0:00 [Music] an american engineer is still held captive by the taliban two years later i hope he was a civil engineer he was he was a civil engineer doing work for uh the afghani people good cause if it was a software engineer i think the taliban would be like make a virus so what are they saying instead make a bridge but we got a norton anti-virus right that still works it doesn't work or maybe he's like you need to hack them you need to hack them that was that one wasn't it funny though when they came out with a statement condemning the invasion he goes guys this is no time for war that's russian but like oh it's russia remember when he was
0:50 all the taliban said yeah they mean the ████ ukraine innovation they're saying they're waving the finger at them yeah they're seeing it with the with the russian you should say that because yeah the taliban is trying to legitimize themselves yeah and uh so they've had this guy captive for two years um and a lot of the criticism from other countries are like hey you guys are never going to be legit if you keep this prisoner like let him go already what if they have a live stream and they're treating him so well sounds like a north korean thing that's that's the way to do it i mean americans took nazis to help us so yeah like that's how we had the space program for our science our science is so good dude yeah our cia they were like into like cancer research like they were like really heavy like trying to create cancer did they like get pieces of land here as well in order to
1:40 like live like a native american that doesn't work american uh i don't know what you're asking like like a nazi reservation yeah like did they get like no they've gotten into the highest ████ positions of government and ████ it's called operation paper clip not even a ████ conspiracy it's open to disclosed ████ like then that's what the title winner von braun founded nasa and he was a huge nazi he was nancy yeah the guy from october sky it is kind of interesting did he come up with a rocket no he found he just was the founder of nasa he was like the guy at the top of the chain but yeah point is the taliban need to be able to allow somebody to get to the top of the chain if they're going to take them captive that's true they have one condition on releasing this guy what do you think it is okay you must juggle with four balls which is really four is really hard because they've never seen four yeah
2:30 they're like what they're like i will let you go at four balls and do you think they show him a video of like another guy doing it like see you it can be done it's impossible what's wrong with this guy some guy just dropping it do you have to go to the circle method when it's four you just got to keep it right what i know is you have two balls and then it they're actually like this you big in a juggler there's something disturbing about that can you show us again like this two balls two you don't have to juggle two balls or holding them any other reasons they'd let this sausage go i'm gonna go with the four ball juggling that's it i think that's a good answer i'm gonna say they want to see a magic trick that's true he doesn't have his plastic thumb though how's he gonna do it they probably just need to be um a uh kind of like a spokesperson or the
3:21 face of some sort of propaganda campaign i'll let you go but you have to say we treated you nicely what if he was like all right you have to get my instagram page to 10 000 followers help me with my my brand what if they're like you need to figure out a way for us to smuggle drugs between countries like i cannot call judges we need a new way to do this that's the closest answer there are rumors to a new way steve's the closest but yeah here's a video that just uh surfaced of that hostage um basically pleading they released this video right here tonight for the family of a lombard man kidnapped in afghanistan two years ago please release me release me so that i may be reunited with my family his acting is great this new video of mark frarix was
4:11 obtained damn he looks like he aged in it he claims it was filmed back in november ferrix was working as an engineering contractor in kabul when the taliban kidnapped him in january of 2020. his family is now urging president biden to help bring him home doing a magic trick yeah the dove i saw it there it is yeah so his family's pretty pissed at the bite administration not doing more to like get him out of there it's been two years and the thing that they uh the taliban said they'll um exchange him for they want spam spam yeah they want spam he looks like clay from sons of anarchy he's a cool looking dude but yeah the um they want america to release an afghani drug kingpin being held in a new hampshire prison oh ████ they want their
5:02 drug kingpin back what do you guys think do you think that's a fair trade they want to release this guy wow that guy looks scary anybody who has kingpin in their name that sounds gangster there's got to be a better picture of him than that man what does he sell like opium or like heroin he was a drug trafficker opium's their biggest crop there oh dude he i he imported 50 million dollars worth of heroin into new york god damn wow damn he's not a small fry that's tough so they they want to do a little trading trade that's that's a that's a tough trade we're like definitely uh you know selling the dip when the taliban got your back like that that's crazy come on bro he's one of us maybe he helps fund them probably if he got caught once don't you think he can't go back to america and do it again
5:53 that's gonna everyone's gonna know who he is here's what sounds funny it's like his name is bashir nurzai and he's at this point he's already served 17 years he's an old dude that can't really do anything do you think they just want to get him to kill him because he turned informant after oh you're ████ me oh oh that's petty that's crazy how it's petty dude he uh he cooperated with the government by providing intelligence and helping recover weapons from the taliban for years so why did you tell us that he wanted he had to do a magic trick or some ████ i i'm just a copperfield fan okay i mean he was he made a dove up here a white dove you know to be fair before you added that informant information a part of me wanted to side with the idea of trading making that trade regardless so you're a taliban supporter we do not negotiate with terrorists yeah we don't negotiate
6:44 with terrorists i love how quickly you can be re-categorized uh it's just kind of a meme i guess i think biden would negotiate with terrorists well they do do they do the iran under the table is that what biden tells the family he's like can you get my dad out we do not negotiate with terrorists and he's like oh ████ he's like yeah that's pretty much rather than you know obviously like publicly say like maybe we'll trade they're not they're not addressing any of that but they are publicly saying come on taliban this isn't you anymore like you guys are trying to be a legit government you got to just let him go so that you could start from like you know being a legitimized it's turning a new leaf yeah right so like we see that you want your kingpin back but come on you're trying to turn new leaf anyway just let the guy go right yeah we do not negotiate returns they actually have been letting people go like uh
7:34 they have let other hostages go during this time really you think they'll let them go well i mean the other guys that they let go they didn't have like a leveraged thing they wanted they weren't like oh we'll trade these two guys for like two guys yeah they weren't an american magician they were just like uh we need our american magicians like a pizza maker or something like that dude imagine they're like hey look a pizza maker they're like we want the mind freak i think biden would make that trade you give us chris angel mindfully we want ████ and liam right now we're like we'll not give up he's too hot right now come on man he's too big of a staple in vegas crossing a line right now taliban what about penn teller yeah you could say you could take teller this is biden's actual quote this is what he said he said the taliban must immediately release mark before it can expect any consideration of its aspirations for
8:25 legitimacy this is not negotiable and he's going like this yeah yeah he's waving his figure out i don't know anything about the military but i'm wondering we're not going to monologue about the military let me set it up okay so i don't get burned but when they ran away from the afghanistans right and then all those weapons all they forgot it there right the arms donated they never went whoops let me go back with my ████ fighter jets and all the millions of dollars of my own equipment and ████ get those things back whoops i forgot it you know like when i ████ forget something and i go oh my phone let me drive back and get it you know especially if like the dudes like
9:16 are less armed than i am and they don't know what the ████ they're doing like can't you just ████ kill them we're gonna leave it here they just left it peace out that's true because people are like hey we got stuff there and they're like i know see you later we're talking about the plane now but they say see you later and then they go on tv and they're like oofy doofies that was uh big time oofy yeah i just love how short this was like talked about like that whole move that's crazy it's so crazy it just was like we were gonna go back got lazy like we knew we were gonna leave it there for six or seven months we knew we're gonna leave it look the government is just dumb they're not corrupt they're just dumb if you watch the fox news
10:08 they're so stupid they're just so dumb why is buying so stupid it was that hundred like hundreds of millions of taxpayer money and arming the enemies and yeah it wasn't taxpayer money it was it was weapons yeah there's ████ helicopters and planes and ████ tanks and ████ thousands of rifles s███'s crazy so dumb we just keep messing up we just keep messing up oh oh i forgot my weapon [Laughter] big goofy doofy do
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