0:00 I somehow I I realized that like the bank and everyone has a translator. So as soon as my parents pass me the phone, I go, "Do you guys have a Japanese translator?" And then they'll be like, "Yeah, we do. Let me let me put them on." >> Your other phone rings. >> And I, >> hello. Oh, yes. This is me. Oh, okay. Japanese time. >> You guys like Bruce Lee? I love Bruce Bruce Lee, especially blue, >> especially in Once Upon a Time in Mexico. My favorite portrayal of Bruce Lee ever. >> Yeah, I know. That's true. >> Or Once Upon a Time in Mexico is even better. >> Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. >> What? Um, do you like Brandon Lee? >> The Crow. >> Yeah, The Crow. >> Yeah, thousand%. >> Yeah, he's great, huh? Did um there's this interview that people are analyzing
0:50 now for some reason of him teaching Cantonese to the reporter. Have you seen it? >> No, he speaks Cantonese. >> Yeah, bro. >> That's cool. Maybe you can translate for us uh what he's truly saying. >> I'll try. >> My accent is not so great anymore and my vocabulary is not so great anymore, but I do speak Cantonese and I speak it in the film. >> You do? >> I spoke it as a kid. I mean, I grew up there. So, >> could you say something nice to me in Cantonese? I mean, really nice. Think just for me to take home with you. >> Um, do you lo, >> shut the ████ up. That guy's a ████ troll. >> What do you say? >> Hold on. Hold on. Before you say anything, he's going to tell her what it means. >> And what did you say? Cuz I know what it sounds like to me. The answer is yes. But >> it means you have lovely eyes.
1:41 >> I didn't know he was a troll like that. I like him. I like him >> so much more. So the first part when I'm watching this, I'm like, dude, it's kind of eerie. Like his mannerisms are kind of like Bruce Lee. obviously his dad, but it's like it's just he has like this like this charm to him >> and then so you're like listening, okay, cool. What kind of Cantonese do you know? He ends up saying ████ your mom >> and say, "You have lovely eyes." >> Is that not AI, dude? That's not That's really dumb. >> It's real. It's been on top of that the reporter's like cuz the answer is yes. I was like walked right into it. >> Not good. >> I hate how I just can't trust anything I see anymore. >> Yeah. And my mind immediately goes like, "Somebody made this s███." >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I saw Putin and Trump making out the other day and I was like, I don't know if this is real. >> I know. >> The integrity.
2:31 >> Yeah. I was like, "This could be real." >> Well, the full interview is up on YouTube, so that's how I knew it was real cuz it's like a long >> He really trolled that journalist. >> Yeah, he really did. >> Type respect, >> duck your mom. >> Do you know that phrase? Are you familiar? Do you just say that? Something my dad said like every day. >> Really? >> Yeah. to you is no. It's just like so Cantonese is a very uh vulgar language >> like ████ your mom or you're a f a like all those things. It's just normal talk you'll hear at a restaurant like like it's it's normal to speak that vulgar. >> So when my dad's just driving and he has road rage he's just like saying things to the air all the time. >> Oh >> piece of ████ I hope you ████ trip and fall and like land with a dick in your mouth. Like he's just like constantly just and I'm just a kid and he's like just ████ hot boxing on this truck spewing out crazy ████ ████ ████ ████ ████ ████ ████ ████ ████ ████
3:21 >> What does that sound like? That sentence you just said in >> Oh, I don't know how to say it. It's too much. It's like dicky mouth. >> Yeah, it sounds like that. >> It's fire. >> I love him even more now. >> Yeah. >> I think we're going to do you're going to ruin my ████ cuz you like to do that. You like you were like is this your hero? >> Whoa. Guess what? Here's a ████ piece of ████ example of who he is. >> I was just showing my fantasy football buddies the Clint Eastwood clip that we always play. >> Oh, like you guys like Clint Eastwood? >> They're like, I love him. >> The best, dude. >> He's the goat. >> And they they loved him even more after that. >> They were definitely like >> They're like, "Thank you for showing me that." >> That's crazy. Like >> his improv skills are great. >> Exactly. Well, that's the worst part is you tell them that part of the story that >> That's the worst part. >> He improvised that with the little girl and >> it's pretty wild. >> Yeah. And that she doesn't like it even today.
4:11 >> Yeah. That's not nice. >> The beguiled. Shout out the beguiled. >> Can you Can you get away with something like this now, do you think, as a celebrity? >> Wow. Now I feel like it's so global, like everyone's going to see it so quickly and all over the world that like you're not going to get away with it. >> Yeah. You're going to get the truth immediately. Someone's going to fact check or in the comments is going to like explode. >> Do you think it would be like a negative reaction from people that like, oh, that's not nice to do or >> I think it depends on the persona. Yeah, >> I think if you kind of have that like rascally persona, I think people will ████ love it. They're like, "Oh, ████ He pulled a fast one at this reporter." >> But if it if if you're known to be like a true scumbag, people probably wouldn't like it, I think. >> It's like when when you found out Ellen was mean to her employees and everyone's like, "Wait, but everyone likes Ellen." >> It was like that. But if it was like if that was Bill Burr, everyone would be
5:01 like, "All right, so what?" >> Yeah. >> What do they call it? Like demasking or something. When you're like when your mask slips they call it. >> Oh, really? >> I don't know. I'm not woke like that. >> You're maintaining this like wholesome personality and then you get little hints of like, oh, >> they really are. >> Yeah. >> Son of a ████ >> Well, the wholesome personality be the worst ████ dude. >> But you know that from the YouTube space. >> Oh, yeah. >> Almost always. >> Any names? >> And it ends there. >> One day. One day. >> You know what? I think I will do an expose. Oh, what? Really? Can't be sued. >> Y >> when when does that happen? >> But you know what? >> When they're all dead. >> But a lot of those people tend to kind of expose themselves. >> No. Yeah. That's the funny part. >> Yeah. >> Is that it all catches up. >> Yeah, >> it all does.
5:51 >> It's It's way easier to just be scum up front, isn't it? >> Oh, yeah. A thousand%. When people expect the least out of you >> and you do a decent thing, like a normal thing, they think you're like Jesus. >> Yeah, it's true. They're like, "I can't believe you what you ████ gave to charity. What the ████ A scumbag like you?" I think that's the thing that people think is like >> like you you're not capable of any anything normal. >> Image really does help though. >> It does. >> But the Taliban is not a charity. Just want to remind you. >> No, but they're humans, too. >> Yes. >> This episode is brought to you by the RP Diet Coach app. Remember when I lost over 30 lbs and got ripped for a bodybuilding show? This is the exact app I used. You can adjust your macros your way. Shift your calories from day to day between meals and get instant guidance when your plans change. You tell it what
6:42 goals you want and then it gives you the plan to follow. It's super easy to use and it's built by my buddies over at RP. Jared from RP was my diet coach for my bodybuilding show where I won double first place so you know that it works. To get our special subscriber pricing, go to rpstrength.com/rpskinny time. That's rpstrength.com/rps k n y t i m e. RP skinny time. Link in the description below. >> Did you ever mess around using Cantonese like in a way like this? I feel like or Mandarin because having a second language like that, I felt like I always wanted to do that. Mess with people. You never messed with anybody being bilingual. The only thing I >> bisexual, I'm sorry. >> Bisexually, no. >> Um, but the only thing I did uh bilingually was in first grade. I
7:35 pretended like I didn't speak English. >> So, I would like only speak Chinese when the teacher spoke to me and I talk to all my Chinese friends in Chinese. >> So, they put you in ESL >> and then Yeah. And then uh they put me in ESL and then during like the parent teacher conference or like open house, my mom would come and she's like, "Why are you in ESL?" And then the teacher's like, "Well, he doesn't speak English." And then my mom's like, "Yes, he does." >> Did you beat your ass afterwards? >> What was the motivation behind wanting to do that? Did you just want a sick ass reveal? >> I think I thought it was cool that there was a classroom where everyone learns the same ████ but in Chinese. >> Oh, so you purposely wanted to be in ES. >> I wanted to be in that class cuz I think it felt like like the movies I watched as a kid. >> So I'm like, "Oh, this is so cool. This is like being in Steven Child's class or being like Bruce Lee's class. This is I
8:26 don't have to do it in this whack ass American class. >> But in the ESL class, were there like Mexicans and other like it was only Chinese? >> It was just all Chinese in my ESL. >> What the heck? >> You know what's crazy? I I pulled something extremely similar. Yeah. >> I was also in ESL class when I shouldn't be. >> But you knew that much Japanese. >> Well, I spoke it at home. And then so when they asked what a like primary language and all that, I used to file the things for my parents. >> So I just wrote Japanese. >> Oh. >> And I didn't write English. So then they thought that ESL was the class I was supposed >> You were filling out your own enrollment forms at that age. >> Yeah. They just had me do everything and I was doing it wrong. >> What the heck? >> Did your parents never do that? My mom would get like a phone bill discrepancy. I'm like eight. Hey, call them. I I don't know what the more >> Yeah. I was like seven or eight when I
9:16 started calling. >> I know that that happened a lot in Asian households, but that wasn't in in mine. Yours, too. >> Yeah, my mom went too. She's like, hey, I don't know what's going on. Could you just call them? >> Things way beyond my ████ pay grade. Like ████ Oh, the got gas bill that they said shut it off. What's going on? I'm like, I don't know, dude. >> That was normal for you growing up that your mom would make you talk to like like bill collectors and stuff? >> Yep. Yep. >> Yep. All day. >> What's What other stuff did you have to do for your parents language wise? >> Order pizza. But all that stuff, anything. So my mom, it's like she lives in this shelter Chinese world. >> So if it's outside of 99 Ranch or whatever her Chinese errands are, everything I have to be like her ████ PR spokesperson. So if I go to like let's say a Ralph and it goes beyond like, hey, this is um what you have to
10:06 pay the minute there's a coupon discrepancy or whatever. Oh, go go go go. You have to talk talk about like whatever, right? And I have to like go like, "Oh, okay. So, my mom's saying like it does say like if you buy one gallon, get one free." Like, what's wrong? Like, what's wrong? >> I feel like I was behind you guys so many times at the store. >> You had to do that too for your for your mom for what? >> Uh, just the water bell shutting off. Same thing. >> What did you have What did you have to say for the water? >> He's like, "Hey, why you shutting it off?" I'm just asking questions like, "Hey, why you shutting it off?" Dude, >> when did you guys realize though these companies have translators? Because >> they do, >> dude. So, I don't know. >> Today, today, >> I don't even know. >> I don't So, I think I was maybe in junior high or something like I somehow I I realized that like the bank and everyone has a translator. So, as soon as my parents pass me the phone, I go,
10:57 "Do you guys have a Japanese translator?" And then they'll be like, "Yeah, we do. Let me let me put them on." >> Your other phone rings. >> And I, >> hello. Oh, yes. This is me. Oh, okay. Japanese time. So, I would get it and then like I would just pass it to my mom. So, then at this point I'll be like just ask for a Japanese translator and then I would do that every single time and I'm like that was the biggest saving grace for me. >> I like how that's the first thing that the bank says or anybody says now when you call when you call it's just like >> espanol numero uno, you know, all that kind of ████ >> My mom would have pressed the espanol. >> That's hella funny, dude. So you had So your mom had to get you on the phone to ask for a translator. She didn't even She's just like, "Oh, no English. Sorry. Come over here." And then I'm all like, "F██████ ████ Hello. Yes. Uh this and and and most of the time they wouldn't
11:48 even talk to me because it has to be the authorized user. >> They can't tell you the confidential." And I don't know what the ████ this thing is. Like they're like, "What's the check number and whatever confirmation?" I don't know what the ████ none of that is. >> Like why you guys ████ off for water, dog? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You're six. Sort of this Wendy's. Yeah. You're like a single digit age still. >> Yeah. My dad said that he paid last month, but you didn't get it in the mail. And then I'll talk to my dad. It's the same ████ Like, no, that's not what I said. >> For me, it was always like, "We're not home." So, it's like, cuz there's always credit card collector people. So, it was like, "Oh, no, they're not home. Sorry. Can I take a message for you?" And but it I was just helping my parents duck their bills, dude. Hey mom, are we home? >> Are we home? >> I made the mistake of that pretty early on. >> Remember that? Do you remember the first time that you were taught to not say
12:39 that your parents are home? Yeah. Isn't >> that crazy, dude? I got my ass ████ beat for answering the phone and then giving it to my parents. >> Yeah, it was so shocking to like learn that. Oh, I'm supposed to lie. >> Well, you must be so cool when the parents hit that age where they're like, >> I think Stephen can talk on the phone to these people and pretend like we're not home now. >> Like for them, that must have been so cool. Like you you've evolved. >> That's a built-in excuse. Now >> mine was even from family. >> You'll be like, "Oh, grandma call." My mom's >> I'm like, "What the f███?" >> That's my mom, too. >> ████ grandma. What the hell? >> You ever have Taika do that when your mom calls to talk to you? >> No, now we got cell phones. >> Yeah, I was going to say I just I just hang up myself. I >> just auto block >> in our old skit with the with the crazy Asian moms, right? And then we wrote that one part in where all of us have this memory of getting chewed out, our
13:30 ass beat, whatever. And when the phone rings, she goes, "Hello." >> Yeah. >> And we'll all be there like, "You ████ fake ass b████." >> Yep. >> I hated that. I get so mad. >> Oh, yeah. Just nothing. Oh, he's been going to ski. >> And you're just like, "B████, you were so angry at me right now. Why you faking it?" Meanwhile, you're in critical condition. >> Trying to breathe. >> She just ████ you up so hard. >> You fake it. >> Your trachea is like smashed. >> Do you think anyone like Taika's age and younger now even has those memories? >> Beat. >> I don't think. Yeah. Do they even do it though? Like, >> yeah, I'm sure they're parents other than beat their kids ass. >> You know why? I'm sure they exist. That's hella funny to ask Bart. Ty have
14:21 any ass beating memories? >> Now you can record younger. Don't have the same experiences that we do. >> Of course not. Yeah. >> Well, I never got my ass beat either. So, yeah. Same. >> Lucky you. >> Thanks. Yeah. >> Wow. >> Not once. >> Um, no. I got a spanking. >> Well, you got beat. It was like I got a spanking and then it was like I never want to go through that again. So, it was just like, hey, dad's coming home. Like, you messed up. It's just like, okay, I'm good. I'm good. I'm I'm a good boy. Was it like the traditional over the lap like pants down type? >> Oh ████ >> It was just just took that one time and I was like, "Okay, my parents >> Do you remember what you did that time?" >> I don't remember. >> Well, you didn't have ADHD because I think uh we never learned our lesson. >> Yeah, I I definitely learned my lesson. >> I feel like the It was just always a new lesson. >> Yeah, that's how it feels like, >> right? >> That's how it ████ feels like, dude. >> Good. That's a good point. Yeah. >> I never knew like I messed up.
15:12 Especially for you that you're always like bending the rules so you're like, "I thought I did that. >> I never knew that was a rule." Like if my mom's friends come over, if I come out in her bra, I didn't know that's a thing. Like there's all these new things. I'm like, "Why are there new things? Tell me everything." >> You came out in her bra. >> I'm like, "Tell me everything so I can live within the boundaries." >> But I found out now that I have a curious kid. >> There's not enough boundaries cuz they're they're always going to be more curious than what you >> knowing bar. He probably came out in panties and then she's like, "What the f███?" So then he came out in broad, well, I thought it was panties. >> Exactly. >> Specific. >> And then he comes out with the panties on his face. >> And he's like, "You got to be specific." >> Yeah. I thought it was no panties here, so I just put it here. >> Yeah. >> Oh, yeah. Just to close it. What's the phrase again that he says? >> Lommo. >> Okay. Say it. Do
16:02 >> Go ahead. Looo. >> Dle. ████ your mom.
// end of tape