0:00 you don't know Bart cuz it obviously you're the complete opposite and personality wise but like just looking at you you're like this guy's a ████ psycho yeah he's a crazy freak psycho he probably has no emotions or something that's that it's like Tyler [Music] Perry and welcome back to another amazing fantastic wonderful stupendous episode of the careful boys damn adjectives right there's a lot of adjectives go today we are talking about if you were setting up a dating profile for yourself what would you lead with we're all single right now yeah we're single and we're lonely yeah lonely single what would you lead with probably do a shirtless picture of Bart on mine yeah my face on it that's pretty good would you keep your ears though oh but
0:51 you know what I have to leave with the ears then are you trying to hook up or you trying to like find love what are you trying to do oh it's up to us yeah Choose Your Own Adventure how about hot and horny okay if you're hot and horny what what do you just write hot hot and horny oh that's what you're Oh I thought you were hot and horny no just right in the caption super hot and horny what's the photo look like though just nailed it that's somebody's cup of tea I don't know I don't really know what I would put on my thing like cuz you know everything has to be like a subtle Showcase of something you've got offer you know what I mean it's like your how about we pick everyone else's okay yeah that's better cuz then you're never going to say with ████ boxing clubs on N dude I couldn't do that I would honestly the first picture of you
1:43 would have you in your like fight wear dude you want me to get zero cuz it's like it shows who you are without saying who you are but not pants though or like one rolled up so you can show your sweet tat oh you D I got to show the T off J I would make you do that yeah and then the first line would be like uh don't worry I'm gentle and then the rest of your ████ gay ass bio or just like in middle school kids used to call me jumbo yeah real talk though I think I have to pass on that boy to just show yourself like in your lifestyle yeah I like that not like fake ████ like I'm in my Lamborghini even if you have one I think that's pretty tacky if you want to attract those kind of girls but like if you're into Jiu-Jitsu then it's like you and your Jiu-Jitsu bu or like if you're into people in the
2:33 first photo which one am I all photos or like you're like you're like hiking cuz that's what you do you like hiking you know what I mean and then like yeah I just think that then they can understand it's like oh yeah you like this you like this stuff I like this stuff too when you're saying put it in your profile you're talking about a sentence or you're talking about a picture or all of the above all but but picture picture is the first thing like some people don't even see what you typed because they're just going looking at you and ████ M so the first picture has to be a hook you don't even read the bio until you click on the picture so you you have to be at least somewhat attracted before you even see the bio so you got to really put your best fo forward one thing that I've seen guys do that are friends of mine that are just like killing it on apps is they are holding a ████ puppy oh dude that's easy ba can you put a puppy in
3:23 mine then I want to be you think they're just good-looking guys and the puppy just enhances it well they are white oh okay they do have ass okay are the ABS showing with the pup yeah oh dude that's that's too much that's powerful bro I know that's a very powerful picture my so my buddy who's like just the freaking craziest at this thing he that's his first picture shirtless at the beach holding a puppy RI and he's white his next photo he's in a suit and he's at like Pebble Beach oh yeah got to have a suit on background exactly yeah he's at like the concour delans the freaking let's look at my tender yeah it's crazy let's look at yours let's look at yours we'll judge yours I haven't looked at it in over a year so kid I feel like I would like to put photos up that would attract the type of girl I like cuz like you
4:14 know some guys would be like all right I want to look like I'm a catch so I'm going to have a herum of women around me and I want to you know I'm I'm going be flexing with my Rolex and my ████ Ferrari because I want a 10 hot club girl right but if your life isn't about that and you really don't want a girl like telling you let's go party every night cuz you're just like I want to stay home and play video games I think you got to show you got to do the light that you think that attracts those type of girls it's kind of like if you want a hot athletic surfer girl right like are you a hot athletic Surfer boy and then I don't think guys do that so what would you put I would first like whatever time of life I'm in I'd be thinking about what kind of women I want m like yeah if it's right now then it's probably someone active someone that's
5:05 going to enjoy traveling someone you know so then I'll think what would you put for him ooh easy okay for him yeah I got this too someone that likes to dance what do you mean no what would you make his profile look like like first picture what's his photo his first photo in a well you can't really show dance cuz un photo but it'll be a pose of a dance he's got a lot of photos where he's showing dance idea but it might be bad do it go for it what if we put Anthony in blackace oh yeah it might get a lot of tension on his profile I don't know if a lot of ladies want to date that no offense Anthony but I mean yeah it's okay I also imagined Bart with a murderous knife you know and a dead dog in his hand so that's question with dating profiles is do you want to like Flex who you are cuz like a lot of you guys have I think you have to flex a
5:56 little bit you know what I think it is surprise it's Anthony Le on stage AG ahead in the clouds and the cap says I'm kind of a big deal like that bro I want every photo to be with a celebrity it's a picture of Anthony with Jackson Wayne but Jackson Wayne's like in the front and then Anthony's bar like this it's him shoving Jackson Wing face like that you want to know what's sadly the most accurate thing that actually makes the biggest difference showing something that scales your height and they can they can tell how tall you are so me in a photo with all you ████ hey man take that back that's ████ up man no because that's the leading that's the leading uh what's it Factor women or but then we're talking about going for volume then what if I do a fake one I do a six feet like thing I'm like this yeah yeah exactly yeah looking over it yeah or it's like you're in a pool you
6:47 could see the six and your waist is up you're just like like damn that guy 74 holy ████ yeah but I think if you're being honest then choosing for each other is pretty funny obviously you have no shirt in yours in my dream I think for M I would for sure lead with humor to make sure just to make sure I attract the right person that's all maybe I would do blackface but I don't want get canceled either though that's leading with humor it's a strong Choice mental illness to see like how soft their like funny bone is yeah with with bar out of his like five photos that he has it's got to be the last photo where he's just ripped yeah yeah that's the ████ that be a the finale what if you purposely go from from ugly to fit oh you don't want to go ugly to fit not ugly it's like a ride how about get your
7:38 old photos when you're fat and then you see the transition or or every time you swipe it's like he gets thinner and thinner and thinner I think a dude dressed up nice is a good first photo dude yeah dress nice yeah warm clear clean maybe a dog maybe height yeah at a wedding or something you know oh that's cool something like that that might be good shows that you have family values you know yeah you could take me to a wedding you know I'll do a funeral one so I don't I don't steal what you do yeah no you we you could do it all baby you can do it all almost like a nice head shot you know what I mean a nice head shot I don't think so I think mine mine has to be something that doesn't make sense to attract the person I like like I have to maybe like wear a life jacket while like my face is covered in marshmallows or something really something you don't
8:28 think people think you're scared [Laughter] cuz also look at you you know I think very easily you could think this guy's scary it's hard cuz women are they have to be careful too and they you got seconds to get their attention right yeah yeah seconds cuz obviously we know Bart so we know he's such a ████ silly goose time but then when you see him you're like this dude is scary as hell it's like when I saw you if you don't know B you don't if you don't cuz it obviously you're the complete opposite and personality wise but like just looking at you you're like this guy's a ████ psycho yeah he's a crazy freak psycho he probably has no emotions or something that's that it's like Tyler Perry yeah you're pretty intimidating at first when people get to know you it's like yeah he's a ████ idiot I mean Terry Cruz not Tyler Perry I was like that we both didn't say anything he said he said tell
9:18 per I was like yeah media like media oh yeah yeah yeah Terry Cruz I haven't seen that movie we just let him have it we're like okay when uh like I think like a decade ago or whenever this was when I had a serious tinner profile for like a short bit I did do that I like had my craziest photo of where how I look like my hair and ████ and I got all like Goths and rockabilly chicks and it was perfect but I never went on one date oh really yeah so how was it perfect because that was exactly what I wanted to meet we like that style of girls well why didn't you go on Dat cuz I'm weird because I'm weird and I went and I went I don't know I don't think you know you get wishy-washy and then you just don't do it and I think that's what a lot of Happ what happens to a lot of people on
10:08 dating apps because it's so like you get so much volume you see so many different people so it kind of feels like you met a bunch of people but you really didn't and you just go n ████ it plus I think you just you just get more judgmental you're just like H she doesn't seem like she gets this humor you know like but she might who knows you know you guys want to judge my Tinder yeah all right who want take it just hold it up hold it up hold it up here I'll let Joe do it I already like it oh that's good I already like it what is that what are you holding I think I'm he's not holding nothing leaning on a ra collared shirt he's wearing a collared shirt nice spiffy that's a good picture of you this way wait what does it say at the bottom I think if you just tap oh oh that's good I love hanging out with people who go to concerts what music you listening to that's a good ice breaker I like that
10:59 he's asking the person what they like is this hinge and it feels real tender tender this one looks like he's ready to sell some Old Navy yeah also also PR model it should be noted he was smiling in the first picture which smiling is good yeah that's a that's an important thing yeah and and we can see his likes okay he likes hiking I like the vines in the back represents like a trail he likes comedy music gamer and dancing oh it gets more undressed as we go you got to take you got to take the top off that's the be he's a YouTuber at internet Missouri State University and lives in Torrance and look at that one wow what is he listening to there's the camp rock he has a
11:49 Spotify he has a Spotify so you know he's an artist do you have the same tastes oh okay what is it in the club he's at the club at the club I don't know what that picture is honestly he's at the beach he's at the beach he's at the beach he's at the beach guys glad at the beach all right it's lock down it's lock down stay safe during lock down he he's responsible look at that D watch out some skin show a little nip you know got a little Johnny Cage going on little boxer this is more Zara than it is old May there you go all right I am more Zara than Old Navy in comparison to what I used to be you active on that are you hitting people up I haven't used it in probably like a year or so you've been on any actual dates did you ever follow
12:39 through with anything yeah I follow through with I probably got on like 30 or 40 Tinder dates over ho ████ that means you're just striking out all the time or you just hooking up crushing bro I so I would say the issue with Tinder is pretty much every single person that I've got on a date with I haven't shared a single mutual friend with so so I think that's usually what causes me to not want to date them is because you want to have mutual there's no one that could vouch for them or just there's no way you could like cross reference what's going on like that it's just like so much effort to try to like fully integrate somebody into your life that you have like no overlap that makes sense and that's literally been 100% of the dates I've gone on so it's usually one and done when you go on these dates no it'll usually be like a couple weeks or so and then we'll just kind of like run out of like unique things to do and
13:30 it'll be like you know we like each other but not enough to like continue putting in that energy and money and did you use a dating app in Missouri yeah and it even in Missouri you didn't meet people with mutuals not really wow most of the like gay guys that I was attracted to were usually guys that were coming from like really far out in the sticks like really yeah just like random like out from the country from like the really small towns really the only was it were they're like the only gay guy there so they're like but they're all buff because they're like Lumberjacks yeah they're ████ throwing ha ████ wearing nothing but overalls in the forest chopping out trees like none of them are buff I'm not into buff guys okay did you have a sorry Bart the buffest guy I know I know did you have a type when you were like looking through Tinder as as a swiper yeah I have a type what's your what's
14:20 your type what what what are the first things that would catch your eye not just like a TI person yeah that's true that's a good question is it the face is it the dog think good looking face face I like slim toned body types face slim tone body no bellies what about like captions or anything like that what were were things that stuck out that worked I don't give a ████ about captions I'm pretty superficial how about aesthetic aesthetic wise do you have any preference if someone was more like alternative or if they were more like rockabilly yeah like a fashion honestly I kind of prefer just like more simplistic down to earth just more into like nature and the world than they are into what would be like a turn off Patagonia um L not into like too much jewelry or piercings yeah right answer
15:12 right for jewelry dude yeah I think my jewelry like limit is like one thing so like you either have your ears pierced or you're wearing a necklace or you have like like one thing and then that's like you get a guy with bangal disqualify buddy you don't got that much bling on you that's cool I got more than one don't look don't look country boy though like literally playing in the woods for like the first like 15 years of my life so I just so I just like down toe ████ honestly like I'm just basic that sounds really fun I'm trying to become like more into consumerism and stuff cuz I know that's what most people care about but it's boring compar comparatively which do you prefer the your uh the dating app when you're using it here or when you're in Missouri um probably here cuz there's literally a thousand times more people oh oh way more diverse like people that you meet and stuff yeah but but I do
16:04 think I was like I've noticed strangely enough I think in general I'm more attracted to people in Missouri than in California and maybe that's just because what I was risen around could be personality too honestly that's that's possible yeah cuz big cities just don't lead to like long-term anything or in like deeper anything just in general it's more like hookup culture and like I just feel like it's more superficial cuz you have so many options you could ████ all day and people are more disposable out here it's not 31 Flavors it's 31,000 flavors which one you want yep it's unlimited just kidding news careful boys is a brand just kidding news is the man of smart people the people of just kidding news careful boys they are very smart just kidding news the number one podcast in the
16:55 [Music] world [Music] I
// end of tape