hospital to have injuries to their fingers and hands and all that stuff treated as well they hit the limbs first the phalanges i should call my dad ask him if he's ever worked on a piranha plant mario [Laughter]
5:05 my dad's a hand surgeon i know he's operated on people that have been bit by monkeys no way yeah because they have pet monkeys and he's like you're an idiot you have a pep your ████ finger and they bite your finger and they're like you know oh there's a diagnosis you're an idiot he's like oh so what happened well dr monkey bit my hand he's like well you're a ████ idiot that's what he said in my head that's probably not what he said that's what you say to me for sure that's ████ tight but at a certain point time you have to say this stuff or you're or you're not responsible i mean he is a doctor so he has to eat and you know what the ████ are you doing his medical advice and his medical advice is that he's that problem that person is probably a ████ idiot i mean ████ piranha piranha river was really the name yeah so sergio barrardi a union representative for lifeguards in the river confirmed
5:55 that the attack they have life claims it was certainly unexpected blaming it on high temperatures in shallow waters because people usually do go into the river but it's called piranha river it is i think it's it's honestly they don't have tests where they know where the piranhas are coming around in brazil i'm not going to swim at shark beach walk down sex offender boulevard where's the federal bar it's valley valley view orange shore oh ████ kidding it's nice i live next to that i'm a sex offender that's why you have such a low mortgage we got death valley out here in california have you ever googled the sex offenders that live around you i have yeah i've done that there's a website there's a website yeah because it's public information check my neighborhood bro what's the website anybody near you ah there's a website what's it called it's a sex offender
6:46 uh dude can you believe this to find the sex offenders i first have to find the tractor you're stumped stumped you're stumped they're trying to capture the sex offenders halfway in my ass come on man i'm sorry okay we're gonna search a five-mile radius we're gonna include transient offenders i don't know what the ████ that means homeless offenders got it okay oh ████ bro no way this is like the times square of steps what's the blue ones me yo sh magmas holy ████ exclusively
7:43 oh yo bro there's one guy who lives literally one block away from you they probably my neighbor so you know on on on hill and route 66 dude you better watch oh it's an asian dude yo bro it hasn't got his name pictures y'all sex offenders [Music] this uh this lifeguard dude at the ████ piranha river says we cannot stress enough the importance of heeding the warnings of the lifeguards especially families with children now we have seen the damages these piranhas can do when the lifeguards see one or two of
8:34 the people being bitten they automatically order people out of the water but often this action is not enough or efficient because of the amount of people in the area and on sunday afternoon the lifeguards on duty were rushed off their feet trying to deal with all the people who had suffered bite injuries at the same time these fish tend to move in shoals so we get a lot of simultaneous attacks we didn't expect what happened to occur before summer even starts here if people take a quick dip in the water they should be okay but the best thing is to take advantage of the showers that are installed on the beach so yes ████ go into this ████ piranha space all the time called piranha river but it's usually expected that in the summer warmer waters when the water gets shallow that's when it happens but but maybe climate change you know yeah global warming maybe i don't know guys we gotta cool this ████ down open up that freezer here y'all simultaneously open up our freezers and ████ refrigerators yeah you could dump ice into the oceans yeah
9:24 yeah we had done some ice in the oceans yeah i thought about that how about 24 7. ice cream jazz block called antarctica that we could probably chip away at just melt just keep but then then miami's gonna sink miami's already sinking long island is gone you know what actually did ████ me up didn't they say uh both venice uh not venezuela venice like italy and also the taj mahal are sinking and eroding in such ways well i think that's because the taj mahal is on like on swamp land is that what it is yeah apparently like less than a hundred years i think if i remember venice is less than 100 years and taj mahal is like less than like 20. i better go yeah sometimes what is that church there they'll be covered in water there's water damage because i mean i was pretty close i went to this place in um it's called the venetian in in las vegas yesterday i was
10:15 drowning too were you drowning in margaritas because they got those big ████ things bro ████ tattoos then you hit a buffet first trap dude i was like italy italy this is good so [Music]
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