0:00 [Music] so uh a hopeful bachelor receives over a hundred applications after plastering himself on billboards across the country in the uk let me show you the photo just for quick context you sound sexy you better be sexy dude hell yeah save me from an arranged marriage damn over a hundred applications came in there you go that's malika wife.com find malik a wife you've got to be pretty bald enough for all those buildings that's very true how many billboards just go ahead make yourself you can get a billboard pretty cheap i have to say really you can hack them down yeah what about nowadays oh yeah especially now it's gonna be it's gotta depend on the reason yeah why did he go facebook ads instead well this is definitely way more powerful i gotta say he had a hundred
0:52 applicants over a hundred so billboard's like what 1500 bucks i don't i don't know i really think it depends on where you're at and what they do is like with stupid side fact but let's say a person pays for like 20 days for the month they'll like broker the remaining days like way cheaper for like people that you want their ████ up like slightly is it like a sublease on a ████ billboard yeah yeah so we used to get we used to get billboards done for like uh records that were coming out and then uh what we do is rather than just buy a billboard you get one that someone uh got most of the month and you'll just like some guys always monthly people do it all the time they'll like lease it for the month and they'll sublease parts of the days wow and it's that cost effective to get a whole new ad up there yes it is yeah interesting all right there it is um new market yeah it was like 1500 i think wow
1:43 so we've got our one bachelor who's received over 100 applications from hopeful bachelorettes in a desperate bid to save him from an arranged marriage were there other like indian chicks that were like in arranged marriages and then they're like oh this guy seems cooler yeah the other chick from that arrangement is made her own billboard it says what about me.com what about me.com so muhammad malik can be seen lying across huge billboards in both london and birmingham with a cheeky grin on his face directing suitors to his website finding malikawife.com in a video on his page he says hi i'm malik you may have seen my face on a billboard somewhere i'm 29 live in la vita london i'm an entrepreneur and a foodie and i'm religious i'm looking for someone who's working on herding which is arabic meaning religion i'm open to any ethnicity but come from
2:33 a loud punjabi family so the banter has to be 100. if you're interested fill out the form and check out my details see uh pakistani because he's talked about arabic and stuff he definitely used the word punjabi so i don't know my indians there's punjabi muslims i'm assuming he was muslim he saw my arabic um i'm not exactly sure anybody know you know you have that smart guy he's in there i think the hat the punjab is the no no no because that's a i think that's a muslim hat usually punjab is uh punjabis they they wear the what's called like a head wrap yeah so that i think that's synonymous with punjabi males there it is that's why isn't that sick but he's talking about oh is it it's all about arabic stuff we don't need sure yeah
3:23 i'm talking about buddies we need to rash here because uh we don't know we're gonna steal that we're gonna go into this story explaining his reasons beyond such drastic measures he has pokemon evolution teresh okay so so his reasons behind such drastic measures to find mrs right mohammed explained i just haven't found the right girl yet it's tough out there i had to get a i had to get a billboard to get seen my ideal partner would be a muslim woman in her 20s see muslim who's striving to better her dean we don't need tesha i'll ████ tell tech what jarrell he added i'm an only child and look after my mom and dad if this is a deal breaker i don't think it'll work out
4:14 mama's profile describes him as a 29 year old muslim guy living in london noting he is slim and five feet eight inches tall they use our measurements oh oh yeah that's what you got he converted it right now though can i hate on this guy really it's my horse if you're trying to get out of an arranged marriage and you're doing something like this this is just a different more elaborate arrangement maybe he wanted to open his options for more arrangements he's arranging another marriage because maybe like he doesn't like the one that his parents pick and he goes exactly and maybe he gets to see this arrangement or the other one he might not be able to see the arrangement until wedding day well i mean he's getting full on applications so i mean he gets a he gets to actually have choices that's all different so that's already not a range that's already optional well it depends because i had a friend who um was doing
5:05 a um i used to improv this guy and he was single and he was trying to get with chicks so he did this thing called he filmed like an infomercial called tim wow and he and he did a similar thing like a campaign to like date him and he's like hey you know come to my website and you're like you can print out this coupon it's good for one date with me mays kind of picture yeah like a billy mays thing yeah and then uh i was like i was like oh this is great um so then i i submitted um to him as a big girl yeah he's a fake girl i wrote this i wrote this entire i wrote like a ████ like four paragraph like page like page and a half about how i was from like virginia and like uh you know i go to george mason university out there and like i'm really into literature and art and like i've been looking for someone like you
5:55 and like i hope that you know we can hit it off and stuff and i was like and i just kept on going right talking about my family and i have a i like dogs but i'm not sure if i want one yet and then i take a a detail and i got attached to my picture and i pulled a picture of a craigslist of a guy with a ████ gut out and he had a boner like oh my god a gun and i was like yeah just let me know you know like let me know what you thinking and then now about a month later i saw him because we do improv every month and i was like hey dude how's how's tim what going on like you're getting interesting uh did you did you keep a straight face i did i did but um
6:46 he was like i took everything i had every straight face king man everything i have but but he um i never even told him this to this day he doesn't even so many confessions on camera here he um he was like yeah actually yeah i got this thing from this girl and i was like this seems cool and then i clicked on his some guy's dick and that was like that's ████ crazy man i like laughed and i was like oh that's ████ funny i guess but that's crazy yeah yeah actually yeah i did yeah so i know the whole thing backfired what did he ████ beat it yeah he didn't think he was gonna get some of those action he got what if no girl's message and that was the only ████ god and that was in the top of his mind so
7:37 that's probably what it was he probably didn't get that many like responses and he really likes yours and then right at the end was the picture you guys remember early youtube where people would upload these like dating ████ video what do you call them where they're just like yeah like this i like long video dating service stuff yeah yeah yeah there's a bug that i just went down the rabbit hole of you mean like the vhs found tapes from the 80s of those ones the submitted ones and they would upload them on youtube no like dudes who are searching for chicks yeah oh they just straight up make them for youtube yeah no no no so like so like let's say they had this video dating service back in the 80s or 90s right some dude would get that they would find it because they worked there and then they would be uploading this ████ on youtube and it was one guy is that not it no it's not this is still
8:27 this is still pg-13 so we can still upload this that guy gets all the ████ just wanted to bring a reference visual for nick because i know that he was thinking about it yeah and that's exactly what i was picturing there was one guy that would just be freaking out and he goes you gotta ████ rummage through a ████ trash can for a playboy and jack off do you guys remember that one yeah he gets he loses his ████ right it's because he's like i like long walks and i just need a woman because i'm so tired of going rummaging into a dumpster for a playboy yeah look that one up he's got denim jacket yeah if you put vhs dating tape it will be the first or second one it's ████ good it is classic you guys never saw this ████ this was so popular you guys know who geislain is right poo the star wars kid that was an attempt at getting a date as well oh when he's in the garage yeah
9:18 oh that guy that's he's trying to get a date he's trying to show off her chicks yeah that dude crushing harder than him over there 100 i mean he had over a thousand people reaching out i would just say it's the wrong era because right now he would probably be getting all the twitch girls crushing crushing star wars kid bad timing yeah that's it stephen moore this guy it's also how it's crazy how some guys how off they are on what they think chicks want yeah like he's so frustrated i know i know he's like chicks want this here's joe's guy you gotta watch this dude he's my he was one of my favorite old school youtube videos that went viral just have a seat there sit right there oh ████ i think i do he looks like a good looking guy too he's angry though yeah that's two he's too bad
10:08 [Music] looks like a skinny johnson is steven morris and um never done this one before um i'm 26 years old i work down at the fourth realm it's a bookstore it's a complex store and uh i'm single and i'm just looking for somebody who likes to have i'm just looking for somebody who likes to have fun and is a fun loving type gal uh brunettes or something and they're so redheads are blond for something uh tall women or shorts because height is in the eye of the beholder but someone who likes me for me is who i'm looking for because i'm i'm that type of guy who likes me when you and we could go out and do all kinds of things all kinds of music what i really want is someone who'll call me and will love me
10:59 because i'm everyone i know is married and i'm i don't know anybody or anything and it's just not right when because i deserve love like anybody else i don't need to rummage through that dumpster for a playboy god give me a but there's but there's real ones that are like montage one's a real bunch man but for playboy yeah if i didn't fall back i think he would have sold this yeah i think he could have gotten away with it it was pretty good like very heightened all the way which is [Laughter]
11:52 i just want someone who likes me for me not like all my cool connections and ████ you
// end of tape