0:00 thank you [Music] thank you everybody for tuning in to another episode of just kidding news we have our host Anthony [Applause] oh thank you Jason and let's give it up for our guest Today Jason hey so much for having me why are you looking at before hey you said that weird you said that weird guy oh the way Jason's momentum just rolls right off of a cliff and dies is so crazy what do you mean die because like you start and it's like let's go dude people really love that they go one of the most like funniest comments about you is I love the way this guy tells a story like he doesn't know what's gonna
0:50 happen don't laugh don't laugh he doesn't even know what's gonna happen I do know dude you'll be saying ask me anything right now halfway you'll be saying half the word yeah at the end of the sentence yeah and then change it right away to something completely different yeah you changed it completely different it's like I never did what are we talking about I have never done this why are you bulldozing me yeah it'll be like that okay speaking of questions change anything by the way it's great thank you so is that prompt for the day all the fans want to know this about you okay okay all right when you're in the mood how do you get your partner in the mood as well um that's a good question I have a question for you as well no that's the question Jason ████ Riddler this segment Works dude here's the
1:41 question he's like okay that's good ladies first yeah dude come on bro hey chivalry yeah yeah yeah I try to do sugar all right yeah trying yeah I did my best I appreciate it thank you thank you well done uh so I go and she's what what is she doing give me I don't you're in the mood and she's washing dishes she's in the kitchen she's doing some chores and she's not in the mood at all but you are what do you do okay I go like this I go close right and I go thank you so much for helping with everything sweet [Laughter] hey Ben thank you so much for helping us do these things um something's gonna happen tonight
2:33 that's what you say look at me hey look at me oh no look at me okay look at me look at me okay look at me and that works no okay and then that's a no and then I go away and you try again later yeah I'll try to get it later I would argue that you just saying thank you and being aware that she's doing something nice would be like oh that's so sweet and then maybe she goes into a different you know thought process that's true and she goes maybe he should just wash the dishes it's not sexual at all yeah laughs I go I could I could also take out the trash you could do that you'd like uh me to take out the trash um and also
3:24 um I'll take it I'm gonna take a shower is there anything are these things you don't normally do no I'm just I just want I heard it's up close he's like maybe so tonight I'm gonna take a shower and she gets off whoa something's different I want the jackpot did you get promoted I really like the line tonight something's gonna happen I really like the line not not the way that I say it though not the way I say it I go like this something's gonna happen tonight [Laughter] zany she goes okay
4:16 somebody's going to get a hurt for me some things are going to happen tonight oh and then uh and I'm sure that works for him what's your success rate though um do you feel like it works out of two five five out of 17. it's a nice fraction maybe like half of the time half of the time it works half of the time it it doesn't work and that's okay you just uh I think 50 is pretty successful right that's pretty good she ever come on to you yeah and then let's say you're not in the mood what do you how do you get rid of her I I go like this I go oh my God I really want it but I can't no I don't I don't and then you laugh or do you always want it do you always want it it's a kid he's like I want it but I
5:06 can't oh my God Jason's crazy this guy is crazy instantly horny I love it I love it has that ever happened where like you're not in the mood and and you have to decline sometimes I get tired because uh gay bro man look at you You Gotta Throw It Down for the block bro you can't just say no oh put me down bro you know I said all women know the standard it's always yes in other news what about Anthony's orgy cheers not to answer the question though
5:56 is the Colts one today oh Hot Topic you're not in the mood and you want to have an orgy how do you do about it [Laughter] like it is when you're out in the mood yeah man and you want to well the reason why I was having this conversation with my buddies there at the gym and we're making jokes how we have no systems we have no systems to make this happen if we're in the mood and my significant other is not in the mood yeah it's not good it's over it's done so okay what if she's in the mood and you're not in the mood you don't have any tricks up yourself you're gonna get divorced over that there's got to be some tricks up your sleeve yeah see that's why I want to ask you guys like what kind of tricks you got why are you deflecting how about deflecting yeah that's really good it's really good uh you just ask questions to everybody else
6:47 usually what was your question I forgot your question oh wow I was too busy how do you get you're a lady on the same plane as you when you're feeling better usually okay look I'm probably how is he always holding some form of drumsticks but this time not drumsticks I'm probably always like uh I'll say this half hard yeah maybe it's like uh I want to be on the starting five you know what I mean so I'm always ready Off the Bench your boy's ready to go wow okay you're never not ready what does that mean you're just you're just gonna have hard you should always have a condom on it how did you put that on yeah oh it stays up that means you're just usually not in the top five that's my third he's like I am the sixth man I am always
7:39 ready for the big leagues I'll say that and the big league are you really ready for the big leagues all the time yeah always okay but how many times like how many times like a week he's trying to win the slam dunk contest I don't know I don't think the frequency we're too busy to be doing it like at least once a week how about a month how many times a month Ah that's a good question once a week I actually uh probably like I think the average becomes like once a weekish but sometimes one week we won't happen and then a couple times another yeah or something like that just the average it balances out crazy crazy like does she like when you're all sweaty from Jiu Jitsu no no oh no well I don't think she has she doesn't like dislike it I just don't want to be because it's mainly someone else's sweat huh yeah I just threesome you rolled today didn't you did you train David you
8:30 know it's my favorite student oh God you never come home with the key on and you just untied the belt yeah you ever done it with your Dion no dude that's ridiculous why is it disrespectful to your seafood or something yeah dude is that how it goes gonna know he's gonna feel in his heart what if she puts the ghee on are you like this is my kind of Realm oh yeah that's weird by like teaching her like moves and you're like all right babe this is an arm bar and then you go in also for the kill anytime it happens it's always very
9:21 organic it's always just like what's organic though it's like very it's very guilty like you guys like you guys are just suddenly getting like really kinky it gets rough and suddenly you start transitioning into a ████ headlock no dude we don't fight bro I don't I don't do just but what's organic like you guys are both washing the car and you guys are having sex inside the car yeah we're doing a ████ Carl's Jr app washing the car Daisy well he said organic so I'm like okay what's the organic situation it's like you know we just started do you guys have looks like she knows your look oh I start grabbing her I go oh oh ████ I think he's deflecting that's not deflected yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but usually it's like you will go like We'll always Reserve time to go on like a date night or something I've never seen Nick uncomfortable yeah this is the first
10:11 time bro maximum uncomfortable I'm ████ chills and cucumbers the thing is you never see it because he's uncomfortable all the time he's angry yeah I'm a little uncomfortable most times I think yeah but yeah it usually happens like we have a date night that's a good one set day per week no no it's always like when we have time to like go on a date night we'll do something like that and then that's usually how it goes I think is there a belt system for that at home too yeah I'm still wiping frequency wise she can go up a belt yeah well she she's the sifu and she promotes me so like I gotta wait for it this is a 10 minute 46 second Mark where we change the subject for somebody else uh what about you Ryan when you're in the mood um what do you do just spark it up I don't think there is a I think it's like I think it is more of a physical
11:02 thing I don't think it's like if I ████ open my mouth and said anything I would instantly turn anyone off there's no good dialogue for me you know it's funny you try it every time don't you like this idiot no I think I think I've learned early on that my strength in attractiveness does not lie in anything verbal same you gotta read the the book of 51 liners thing it didn't work but what if you tried doing this like yeah yeah does that mean you just go to your keyboard and you start doing stuff and stuff no I've never yeah you serenade I've never used that as a thing that doesn't work no it's not like purposely it does work and that's why I don't I don't like to do that why because so you have so many talents that you could put them aside great he wants to handicap it
11:53 because I believe that there was one time I really believe that there's one time to like this girl who who I didn't think wanted to date me and then I did that and I regretted it because then she wanted to date me because of that and kind of overlooked other things that maybe she wouldn't have liked and then we got to a point where we started arguing about ████ I'm like what the ████ did you do oh that's right I shouldn't have ████ played that Spice Girl song and it was a Spice Girl song you become one no it was a it was a different one but um I remember doing that because like she I was trying to get her and I was like ████ like she's so independent couldn't get her to date me it was like ages ago and then I was like what's your ████ favorite song then and she goes oh it's this song Whatever hold on a second if you want to be meet me in the lobby by the grand piano in five minutes and then uh yeah that was it but
12:43 it's it's un it's not a bad pretense okay first of all if it was me and you said what's your favorite song and then you said meet me in five minutes and you learned it right I would ████ suck your dick too I'm soaked right now that's like eventually it's like that ████ that's not gonna be enough to hold the relationship up the other shirt you just gotta play other songs did you just play some more so yeah because of that I've never what's your next favorite I never I never do that now what's your dad's favorite song I try to I try to present all of my most like kind of s█████ traits and if they survive liking me at that point then I'm like okay we will make it yeah you know what I mean but it's like that's why I think like with who I am today with smack it helps because we're friends for such a long time that she's seen me act like a ████ idiot completely you know I'm just curious what's one of your s█████ traits that you think
13:35 I um like what like is this like what are my weaknesses kind of job interview type thing I care too much I are lacking or area you wished you could improve that's what the discussions and then after how do you turn around [Laughter] the original that vendogo of conversation is very interesting and that's organic I'll tell you I'll tell you a real one I think um I get obsessively good at certain things and I never apply them I think that's the thing that in the long run you could not appreciate oh but you don't why why don't you know I don't know I just don't I just really enjoy getting good at stuff and then like like I'll just never make anything out of it
14:26 I'll just be really good at a certain thing make a career or commercialize it or something and then like I'll get tons of tons of people in different Industries always go dude you could be making money doing that and it's just not interesting to me what's the last thing you got really good at that you didn't apply I feel like you're right I know I got really good at uh at um at hacking and coding old school Nintendo games right I got obsessively good at that to a degree that I have no business in but then like I didn't I just did it to make a funny uh funny game for my friends in this game yeah oh yeah oh yeah we were in the zoo we weren't in this game Hot Boys huh I didn't know you then but I will make you a whole game now no no nothing about toothpaste that's like Mark Wahlberg and the other guys you know he like learned ballerina to make fun of the other people the quick is down the street and that I
15:17 think is a flaw that like if you were dating like if you're dating me for a long time I think you'll catch out of that and go like oh this guy doesn't really apply himself fully I think that's a fair assessment but it's great in that moment I'm like well we get to experience this for x amount of time until the next thing yeah but you don't have to apply everything you like a thing and then you're good at it and you do another thing you're good at it you still know uh another thing yeah that's a very true in perspective I don't think you have to do it but I also would agree with a partner that was disappointed that I don't well what are you gonna play You're Gonna apply everything that you learn it's like that's not even yeah exactly ████ fisherman one week being good at the thing like to myself yeah yeah that's what I'm saying what are you gonna apply yourself all the time no I like to think that you're not the school counselor yeah dude you're good
16:08 you're good yeah no that's actually a good point I'm passionate about like it's not your career you're just doing like the game thing you're like I'm not gonna be a ████ I just like stuff yeah then like that's the thing is like I can understand it if if I'm with somebody and they see me spending so much time yeah getting good at things that only I will ever see it's a little weird for them I think I think it's more about saying this to the people out there that have zero Talent and can't get good at anything and then you think about that person who's just kind of gifted at everything and you're like man they don't even use their skills and you get all insecure hey dude hey I have something to ask you no no what it's a 16 minute Mark I saw that time too yep you know what that ████ means we're gonna Circle back to clean me because all I have to do with 16. we want to hear how you do it how the master I'm no master I'm only a masturbator in this conversation have
16:58 you ever have you ever encountered that is that foreign to you like a girl not being in the mood with you you're a ████ tool is it like like how an African tribe that's never seen civilization sees a helicopter is it similar I thought those are South American anyways um what's your what's your what do you do to you guys are all idiots I know it's hard to imagine but I came up with this prompt because I want to hear what you do and I can steal it I also learned even though I choose not to learn because I know the result but I just think it's funny just like Ryan nothing I will ever say works the second I say it also is turns down but for some reason that doesn't mean I won't from time to time just uh pause what are these phrases that you guys are saying that you think would work mostly from the no we know
17:52 [Music] what a Time oh that's a good one she's like you just got home what are you talking about yeah it's like that's not what the Bible says it's in the new New Testament the new new the new new no that's that's a stupid joke the fact that you say the words though no no no no words never worked okay what's the move you got a guy right there you could demo on just okay so for me so for me I've come to learn in the depth of my relationship now that I have to do [Laughter] is now I feel like I have to do like eight things to even set myself up to maybe there's a chance what were they think okay so first off when you say
18:42 things like when you say things like you go to your girl and she's like watching this it's like all the dishes need to be done the laundry needs to be done the vacuum is just all the chores everything already needs to be handled so that she has nothing to complain about and then if she's okay in the mood after that I need to have showered and I need to be clean and ready to go and then even that I shouldn't say anything I need to make sure that she might be in the mood which means that I can't be like hey I want something I have to only pretend like I want to give it I don't even want it I just want to give I'm just like so you just put ████ Lube all over your mouth I'm ready do you have him walking around all day just going to be that's on you on you I just want to give it
19:33 oh wait hold on a second don't sit here okay well what does ready to give me you know ready to give me you ever saw somebody like that in public that's him eight [Laughter] that's why that visual still stuck in my head no like uh is anybody related you guys leave me on either oh you're good you're already ready to give instead of like asking to take like so for example um I think a younger really uh arrogant cocky version of myself if I was trying to get into maybe like you're cuddling on the bed you start like making out where the ████ and then like a very naive and stupid ignorant younger version of you might have like taken you know a partner's hand and like put it on
20:23 me to begin and like you know what I mean but realizing instead it's more like at their level you know and also with no no expectation but maybe you go there and then if she's in the mood you get her in the mood not about you being in the middle but it's like you get her in the mood if she's in the mood you might get some if you get her in the mood you don't get some you don't get some you know what I mean it's just it's just at that point of the relationship but of course because it's also in that part of the relationship my dumb ass sometimes when I don't want to do all the work and do all the chores sometimes like hey can I just get a ████ like that yeah
21:14 done washing the dishes and she's like sure honey be right there would you be like whoa I'll probably bust a nut already [Music] sure honey I'll be right there yeah it would never work but that's I think that's why you try it from time to time it's like it's my birthday in that moment with her just saying that that's an easy tip for women to like get out of it sure honey I'll be right there you bust a nut you're like oh I guess you're done you got a sense that they are at that Peak they're believing it uh but it's Gotta Be believable if it sounds like an excuse the nut's not coming out oh yeah what needs this to be true it's got to be yeah yeah that's cool man I feel like the love language helped too that's what it is because if
22:05 their love language is like you know active service or whatever or like Spanish like feeling or what's Spanish or another guy in Spanish what's my what's your love language um that's actually a very good too how about after Hector you know so yeah once you're done with Hector yeah hit your boy up what is your love language would you say dude it's physical quality time oh hi I was like oh guys shut up Nick uh quality time all guys I think most of them mine's quality time yeah all right so you're saying you spend like six hours of quality time or something and then you're like horny out of somewhere like just out of nowhere you're just horny love language means
22:55 because it's isn't there like two main ones there's like one and then sub two I think the love language means it's like your currency of affection yeah I know but like there's a top one there's like everybody has like a primary and a secondary you just I think you rank it like one two five so what's like your top two so first one quality time quality time and the second one is I think acts of service me too my I think physical touch and quality time wow I wouldn't have thought really you're so ticklish I just like cuddling wait quality time and physical touch yeah I just like doing this bro we could totally be in a relationship yeah we're gonna because it's so easy to do like physical touch and words of affirmation but active service is so hard that's what yeah yeah that's true because you could do the wrong thing yeah you could do the wrong thing and they might not like it or you you know do too much it's time time consuming but then if it's physical touch I just touch you and say I love
23:46 you yeah yeah dude that's great this is I think hers is no I think but hers is quality time number one and the number two is probably about the same guy thank you [Music]
// end of tape