0:00 Right after your dad tells you that, he's like, "Motherfucker, LET A JACKHAMMER GAIN ████ I ████ HATE MY JOB." >> YOU'RE LIKE, I kind of don't like this. >> Cuz the kid might just be looking at it like, man, he's miserable. Like, I don't Why Why can't you do another job? >> also made you work, too, which ████ changes everything. >> Welcome to another episode of Careful Boys. If you guys are part of the Patreon, I assume you remember there, you were able to suggest topics on the Discord, and that sometimes we'll feature. Uh this is from a follower named Nick, and he asked Well, he asked kind of like something along the lines, but this would be the easiest way to answer it. In How would you feel, or what would you say if in the future
0:50 your kid is embarrassed about your career? >> ████ this ████ puts food on your face. >> On your face, through your esophagus. >> But you know how it is. Like, that argument just means nothing to kids when they're, you know, what is more important to be cool and not made fun of. >> Isn't it going to be inevitable? Isn't like, no matter what, they're going to be embarrassed of like, who or what you are? I mean, like, if they're like proud of who and what you are, sick. I assume it's going to be embarrassment. That's cuz all That's all I knew growing up with my parents. I was just embarrassed of my parents. >> You were embarrassed of it? >> Yeah, imagine it's like, hey, bring your like, parents to work like, career day or whatever the freak, right? And then somebody's bringing in their dad. My dad's a firefighter or some ████ and I'm like, oh, yeah, my My My dad delivers laundry. I'll be like, ████ off. >> But then what did >> And so your daughter's like, my dad's a
1:40 dancer. >> And since we're in Vegas, they think you're a stripper. >> For sure that's going to be embarrassing to her. >> Did you ever express to your parents that you were embarrassed about the career that they had? >> No, because I don't think I was that dick of a kid. I would just internalize and feel it and complain about it maybe with my sister. >> Do you think your your mom or dad could tell? >> I don't think they're idiots. I But I I also think that they're like practical to be like this is what pays the bills, this is what we could do, this is where we go. Like it's not there's no point in being emotional. >> And no offense. Why you laughing, dude? But do you think and I'm just a pure like just honest question, do you think uh if your parents owned like 10 dry cleaners, you would feel the same embarrassment? >> I think if I was a kid, I would still
2:30 feel embarrassed. >> Even though you lived in like San Marino in a mansion >> No matter what no matter what you don't know you know if I'm in San Marino in a mansion Then that's different. >> That's what I mean. Cuz maybe your embarrassment is attached that your dad sucked at running dry cleaners. >> It's very possible. It's very possible. Cuz the only thing that I would have in my relative sphere of like cousins or friends comparatively >> Yeah. >> were all more successful anything. And you never really even if it was like oh my dad does real estate, as a kid I'm like I don't know what that is. It's not about what the thing is, it's about what it proves in your life in that moment. >> Cuz the kid that's the richest at Keppel that I knew at the time, um the the son had a Mustang Saleen, which is like a $100,000 car when they were in high school. And
3:20 uh they owned a chicken farm. So when you think about chickens, you're like oh loser I am. >> Damn, what? >> But then when we went to her house to kick it, she had the they they bought two properties in the ████ Sequoia mountain area, demolished it to build one. >> Jesus. >> And then I think once you're at that level, so what I think so my argument to that, I used to have that type of thought process before I had a kid, which is like oh man what happens if like they're embarrassed at what you do. I think it's not really on the kid, it's on how you did the job and how you paint that job to the kid. >> Oh, okay. >> So like you could be like a ████ soy milk maker in Taiwan and you're just pedaling whatever, but if you have a good connection or a ████ stinky tofu maker, right? But I think if you have good rapport with the kid and you guys
4:10 actually talked and they saw the hard work that you that you put into it, I feel like um your your kid would be proud. Cuz if you think about all of the like um the mom and pop like stores in Japan and how dedicated they are to their skill and art, I feel like a lot of the kids they're like, "Damn, that's a lot of dedication." >> Yeah, but that's but that's if everybody is like dedicated to your art. Everybody down the street has the same size little block apartment because like you don't have a I think it's different in that if you tell your kid how much you care about your craft and you dedicate your life to this discipline, they'll be proud that you have that and still be like, "I still wish we were in a nicer car or I wish my friend You know what I mean?" >> on top of that, right? Right off your
5:00 dad tells you that, he's like, "Motherfucker, LEATHER JACKET AND A GANG ████ I ████ HATE MY JOB." YOU'RE LIKE, "I KIND of don't like this." >> You know, I think it's the in-betweens. You know what I So that you're you're you're you're saying you're saying it's more the energy and the vibe and the >> I think it's not it's like what it's not what you tell your kids, it's what you show your kids. Your rapport with your kids >> Cuz the kid might just be looking at it like, "Man, he's miserable. Like I don't Why Why can't you do another job?" >> also made you work, too, which is a ████ changes everything. But I think it depends on the age cuz I remember there was a phase in elementary school where nobody felt proud. Like everybody was embarrassed, no matter how rich, you're embarrassed cuz your parents are too rich. You're embarrassed cuz your parents are too poor. Like everyone wants to be the same, right? Like I remember thinking like, "Oh, why can't you just have a normal job and you wear
5:50 a suit and you go to work like and then you come back like everyone else, you know? And then like why you got to stay at home and like teach music? Like I didn't even know that was a job." I thought he was just ████ around all day. And I think there's like a stupid I don't know, like a 7-year-old mind phase where you're just embarrassed of everything and you have >> You you're just learning about the grass is greener for the first time in your life, you know? Everything that somebody else has is what you want. And it doesn't have to be better or worse. It's just what you don't have. >> Yeah, and then the rich kids like he envies your life because they're like, "My parents are never home, but I have all this s███." And you're like, "Oh, man, I I ████ want I want to be in your life cuz you have all these toys." >> Yeah, it doesn't have to make logical sense why the kid feels like that. But like just imagine they do, you know what I mean? I'll be like, "Man, you have Man, you too stupid and young to even have an opinion. ████ you." That's what I say. Like
6:41 "I'm embarrassed." Well, let's see what happens in 10 years, ████ 10 years later, you still embarrassed? ████ ████ I called you a ████ in 2026, I'll call you a ████ in 2036. >> I don't even have kids and I'm ready to talk some ████ man. No, I'm like at what point do you give them autonomy and like that like you take in what they feel >> Okay, I see what you mean. Yeah, yeah. >> To me, they're ████ Like I don't give a ████ Like you're 6 years old. Like ████ this pays the bills. You got an alternative for me? LIKE I REMEMBER THINKING MY DAD, I was like, "Man, why can't you be a mechanic like all my neighbors?" Cuz I wanted them to be the same. And my brother was a was a like he would fix cars. And I'm
7:31 like, "You're not fixing cars like the other guys." And I look back and I'm like, "Actually, that was kind of cool." Like there was always music in the house. He And then like I always had people to play with and then like so my memory of it is like in the moment it was like man ████ But then like I look back and I'm like what was really cool is that he always had students come and then it would be like siblings. So when one sibling's playing piano always had people to play with. But like when you're a kid I feel like you're so ████ like you just don't yeah. >> That's why I think so much depends on your rapport with your kid. Cuz if you don't have it you can't curate their thoughts. >> Mhm. >> So their thoughts are left to their own devices right? Oh mechanic looks cool. That looks whatever. But when you actually have rapport you can curate how they're thinking about every >> To form their understanding and
8:21 appreciate >> You could brainwash them better. >> Yeah to be honest that >> Like like Tyco was like playing with uh was playing at the park the other day and then his crush was there. And then so >> What's his name? >> to Jeremy. No he was supposed to So we're supposed to leave right? And then he'll be like um Can I play for extra 5 minutes? And he gave us that look like and we know what that means cuz we actually we never dismissed anything. But we know who the crush is. We try to give him advice on how to spit game for Valentine's Day like all of that. So I think he feels so supported. And then he was like and then we're like hey yeah yeah 5 minutes cool cool cool cool cool do go do your thing. So he got to talk to her and he's like going over there like look at me climb this thing you know like just obviously doing his like only 8-year-old thing. But I think in that way if I ever see a weird thought it's easy for me to put the guardrails back on. >> Oh okay.
9:11 >> Versus I think if it was me and my parents I have zero relationship. So I don't care what you say you're whack you know. Yeah. That's what I think. >> I mean you had good reason to be embarrassed though. >> Yeah. >> I think your dad had a cool job. ████ poker dealer dude that's sick. >> know if that's cool. >> Did it seem cool to you as a kid? >> A casi- work working at a casino is so cool. >> I thought it was >> As a kid that sounds ████ really cool. >> As a kid, I thought it was way cooler when he had like a Chinese takeout spot. >> Really? Is that because you would eat food? >> I just I don't know. I thought like um >> Selling orange chicken was way better. >> I thought it was cool that he had ████ >> Yeah. >> Like this was his ████ And he could hold down the ground and you know. >> Oh, yeah. >> And then and then I think when he became
10:01 a car dealer, I'm like, man, he's just everyone's ████ at that table. >> That's interesting. >> That's how I thought. >> See, you can't control a kid brain. Cuz I would have been like, DUDE, HE'S ████ dealing cards. >> He's like taking all their money, too. Cuz the house is like always winning, right? >> But that's like kids coming over our dry cleaners and be like seeing all the machines and thinking to themselves like, woah, this is crazy. >> You know? And I'm like, you idiot, this is hell. >> I remember I saw a rat this big at my dad's restaurant. And I'm like, yo, my dad got rats IN THERE, TOO. >> I CALLED THE CITY AND LET THEM KNOW.
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