0:00 [Music] all right guys uh what do you think of a chick-fil-a owner what do you picture a christian boy definitely a christian boy a good christian boy yeah because to own um chick-fil-a i think it's like within the church connection and also yeah the chicken at the church of chicken like which church like a protestant oh there you go yeah you're some kind of christian related within the church and also um you have to work there for quite some time yeah yeah i picture like um i don't know like a dude with a gay kid head in his arm and just give it a bite he was just being daunted oh my god beating up gay kids yeah it's like it's like a closet gay person who's not allowed to admit they're gay because of religion so
0:51 they're wearing a cow outfit instead with a picket son that says eat more chicken oh pretty good very specific wow well um a chick-fil-a over in texas in marshall texas is uh under some scrutiny right now the owners are being accused of witchcraft what wait define witchcraft in 2022 that's a very key thing right there i'm glad you said that uh like one of those dolls where you ████ stab it and you hope that someone just voodoo dolls that's exactly what i picture when someone says witchcraft i thought it was like a old lady with the ████ cauldron and she's going double double toil and trouble she's throwing like a ████ eye of newt yeah you know always you know salamander yeah yeah explodes a little bit why uh what was witchcraft back in the day was it just chicks burning incense like
1:41 real ████ like some um druid ████ like people inventing great things and being called witches right yeah yeah right exactly you got a cauldron it's like i was ████ making soup yeah and they're like you're a witch and they would set them on fire afterwards i mean like why is there i have nude in your soup that's true here's the funny thing this is the 2022 version of witchcraft i guess so uh these owners of the chick-fil-a are being accused of witchcraft because they posted a video of them when they were building the chick-fil-a burying a bible underneath the foundation of it why would you bury a bible is that christian it's the reverse effect of uh ancient burial grounds to bless the customers they left it open on the book of joshua but isn't that weird where you would bury it doesn't that like represent like more of a disrespect yeah so here's a picture of them uh there it is
2:32 on the ground breaking and then is that a is it an official thing that it's like if you bury a bible that it's like either satanic or witchcraft like that's a new practice that's what's weird to me is like even in seventh-day adventist uh culture growing up you're not supposed to do stuff like that you guys don't bury bibles well you don't even put a bible under another book like like i'm not religious anymore but like to this day i retain the same respect of like if i'm stacking books i'll still put the bible on top just out of reflex like putting a bible on the dirt on the ground and then like burying it is just i guess it's perspective right because these people are probably thinking oh cool we could like always have it preserve on this chapter forever and it could shine ████ light like i can kind of see that cute idea i like it but it doesn't matter what your intent is you just defended a bunch of christians actually you should ████ apologize hey you should apologize but i also see how it's like yo i'ma bury this ████
3:22 ████ right here and get god angry because i want the devil to come yeah it's like it's clear what their intentions are but it's funny to me because i'm wondering if this is a sect of christianity where that's like a i don't know like subterranean blessings or everything because because it's very opposite normally like you wouldn't even put it be more like like like planting a seed and then having the energy of it grow into imagine just a bro that sounds like witchcraft i like that i guess so i play magic the other i'm into it but isn't that such a funny response like today like a christian planning a bible is witchcraft you know what that reminds me of you know in ghostbusters you ████ slide that ████ open and it goes and then ████ sucks the ghost box that like yeah the book of joshua yeah oh maybe that's the thing i bet you it's a chapter on prosperity right they open that ████ book right
4:12 and then they're trying to get all the customers to come shop at ████ chick-fil-a i like it yeah we should do that here we should what would we bury under the jk office portals because then all the guys will come leave it all in the on the book of josh's big dick get all the dudes we need a pornography book to find in bear star named joshua here's what they want to say about it they said uh the owner said while we do serve delicious food people are what's most important to us our purpose here is simple to glorify god by being a faithful steward and make all that trust and get them 12 count nuts oh chick-fil-a sauce yeah so they're i mean they have honest uh earnest intentions but it is a little weird you know i say carry on this practice let's continue
5:02 this how do you know there wasn't a bible under every place you've ever eaten that you don't know olive garden what if that's what makes it taste good put your bread sticks under there yeah it might taste good because if you guys have anything crazy buried in like your backyards growing up no i think it's stupid i think it's dope when like a fish died you would like bury it right thinking that like you were doing something proper and then like later your mom would randomly be like what the ████ is this and there's just like all these maggots and stuff and worms all over it and you're like you obviously didn't bury it six feet you better get like one inch it's it's out yeah you buried your pets in the backyard i had i had a red hair slider that i um i i buried i dug a hole and i put it in there and then i don't know i felt like i didn't know if it was gonna decompose and get absorbed so i took the shovel like sharp ways
5:52 and it went like this you cut it in half and then i heard the shell cracked and then i was like then i felt really really bad why did you do that what i don't know what are you shredder like how old are you eight or nine that is way worse than what ryan did are you just eight or nine figures ████ out you're like like a hole and you kind of pat it flat you know and you're like i don't know maybe i should like what was your turn let me respect it now let me disrespect you let me chop it up into more pieces yeah but strange ritual they have in there barb was a weird kid i wonder what was his ████ friend just cutting turtles in half oh let's go around the table have any of you guys cut a turtle in half we'll start with you steve yeah no i have not we don't know if it was perfectly in half because it was under the ground so let's not assume fractions i remember i buried live frogs so i think i'm pretty ████
6:42 up too live frogs why were they alive just when you think it couldn't get worse it comes joe hot and heavy please nobody double down on top of that frog i was like six two i don't know you were sixteen dude my cousin taught me when it rained this was like oh ████ and then he's like where's the scissors and i'm like why are you so excited he goes you got to come with me he grabbed the scissors he pulled my hand right we went outside and there's hella ████ snails and he comes up and he makes me cut the eyes of the snails every single one and he's dying laughing he's ████ laughing dude and i'm just like as soon as the snail eye goes up he goes and he cuts that tree oh my god you know my neighbor of course i was like four i was like four years old
7:33 my neighbor across the street how does he already have this tradition for you know the ████ soup base from shenanigan like the non-chip noodles uh when it would rain and the snails would come out you would come and open the soup base and sprinkle it on the ████ snails and ████ too and just starts foaming damn and you got like have you seen your cousin lately got a kick out of it yeah he's got two kids he's a very nice man was he pulled up on a ████ dolly good to see you joe don't ████ with cats bro don't ████ with cats it's been a long time since you visited i too have fathered children i do can you bring back the scissors for all time can we like focus on that sentence of like oh it's raining get the ████ scissors he grabs your hand and pulls you laughing the whole time yeah that's
8:23 that's happened a lot right i think he's like 10 years older than me so he was like 15. so i was like five or so i don't know cutting the eyes off of snails this was like oh yeah buried live frogs please don't double down oh yeah so uh why did you bury the livestock yeah we didn't get to the bottom we used to catch tadpoles and frogs and then um i don't know there was a lot of dust there so i threw it on top and then they were jumping and you know how like dust sticks onto the frog yeah i thought that was pretty funny right so then i grabbed a bunch of dirt and then i threw a frog in there and i covered it to see if you could crawl out okay yeah and then it kind of you slowly saw the dust and i was like oh ████ it could come out right and then i grabbed that ████ again and i dug it even deeper and i threw it in and i covered it and then it wouldn't come out i was just having the worst day of his life
9:13 he's like how the ████ would i keep ending up on the ground this poor ████ frog yeah it would come out and then my friend starts stomping on it so then i start stopping on it and we're like stomping on this this thing and bart comes in with a shovel you know when you're kids right you just you're just ████ stupid like you're just both laughing and stopping and then yeah but then i did learn my lesson i did learn my lesson though this little girl with this it was with their church group she she saw it she ran and her dad's a pastor she told ████ her dad on us and he came over and he goes what are you guys doing and i was like oh we had some frogs and she goes yeah daddy he got the frogs they threw it they covered it and they started stopping on it and then she was all crying and ████ and we didn't know what was going on and he's all like
10:03 you guys gotta try to keep them alive and we're just trying to like find them i can't even find them because it's like we dug them so ████ deep like digging in the wrong spot it's over here and then apple was so sad and angry right and then me and my friend were like looking at each other like damn dude did we ████ just make god angry like what did we do because he was like that's that's god's creation oh you made the devil ████ happy yeah yeah another sacrifice to molly god was not watching he was like i ain't part of this ████ yeah we were just i was just like ████ i ████ up man i don't know what i did but i think i ████ up so i don't go to church see that's why i don't like religion [Music] [Applause]
10:53 [Music] you
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