0:00 yeah but if you imagine like I've never heard the sentence doesn't that's a baby [Music] and welcome to a special edition of JK news today we have Hannah in the hot seat everybody put your hands together [Applause] get the UK it's been a long time coming dude this is this is a big deal that you're here it is and if I had to choose I'm gonna ████ my mom why would you like your mom holy ████ it's the Bart's cold oh Christ she's oh my God ████ your mom these Brits are smart I mean she's had four kids she
0:51 probably wouldn't notice oh true sorry Mom is there a ████ ing dude we gotta rewind a little bit because Bart still needs to to send it off with a cold that's the hottest star ever that was amazing sorry Mom she's a wonderful woman actually yeah I think she would be actually a wonderful she's very nurturing yeah so I can imagine she would like ease me through it like don't worry about it Hannah we have to do this and I think I think we could turn it into a bonding moment I think it would actually make us stronger as a mother and daughter it'd make you guys good only fan star that's what I'll say especially because we're both Ginger oh sure and Kazumi's doing mom action content too and it's making a lot of money mom actually yep pretty cool oh man we need to chill it down a bit that is the most married guy reaction today yeah yeah I love action
1:41 huh that being said yeah we uh normally started off way less fun uh because we try to delete our subscribers right away but we're gonna go back into that terrible formula we're gonna have Bart start with a colder question and uh this is where people click away as Steve Green says can you sing Happy Birthday in a Vietnamese accent [Laughter] American accent dude you don't want to hear myself what's worse the first two lines or how many lines you should get a jaw already I feel my ancestors just like dying happy birthday no it's not even right it's added more British than usual
2:35 you're good at copying Valley girls though okay to the valley girl one happy birthday just just lean into it a little bit more yeah [Music] that's Vietnamese that's what you all sound like to me like just nasal yeah just nasal I can't breathe out of my nose oh really oh ████ you don't win many fights you don't watch the show then oh you don't know my ████ I don't watch it that much if you try to sing Happy Birthday and it came out happy birthday happy birthday she sounds like a speaking spell like wait what the ████ it's been good oh my God okay where are we at oh yeah it's a hot seat let's ask some real hot questions let's get it going y'all Nick go ahead start off make it juicy come on where did you meet Joe
3:26 oh I really want to know Instagram yeah where did you guys where did you guys meet in person for the first time y'all Airbnb right that's so sexy yeah I came from work and he was waiting outside for me and then we went upstairs I threw her in the ████ shower and we ████ yeah he made me shower do you think that's rude wait he made you yeah wait you guys ████ in the first place in the first five minutes we did that thing where you like oh I'll give you a tour but like you know he's like oh yeah yeah I ████ Leonidas kicked their butt into the bathtub yeah he made me shower that's ████ I didn't make you do nothing wait this is her Hot Seat man yeah I'm not sure where the story is but I'm gonna believe the hot seat you should yeah I walked in he was like that's Josh I was like hey Josh
4:16 he's like this is the kitchen I was like oh that's nice this is you know the bedroom I was like oh lovely bedroom and that's my dick yeah basically was he like and this is the shower see if it works he was like I don't want to be rude but I didn't say crap I didn't say that that sounds like you bro we actually got in the shower together and then you know what and then you know what um I was jet lagged and I was hungry and yes he was was it grumpy way so he ate we went to Italian food yeah we did I didn't want to go I was like quite happy just to say and he was like no I'm hungry so he made us get out of bed maybe put clothes on man he's making you alive how Okay do we need to maybe slow down a little bit how did you got you guys didn't go like all right this is my name hi this is my name
5:07 oh yes we did yeah or did you guys build up over a text or like did the relationship build to shoot yeah we were like messaging casual chat in Utah no sexy messaging at all no and then one day we were talking and we were saying that it would be really interesting to like write an erotic fiction but half from the men's point of view and then the other woman's point of view so like it's the same story who brought that idea at first oh 100 me because I want to write erotic fiction oh oh tonight yeah so I was saying it'd be really interesting to do like the same story but the woman tells it and then the man tells it and then we were that little until we should just ████ are we allowed to ████ spend 30 seconds uh we should just ████ and then both write the story and then that led into just sexting and then little did you know the years would turn out to be
5:57 hentai when it comes to my version It's just straight porn I do look like Alexa um I mean pale works but yeah I didn't know what she looked like he didn't to be fat he could have been talking to a guy at this point he didn't know my name and he didn't know what I looked like he was just sexting is that what he wanted oh it's her story by the time I was sexting you I already knew what I look you looked nope he didn't yes I did you gotta wait no you gotta wait till the end you gotta wait till the end for any uh rebuttal yeah write down your notes if you want to go back to those fine this is her time because at this point Fox purely text messages no and then maybe the odd photo but that could have been catfishing yeah he doesn't really knowing no we had a video called we hadn't spoken when you say like the odd
6:47 photo like what kind of photo you were talking about no he would send that yeah overruled overruled overruled I could have been catfishing you 100 no you didn't have their Instagram but there was no like selfies or anything like that on it oh no memory so who reached out to who no no I got a better question uh Ginger goldfish just shut down my question dude that's a bad question first time having sex okay with Joe you guys just met within five minutes you guys are ████ obviously you have zero expectations yeah so when you guys first do it yeah what was the first thing that made an impression or good or bad that good or bad was the impression or I was like that's interesting what was the first thing I
7:38 I'm saying this genuinely and not because I love him yeah the most handsome penis I've ever seen in my life oh yeah let's take a look Joe Joe you're supposed to say no [Laughter] let me show them there's blushes blushy dude [Laughter] get it up get it out get it out no yeah let me see let me hold it let me hold it no no you really love me so you saw it describe it you saw it and you're like and you're like wow yeah because it's it's hard we've got a pen and paper
8:32 oh it's a smiley face yeah draw a piece of tape he's got paper he's got paper oh we got paper damn like 50 pages just write the number four and we'll get it wait Did you see it hard or soft it was hard I was in the room it's fine she designs you can't say anything yeah dude this is her Hot Seat man it's bigger than that it's not to scale no that's too small she said birthday guy she didn't say the size she said it was handsome Tom Cruise is handsome but he's not big
9:23 he's impressed you see those eyes look at those expressive eyes look at the accuracy of how one ball holds longer than the other really a little bit Yeah but I don't mind that because it's like I think you know nothing nothing perfect is really beautiful absolutely it's the floors that really created oh is this supposed to be like one lower anyway she made it half like so small no it smells small I think we all got that all right so this is actual size what I really enjoy about it that you'll notice is the symmetry of the cylinder so all the way up that's a two inch dig baby uh maybe you've got a lovely sized penis wait so your first view of it was from underneath yeah just in case you're not share of scale this is the iPhone 13 Pro Max
10:14 [Music] on the scale iPhone 13 Pro Max let me let me yeah but if you imagine like I've never heard the sentence that's a two inch baby who's ever said that no what kind of situation is that between the arrows that's my hand wow okay okay that's good so okay happy and it can't be inaccurate notice immediately about his penis was it was completely symmetrical top to bottom wow and then also the proportion of the
11:04 helmet area also the girth of the actual shaft there's no bin it was it was honestly there really is no Bend no Bend and honestly the color from top to bottom the same color no way I have oh wait I have what's called a bonsai dick what does that mean what the ████ is that I shaped it like I shaved it as I was growing like you know how this is going you just you know how they have the they boxed the kitties or whatever and they shape the thing it's a it's a culture box the kitties yeah I think we should make dildos that's amazing yeah that's what I know that's a two-ish deal though make him wear it so we see how it looks on him yeah maybe we can cut this one out and then like they put it to scale like just stand up bro stand up stand up oh that's
11:54 sad yeah just fold it right there there you go it's a perfect heart it looks like a key underneath it is like a lovely heart wow oh wow it's really nice it was a really lovely penis it's got a real winter joke oh my gosh not a drop of Smeg not a drop very clean real clean day yeah we did shower before though but I have a lot of pre-cum though what do you mean like all the time yeah I drool a lot just do not from my mouth I got a question yeah it's getting really hot yeah I'm like Jesus what does Joe do that pisses you off pisses me off yeah let me put this on so I can hear ████ ████ where the foot did you get that
12:44 two things come to mind okay one he doesn't let me eat in bed which I think is disgusting Behavior he doesn't let you eat no it doesn't let me shut up shut the ████ up this is my time to talk okay it doesn't let me eat in bed on what grounds what does he say the reason is why you shouldn't do it I mean it's logical it's because he doesn't like bits in the bed what kind of stuff do you want to eat in bed wait so you sleep in bed Nando's you eat some nandos yeah anything in bed in bed he doesn't like wait you would like so you like having ████ crumbs and ████ and then sleeping I'll still be able to smell it I like to have a bit of sauce you know it's a midnight snack she wants to dust her mouth lemon and lemon and Herb sheets and almond croissant in bed yeah I'll not be lovely a nightmare too you said two this
13:35 doesn't annoy me anymore because I've learned to use it to my advantage oh but what he does sometimes having conversations with him is like it's not a phone call it's a text message so you'll say something to him and it registers and you'll get an answer in like 10 minutes yeah that's about right because he's clocked it in he's just not replied to it yet what do you mean wait she's verbal yeah so like you know how you have a phone call and you get like immediate yeah his work's more like a text message it goes to a queue yeah kind of like he he registers it it's buffering so you ask him hey do you need anything from the supermarket he's just telling you about his day and then a 10 minutes later he's like can you bring some toast please yes uh why it's useful is because you can just brain dump and he absorbs it all and then just through the day you get answers but very thoughtful ones though right yeah and he he thinks it through and it comes at
14:26 random points too is it usually in like a feudal Japan story that it comes back in because that's what we get maybe like you'll be having a ████ or something he'll open the door and be like and then just respond something you said like two days ago having a ████ it's useful because you can just brain dump it yeah and then eventually you'll get the response I know what the combinations of the lock is yeah yeah so you just got to learn how to use it at first I was confused because I was like is he just not listening to me because he's not responding but he's looking me in the eye you know what I mean yeah and then like two days later I'm like okay I see how this works uh that's good that you've adjusted to it I'll wear the uh 14 a minute and 54 seconds part where you know we turn up the heat a little bit Joe don't say anything just okay uh have you ever talked about uh children with this thing oh this thing yeah yeah probably gonna have like four probably
15:17 gonna have four yeah whoa I got pot and come do you have enough pre-cum for that he has potent cover that's more than enough are there things in terms of like a a future life concept together where like yeah maybe you guys have had disagreements or haven't come to an understanding yet no I think we're both just curious people so we're kind of up for anything the the end goal for me is we have a castle probably in Scotland or Wales we're Lord and Lady like I want it officially on our passports wow how do you do that he's looking up castles in Japan right now for 39 000. I've got multiple yeah and then just bunch of kids yeah but we're not really looking after them like we're giving to my parents yeah yeah I told you she wants the bad and kids like me yeah I think that's the
16:08 best if we like them Hawaii if we don't England put them in the cold old boarding school cool something like that but yeah like four kids because he needs to repopulate Japan you know yeah yeah that's true it's a real issue yeah but you're just not sending them there it solves the problem the economy still takes what do you think uh Joe loves about you the most um it's hard to choose huh all right you're giving her no time um did I eat anything I think that was mostly the compliment he gives me that's funny because you started off vegetarian you just broke me I think what he likes about me is the things that he's changed
16:58 about me oh he takes credit for those he's trying to save you you know yeah he's got to say you know what's funny is David was saying like you've been so deprived of flavors for so long that now every single food he likes watching her eat because she looks like she's enjoying it for the first time because she really is and David lives through your experience yeah if it's a feta yeah oh yeah he is he loves to eat but back to Joe what have you discovered is Joe's favorite kink I'll probably be our stuff but I think everyone knows that right yeah I mean even my mum knows that because she heard and talk about it in a video it depends what that means for me like his ass or your ass both oh both I guess but I'm not as into it as he is oh I just wanted to pretend like she likes it yeah he just likes a little bum lick yeah
17:48 it's nothing like guy actually in bed just like sex very Japanese of Emma I know little bum lick that's pretty hardcore really yeah for a lot of people they're squeamish who it's an ass in the room [Laughter] that's a good question who's licking ass in this room I have like ass yeah I mean I gotta you kind of even on accident it'll happen oh yeah because you're just like playing around in the area I don't like my ass getting lit oh really definitely not why not it's shame probably yeah you just feel bad it tickles mine's ticklish and shy yeah Catholic no I might have Catholic sensibilities I
18:38 think you do are you Catholic do you what's what's your religious upbringing and or religion right now uh religious upbringing is pretty unusual for the UK we were pretty religious Christian when I was a kid one Grandad was a pastor one was a reverend so we were like pretty hardcore yeah but I have no sexual shame so I don't really understand what your problem is well I just you know it's not shame necessarily it's just more like um you know poop comes out of my butt and I just don't wanna yeah all the time ever since they showed it to me I can't stop watching it um no but I just don't want anyone I don't want my my wife's mouth near my butt dude that's crazy what if it's just your homies that's cool you want a homie's mouth what's the most I want her mouth on
19:28 everything if I could she's just this is the most romantic thing yeah that Joe's having done for you romantic he's actually very romantic see let me tell you something what yeah yeah her hot seat thank you I taught him to be romantic he didn't believe me oh really yeah I'm not allowing you to take credit for that so let's name an example uh give us an example where he was romantic he parked in the shade so I didn't get sunburned yup I think that's romantic that is romantic he's very considerate very considerate he's very thoughtful like he tries to think of like nice things to do one time I tell you what he did we drove up a mountain with a picnic and we watched the sunset in the back of the car wait I'm starting not to believe this though because your advice to Anthony for Valentine's Day was the complete opposite of what
20:18 she's doing are you lying to our fans it's about your personality it's not because when did I do that was it a special day I don't remember there you go it was surprised she's like it was March 14th oh ████ oh ████ every big day's on the 14th of every month I have a question for you oh Joe's got a question I got a question for you yeah all right what did I get you for Christmas these shoes I just took your card no that's not a real present I was telling him a few more things too yeah I mean if we're actually I actually got a few I got a few bits um the element of surprise yeah she probably bought a bunch of stuff that
21:08 I'm unaware of but she she asks me even though she doesn't need to but then the thing is she got me a paddle board it was very thoughtful I didn't do a damn thoughtful thing ever and then but then she still keeps calling me romantic so I'm like I could just be myself and I'm lucky that's beautiful that's cute you're romantic Joe you're like Joe Nancy but I don't ever do it on the days that I'm supposed to do it that's better though because if you're just doing it when you have to do it that's not romantic surprise that's true have you had an argument that you haven't been able to resolve yet like how he wants all of your children to be Seventh-Day Adventists okay but not on a Celtic seventh day but I argument we haven't resolved other than the eating in bed thing that's the biggest one it really annoys me I'm not
21:58 gonna lie you really are still fighting I mean we fight though we fought yesterday yeah but I can't remember why no but you're lecturing me on the plane and I'll send her like all ████ up lecturing on the plane yeah I I but then after a couple hangry fighting and then after they eat they're like cool kid and we're like laughing about it like that that was us but that was I thought I thought he was being too hard on himself uh well she was lecturing me about how I thought about myself yeah but we were fighting about it because I was like you're a good person meanwhile someone in the middle seat's like guys hurry up regardless of Joe just for yourself what's something that you hope uh to accomplish in life
22:49 brexit too you guys should have asked her more about her because it's talking about uh just said regardless of Joe we have to do a part to me I swear to God every yeah what do you do part two you guys talk about me too much it's just the dynamic is too powerful we gotta ask you know but part two is coming up for sure I don't know if I have like a specific like one goal there's a lot of collective things not I just don't want to have a boring life that's my biggest fear it's just looking back and being like that was ████ boring I feel that can I tell you guys something she has a very exciting life and you should talk more about her instead of us and you know we'll just have to save it for part two guys for sure this war is a
23:39 part two ████ that's so funny
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